Akshara Goenka: She borne thorns but she is the rose - Page 3

Originally posted by: ishqdinoorhai9

Kaise dundho aapko... Chode nahi aapne koi Nishan

Ye dil dhadka aapke wajah se tha

Mujhe iss duniya mein laa kar

Mujhe Akshara Goenka banaya aapne tha

Jis din aapka saath choota

Uss din hua har koi dooja

Jise laad pyaar se bada kiya

Usko Prem mila adhura

Jis laad pyaar se bada kiya

Uska hua na koi apna

Apno se bhare ghar mein

Ek kone mein chhip par roti hun

Dard mein ho kar bhi

Sirf muskati hun

Jaanti hun dard baatna chahiye tha

Par unko bhi toh samjhna chahiye tha

Maangi hun ki unke gale se lag kar rona chahiye tha

Par unko bhi toh meri jhoothi muskurahat ko pehchaan na chahiye tha

Sach hai ki mujhe khud ke liye khada hona chahiye tha

Par Maa-Paa aapko bhi toh mere saath hona chahiye tha

Do pal aur thehar jaate

Kuch hasi khushi ke pal apni Akshu ke saath aur beeta lete

Do pal aur thehar jaate

Mujhe bhi gale se laga kar chup kara dete

Kuch pal ke liye hi laut aao

Apni Akshu ke liye laut aao

They were supposed to be her shield but all they are now are twinkling stars. And all 'their' star could do is look up as she finds solace in the lit night sky.

*****

Rishton ke kuch alag naam

Unse rishte todun toh todun kaise

Jinhone paal pos kar bada kiya

Unse naata chodu toh chodu kaise

Jinhone roti, kapda aur makaan diya

Adhura hi sahi par mujhko pyaar diya

Muskurahat jo di unhone

Uska bhi toh karz chukana tha

Sar par haath phera jinhone

Unka saath bhi toh nibhana tha

Toh aasun chupaye apne aur muskayi main

Jinhone khushi se gale lagaya

Unke liye waqt ke tarazoo se pehle badi hui main

Maine uska pyaar paane ki bohot koshish ki

Uska diya har vish, main amrit samajh kar pi

Uski khushi mein khush aur

Dukh mein dukhi Hui main

Phir bhi uske liye main

Uske gulaab si zindagi mein

Sirf kaaton ka roop rahi

Uski galtiyon par parda daal daal

Uski main dhaal bani

Phir bhi apni Aaru ke liye main

Sirf Akshara Goenka rahi

Jis se uska rishta sirf naam ka hai

Aur judaav sirf khoon ka hai...

She needed them to be their for her but she felt like a liability whose pot of favours are getting filled... So to return it, she grew up.... Before time!

*****

Aadat

Toh sab ke khushi ke liye

Apne baabul ka aangan choda maine

Apni Aaru ki muskurahat ke liye

Apne har dukh ko chupaya maine

Nahi usse fark nahi padta hai

Par muskurane se dard mujhe thoda kam lagta hai

Main dur hui sabse

Khud ko khud hi sambhala maine

Girkar uthna aur uthkar chalna

Sab kuch seekha maine

Kuch yun hi guzre teen saal

Aur wapas lauti main apne shehar

Jhuth ke neev par wapas aayi thi

Maine apna har dukh bhula kar

Uski khushi mein jhoomne aayi thi

Par shayad main aaj bhi sirf uske liye kaanta hi thi

Toh ek baar phir, dehleez laangi maine

Apne har dukh ko chupaya maine

Kyunki seekha hai ki parivar se badhkar kuch nahi

Aur apne vaade se mukarna seekha hi nahi

Aankhiri saas mein vaada kiya tha maine apni Sirat Maa se

Ki dungi Aarohi ka saath apne aankhiri saans Tak

Nahi chodungi uss ka haath main aakhiri dum Tak

Isliye uski galat mein bhi haan mein haan milaya maine

Kyunki kisi ne ye galti hai meri, mujhe bataya hi nahi

*****

Darmiyaan

Toh alag hui, chup chaap sab kuch sahi

Darr se saamna akele hi ki

Chuppi mein main khud se mili

Sangeet mein main uss se mili

Aur duniya ke shor ke sannate mein

Hum mile

Abhimanyu aur Akshara mile

Wo pehli nazar ka takrana

Aur uska mujhe ek takk tak na 😳

Mujhe uss lamhe ka, har ek pal

Bohot ache se yaad hai

Kyunki uss pehli nazar mein kuch aisi baat thi

Ki maano aaj tak har nazar

Uss ek nazar ke saamne phiki padi

Uss se mil kar kuch aisa laga

Ki maano anjaano ke shehar mein koi apna mila

Banjare ko kisi ne ghar diya ❤️q

Ab milna julna aur takrana hone laga tha

Chalte chalte baatein karna aam ho gaya tha

Usko dekhte hi Mera bas yun hi muskurana

Aur meri dhadkane jo uske aas paas hone se hi tez ho jaati thi

Mujhe ek naya ehsaas dila rahi thi

Bas meri jhuki palkon ko aur gaalon ki lalao ko

Naam dena baaki tha

Mujhe bas mujhe uss se mohabbat hai ye quboolna baaki tha

Ab uss se mohabbat ho bhi kyu na

Wo anjaan ho kar bhi apna tha

Mera kuch na ho kar bhi sirf mera tha 😭

Maine khud ke liye ladna jaana hi nahi

Aur usko mere liye khade hone ke bawajood

Maano aur Kuch aata Hi nahi

Wo peshe se bohoton ke dil sambhalta hai

Par kehta hai

Uske dil ki marham sirf main hun

Wo sirf chhup chhup ke pyaari pyaari baatein nahi karta

Waqt aane par a-e-laane ishq bhi karta hai

Wo mujhe har pal ye batlata hai ki kaise main uski poori duniya hun

Aur main nahi toh wo kuch bhi nahi hai

Par aisa thodi hota hai!

Waqt toh nahi rukta kisi ke liye

Sab aage badh hi jaate hai

Kyunki koi nahi marta kisi ke thukrane se

*****

Ab toda dil humne toh bawal kya kare

Meri har na ne uss se thoda aur toda hoga

Kya uske toote Dil ke tukde ne usse tatola hoga

Mere tootne ke aawaz pahuchi thi uss tK

Iss liye toh shayad wo vaari tha mere na par

Apna sab kuch kurbaan karne ke liye taiyaar hua

Dhaal ki tarah wo mere izzat ke liye khada raha

Koi aanch na aaye mere daaman mein

Isiliye apna maan sammaan sab tyaag diya

Par mohabbat toh main bhi karti thi na?

Kaise dekhti usko apna sab kuch mujh par lutate huye

Isiliye maine bhi uska saath diya

Par phir apne shabdon se maine uss par vaar kiya

Toote uske dil ke tukdo ko maine hi choor choor kiya

Ek baar nahi har baar usse na kaha

Maine hi joda tha aur maine hi todne ka naam liya

Aur jab maine izhaar-e-ishq kiya

Tab thi uski aankhein moondi

Usne toh maut se bachakar pehli saans li

Woh bhi mere naam ki li

Aur maine apne jhooth se uski wo saans bhi cheen li

Chubhti hai meri khud ki khamoshi mujhe

Par kya karun

Apne vaade se kaise hatun?

Jisko har galti par parda daala hai

Uska hi kaise main pardafaash karun?

Aur bacchi toh main bhi thi na?

Toh kya hua agar waqt se pehle badi hui main?

Agar main galti kar rahi thi Aaru ki galti chupa kar

Toh kyu nahi Toka kisi ne meri galti par?

Par galti ko kya dusri galti se Dhaka jaa sakta hai?

Wo mere liye pyaar mein barbaad hone ko taiyar tha

Aur kismat ka khel dekho

Ek aise mod par aa khadi hun

Ki jhooth bol kar

Sach chupakar

Main jo thi uska savera ab wahi hun jisne diya hai usko andher apna

*****

I am not sure how it turned out to be... And I am sorry if it's below your guys expectations :) No tomatoes please. It's too expensive 😊 healthy criticism is always welcome 🤗

I was expecting itsy bitsy poems, yeh tho Mahabharat jitni lambi Hain High high😲

@Bold Haha I’m so obsessed with Abhira that I was thinking Abhi said this line and then it hit me.

Apno se bhare ghar mein ... roti hunn - I feel bad for Akshara, I will try not to bash her now 😭

Kyunki seekha hai ki parivar se badhkar kuch nahi - Yaar someone tell her ab Abhi he uski dunya, parivar jaye tel

It’s sucks that I can’t analyse every line like I can with essays but the ones highlighted in red are touching. It’s as if you write for the show because you know what the character is going through. Poems always make everything appear beautiful and this was beautiful. It must be hard to make everything rhyme yet keep it well knitted.

This is beautiful!!!

Originally posted by: Mushfika_01

Noor, you probably dont even know what you have in you. every single detail in this writing made me ask only one question: how did you even some up every single thing, from akshu's birth to how she had to break abhi's heart and ensured to give it a poetic touch? It's so easy to write paragraphs after paragraphs on what akshu went through, analyzing her character and justifying the circumstances but doing the same thing with poetry is a task on its own and going by your age, i feel like it should honestly be illegal for someone to write something this deep and beautiful.

Mush, to be very very honest I don't know where to start from. What should I probably say that will suffice the love and emotions I always feel when I read this comment?

As a person, I guess who has her own share of pains, smiles, gains and losses, makes me write. I started at the age of 9 and my first poem do resonate with Akshu here... So will share-

Sab ke saath rahun,

Ya akele rahun..

Samajh nahi aata..

Phool ki tarah khili rahun

Ya murjhai hui si..

Samajh nahi aata..

Kehte toh sab hai ki,

Apni ho, par maanta koi nahi..

Unse rishte nibhaun,

Ya unhe jaane dun?

Samajh nahi aata

And when I think of Akshara, I see this little girl getting to know that the person she is calling her mother till now is not the one who gave birth to her and for 9 years no one took her mother's name... The emotional wreck she have been through...

The confusion of having a toxic company or let them go because it's easier said than done... They are the only company she have...

In the show, they don't really explore akshu's past and how the absence of her parents had shaped her life.

Actually mein and that's where my whole anger on writers stem from... We don't need a third angle... The type of scars she and Abhimanyu have is enough bro build, destroy and re build the love story...

but this post did, and rather phenomenally at that. from the day she had lost her mom she did get the love but it had always been halfhearted ones and this is so so true. regardless of what the show shows, it is a given that they have been unfair to akshara. how she had always bottled up her tears, emotions and every single heartache, as you said:

Apno se bhare ghar mein

Ek kone mein chhip par roti hun

Dard mein ho kar bhi

Sirf muskati hun

Jaanti hun dard baatna chahiye tha

Par unko bhi toh samjhna chahiye tha

Maanti hun ki unke gale se lag kar rona chahiye tha

Par unko bhi toh meri jhoothi muskurahat ko pehchaan na chahiye tha

this ^^^!!! indeed noor, indeed!!! she didn't share because she felt neglected but what about her own family? they should have understood her too. why should it be her taking the first step, especially when she has gone through so much? i love the fact that you have touched upon this fact in your poetry, the unspoken fact that had always been there, just not explicitly been said, you said it and rightly so.

I just wish she gets a person, purely platonic who tells her that if taking care of own self is called selfish than we better we...

And you know, jab har baar hum hi samjhne ka kaam karne lagte hai na toh we ask ourselves, why only us have to understand? We expect others to atleast notice the fake smiles... Kyunki ye chiz humse expect ki jaati hai nd hum karte hai. No one is asking for them to know the reason but to take the first step... But in Goenkas house they walk over her sadness, crushing her happiness and never look into her eyes which scream of help. And that will always hurt.

Phir bhi apni Aaru ke liye main

Sirf Akshara Goenka rahi

Jis se uska rishta sirf naam ka hai

Aur judaav sirf khoon ka hai...

what a line!! for real, despite all the sacrifices she has done, she has always been akshara goenka for arohi and never akshu. the details of her grieving over everything she did for arohi, be it covering up for her or giving her leeway and still being a stranger to her was beautifully described

The line which shows her love and how unloved she is.

and then comes the aadat part - you know, with the power of your words, you can make anyone who despises akshu's character, really see where akshara is coming from, and understand the root of her sacrifices. we all know it was for the seerat maa's promise but the way you put it into words in your poetry is something else. it's like they have the power to make you sit and walk through the whole thing calmly so that you can actually see what's going on. i loved that 'Aadat' part a lot.

I am glad you liked it... The love Akshara have but shower on the wrong person who does not even respect her forget love irks me but I understand her needs for acceptance there.... But I just don't want her to walk on that path toh I call her out...

And I felt, like yeah my voice are not reaching her, but she needs it. She does not know what she is doing right and where she goes wrong (the whole part). The day she get someone who holds her hand and pulls her back when she decides to walk on a path which will only burn her.

the abhira parts were amazing and when i came to this line:

Kyunki uss pehli nazar mein kuch aisi baat thi

Ki maano aaj tak har nazar

Uss ek nazar ke saamne phiki padi

it really sent me back to that scene where she topples, on her way to make her great fall in the water when she feels him wrapping his arm around her waist and when she opens her eyes, that look in abhi's face - that look oh god, i don't need to watch that scene again to remmber what that look was, it's still etched in my heart and your wrds just painted that picture infront of my eyes all over again.

Their love story is one beautiful story. Is not it? They both have a connection which runs deeper than just love at first sight... It's recognisation and connecting to each other through pain aur dard ke rishte se aur kaunsa hi rishta gehra hota hai. It's them knowing that they have finally got their shore after surviving continuous harsh waves

this comment is getting super lengthy but i just wanted to mention this last bit:

You know I could read this even if it turns out to be a length of one shot ❤️ because. i love them very much

Wo mere liye pyaar mein barbaad hone ko taiyar tha

Aur kismat ka khel dekho

Ek aise mod par aa khadi hun

Ki jhooth bol kar

Sach chupakar

Main jo thi uska savera ab wahi hun jisne diya hai usko andher apna

this part and especially the last line in bold, bro this line takes the cake! what a line noor, idk how you come up with these but this one line just sums up everything that's been going on ever since she had rejected abhimanyu. the highlight of the whole poetry hands down.

Well, to answer your question of how did I come up with this, you remember your favourite part from Abhi poetry... Ek pari... Khwabon se sundar aayi...

In that, I have written one line - wo mere andher mein Naya savera ban kar aayi thi

And when I saw the episodes, is not she the ons who is gifting Aarohi to him? Toh like that.

this was another masterpiece noor. and i enjoyed reading it as usual. idk why you keep saying that it's probbaly not up to the mark but i promise to me it couldn't have been better for me. May be people haven't really come across to your post or didn't get the time to read it yet or that it got lost in all the incoming new posts but you shou;d tag the people who you think love reading your poetry because if they haven't seen it, they are definitely missing out. I can tell how much effort and thinking you have put into this from the depth and quality of this piece so don't let it go to waste.❤️

I know but you know I was upset... Well, some lines did not synced well with me that's why I said that. I don't know but yeah, I did felt bad when there were no comments for two days but then your comment really made my day ❤️

Can't wait to read what you else have in store for us 🤗

Mush, like you said it's easier to write paragraphs but hard to write poetries... The same way , it's easier to review a story then a poem. And I say this being a poet myself... But your reviews are like icing on the cake... It's just makes the poetry look a lot more beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for all of the wonderful words of appreciation you write to me... I keep coming back to these comments in my low moment and tell myself, I would have written something good to deserve a review like this...

A big hug to you 🤗🤗🤗

Originally posted by: Silveraliax

I was expecting itsy bitsy poems, yeh tho Mahabharat jitni lambi Hain High high😲

Well, I was hoping for a small poem too but when I started writing, I just went with the flow and it turns to be a mini ride to their life story through my pov... Yipeee 🥳

@Bold Haha I’m so obsessed with Abhira that I was thinking Abhi said this line and then it hit me.

I mostly imagine these lines in Harshad voice too... It help me connect to the pain a lot more

Apno se bhare ghar mein ... roti hunn - I feel bad for Akshara, I will try not to bash her now 😭

It's okay... What she is doing now is wrong and even I call her out for that

Kyunki seekha hai ki parivar se badhkar kuch nahi - Yaar someone tell her ab Abhi he uski dunya, parivar jaye tel

One ishara and Abhi is going to move mountains for her... Someone tell her pls..

It’s sucks that I can’t analyse every line like I can with essays but the ones highlighted in red are touching. It’s as if you write for the show because you know what the character is going through. Poems always make everything appear beautiful and this was beautiful. It must be hard to make everything rhyme yet keep it well knitted.

It's okay... This is really more than enough... Ask me how hard it's to analyse se poem and write a review on them.. I myself get confused as a writer... Because I either end up writing with them or explaining it ☺️

I am just glad it does not feel distorted to you and I am more than happy to know that I did justice to her character ❤️❤️ to read this is itself a gift 🎁

Originally posted by: DiscoDhokla

This is beautiful!!!

Thank you so much 🥰🥰 I am glad you liked it ❤️

Originally posted by: etherealbeauty

I am not a poem person but very beautiful 😊

This really really means a lot to me ❤️

Originally posted by: reeyacute

Hayeee!!!!

Madam thorn hi bear karna chahti hai

Abhimanyu can give her a life of betterment but alas

I agree but to take the step she needs courage and support which none of the Goenkas have ever provided her... Sadly

Originally posted by: Eternized_Blues

leh! What happened here? I am waiting.

And I am waiting for the review now

Originally posted by: ChhalkiSyaahi

Akshara is really going through a lot.

She is but she chose the path... 😒

Originally posted by: Eternized_Blues

What an excellent way to sum up the story of Abhira till date.

Let me edit this

Edit is what you have to do 😆