Imlie Chat Club # 11, DT Reminder Note pg 55 - Page 108

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

I was one of those people who didn't care either way and was simply watching as timepass -- I actually disliked Mauli more than Nandini. 🤷‍♀️ I thought they didn't write the falling out of love or why he was unhappy in the marriage really clearly. So it just looked rather flaky when he fell in love -- many felt that he fell in love with her because of kheer and her dancing 😂. It wasn't clear what drew him to Nandini -- I felt that us viewers dissecting the drama had a better read than the writers. 😅 However, the actors were good and so it meant they elevated rather stupid material into better stuff.

I mostly disliked the guy the most... As you said, it wasn't really explained how he fell in love with nandini and out of love with mauli.

To me it looked like typical insecure man attracted to damsel in distress who needs (saving) him rather than a wife who is an independent woman earning more than him... (Fill in the rest for yourself)

He was like the fore-runner of patrakar sahab here.

Drama wise it was ok. But i couldn't digest the ema angle, i mean i can understand Ema if the person committing it is in a really bad relationship or with a bad person, otherwise na. Not my cup of tea even in drama.

Originally posted by: SundariP

I mostly disliked the guy the most... As you said, it wasn't really explained how he fell in love with nandini and out of love with mauli.

To me it looked like typical insecure man attracted to damsel in distress who needs (saving) him rather than a wife who is an independent woman earning more than him... (Fill in the rest for yourself)

He was like the fore-runner of patrakar sahab here.

Drama wise it was ok. But i couldn't digest the ema angle, i mean i can understand Ema if the person committing it is in a really bad relationship or with a bad person, otherwise na. Not my cup of tea even in drama.

I think rather than insecurity - it was about wanting to be needed.

I remember in another drama, we were discussing why some marriages fall apart and others continue even with cheating. So this older gentleman (retired) gave some interesting insight which has stayed with me. His observation was that the male character needed to indulge in his protective instinct -- for some men, that is a strong overriding instinct while for others, they prefer if they didn't have to do all the protecting because it actually stresses them out. For those men with a strong protective instinct, it isn't about whether the woman is earning more or independent but rather he needs to feel needed and useful in the relationship. Basically love has to be communicated in a way that both parties understand. Otherwise, a relationship can become stagnant where a man feels like an ATM machine or just some bystander in the house. -- We dont' often hear from male viewers but they often have very different perspective on the same drama. So that is the lens I watched the drama with - and much of Kunal's actions actually made sense -- however, the writing didn't have the nuance to match what they were trying to tell.

I don't think Kunal was like our babu saheb here -- for one, Kunal was very decisive and didn't fluctuate which was more shocking to viewers as well as the characters. He knew what he wanted and went after it with a single mind. My impression of Aditya is a super indecisive character who has no idea what he wants from life or from his heart.

Hmm.. the need part i get, and i can relate to most of what you said. But question then arises, if nandini was not in equation, would they have fallen apart still? Or continued in the relationship?

And i compared him to patrakaar on for his insensitivity towards mauli, like patrakar had first for imlie then for malini.

Originally posted by: SundariP

Hmm.. the need part i get, and i can relate to most of what you said. But question then arises, if nandini was not in equation, would they have fallen apart still? Or continued in the relationship?

And i compared him to patrakaar on for his insensitivity towards mauli, like patrakar had first for imlie then for malini.

I think the relationship would have continued like most marriages in our society -- basically people don't feel the need to change anything even if they are quietly unhappy. It does not mean they are happy but rather they don't feel the urge to change the status quo. Most people need super big reason to divorce.

My impression of the drama was that Kunal was unhappy as he felt like this doll in a house filled with women. Basically he wasn't really valued or appreciated or had a strong guiding voice in the house. He was a bystander. It wasn't that he had an ego that she was earning more but she didn't ask for his opinion or input when making huge financial decisions. He didn't contribute anything to the relationship emotionally. It was the same with his mother and grandmother.

Mauli I felt was a total idiot -- she was weirdly attached to Nandini. Even when Nandini had the good sense to say that she needed to leave, Mauli kept clinging to her like she had no other friend. Mauli was the type of person who shuts people out because she wants to do everything herself. There has to be a give and take -- a sort of equality. Mauli didn't have that. So that was the issue in the relationship.

Kunal was attracted basically to Nandini's courage to try and step out of the shadows of an abusive relationship. Once he decided, he basicallly went for it with zero qualms of what it would mean to his marriage or other relationships. He was totally prepared for the consequenes. It was a live or die kind of moment for him.

So very different from babu saheb in that sense -- this guy marries another and less than 10 episodes later, he has sent his wifey #? to jail while he proposes to wifey#1??? At least have some reason for the fluctuating -- he just seemed to go along with whichever woman massages his ego at that moment.

Hm... I see your point. It's been so long but i can relate to this narrative from memory, though i didn't interpret it that way while watching. Maybe if i watched this now I'd be able to see what you're saying.

Patrakar has not sent malini to jail, only her mother is in jail. He hasn't resolved shit before he started proposing to imlie again.

The actors really did their best but there were super big holes in the writing.

So I saw the character of Mauli as annoying and her equation with Nandini wasn't equal friendship. She was coming out of an abusive relationship and not only needed help but also a sense of confidence. Unfortunately, Mauli had this way of being patronising and condenscending without being aware of it. So rather than building her up, Nandini felt more of an idiot staying in their house and basically a burden.

Kunal on the other hand understood that Nandini needed to feel a sense of self-respect and confidence and so the way he handled her was different. I vaguely remember there was some scene at the bank where Nandini freaks out because she can't even sign -- the way he handled it was so gentle but also really confidence boosting. So that was why she fell for him -- it was his kindness.

So the drama was trying to say that we can help others but it is also important to help people in a way that doesn't make them feel small or stupid. Mauli unfortunately didn't see how her help was being perceived which means in some ways, it was inevitable she was rejected later. It was more obligation/debt rather than a true thanks from Nandini whereas she genuinely felt grateful towards Kunal instead.

So that is the kind of complexity that was happening in the story and it needed really nuanced writing in terms of character graph. The writing was stupid and it didn't match the intent they wanted to communicate. The actors truly did their best though. That was my impression of the drama.

As for this drama, I totally forgot that Malini is not in jail. So where did she disappear to then? I had to facepalm that he had just gotten married a few weeks before and already he was proposing and no one, I repeat, no one in that family thought that was bizarre. 🤦

ok.. that's a different approach, like i said i might be able to see these details now, which i might've missed before...

and anyways Itv is not known for strong writing.... it fails many shows. sitara shows specially because of channel interference for trps. other channels give more creative liberty

Originally posted by: SundariP

ok.. that's a different approach, like i said i might be able to see these details now, which i might've missed before...

and anyways Itv is not known for strong writing.... it fails many shows. sitara shows specially because of channel interference for trps. other channels give more creative liberty

True! Back to our original discussion, I am wondering if the original material of Imlie was elevated by the acting and so the problem areas were ignored? Or if it had nuance in its writing which means it was more complex? Based on the sketch of what we know happened, it is difficult for me to tell how the first season and adili was so loved. 😅 I am going to go with strong acting chops instead.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

True! Back to our original discussion, I am wondering if the original material of Imlie was elevated by the acting and so the problem areas were ignored? Or if it had nuance in its writing which means it was more complex? Based on the sketch of what we know happened, it is difficult for me to tell how the first season and adili was so loved. 😅 I am going to go with strong acting chops instead.

it was both in parts i guess...

the story as a whole is distasteful, but scenes were mostly well executed, and acting as well as cinematography is top notch

Originally posted by: SundariP

it was both in parts i guess...

the story as a whole is distasteful, but scenes were mostly well executed, and acting as well as cinematography is top notch

Makes sense. The cinematography and framing of scenes is really great to watch...

On different note, I am actually surprised that I remember so much about Silsila. It was very close to my bedtime and there were many times where I literally fell asleep while watching. Maybe I just remember my impession because I had a different read on the drama than most and I felt sorry for the actors who were trying so hard. 🤷‍♀️