Be Ashamed to Body Shame

"Kitni khoobsurat lagegi agar thoda weight lose kar legi. Hum sirf tere baare mein soch rahe hain, tujhe bura nahi lagana chahiye, agar hum nahi kahenge toh kaun kahega?"

"You remind me of the waning moon, everytime I see you, you look thinner than before. Doesn't your mother feed you enough?"

"I understand that you have put on weight, but you need to work on losing weight now."

"You can't even hug skinny people, all you feel is bones."

"Aren't you a little chubby to be a dance instructor?"

"Put on some weight!"

These are some of the comments that we, CC members, have gotten for the way our bodies look. This is what body shaming looks like, and it's so normal that you too might have heard or passed a variation of such comments.

Body shaming is making improper and disparaging remarks about someone else's weight or size.

This is something that overweight individuals experience frequently, but there is a rising trend to criticize people who appear to be "too skinny" or "too dark" or "too light" or anything outside of "perfect".

Do you remember the scene where Naina, being the bestie that she is, fat-shames Sweetu (Kal Ho Naa Ho)? Or what about when Kabir categorizes women into "chics" and "teddy bears" (Kabir Singh)? Or when Tara comments on her colleague's weight and when met with a disapproving look, she makes a self-deprecating comment about her own body type (Mission Mangal)?

No, we don't want to blame everything on Bollywood. The industry is obsessed with the 36-24-36 body type and size zero, but it is a reflection of society and the obsession with peoples' weight and bodies. But where does it stem from?

Pictures from the 1800s show that plumpness was actually considered a sign of wealth and access to food. But then, fatness started being associated with laziness, especially in the colonized countries. And Europeans believed themselves to be civilized and could control their curbs, unlike the countries they colonized. In addition to that, the publication of diet books targeted at women started attacking women and their self-esteem. This attack on self-esteem with respect to body image has continued well into the 21st century.

But now, being skinny isn't preferred, rather the ideal body type is preferred. In men, fit, athletic bodies are considered ideal, whereas, in women, the hourglass figure is the perfect body type. Corporations like gym chains, publication houses publishing diet books, cosmetologists, the fashion industry, etc. gnaw at our self-image issues to sell us these perfect body types for their benefit and these ideas are further pushed into our minds by the people around us.

As we progress as a society, we understand that it's not right to call out someone for something that's not really in their hands. We are becoming more compassionate and rejecting the notions of beauty standards. But there's still a long way to go, and while we make this journey, we, the CCs, would like to draw your attention to how body image issues can affect our physical and mental health.

Can it happen that in the technologically advanced 2023, a person is still discriminated against for his/her physical appearance?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

“But how many tattoos do you have?” “You can see her cellulite, she shouldn't post photos in swimsuit” are just some of the most common judgments.

Even a simple “ I see you lost weight” can become a judgmental and unsolicited sentence if stated out of place or out of context.

Body shaming and weight shaming (more referred to body weight) are social phenomena that affects heavily in various ways and, in particular, on:

1. Self-esteem: leading to a progressive dissatisfaction with oneself which can lead to dysmorphia (constantly worrying over a perceived or slight defect in your own appearance)

2. Mood tone: up to the development of real depressive symptoms

3. Physical health: affecting immune system regulation and exacerbating eating disorders like anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder or bulimia to name a few.

4. Sense of personal effectiveness: preventing the development of a self-image capable of coping with the more usual personal challenges

5. Social life: tending to make the victim feel lonely and isolated.

In our society it is difficult to love your body, yourself!

There are many challenges to overcome before you can feel compassion, acceptance and ultimately love for your body. We are confronted with the "perfect" models proposed by social media and what results is that we become increasingly ruthless judges of ourselves and of others.

Behind a person's weight gain, there could be emotional illnesses or physical pathologies of which we are not aware of and judgment or teasing is an attitude that can generate pain.

Body shaming, therefore, negatively affects self-esteem and causes a significant increase in anxiety and obsession with food.

The dynamics triggered by body shaming lead to even more serious problems especially among adolescents who are easily influenced and need confirmation of their physical form to feel accepted and desirable.

In most cases, being overweight is a result of overeating, an incorrect diet, and/or due to a sedentary lifestyle. However, sometimes you can be doing all the right things (eating healthy and exercising) but still find the kilos just don't seem to come down and this may be due to a number of other factors:

- lack of sleep This leads to night binge and alteration of hormone levels.

-Stress When the rhythms of life become too intense, the body goes into survival mode: cortisol, the "stress hormone", is secreted, which causes an increase in appetite

- hypothyroidism Without thyroid hormones, your metabolism slows down, making you more likely to gain weight.

- Use of certain medicine A side effect of some antidepressants and steroids is weight gain.

-PCOS This is a common hormonal problem in young women and they are resistant to insulin, the hormone that controls blood sugar, which is the level of sugar in the blood: this is why they can be prone to weight gain ( and major risk of heart disease).

-Lack of sunlight Exposure to sunlight is essential for the production of serotonin, the substance that regulates, among others, mood, appetite and sleep. If the person tends to stay indoors for many hours or sleep during the day, the body cannot produce sufficient amount of serotonin. The result is that there is an increase in appetite, especially the craving for carbohydrates.

The trend is the continuous comparison with the other. We are often confronted with size zero models proposed by social media and the entertainment industry (Bollywood/Hollywood) and the result is that we become increasingly ruthless judges of ourselves and of others.

What escapes us is that we are all the same.

All with the same insecurities and doubts that characterize the human soul, all with the same degree of shame when we are pointed at.

Yes, even celebs!

Please share below your thoughts on body shaming including in your opinion what are the key influencers of body shaming, how we should best tackle it and feel free to share personal examples if you feel comfortable doing so.

Credits:

la_Reine | MinionBoss | NSKay |

Life_Is_Dutiful | Animagus_Shiri | Yuvika_15

Interesting discussion.

I would like to believe if we were brutally honest that we are all guilty of body shaming... whether or not we openly body shame is another matter but I'd like to believe the thought has crossed our minds.

classic examples include when TV actress Additi Gupta got married - her choice of husband was trolled for his weight. I remember reading comments like "omg, she could have done so much better" "what did she see in him- he's an uncle"

TV celeb, Nia Sharma made fat shaming comments against Daisy Shah's arms.

Aishwarya Rai and Kareena Kapoor were trolled for their pregnancy weight - Kareena was trolled while she was pregnant which I found more awful. Aishwarya was trolled for her post pregnancy weight as unlike other celeb mothers she decided against losing the weight quickly.

On the other side of the Atlantic, we have Kate Middleton - princess of wales - within 3 months of giving birth she attended an official engagement where she played volleyball in heels and showed off her perfect abs - while the media praised her "amazing" post baby body, many social media users felt it was disgusting because it was assumed she was under pressure to get back to her pre-baby body and that gives a bad impression to other mums out there.

Recently, Alia had a c-section (apparently) and quickly got back to her pre-baby body by doing intense yoga etc. While she urged people to only do what their body tells them to she was trolled for trying to lose the weight quickly and not enjoy the mother child bonding time.

All this just proves as a society we are very judgemental and we put very unreasonable expectations - we are also as a society never ever satisfied - someone is either too fat or too skinny. This kind of body shaming is just not acceptable but is so common. I particularly feel for the women especially those in the public eye and those that gain weight during and post pregnancy.

Having said that, let us not forget that men can and are body shamed too - i recall Fardeen Khan was body shamed for his weight gain too. It is a very very complex and common issue in society today.

Love the title and write ups girls! ❤️

It's a very serious topic. Ppl need to stop judging others based on their size. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Just the other day, Lizzo and Ariana talked to their fans about stop shaming their bodies.. they're artists not models.

Skinny girls often get told gain some weight, how will you raise a child like that? And the average to overweight are constantly told to lose weight or they won't find a good partner.

There's no winning.

Having a healthy body =/= to bring skinny or fat. It varies from person to person, as long as you can do all the chores without being tired, have a good stamina.. it is fine.

Simply tired of the body shaming. Being a skinny girl, I get all sorts of weird tips on how to gain weight and be more "healthy" while my body stays the same, no matter what I eat or don't. 🤣 she stubborn like me 😆 just built different 🤣

Men have all sorts of expectations tied to them.. can't be shorter than x height, you won't even find clothes online or shops that fit properly if you're average height or shorter. The dad bod and having perfect slender figure or OTT muscles.. we've seen the number of actors die of heart attack due to unnecessary pressure on heart, over exercising without proper food and rest. One shirtless scene and actors stay hungry and waterless for an entire day. This obsession needs to be controlled of not stopped entirely.

This is an interesting topic, but the writeup needs a couple of corrections.

An example of an hourglass figure is the "36-24-36" body type: 36" around breasts, 24" around waist, 36" around buttocks. Instead, you decried obsession with the "24-36-24" body type, which one might call a sundial figure.

People who market body image include "cosmetologists," who develop cosmetics. Your list confused them with "cosmologists," people who study the cosmos, the universe at galaxy level. Until you gain so much mass that light cannot escape your gravity, don't worry about cosmologists body-shaming you.

One thing I would add to your list of factors in weight gain is vitamin D hormone. This chemical affects both sleep and weight, and its presence in the body depends on a combination of diet, sunlight exposure, and body fat (because it is fat-soluble). Everyone who feels overweight and sleep-deprived should get checked for vitamin D hormone deficiency and consider taking pills to get enough of it.

Now I'll share a couple of my own experiences with body shaming.

Starting from my teenage years, I heard comments on the "funny-looking" gap between my top front teeth. I ignored them, and when my dentist's erstwhile partner asked if I really liked my smile and didn't want to change anything, I shrugged and said, "Only the eye of the beholder." In my late thirties, I met a dentist who said clearly that my flared teeth were putting pressure on my gums to recede, and I should see an orthodontist. I am forever grateful to that dentist for giving honest scientific advice instead of body-shaming.

While shopping for a yoga mat that was long enough for my body, I did not appreciate the advertisement: "72 inches - fits everybody!"

One of the daily dramas I follow, Sundarā Manāmadhe Bharalī (Marathi), is about a stout woman married to a fitness enthusiast who had no problem with her body type and motivated her to enjoy exercise. Unfortunately, the insults that the villains utter to dehumanize her are also used by a couple of viewers posting on India Forums whenever they think "the fatso" should shut up and obey her in-laws. I've also seen posts like "that dark-skinned hero has such big nostrils, who made him an actor?" (He has a Master's degree in theatre.) I've followed the India Forums rule not to disagree with these comments because that would be "moral policing." Although the forum guidelines state that attacking actors' looks is not allowed, when I reported these posts, they were not removed, edited, or even marked with a warning. Instead, the Viewbie pointed me out to the body-shamers and refused to deal with consequent posts inviting me to fight. Global Moderators never opened my PM's about this.

Society is unneccesarily obsessed with outer appearance, and more so with the advent of social media. But it is important to remember that as long as one is having a healthy diet, the required amount of water, proper sleep, healthy amounts of exercise (neither over nor under), takes care in case there is any nutrient deficiency or hormonal imbalance, takes care of one's mental health, gets some amount of sun exposure during the day (for serotonin levels, it improves mood); as long as one takes care of these things, their body shape doesn't matter. People have different metabolic rates, so they can appear differently despite following every healthy habit. There is no ideal shape. What really matters is that a person is happy and internally healthy.

Great thread, CC! ❤ Accepting one's body is an important aspect of self love. For a long time, (esp during my teens), I hated myself for being too skinny. Of course, people taunted and pointed it out. (Well, maybe the hatred started because of the taunts). Now I have learnt not to listen to these people and have a little more self love.

Im skinny..From Person A to person Z I have seen people telling me and my parents did she eat anything or just survive inhaling air or she is doing dieting or what?And more things...Earlier it used to hurt but now I reached at I don't care stage .

Not just body shaming some people like to stay simple. They don't like to going to parlour they like to live simple life not so lavish life. Don't want to waste money on unnecessary things. I have seen people acting as if they are animals. And people who wear heavy make up termed as straight out from a drama company.

The body , make up and everything should be the person's choice. No one should comment how other person should be.

I have seen people mocking those who display body hairs especially for girls. That should also stop.

Its such a an important topic which should be discussed, people should be made aware that its not only food which makes you gain weight... there are so many things which make you gain or lose fat. Best poeple can do is accept them and give them time.