Katha Ankahee -- #8 daily episode DT - Page 83

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Heyy guys 😊

Just finished seeing the latest episode, and I have some thoughts on Reet's husband Yuvraj's affair. I wanted to know what you guys think.

I am the kind of person who believes that cheating is wrong under all conditions (I can perhaps make some exceptions for extreme conditions of abuse). It's an extremely serious moral offence in my opinion, and I doubt if I could personally ever forgive a person who cheats.

So obviously, Yuvraj's affair is disturbing to me. But I don't have any problems about a TV show depicting an affair; if Yuvraj is shown to be a grey character, so be it. I find morally grey characters quite intriguing, as long as they are portrayed with nuance and depth.

But my problem with Yuvraj's affair is that it seems to me (till now) that the writers are almost justifying the affair. By showing the scenes where Reet breaks the flowerpot in anger and where Yuvraj complains about his life to his mistress in the car, the depiction almost seems like because Yuvraj's life is so 'miserable,' his affair almost seems justifiable. It's almost like a cause-and-effect chain, and I don't know how to feel about this. Yes, Reet may not be a good wife; she is ungrateful, nagging, and has her own set of insecurities that she needs to take care of but doesn't acknowledge. I understand that Yuvraj may feel a lot of pain in his life because of how his wife treats him. But that is no excuse for cheating, according to me. There are lots of ways in which he could try to fix his marital problems with more maturity. I have seen many deep-rooted problems among married couples, and if every partner just cheats in order to alleviate their pain, then imagine how many families would break apart.

I am curious to know what you guys think about this. Do you feel that there might be any justification on Yuvraj's side for pursuing this affair? Do you feel sympathy for Reet? What are your guys' opinions on cheating?

I am tagging only the people I can remember for now; but please feel free to share nevertheless!!

Originally posted by: amrapali2

Heyy guys 😊

Just finished seeing the latest episode, and I have some thoughts on Reet's husband Yuvraj's affair. I wanted to know what you guys think.

I am the kind of person who believes that cheating is wrong under all conditions (I can perhaps make some exceptions for extreme conditions of abuse). It's an extremely serious moral offence in my opinion, and I doubt if I could personally ever forgive a person who cheats.

So obviously, Yuvraj's affair is disturbing to me. But I don't have any problems about a TV show depicting an affair; if Yuvraj is shown to be a grey character, so be it. I find morally grey characters quite intriguing, as long as they are portrayed with nuance and depth.

But my problem with Yuvraj's affair is that it seems to me (till now) that the writers are almost justifying the affair. By showing the scenes where Reet breaks the flowerpot in anger and where Yuvraj complains about his life to his mistress in the car, the depiction almost seems like because Yuvraj's life is so 'miserable,' his affair almost seems justifiable. It's almost like a cause-and-effect chain, and I don't know how to feel about this. Yes, Reet may not be a good wife; she is ungrateful, nagging, and has her own set of insecurities that she needs to take care of but doesn't acknowledge. I understand that Yuvraj may feel a lot of pain in his life because of how his wife treats him. But that is no excuse for cheating, according to me. There are lots of ways in which he could try to fix his marital problems with more maturity. I have seen many deep-rooted problems among married couples, and if every partner just cheats in order to alleviate their pain, then imagine how many families would break apart.

I am curious to know what you guys think about this. Do you feel that there might be any justification on Yuvraj's side for pursuing this affair? Do you feel sympathy for Reet? What are your guys' opinions on cheating?

I am tagging only the people I can remember for now; but please feel free to share nevertheless!!

There are no circumstances under which cheating is alright. What Yuvraj is doing is wrong and I don't think the show is justifying it. We are being shown why Yuvraj is doing it. That's all. He has issues with his dad and Reet is also troubling him..so these are reasons for him to look for support and comfort outside but again, no reason is big enough to justify cheating.

The good thing about this show is that we get a complete picture of Yuvraj and even Viraj Raghuvanshi. Viraj is not just a cheater who abandoned his wife and child. He was a progressive entrepreneur who started an architectural firm to focus on sustainable development 50 years back!!

Yuvraj is making a mistake and Viraj made huge mistakes in his life but the story is giving us a full view of these characters and then it is up to the viewers to either condemn their actions or sympathise with them or just accept them as ordinary people who made mistakes.

amra -- I have watched tons of cheating in dramas of all languages. so here is my takeaway. there are primarily two types of cheating and what it means to a relationship breakdown. one where it is a symptom and one where it is a cause.

what does the mean?

if it is a symptom, it means the marriage was already in trouble and therefore, cheating isn't the real problem itself in the marriage. in that case, just stopping cheating will not cause the marriage to repair itself. instead, the problems will continue and will manifest in other symptoms.

if it is a casue, it means the marriage was doing fine but the person was bored or strayed out of hormonal urges or whatever. so in that case, the cheating itself is a problem and therefore, the marriage could right itself if the 3rd party was removed.

now, within ITV, there is a naive kind of depiction very often when it comes to cheating. simply the 3rd party, the mistress, is the horrible person who tempted the man and therefore, the wife is not responsible for anything and neither is the husband because it is not his fault he got tempted. or something like that.

however, showing cheating as a cause gets people hyper active because they feel like cheating is then justified. we have to see a marriage like a living organism. so if cheating is a symptom, then yes, it means there are some flaws in how the two people are getting along. now a family can mean multiple people -- children, inlaws, friends, neighbours etc -- but a marriage only involves two spouses. so obviously outside pressure such as a terrible mom-in-law can affect the marriage but ultimately it is about how the two interact.

back to this drama, here, yuvi's cheating clearly is a symptom and not a cause. this means even if the girlfriend disappeared, yuvi and reet will continue to have problems.

I once read an article that said anytime, we have derision, the relationship will break. basically the article outlined 'the four horsemen' that can lead to marriage breakdowns -- criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

already wrote a lot but all four of these exist with reet and how she reacts to yuvi. hence it was inevitable. yuvi is miserable. like one tamil serial appa said, it isn't love that leads to relationship longevity but respect. if you don't have your wife's respect, it does not matter how much love you show. they will not appreciate you.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

amra -- I have watched tons of cheating in dramas of all languages. so here is my takeaway. there are primarily two types of cheating and what it means to a relationship breakdown. one where it is a symptom and one where it is a cause.

what does the mean?

if it is a symptom, it means the marriage was already in trouble and therefore, cheating isn't the real problem itself in the marriage. in that case, just stopping cheating will not cause the marriage to repair itself. instead, the problems will continue and will manifest in other symptoms.

if it is a casue, it means the marriage was doing fine but the person was bored or strayed out of hormonal urges or whatever. so in that case, the cheating itself is a problem and therefore, the marriage could right itself if the 3rd party was removed.

now, within ITV, there is a naive kind of depiction very often when it comes to cheating. simply the 3rd party, the mistress, is the horrible person who tempted the woman and therefore, the wife is not responsible for anything and neither is the husband because it is not his fault he got tempted. or something like that.

however, showing cheating as a cause gets people hyper active because they feel like cheating is then justified. we have to see a marriage like a living organism. so if cheating is a symptom, then yes, it means there are some flaws in how the two people are getting along. now a family can mean multiple people -- children, inlaws, friends, neighbours etc -- but a marriage only involves two spouses. so obviously outside pressure such as a terrible mom-in-law can affect the marriage but ultimately it is about how the two interact.

back to this drama, here, yuvi's cheating clearly is a symptom and not a cause. this means even if the girlfriend disappeared, yuvi and reet will continue to have problems.

I once read an article that said anytime, we have derision, the relationship will break. basically the article outlined 'the four horsemen' that can lead to marriage breakdowns -- criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

already wrote a lot but all four of these exist with reet and how she reacts to yuvi. hence it was inevitable. yuvi is miserable. like one tamil serial appa said, it isn't love that leads to relationship longevity but respect. if you don't have your wife's respect, it does not matter how much love you show. they will not appreciate you.

Hmm that's definitely an insightful opinion, Mango! I definitely do agree with you that the relationship/marriage is already in trouble if it has to reach till the point of cheating (or other serious marital problems for that matter).

But Mango, isn't cheating always a byproduct of an already crumbling marriage and not a starting point? There has to be some dissatisfaction, some narazgi for a person to step out on his/her spouse right. I can't think of a scenario where cheating is first step or a starting point that leads to problems between a couple.

Originally posted by: amrapali2

Hmm that's definitely an insightful opinion, Mango! I definitely do agree with you that the relationship/marriage is already in trouble if it has to reach till the point of cheating (or other serious marital problems for that matter).

yea we can dissect it more after a few more scenes.

I do have one post planned for papaG yuvi -- no surprise there. 🤣🤣

Originally posted by: sidnilove

But Mango, isn't cheating always a byproduct of an already crumbling marriage and not a starting point? There has to be some dissatisfaction, some narazgi for a person to step out on his/her spouse right. I can't think of a scenario where cheating is first step or a starting point that leads to problems between a couple.

that is a good question but I am not qualified to answer that in any way 😂 contrary to what some may think, I have no connection to psychology. 🤣 I just like reading about all sorts of stuff and today's random general knowledge gathering is about circadian rhythms .

anyway, back to your question -- like I mentioned there are 2 different ways I have seen it depicted in dramas. in some cases, cheating is shown as cultural and just human nature. you know how some argue that faithfulness is not a natural human trait or something. perhaps, it has simply got to do with dissatisfaction in the bedroom or the person's inability to appreciate and are bored. but if it is shown as a starting point, the wife is never shown as someone in the wrong.

if cheating is shown as a byproduct, then we will get a complex relationship chart where both parties are seen as contributing - this can be through negative communication and conflict style for example. basically it cannot be fixed just by removal of the 3rd party. in order for the marriage to heal, both need to understand the destructive patterns and figure out what needs to change. it can be a hit or miss because such dramas require a good understanding of human nature as well as great writing. otherwise, people completely miss why it occured.

I totally agree with you.

For me also cheating is cheating and It's a crime.

I have already said it that i don't like guys who play victims and get a free pass to EMA. Sorry i can't buy his justifications like his dad doesn't understand him,his wife is not supportive and all. These are very lame excuses to hv EMA.

Reet is selfish and problematic too. But till now you hv encouraged her behaviour. If she is wrong being selfish, thinking about her position, about her status and all, then Yuvraj is morally wrong cheating his pregnant wife.

Yuvraj has issues with papaG, then come out of his house n business and start your own. No he will never do that. He will be staying in his Dad's house,working in his company, but he will hv problems following his orders why?Adi also had issues with PapaG,he came out from the family and lived separately. What yuvraj is doing ,he is backstabbing about his father, cheating his wife. His deeds are morally, ethically not acceptable.

I don't know how Viraj Raghuvanshi's story will be shown in hindi version. But in the OG he was not at fault. Viaan will get to know about it later that his mom was actually forced his father to take such drastic step.

Ok Sony tv.

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