Originally posted by: SmittenKitten
I posted the other topic on love at first sight only because I wanted to get to this topic next.
I've been thinking of the other kind of love, when someone wins you over after pursuing you relentlessly. Let's say that he fell in love at first sight or at the very least, wanted to pursue you after your first encounter, but you only fell much later after some buildup even though you were always fond of the person.
Does that mean that the first person will always be the enamored one? and does that mean that the second person will always love the first person less? OR does it cease to matter who fell how and when after a while? I think I have a rough idea but I just wanted to know what people here think too.
If there's a Bollywood song/clip that reflects the second wala love, aka slow burn when someone grown on you over time.... or any other random clip where one incident/encounter causes an actor to see the other person in a new light, please feel free to share as well. Thanks!
@ Bold. That is NOT LOVE. That is HARASSMENT.
Only in movies do people manage to win someone over with relentless pursuit. In the real world pursuing someone who has turned you down is considered stalking and harassment. To the person being pursued, it is scary, traumatic, and can lead to mental health issues. In the rare case someone relents, it usually ends up being an unhealthy relationship.
Slow burn romances do happen. But they are not the result of relentless pursuit.
One of the biggest examples is Chandler and Monica. It is subtly hinted that Chandler is attracted to Monica. He's always comforting her when she's single or lamenting that she will never get married. But Monica has clearly placed him in the friendzone. She sees him as her funny friend and not boyfriend material. But other than being goofy when they go to Montauk - Chandler never pursues her. He's accepted his status. Ultimately, when they do get together it's because Chandler has been there for Monica as a friend when she needed him without expecting anything in return. Not because he has tried to woo her.
Mulder and Scully are probably the slowest burn. A lot of their interaction is pretty sterile and professional. Initially, they are mistrusting and annoyed with each other. Mulder is a believer and Scully a skeptic - causing a lot of personality friction. But over time it turns into mutual admiration and then romance. It's actually hard to say when Mulder and Scully fell in love - because they have subtle moments of vulnerability and intimacy over the years that aren't always romantic in the traditional genre sense. Their relationship also doesn't; subscribe to many conventional tropes.
There's Sue Heck and Sean Donahue. They're neighbors and grow up together. Sue finds him attractive but they barely interact let alone be friends. Instead, she dates and almost marries one of his best friends Darren. It is when they're both in college they start developing feelings for one another.
In my opinion, the slow-burn romance is love that will last. It is because two people have come closer over time getting to know each other. Love at first sight doesn't exist. It usually is infatuation or sexual attraction. It often burns bright and fast then fades. But it can become lasting through the slow burn as people take time to know each other. The whole concept of dating is to find that slow burn relationship that lasts. A lot of people are attractive and fun to be with. You can love them and deeply care for them. But it isn't always enough for a lifetime commitment. That's why people date till they find the right person. And every now and then it turns out to be a friend or a colleague or someone you've known all along.
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