Dilema - what to do?

pls pls pls read the whole thing, its short n to the point, thanks

hey guys i used 2 b an active member like 2 years ago :s but haven bin on this much since coz bin in relationship.

Basiaclly, story is:

met a guy at university, got 2gther with him at end of first year and am still sorta with him 2 years on, well actually itd b our aniversary in 2 weeks (2years) 😕

first, this guy never took the relationship seriously, we broke up n got 2gether 3 times (got rid of ppl shit stiring)... bin on properly since last year january n things started gettin serious. twist is he is diff religion, i dont hav a problem with tht but he duz.

neways, i bumped into my ex some time ago n he got sum 'galat-femi' about us 2. he wantd 2 chat 2 me about the issue but i was unable 2 take time out for 8 months n this became disastrous 4 our reltionship.

a year down he line we r arguin about every little thing n he wud always bring h past up n how i have never been able 2 take time out 4 him (coz i live wid my family, he duznt) n he says that im always agreeing on things but it never happens.

thing is, i care for him alot, more than mself actually, n cant see him in pain/down/frustrated/failing. he used 2 smoke but i convinced him2 stop. but hes started again recently n i keep tellin him 2 stop n he keeps sayin 2 me 'leave me alone let me do whatever i want 2 do, whats it 2 u' n itell him its coz i car 4 him but he thinks i dont, he thinks iv been messing around with his head n he wants out of this relationship 😭but is unable 2 break up with me coz me n him r so attatche 2 eachother n have become a habit for eachother. i'd rather he breakup with me than me break with him coz at least he wont be heart-broken.

hes left it 2 me what 2 do n doesnt want 2 leav it till after exams 2 disuss this coz i'll mess with his head. trouble is, if we break up now non of us will pass our exams with this on our mind. if we stay 2gether then i will keep caring 4 him n tellin him 2 stop ba habits, i cant help it i cant see him harming himself. so i honestly dont know what 2 do n jus feel like running away. my famy hav no idea about this. there r no friends i can talk to coz they r all common friends. what hould i do? what shud i say 2 him? i feel so bad that iv hurt him so much but its never been intentionally. n wen he gets frustrated he smashs everything in room etc n bags his head on he wall n i can see ha i dont know wha 2 do😭 imliterally feeling sick 🤢 pls give sme advice wha u think?

thaks

He kinda seems violence😕 r u sure this might be the right person for u??

I honestly feel u should sit and talk things out with him.

Once a relationship trust is broken by insecurity, theres no place for 100% trust again. The only thing left to do is expalin things to him and give it sometime but don't give up that easy, if things don't work out don't stress over it. At least 10 yrs from now u can always said u give it a shot

Off course it will hurt however everything happends for the best.

Good Luck

hi why don't you try talking to him from what u wrote someone might be stopping him from getting close to you and if you both are really serious u could tell ur poarents and if ur parents are okay with it u could give him the good news
hope everything goes well

Does he really smash things and bang his head on the wall when he is angry? 😕

Well, truth be told, I don't have any perfect advice, but what you could do is change your behaviour, like instead of asking him to stop his bad habits, you can become more loving, and giving and basically show you care by doing little things. 😳

Now if he doesn't appreciate that, then I think its HIS problem, not yours. He needs to try and solve his insecurity, the only way you can do this is by proper communicating and LISTENING to what he says. What you need to do is tell him to speak about how he feels as long as he wants, and that you'll listen until he says "he's finished" then you can explain yourself and tell him to properly listen, until you yourself say "I'm finished". Something like that, this gives people their free space, and gives you time to think about what you're gonna say. 😊

First answer these questions honestly:

1) do u seriosuly love him? {not crush, nto infaturation...}

2)does he seriously love you?

3) is he a nice man?

4)r u sure this is the guy u want to spend ur life with?

5) d'you think he will be able to look after u?

6) will ur parents agree to ur marriage o whatever?

Answer these questions trusthfully. and am sure, ull get ur answer....

right now: STUDY😛...HEHE..dnt let it affect ur education...

ohh yeah i suppose us eriosult need tot alk to soemoen about this...whom u noe...ull fell better.

u think ur parents will understand?try talkin to the lenier and understandign parent,.😛

all the best....prayin for u...am sure thigns will get mucy better,,,

wow! That guy is so violent sheeze! Girl focus on your studies. After the exams try talking to him a calm environment and express your feelings. Try take him for a coffee.