Chapter 33 I Need You
"Tu Mini ko ek bar rokega bhi nahi Neil?" Mickey asked Neil as he was getting ready for his performance.
"Jaise mere rokne se kuch fark pad jayega. Wo pehli bhi mujhe chhodke chali gayi thi aur ab phir se ja rahi hai. Usko koi fark nahi padta...kisi ko koi fark nahi padta main jeeyu ya maru." Neil replied trying his best to appear as sober as possible because he was high on drugs. Ever since he got to know that Mini has her tickets booked and she is all set to leave tonight, he has been drinking and smoking weed. He knew he had refused to talk to Mini and they had still not forgiven each other but he thought Mini would stick around for some time, he didnt expect she will leave this soon. Once the news sink in, he was shattered. His ego was holding him from going to her and stop her while his heart was desperately pleading to soothe its pain by stopping her. In between this fight, Neil was miserable.
"Ye kya haal bana rakha hai apna? Kuch hi minutes mein tumhe stage par jaana hai. What are you doing Neil? Main kab tak tumhari side lekar tumhe support karta rahunga?" Mickey asked in frustration.
"Then leave...sab ja rahe hain...tum bhi chale jao mujhe chhodkar." Neil replied barely trying to stand straight, he couldnt feel ground under his feet, his head was felt heavy. His introduction was made and finally the moment came where he went to the stage.
Crowd cheered for their favorite rockstar. The thunderous applaus, the cheering was ear deafening. Neil saw the crowd, the frequent shouting of fans, "We love you", "You are superstar", "You are great" was reaching his ears. At that moment he saw immense love and respect for him. This was the moment he lived for all these years. Except when he was on stage he didnt think his life was worth living, he didnt remember most of it. But this crazy love of his fans gave him adrenaline rush to somehow continue breathing, existing. After Mini, his music was only thing which was holding him together but today when he witnessed one of those special moments on stage he felt nauseated.
Yash's confession started flooding his mind. All these days when he was trying to act brave in front of Mini, not accepting his mistakes, refusing to bow down, pretending that whatever happened between them cant be changed, finally caught up with him and he broke down on stage in front of all his fans.
"Stop...Stop it...stop shouting...cheering...I am not worthy of it. I am a pathetic loser, a failure....I failed as a son, failed the love of my life...I am a f***king loser." Neil shouted and the crowd went silent. All were shocked to hear his words. People knew he was crazy, they kind of liked his madness, his attitude. His tantrums, his acts of breaking laws, his brawls, his whole negative image used to add to his x factor. To them, he was this badass hero and heros cant break like this in front of everyone.
"Hey! Stop whining like a kid, will you? Just start the performance." One random guy shouted after few seconds of pin drop silence.
"Yeah! We want song. We want song." Soon people started chanting not giving a damn to Neil's thoughts. This enraged him more.
"I said shut up!" Neil roared and banged the guitar on the floor breaking it into pieces. Next he moved towards the other equipments and started throwing them away and smashing them one by one. Mickey tried to stop him but he pushed him away. Other band members stayed away to avoid getting involve in any of his dramas, there was enough damage done by him already, they didnt want to be a part of it.
"Have you gone mad?", "God! He is a psycho", "Stop your drama, start the performance, we have brought tickets." People started shouting.
"Shut the f**k up, you want performance right...mindblowing performance right...I will give exactly what you deserve...." Neil shouted and before anyone could guess what he was upto or anyone could stop him, he pulled his zipper down and pissed on the stage on all of the broken instruments.
All were stunned. People couldnt say anything for few minutes. Their silence annoyed him more. So he continued his rant.
"Yeah! This what you get when you idolize wrong person in your life. Now take this shit and just go to hell everyone...I am done with it...with you all. Go f**k yourself." Neil finished with showing middle finger on their faces.
A brawl set out when some people jumped on stage and attacked Neil, some people started breaking furniture, seats while others were in a hurry to go out from this madness. Soon police arrived and arrested few people together with Neil and took them to police van. Neil was about to sit in the van when he collapsed, foam started coming from the corner of his mouth and he was not responding.
Mickey rushed to his help, he helped in shifting Neil into the ambulance. He sat beside him, holding his hand, he panicked when he heard doctor saying it seems the case of drug overdose and they were losing the pulse.
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"Are you people out of your mind? Neil is in hospital and all you guys care about is your performance. I cant believe you are our friends." Mickey was shocked when other band members arrived at hospital. He thought they were here to ask about Neil but they came to inform him that they have decided to disband and not only this, while Mickey was busy in admitting Neil to the hospital, others had worked out legal contract also and they were here to talk on terms of disbanding.
"We have finally made right decision Mickey. You are out of your mind to still support Neil. What he did today, there is no going back from it. He is all over news, people are hating what he did, social media is full of hate/negative posts. People aint going to forget this anytime soon. Neil's career is over, he is over and we dont want to disappear into oblivion with him." Preet told without any hint of guilt in her voice.
"But...but he is our friend. We have to..." Mickey started again but Bobby completed his sentence first, "Chhod yaar Mickey, waise bhi humne pehle hi bol diya tha ki agar phir se kuch drama hua toh hum sath kaam nahi kar payenge. Main to kehta hoon tu kyu apna time waste kar raha hai Neil ke peechhe...tu bhi aa ja hamare sath."
"There is no point of discussion on this matter. Jab tum logo ne mann bana hi liya hai to...give me the contract papers...Neil ke hosh mein aate hi main usse dikha dunga." Mickey said dejectedly and took the papers from them.
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"Come on, sis, we have to catch a flight. We are getting late." Arya called Mini when she found her once again in front of tv repeatedly watching Neil's news.
"Yes...yes...just one minute, I think they will give update on the matter aur ye...Mickey bhi...pata nahi phone kyu nahi utha raha...itna sab ho gaya aur...." Mini stood up from her seat feeling frustrated.
"Toh tumhe kya fark padta hai? You have said it clearly that its all over between you two...kya fark padta hai Neil jiye ya mare..." Arya asked sarcastically.
"Arya!" Mini shouted on hearing her reply.
But Arya continued to rile her more, "Dekho, Neil ne wo sab stage par karke apna career khud hi spoil kar liya, band bhi tut gaya, uski life mein pehle hi kya kam mayoosi thi jo ab ye sab...kher isse achha to hoga ki wo marr hi jaye..isse chutkara toh milega....aur actually phir hume usse udhar liye hue paise bhi wapas nahi karne padenge." Arya laughed mirthlessly and before she could have chance to take a proper look at Mini, she had received a tight slap across her face.
Mini was fuming in anger, "Did you really say all those things for Neil?Can you hear yourself, how can you be so selfish Arya, that man saved your life. He is all alone facing his ruthless fate and hanging between life and death and all you can think of is how good it will be if he really dies!"
Arya smiled amidst the tears, she caressed her cheek where Mini has slapped her, "Do you need another proof about how much you still love him? Why are you still waiting here, run to the hospital."
Mini understood why Arya said all those things. She finally gave up her pretense, she knelt down and cried her heart out. For the first time she didnt hide her tears from Arya, let them running loose like some flood gates were open.
"Arya couldnt see her sister in that state, She came and hugged her. She made her stand on her legs and supported her, "Go sis, dont waste any more time. Already you two have wasted enough time. Go, not only because he needs you but because you need him too."
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Mickey was standing outside ICU room when he saw Mini coming there followed by Arya.
"Mini...you? I thought you left." Mickey asked then looked at Arya trying to understand what Mini doing here, has she come out of sympathy or she accepted her feelings. Arya smiled and nodded her head in yes gesturing that latter thought was correct and like after the ages Mickey sighed in relief.
"He is out of danger but he is unconscious. Doctor says he will be shifted to normal room from icu once he wakes up. You can meet him if you want." Mickey just finished informing and he noticed Mini was already by Neil's side.
Mini held Neil's hand and pressed it tightly in her hold to assure him that she is here, everything is gonna be fine. She looked at all sorts of machine attached to his body and she couldnt help but cry at his condition. Her Neil, her handsome Neil who used to sweep her away from her feet with his one smile, now lying here almost lifeless, gone all pale, his eyes were closed but dark under eye circles were telling her that he hasnt slept well in ages, his heart beats were monitored by machines but she could tell he wasnt at peace since ages. Unknwoingly her hand went up her own chest to feel her own heartbeats, they were telling the same story. They both have suffered without each other, suffered enough.
Mini wiped away her tears and sat down beside his bed. She caressed his face as she vowed to end their sufferings. As if Neil felt her presence, he opened his eyes and found the person he was pining for all these years. Leaving behind all his pretense, ego, pain, pride he uttered those words to hold on the last ray of hope in his life, "Mini, dont leave me. I need you."
Mini's tears couldnt stop when she heard his voice and she nodded her head frantically to let him know she thinks the same, "I am not going anywhere, I need you too."
Neil closed his eyes again but this time she could tell he slipped into peaceful slumber. Soon he was shifted into a private room and Mini sent Arya back with Mickey as she decided to stay with Neil and look after him.
Neil was asleep but sleep was still miles away from Mini's eyes. She knew she got back her love but now will have to fight to make him what he really was, not a loser, but a icon, a hero, a rockstar. But she was ready to put up any fight to make things ok like they were once between them. She sat on his bed and put his head on her lap, she started caressing him as she got lost in thoughts.
Mini was sitting on the bed, looking outside the window at the sky, it was moonless night yet stars were twinkling as if marking their presence. Her hands were caressing the hair of her beloved who was lying on the bed with his head on her lap and her mind was wandering through the past memories...memories which were full of their love, cute fights, the first meeting and that day when they parted....... that last kiss they had.
After remembering all this she let out a deep sigh and looked down to find Neil..her love, asleep peacefully, a smile crept on her beautiful face and she thought that- how life has changed. She caressed his hair again lovingly, "I had never imagined our future will be like this.....I dont know how cynical I have become and look at you.....I doubt do you even remember your older self.... but I am still happy as you are with me although our fight against all odds has just started but I promise you....I will win it....we will together win it. I will never leave your side and will always love you. No matter what come in our way our love shall over come all hurdles and we'll be together'..forever....even if you never be able to normal again....you'll be here always....in my heart...forever." Mini said pointing towards her heart.
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to be continued.....
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