TERE BIN -Yumna Zaidi-Wahaj Ali DT#5 (Geo) "Mere Saath hi Lagalo, DIL" - Page 26

Originally posted by: columbia

So yaaar I can’t relate to these two at all. I tots love their chemistry and frankly Wahaj is really good looking. Timepass OTT show this is.

No one in my immediate family or friends circle is like murtasim at all. I mean so he is some village ka chief or generational wealthy person of a small town and to think that in itself is possible is kind of silly. It’s like saying all those CEO stories with naive intern girls is real…they are not, they prey on some wired Prince Charming complex.

at the same time, let me say, I am quite opinionated and quite stand up and say what I want kind of girl. Do people think I am bratty, sure. But there is no way in hell will I want to be with a man who cannot get on with that program. My fiancé was a very charming and yet quite an upright guy. He did have his dominating moments and so did I. Once his aunt told him, “Teri honevali kaafi mufat hai, teri baat nahi sunne vaali” and he said “mai uska boss ya baap nahi hun” .

the thing is that whole Insta love that they show murtasim having for Meerab without even knowing her, just by watching her pray in itself is a fantasy that has been built. He falls for her, he thinks he can make her “his” or tame her with those OTT lines, then he is showing her various sides of him - a caring husband, a just leader all of this wanting her to love him. But does he love her as the person she is??! No he wants the wife, loves the woman, but not her spirit, not her personality. It’s all on his terms.

So in the end, at least for a story told through his lens, it most probably will be like she will love the husband, and adjust herself to his personality. Then hand claps will happen because everyone will say he made her fall in love with him.

and that’s it.

Abbb de bhi do Mujhe voh shawl.

I don’t agree with others that Murtasim is in love with Meerub just because he saw her praying, but it did changes his opinion of her, he is a very traditional man and Meerub is a very modern girl but when he saw that she can pray too which many self declared modernists won’t do, for him it surely was the turning point, he understood that she valued their ideals as much as he do. But he is still unable to digest her challenging him. Like I said it previously when she challenged his ideology he was angry but not aggressive but when she challenged his authority he became rogue. He did not take it well because his personality, his ways of life comes from the power he asserts over others. They are as faulty as one could be, I am not denying the fact but I said I understand where they stand and that doesn’t make them toxic. He wants to control her but he can’t and he knows the fact but if he was toxic then he would have used the force to control her but he didn’t.

P.s you not need to relate with them and you can still enjoy their chemistry because at the end of the day it is just a fictional world. You can’t control if it gives a wrong message so don’t let it spoil your mood. Enjoy it cause that’s why we see dramas for entertainment no matter how shitty they are😂

Originally posted by: Nephy1

@B-Yup..thats it,its not regressiveness on his part,its mostly tge way to exist safely and keep his loved ones safe in that kind a society system.

And people here I see that think about things on individual basis they tend to forget that we co-exist in a societ which is driven by certain rules which changes every kilometre,every city,every society,culture,state and country.

They all are not progressive,many of them have flaws and need changes and changes are occuring also continously but that doesn't mean that in present people will not ensure their safety becoz for now it is very very wrong or unjustified in the hope that after some decades it will change.

Muratsim has 2 characters one is of husband and other is of leader to his village people,what he has done was very wrong but think in a way that if leader's wife can get abducted in his presence and bodygurad's than how risky it can get for normal females of his village,he had to ensure their safety and we can clearly saw that poloce has not much say in this feudal system.

Meerab is also right that in this conflict why women are suffering she was thinking more on social change,in frame of possibilities and foremost to protect the one female in front of her.

Murtasim was thinking more about current socuetal norms,what is present situation and safety of many women of his side.

Still in this regressiveness he tries to maintain some justifications,ek teer se do nishane.

Hus problem us he want meerab to liten him without questioning as well as understand him as others do.

But he doesn't get that meerab had no exposure to these things he need to take her in confidence and slowly a day may come where she will trust enough to not question him regarding his leadership decisions.

If you have seen she tend to trust him as husband.So its not like she doesn't trust him,its that she is strange to his political ways and how things work there.

And one more things I want to add,he just doesn't want meerab to respect in front of people,he expected the same from his mother for meerub becoz thats how it is at the end.

There are many things you find wrong is your parents ways becoz of generational gap,you have more broad mind but that doesn't mean you will go on public humiliation to them but at the same time its also parent's job to explain things otherwise it ill surely create conflict between them and us.

Originally posted by: Moonks

I think there is something wrong with me, I am not finding anything wrong with Murtu, Meerub and the script☺️

Same here i also dont find anything wrong with the series....i enjoy completely all the OTTness😄

Originally posted by: Moonks

@bold true because when you do no matter how righteous you are you would be seen in negative light only. The end doesn’t justify means no matter what one May believes.

Yeah,i read your one more reply before this.

And I can also see things the way you do,becoz people exist change compromise,how wrong it may see to others but nothing is black and white.

And nothing can work if we make our mind one track.

They both have to bend themselves,they both need to adjust,they will becoz its a story they will and in real life also people do.

We don't agree with each and every view point of our loved ones be parents,siblings or friends but still we wnat to be with them,we love them.

Co existing is all about accepting each other with whole package.Change is required but that doesn't mean that if certain things are not going your way you will burst out which for now they both do.

Meerub does it publicly amd murtasim privately.That difference is becoz of their way of upbringing,Meerub doesn't mind society much s she grew in nuclear family but Murtasim gives thought to whole this thing as he grew up in joint family kind situation.

But they both retaliate.

Girls I think u are being very critical of meerab / Yumna

I think many of you are having tough time seeing Yumna who mostly plays preachy / issue / strong characters playing Meerab. I haven’t watched much of Yumna show except of PKS and few bits /pieces of her other shows /scenes . I think u should trust her judgement and give some time , think meerab char arc will start from now . We hve a ML who isn’t typical toxic he has his share of weirdness but so far he hasn’t been grade one 🤬

So this is totally my POV

Meerab so far has been naive, impulsive, innocent and childish but never been weak ,stupid or foolish in fact neither does Murtasim see her like that else the man wouldn’t have been attracted to her in first place and wouldn’t be tearing himself over some door mat Meerab.

She is the free bird , who thinks and talks what she wants no filters, no boundaries nada nothing. she is typical 21/22 year old urban girl who had secured life , loving parents , stress free, pressure free ,nobody to judge her , looking upto her, no restrictions , rules , never had to ask ,struggle or fight for anything and sees world as black and white there is no grey in her life! This is where Murtasim comes in he knows what life she has lead , he sees her for what she is, he knows as his wife she will be hve to give up alot, learn to be diplomatic if she wants things her way, can’t be impulsive and hot headed , softie she will have to figure out a balance, she can have her cake and eat it too but she can’t have the baker and bakery too. She is his rainbow, that is why he is so desperately clinging to her than other way round. He sees himself as someone to protect her as she is his to cherish .He so wants her to trust him especially when post marriage he has been always by her sides and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t , why he has to give her explanations for everything. He will understand and eventually learn .

he has been groomed to be protector of people and it’s this instinct which always keeps cropping up and so whenever Murtasim stands up/support Murtasim meerab finds uncomfortable as she feels she doesn’t need anyone support especially Murtasim, as she feels he has ulterior motives but the past few days especially the accident has been wake up call for her, he was upset and angry yet he came in front of her ( let’s believe he did some Siraj bhai physics stunts) and saved her , the girl is totally shaken up and she needs answers. Till now the idea Murtasim might have fallen in love with her didn’t cross her , to her this marriage is sham, a bad dream and she has been caged and been trying ways to show her displeasure or unhappiness but given she herself doesn’t totally understand what is it she wants she does this pendulum girl. If we look it’s him who always trying to work on this marriage. She is still 21/22 years old we can’t expect much from her right given all past events.

This accident will change things for her , she will see him in different light if at all that scene where Murtasim will tell his feelings /thoughts / views / expectations whatever it is to her , it will be totally her call whether she wants to stay in this marriage or move out.

I agree there is a partiality towards Robin Hood but she is
his lady Marian and his army all rolled into one :-) so she is not going go to south alone but will rather go to Timbuktu with him. See how she pulled him into pool rather than saying no to his help and walking away .

P.S - Even world best spy Bond’s brain cells went whacko after he fell in love with madeleine and believed she betrayed so these are creative liberties !

Views are strictly personal :)

I am more in a favor of a character being believable instead of relatable. I certainly dont think characters should be written with likability in mind.It's a more a case of needing to understand why a character does the things they do.Yes,I sometimes want to live vicariously in this fictional world through a character of similar mind to me but is that the main draw? Definitely not! I dont have to relate to the character to find them compelling.Good stories are like a chess game, the world building and seeing how all the characters move around is where the intrigue lies.

Originally posted by: Moonks

I understand your point, you haven’t seen a single case related to this but I have seen, I have seen a wife still living with her husband who cheated on her for years. It may sound absurd to anyone but I have seen them so closely that the theory once a cheater is always a cheater or how could she? Doesn’t she have self-respect and all this do not matter. Real life is so different than what we think. Many of them would say that husband is so selfish and all, and I would agree with that but I have seen him changing, respecting his wife wishes like no one else would, not in my circle though, if one sees it from a single lens, this whole situation is so toxic but it is not. People works differently than we know and read. I hope you know what I am trying to say.

I don’t agree with others that Murtasim is in love with Meerub just because he saw her praying, but it did changes his opinion of her, he is a very traditional man and Meerub is a very modern girl but when he saw that she can pray too which many self declared modernists won’t do, for him it surely was the turning point, he understood that she valued their ideals as much as he do. But he is still unable to digest her challenging him. Like I said it previously when she challenged his ideology he was angry but not aggressive but when she challenged his authority he became rogue. He did not take it well because his personality, his ways of life comes from the power he asserts over others. They are as faulty as one could be, I am not denying the fact but I said I understand where they stand and that doesn’t make them toxic. He wants to control her but he can’t and he knows the fact but if he was toxic then he would have used the force to control her but he didn’t.

Cheating is a very grey area. Even good people are capable of cheating. That don't make them toxic. I know guys that forgive their girls for cheating. So a married woman staying with her husband who genuinely is sorry for what he did is not at all hard to believe. At times cheating is not even about physical pleasure and not because one partner don't respect the other or because a guy or a girl don't respect the opposite gender.

But it's hard to connect with a character like murtasim in this day and age for people like me who grew up in a more progressive environment. I am not saying there is no guy like murtasim. The world has 8bn people and every kind of people are there. Do i enjoy watching wahaj as murtasim? Yes. But i cannot justify most of his actions and thought process and things it's not toxic. Like columbia said i have never come across a guy who owns an entire village and is the decision maker of an entire village and its people. If he was shown as a politician with actual legal power then yes i understand. We live in a civilized society and to accept whatever is shown in the drama as real is hard. I knows things like gangs of wasseypur and mirzapur type of stories are very much possible in places like UP and Bihar in India but i am from Kerala and it's literally impossible for me to imagine a land like that. I am the kind that got surprised to hear that joined family is still a thing in the north. 😆

I don't think in real life scenario any progressive girl with a clear pov and ambitions can spend her life with a guy like murtasim unless she compromise on her own beliefs and principles. And i don't think a guy like murtasim who experienced that amount of power and authority can bend his ways and fall in love with a girl like meerab to the level he will bend his ways. I agree that people like meerab will be there in real and people like murtasim will be there in real. But together they will be a disaster in real life. There isn't gonna be a happily ever after for them in real. Guys like murtasim in real won't tolerate women like meerab. We live in a world were women are killed or raped or acid thrown at them by men with no power for saying no to them.

Originally posted by: Nephy1

Meerub does it publicly amd murtasim privately.That difference is becoz of their way of upbringing,Meerub doesn't mind society much s she grew in nuclear family but Murtasim gives thought to whole this thing as he grew up in joint family kind situation.

But they both retaliate.

Bang on! Meerab so far has been opposing injustice and fight against outsiders so she she thinks it’s okay to do it publicly . But within family / marriage you don’t do it like that. It’s just not acceptable be it Murtasim or anyone else.

Look back when she goes hitting that maids husband ,no body opposed her but it was the way she handled is what then all went ballastic about. Waqas says u shld hve told me or called police . She says I did but they were late so I took up stick but if u see the scene again it’s maid who first starts the fight and hitting the guy.

Even during wedding also she walks off like that in front of all she could have asked him before too when she says yes to marriage .

Her walima fiasco she says what’s wrong if I danced for my happiness ? I am like wait werent u unhappy with marriage and just yest walked off in front of everyone saying no yo put down some silly contract? And how is anyone suppose to think u didnt do it for revenge purpose ?
And even then he ensure her respect is intact does a nazar Uttarna and hands over but never throws the money, then pulls her out and warns her in private and then immediately cools down when she says it’s her reaboth him and Anwar point out to maa Begum what she did was wrong in private. This is how it happens in all upper and elite classes .

All this Tamasha in front of everyone is more not so classy . Yes she tried to talk in private and he brushes her off so does he deserve this humiliation infront if his propel ? No and this is what she has to learn if she wants to have a say in things she has to cool him before putting her POV she can’t bring on her activist side so harshly and Murtasim if he wants his izzat intact he has to start sharing and communicate more openly with her .

Originally posted by: spnfan

Cheating is a very grey area. Even good people are capable of cheating. That don't make them toxic. I know guys that forgive their girls for cheating. So a married woman staying with her husband who genuinely is sorry for what he did is not at all hard to believe. At times cheating is not even about physical pleasure and not because one partner don't respect the other or because a guy or a girl don't respect the opposite gender.

But it's hard to connect with a character like murtasim in this day and age for people like me who grew up in a more progressive environment. I am not saying there is no guy like murtasim. The world has 8bn people and every kind of people are there. Do i enjoy watching wahaj as murtasim? Yes. But i cannot justify most of his actions and thought process and things it's not toxic. Like columbia said i have never come across a guy who owns an entire village and is the decision maker of an entire village and its people. If he was shown as a politician with actual legal power then yes i understand. We live in a civilized society and to accept whatever is shown in the drama as real is hard. I knows things like gangs of wasseypur and mirzapur type of stories are very much possible in places like UP and Bihar in India but i am from Kerala and it's literally impossible for me to imagine a land like that. I am the kind that got surprised to hear that joined family is still a thing in the north. 😆

I don't think in real life scenario any progressive girl with a clear pov and ambitions can spend her life with a guy like murtasim unless she compromise on her own beliefs and principles. And i don't think a guy like murtasim who experienced that amount of power and authority can bend his ways and fall in love with a girl like meerab to the level he will bend his ways. I agree that people like meerab will be there in real and people like murtasim will be there in real. But together they will be a disaster in real life. There isn't gonna be a happily ever after for them in real. Guys like murtasim in real won't tolerate women like meerab. We live in a world were women are killed or raped or acid thrown at them by men with no power for saying no to them.

and the case I was talking about was where the wife never respected her husband choices, she is always like don’t go with him, don’t talk to him, do as what I say and I was talking about this only because when we see the surface there are many things which seems problematic but it is far away from the truth. There was a time when in my mom’s village, the law was what village’s head says, there were days when you find only corpses in every street of the village just because someone disagrees with one or the other things and I am not talking about before independence, this was the scenario of like 15-20 years ago. You may not think that Murtasim holds any power but in reality he does, sometimes even a politician doesn’t have that much power over the people like a village head have.

And it’s not about agreeing, even I won’t agree with Meerub and Murtasim on many terms but it’s all about accepting the fact that it happens, people like them exists, even though we see it as problem they don’t, for them it’s a way of life. For you and I, independence matters more than anything but then there are people who can’t compromise on their traditions. It doesn’t mean one or other side is wrong, it’s all about the diversity and we need to accept the fact that not everyone thinks like us, it’s okay to have different opinions, different lifestyles. For us they are wrong and for them we are wrong but in reality no one is wrong. I would always respect a girl’s choice to be independent but then I would also respect a girl if she chooses to be housewife, because I am no one to not accept how one should live their life. When I was in college, there was a girl in my class who was studying only to get married while some wanted to be financially independent and that day I realised there is nothing wrong in the way other half lives except when they are committing a crime. I am a girl who would always go for an arrange marriage because my parents wants me to marry the one they chooses for me and for that I have listened to many comments like Behenji type, old school girl and there is no use of my education just because I am marrying the guy my parents chose. Many don’t agree with me and many does but in the end it’s not their decision to take or their right to criticise my choices.

@bold then just think what would be the thinking process of a guy with so much power in his hand and if we think it like this Murtasim’s reaction is so toned down. I am not going in the right/wrong side of his actions just simply saying that it’s natural for a guy like him to behave like this and that’s when Meerub comes into picture, she can keep him grounded and that’s how though so toxic when we see them differently they do make a perfect match for other. Meerub should know world doesn’t work in good or bad way but there is something in between them and Murtaism should know that though he is powerful but that doesn’t mean he is invincible or he can’t be challenged. But then Meerub should know a change never comes free of cost or smoothly.

Originally posted by: Winterberry

She is his rainbow, that is why he is so desperately clinging to her than other way round. He sees himself as someone to protect her as she is his to cherish .He so wants her to trust him especially when post marriage he has been always by her sides and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t , why he has to give her explanations for everything. He will understand and eventually learn .

Couldnt agree more. Beautifully articulated!