Originally posted by: sidnilove
I feel Katha and Aarav's relationship is dysfunctional. The way she says that he's the only man in her life..and the way Aarav says that he's the man of the house sounds like they are scared to let a man in. I understand the fear of losing what they have. They have lost Adi and they want to hold on to what they have left - each other. But it's not a healthy dependency.
Katha should not be thinking of getting into a relationship only because Aarav needs a father. And Viaan should not be thinking that Aarav is the key or the way to Katha's heart. We have watched so many shows, read so many books where single parents date and only when they are comfortable with their partners they introduce them to their kids and that is a big step.
Katha and Viaan should not start off with the baggage of fulfilling Aarav's wishes. They need to like each other as individuals first. They need to fall for each other with no burdens..no conditions..no baggage.
What if Viaan and Aarav hit it off (even after Katha and Viaan start dating) but Katha realises that she is not in love with Viaan..what then? Will she continue to date him and eventually marry him because Aarav likes him??
Katha is so used to being a mother that she has stopped thinking as an individual..as a woman..as a single woman. It's okay to think about what she wants in a man.
I just hope that this doesn't become about Aarav. Yaar Aarav is 8..in a decade he will have his own life and he'll move out. What will Katha do then with a husband who is a good father but not the love of her life.
Maybe I'm asking for too much.
Unfortunately, this is what happens to a lot of single parents - they consciously or subconsciously look for a co-parent to fill the void in their kids' lives. They also end up assessing the potential partner as a parent rather than as a spouse. The thing is, if he's not a good father (figure) I don't think she'll be able to accept him fully because she doesn't want to be unfair to Aarav. That's the way her mind works. When Aarav was younger, he was unwell for most of the time so there wasn't scope to think about Adi not being around. Now, when he's getting the love and affection of the Garewals, he's seeing other types of relationships up close and comparing it to his life. It's only natural. Katha had always known deep down that he would start asking questions one day, so she was prepared to answer them when the time came. Can I just add here, props to the writing and screenplay when she was cuddling Aarav and consoling him, while her own heart was breaking for both of them.
The other thing is that if the first relationship was loving and beautiful, the person often doesn't look for that kind of love in the second one. They tend to focus more about companionship and feeling ease in a relationship vs. head over heels. This also shows the difference between both characters in terms of what stage in life each one is in. For Viaan this is his first (and probably only) love, whereas Katha has experienced it before with Adi. They may not expect the same things from each other even if they were to decide to get married. As far as we know, Viaan hasn't had a serious relationship before so there are bound to be a lot of firsts and that butterflies in the stomach feeling. I'm not sure what the writers have in mind. They may end up showing Katha too feeling that kind of love for Viaan, i.e. second time but still madly in love with him at some point but it will take a long long time. He will have to immerse himself in her life to the point where she can't imagine living without him, where she needs and wants him to be part of that inner circle she currently has with Aarav both in the role of her husband and his father (figure).
She's the kind of person who would never impose on someone to take the role of Aarav's father (figure) or expect them to put that effort in. This is why Viaan doing it organically is the only way that it will work for the 3 of them, since her psychological barriers will be removed over time. The other important aspect is that she would have to get over her guilt of falling for someone else after Adi's death and understanding that Viaan has his own place in her heart, as opposed to taking Adi's place (which is not possible). Viaan already gets this but it is bound to be a cause of angst for Katha eventually.
I wonder if Mr G will still be the supportive "father" in the long term, because Katha remarrying means Aarav will have a new family to be part of and his dream of having Katha and Aarav move into their house will vanish.
Jhanak
Udne Ki Aasha
Anupamaa
