Do you guys agree with Mumtaz's take on Boney/Sridevi? - Page 11

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

It was a different era. Dharmendra and Prakash married when they were 19. She was a simple woman who didn’t want to face the world alone and the social stigma of a divorcee. He respected her wishes and converted to Islam to marry Hema Malini.

This is what Prakash said in an interview once -

“I am learning to stand on my own. But why should I protect myself when I have my husband to protect me? I don't care what the world may say about the kind of relationship I share with my husband. Where I am concerned I know that my husband is protecting all of us. He comes home every day and spends time with the children. I don't say that he comes home for me. But what is important is that he does come home."

She even defends him for marrying Hema Malini by saying anyone would get attracted to her and people have no right to point fingers at their arrangement.

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

The studies I mentioned actually looked at all kinds of family situations. Children are better off when parents are genuinely happy together, obviously. But they're better off when parents are together regardless is what was found. Not simply psychologically. This held true in terms of their eventual financial stability and even run-ins with the law.

Moreover, we're still talking about adult romantic escapades, aren't we? Yeah, there will be resentment, pain, etc, when forced to actually do your duty when you'd rather be with someone else. But better the adults modify their behavior than damage their children's lives.

Sorry, but what is the need to personally attack me for stating facts? First you termed it a moralistic argument. When told it is actually proven by research, you claimed people don't look at data when making such decisions. But even within this quoted post, you contradicted yourself and said they know it already but make their decisions anyway. You don't like the conclusion of said research, so you attack the messenger. For saying that kids needs should be put first in the context of a discussion about cheating, I was first *high-handed* and *entitled*, now *condescending.*

For the record, I'm not telling anyone how to live their lives. But facts don't vanish because some people try to wish them away. Condoning bad behavior to mollycoddle the fragile egos of selfish adults is not something anyone needs to do. You can blame me or society for many things I'm sure, but not for that.

Once again: none of it applies to abusive (emotionally, physically, financially, whatever other form) marriages.

ETA: Now I'm wondering what would've happened if Prakash Kaur instead told Dharam dearest to take their 4 kids and go live with Hema and let Biwi #1 start a new life instead. 😆 The true lovers surely would've been all right with it. I mean, since they weren't actually being selfish, merely helpless in the face of forces beyond their control.

Originally posted by: SmittenKitten

I personally know some uncles with daughters my age who married a much younger woman and started a new family of their own. Man, I feel like the deck is seriously stacked against women in so many ways when I see men being able to do that while his first wife obviously isn't gonna have another love in her life.

Exactly. Dharam took advantage of two women though I don't have any respect for Hema either. She had plenty of options - she didn't need to crash into someone else's life and family. People keep making excuses like love but I'm sorry I just don't buy it. Love comes and goes, man. You don't die without any particular person. People are able to move on with their life even after the death of a loved one and these women can't move on from a married man?? Puhleez.

The fact is that Dharam even at this age continues to live with his first wife and family. I have seen interviews from his sons and daughters-in-law and they all live in a joint family. If Dharam really didn't care for her and wanted to be with Hema, he easily could have. His sons are old enough to take care of their mother. It's not like she was going to be alone and bereft. It's all just an excuse to turn himself into a bechara - poor thing wanted to divorce but he was trapped, you see. Bull-freaking-sh!t.

He got the best of both worlds after playing the victim. His first family continues on as before and he gets to claim Hema on the side too, all while looking honorable!! 🤔

Yes 💔 It was Prakash who got the short end of the stick in all this. Even though Dharmendra stays the most with her, comes home “everyday” like she mentions in the article.

It is terrible to stay knowing the other person wanted to go. In this same article, she calls Dharam her first and last love.

Women like her were taught to accept and compromise with their situation from childhood. I am certain that Dharam would have supported her financially, but she wants to stay with him because the alternative of a divorce was a stigma in her society and family.

Originally posted by: Beautyful_Mess

I think I was better off assuming he is the one who wanted to stay despite wanting to marry another. Knowing he always wanted to go and she made him stay just broke my heart into tiny little pieces for this woman. I can’t imagine they pain she endured. I also can’t help but think of how toxic and stressful the beginning was for everyone involved. She suffered the most though and I don’t even know who blame because I understand why she made the choice that she made. 💔

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

It was a different era. Dharmendra and Prakash married when they were 19. She was a simple woman who didn’t want to face the world alone and the social stigma of a divorcee. He respected her wishes and converted to Islam to marry Hema Malini.

This is what Prakash said in an interview once -

“I am learning to stand on my own. But why should I protect myself when I have my husband to protect me? I don't care what the world may say about the kind of relationship I share with my husband. Where I am concerned I know that my husband is protecting all of us. He comes home every day and spends time with the children. I don't say that he comes home for me. But what is important is that he does come home."

She even defends him for marrying Hema Malini by saying anyone would get attracted to her and people have no right to point fingers at their arrangement.

Why are you defending Fharmendta so much? Who are you? You’re not dharmendta himself of course. He barely speaks or writes anything coherently. Bhai tum ho kaun

Originally posted by: Beautyful_Mess

I think I was better off assuming he is the one who wanted to stay despite wanting to marry another. Knowing he always wanted to go and she made him stay just broke my heart into tiny little pieces for this woman. I can’t imagine they pain she endured. I also can’t help but think of how toxic and stressful the beginning was for everyone involved. She suffered the most though and I don’t even know who blame because I understand why she made the choice that she made. 💔

Who knows? If she'd been educated and financially independent, she might have kicked the selfish hubby to the curb.

I think I'm failing to make something clear with my kids come first posts. You can't force a selfish adult into a situation without him actually taking the resentment out on you and the children in really bad ways. Then it will deteriorate into an abuse situation in some way. If it comes to that, then the wronged woman (or man) will have no option but to ask the other person to leave.

My point is that all parties really need to think of the actual helpless humans mixed up in the situation through no fault of their own. My point is based on the assumption that the father (or mother) is a decent human and loves the children more than anyone else in the world. Which would mean, (s)he'd swat the resentments away and focus on their wellbeing.

And no, this doesn't constitute me telling other people how to lead their lives😆. God knows I'm no one to decide who is a decent human and who is not. But how a person treats people dependent on him and/or cannot strike back in some way matters. If saying that makes me condescending, so be it.

Originally posted by: Chameli_billi

Why are you defending Fharmendta so much? Who are you? You’re not dharmendta himself of course. He barely speaks or writes anything coherently. Bhai tum ho kaun

Originally posted by: Chameli_billi

Why are you defending Fharmendta so much? Who are you? You’re not dharmendta himself of course. He barely speaks or writes anything coherently. Bhai tum ho kaun

Cause he’s Dharamji lol

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Once again: none of it applies to abusive (emotionally, physically, financially) marriages.

Isn't this a bit of a cop-out? 😛 "Good" marriages and "bad" marriages are both vague and cannot be defined by one entity. Person A might not be ready to walk out of a marriage but Person B might be one foot out the door and relying on their last brain cell to keep it together, you know what I mean? I also hope you realize that I'm not talking about Dharmenda and whatever he pulled with Hema Malini here. I absolutely cannot stand men who cheat and upgrade their wives and move on like the first one never existed. We branched off that a while back, so most of my posts are centered on normal, everyday people, not bollywood celebrities.

And I'm not attacking you for stating facts I allegedly don't like. I'm just saying that it's so obvious that it's a given in most of the households. Most of the parents already know their kids would love nothing more than seeing them together as a part of the same team. They don't need scientific studies to tell them so, it's elementary stuff. I'm just baffled that you put so much stock on these studies that you are willing to get down and dirty with people who veer from it... for breaking "rules" and find them so unsavory and selfish for not sticking together for the sake of their kids.

I wasn’t old enough to be a sap over him. It’s convenient to club an opposing opinion under favouritism 🤔

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

Cause he’s Dharamji lol