AB Sr's precondition:‘Definitely don’t want a wife who will work 9-5’ - Page 3

Originally posted by: MaxMayfield

This was the 70s and the 80s..a working woman was deeply looked down upon back then..it was not considered to be a nice thing for a woman to go out and work and make her own money..heck it was like that even in the 90s..it’s only after the tech era boom that now women in workplace is considered to be a normal thing..

Yes specially for showbiz where men touches and romances women (professionally though) it was some half century ago.

And both were from orthodox families.

Even Akshay stopped Twinkle even post 2000s.

He put that condition on Raveena as well as she openly stated that being a blunt person.

Twinkle herself was not interested in acting tbh. She is a top interior designer and earns in crores through design business and also writes books and columns. Akshay did not stop her from doing her design business or writing.

But I agree most of them were like this and Akshay had also made Raveena quit films and she blamed him for losing her peak years in hope to marry him.

Movies do not always have to be about romance or touching.

Jaya for eg could have done mom roles too or art films or done roles as social worker etc and not necessarily played wife or romantic lead roles. Jaya in general too used to do modest girl roles and covered up in films and outside too. She was never a glam doll wearing revealing clothes or doing latka jhatka dances or romantic touchy feely scenes.

In this sense I feel Sharmila is really fortunate that she did any role she wanted and even did photo shoots in bikini after marriage. Tiger Pataudi never stopped her.

Jaya is not from an orthodox family BTW. She herself reveals how her dad did not want her to marry or have kids rather wanted her to be independent and focus on own education and career and carve own identity as a priority first. He was opposed to her marriage to Amitabh too. She convinced him otherwise. I wonder if she regrets and thinks her dad was right.

Originally posted by: kingkhan22

Yes specially for showbiz where men touches and romances women (professionally though) it was some half century ago.

And both were from orthodox families.

Even Akshay stopped Twinkle even post 2000s.

He put that condition on Raveena as well as she openly stated that being a blunt person.

Exactly! And I honestly dont think Jaya even wanted to work after getting married..back then they were not that ambitious..those who think Jaya, Neetu etc were forced to leave the job they loved..no they dint..it was a choice..it was rather a preference..get married, settle down..have kids..run the house etc..

even today there were quite a few women who prefer to be a homemaker in traditional households or would want a DIL who is one..its a choice tbt..cant force a woman to work if she doesnt want to? I cannot fathom being financially dependent on anyone for money..but again its a choice?

Please. Kapoors were known to avoid women from working. Especially DILs and wives.

To claim Neetu stopped working on her own or never even did any side business etc only out of her own free will, is a stretch.

Back then women did not have choices whether to work or not. Being asked to be at home or choosing to be a homemaker are two different things.

Now Sridevi is someone who chose to be at home and quit films as she herself said she was tired of working non stop as she had been working since childhood and never went to school or college and had no life of her own. So she wanted to enjoy or slow down.

That is different compared to someone repeatedly putting conditions on you that he does not want to a working wife or he wants to see her anytime he comes home and she should serve him drinks or meals whenever he comes home at any time of day.

That hint is crystal clear pressure or ultimatum of expected behaviour.

I have myself seen men still bullying wives or dicating what they want or whether she should even do freelance job or not or discouraging her from studying or working lest she finds it hard to get a match or bashing even unmarried girls for being career oriented or blaming working women for problems.

To claim women do not work or remain dependent purely out of own choice, is clearly denial of obvious patriarchal bias in reality and sexist social pressure.

But showbiz is not a 9 to 5 job... The hours are erratic

Yes if both worked 9-5, it's easier to manage household than both working unpredictable schedules

And if he wanted a wife only working sporadically and was upfront about it, then why blame him

Why did she agree, if her career was so good and established and he was just an up and comer

BTW in those even Telephone was not that common in India. You have to wait for hours to make out of station phone calls

That's why I am amazed at Pataudi and Ayesha Sultana's marriage... She never stopped working

Originally posted by: atominis

Please. Kapoors were known to avoid women from working. Especially DILs and wives.

To claim Neetu stopped working on her own or never even did any side business etc only out of her own free will, is a stretch.

Back then women did not have choices whether to work or not. Being asked to be at home or choosing to be a homemaker are two different things.

Now Sridevi is someone who chose to be at home and quit films as she herself said she was tired of working non stop as she had been working since childhood and never went to school or college and had no life of her own. So she wanted to enjoy or slow down.

That is different compared to someone repeatedly putting conditions on you that he does not want to a working wife or he wants to see her anytime he comes home and she should serve him drinks or meals whenever he comes home at any time of day.

That hint is crystal clear pressure or ultimatum of expected behaviour.

I have myself seen men still bullying wives or dicating what they want or whether she should even do freelance job or not or discouraging her from studying or working lest she finds it hard to get a match or bashing even unmarried girls for being career oriented or blaming working women for problems.

To claim women do not work or remain dependent purely out of own choice, is clearly denial of obvious patriarchal bias in reality and sexist social pressure.

Neetu has also gone on record to say that she was working since she was a child star and she was tired of working...anybody who wanted to be a Kapoor Bahu knew what they are getting into atleast back then..

It was a matter of privilege to not be working and handling the house instead back in those times..lets be realistic..Gujarati, Punjabi, Sindhi, Marwari families did not like their women working..I can tell from my own experience how there is a totally different mindset towards idea of working in Gen X and Baby boomers and in Millennials and Gen Z.

and I know the problems of being a married working woman firsthand..like I said, I would never prefer to be a housewife..but thats my personal choice..

Sharmila has been luckiest. She belonged to elite families and always got her own way as she wanted. She was shooting even during pregnancy. Films or TV or politics, she did it all and Pataudis never stopped her. She even did bikini photo shoots after marriage and it was others who created scandal out of it. Her husband had no issues with it at all. They had done ads and public appearances together till early 2000s too. Always together as a couple. Secure and content and supportive of each other's work.

I am quite surprised why Sharmila did not support Amrita much. She was not fond of her. Amrita also went underground after marriage. Forget films, she did not even do ads or TV. She resurfaced only after divorce from Saif.

Sharmila seems much more accommodating towards Kareena though.

I know what problems married working women face or what was mindset of people towards working women.

But it does not mean all women want to be housewives themselves.

The problems are also due to family and society as well as total lack of adjustment or contribution from men who do nothing at home at all except few exceptions. Neither do in laws cooperate or atleast reduce their demands.

Why should women always yield to the pressure instead of bringing about change in system?

And if we cannot bring change we can atleast call out the system as wrong for what it really is.

So yes AB Sr was misogynist and it reflects in his marrying off Shweta so soon and not letting Navya enter showbiz. And speaking over women in all talk shows involving family and having Jaya, Shweta, Ash, Navya personally cook for and serve guests (even non family guests like diplomats) while men of house do nothing to attend to guests ,as revealed by Shweta and Navya themselves.

I see nothing wrong in calling out AB Sr for the regressive, male chauvinist he is.

Originally posted by: atominis

I know what problems married working women face or what was mindset of people towards working women.

But it does not mean all women want to be housewives themselves.

The problems are also due to family and society as well as total lack of adjustment or contribution from men who do nothing at home at all except few exceptions. Neither do in laws cooperate or atleast reduce their demands.

Why should women always yield to the pressure instead of bringing about change in system?

And if we cannot bring change we can atleast call out the system as wrong for what it really is.

So yes AB Sr was misogynist and it reflects in his marrying off Shweta so soon and not letting Navya enter showbiz. And speaking over women in all talk shows involving family and having Jaya, Shweta, Ash, Navya personally cook for and serve guests (even non family guests like diplomats) while men of house do nothing to attend to guests ,as revealed by Shweta and Navya themselves.

I see nothing wrong in calling out AB Sr for the regressive, male chauvinist he is.

He may be, he is probably..I dont know why I am trying to make assumptions anyway for someone I dont know about..:) I have participated aplenty in Bacchan bashing threads towards Aish..but I just dint see the similarity in Aish's situation and Jaya's..basis whatever is revealed about Bacchans in public..anyway if Jaya was repressed etc..what can be done now after all these years? In case of Aishwarya, she still has years left to give to celluloid..in case of Jaya..she rather not..she is behaving very loony now for last couple of years..

What are assumptions here when his statements are there to see and are indeed misogynist?

He was a hypocrite who casually said about himself that he never knew what class his kids studied in but keeps barking how he is happy Jaya chose to be at home or how he told Jaya even before marriage that he did not want a working wife or he wanted her to be around to serve him his meals and drinks whenever he comes home.

Or how he had gone barking on all channels before Abhi Ash wedding saying 'she is domesticated'. Many had bashed him then asking if Ash is a cow that he had to say she is domesticated?

Or how Jaya said she is quiet, she listens, she stands behind - about Ash in KWK. Or how Shweta reveals Jaya was far more strict for her compared to Abhishek and Shweta even interjected Navya and said I am not her friend (in an interview). And how Navya also said she is asked to take care of guests but Agastya is never.

So when all is there to see then how is it said we are making assumptions about Bachchans being regressive, misogynist, patriarchal?

I am not saying Ash is as repressed as Jaya. Ash has no business in this thread.

Jaya sure has lost it trying to win over this man and make it work with him.