One question this track poses is: how much of the effort it takes to maintain a relationship should be put in by one partner only?
On the surface level, it seems like Adi is doing all that he can from his standpoint because he, to him helplessly, believes certain lies that have hurt Imlie, regrets what he did as a result, but still wants to be with the woman he’s in love with. This guy is a bit too good at compartmentalizing. What is really going on here is Adi pleading with Imlie to get past what has happened and go back to the way things were before. His entire sense of normalcy & well-being stems from Imlie. We’ve seen it before, in his world, all’s well & good while she’s good with him. Notice how he keeps taking the child’s reference to justify his actions that have hurt Imlie, yet not once has he expressed any genuine emotions, positive or negative, about becoming a father to anyone?
This is working on two levels. He deleted the video impulsively thinking, hey, this is my Imlie. Where a child is involved, she will understand me. She will forgive me, as she has forgiven me and my family on other instances multiple times before. I broke her trust, yes, but in the larger scheme of things, she will still hold some faith in our relationship because that’s who she is. That should make her hold on to me, no matter what. In the meantime, I will win over her forgiveness come what may. When Imlie and I are in a stable place, only then will I have the mental and emotional capacity to think about the child that, for me, Imlie will raise lovingly. Who’s the real mother — he’s least bothered about that despite jeopardizing his marriage for her.
We all want Imlie to leave, keep her self-respect above all this. Fair enough, I want that too. 👍🏼 The counter argument is simply, she doesn’t want to and shouldn’t have to. Adi is the man she loves, and for all his flaws, she doesn’t want to give up on him. The way his family has treated her has been disgusting, to say the least, but from her perspective, they took her in back when Adi was at odds with her and she loves them deeply, so their words & actions may have hurt but she doesn’t want to give up on them either. The crux of the matter is Imlie is a young girl in love with a guy who’s crazy about her, but tends to make glaring mistakes from time to time. I guess the counter perspective here really is, she’s strong enough to fight for her love and marriage when her partner is falling short, so why should she quit?
That brings me to question I started this post off with. Is it fair to expect only Imlie to fight? And if not, does it matter anyway because she wants to? We, as the viewers, are furious on her behalf, but she’s still there working through all of her grief and anger, trying to find her way back to Adi. She has openly declared she isn’t leaving in front of his mother. She loves him to the extent that she is open to the idea of raising a child he’s having with someone else so he won’t have to choose between them.
Is this, or Adi, her strength or weakness? It’s love, so maybe it’s both? Maybe it all depends on the perspective.
Sorry for the long and unexpectedly philosophical post. 🤣 In practical terms, Imlie needs to make a firm demand of Adi. She needs to be the one to advocate for a divorce. She’s the one who’s wronged here and we all know Adi ain’t gonna breathe normal until Imlie at least tries to forgive him, so he won’t think twice about getting that divorce now for Imlie’s sake. (Should be doing it for his own sake but ).
Sorry, couldn’t tag all 😔
Edited by jperalta - 3 years ago
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Debate Mansion
