When they reconcile I really hope R says something a long the lines of " I know I've promised you before, but this time it will never be broken. This time I get it. This time I actually learned."
Because at the end of the day he still lied for too long. He lashed out at her, etc. And that is just as hurtful in a marriage. I want him to be mature and instead of desperately promising things, I want him to own up to his part in this mess. How he made it worse with his bad choices and how his inability to handle his emotions gets him into trouble.
... Am I asking for too much?

