Originally posted by: BBFanForever
But Mohit, Samrat, Devyani all 3 have been brought up in the same toxic environment right... Yet their heart is always at right place & moral compass intact yes they the former 2 might have done errors but none of their actions are even comparable to of Virat's straight-up toxicity. He can't get excused of his own behaviour cos of having abusive dad then Devyani too her mom is toxic & pure evil so is Mohit's parents.
Not all fingers in our hands are the same. Not everyone in a family needs to be the same. The problem is not with Virat’s moral compass but it is due to his nature. Virat is a guy who has no control over his emotions.
To add to it, Sai is not that easy a person too. She is a good human being but her nature and her behaviour is also a reason for him to react to certain things in a certain way. He is already a guy who cannot control his emotions, has seen and absorbed some amount of toxicity subconsciously and added to it is the equation with Sai along with all her actions.
Sai is nice to Mohit, nice to Samrat, to Devi, to Shivani too but ends up showing her harsh exterior to Virat. She behaves rudely with him, gets too stubborn, challenges him, makes many things difficult too. The way they got married, the deal marriage is the biggest issue between them. There is a person named Pakhi between them. Virat’s inability to express certain things, to open his mouth has always been an issue for many things to get cleared. She hasn’t got the clarity she is seeking for because of which she keeps pushing him away, is not willing to consider it as a real marriage, doesn’t want to give a chance, is unable to accept when he says he has ended his commitment.
Mohit or Samrat or Devi are not people who lives with Sai all the time. Their relationship with her is different from Virat’s. Virat is her husband and generally, be it love, expectations, anger, hurt and many more emotions with a spouse will be different from what they have for others. Spouse take each other for granted. A person takes more liberty on their spouse (be it Sai or Virat or Mohit). They have high expectations from spouse be it Sai or Virat and hence the disappointment when the expectations are not met or when the hope gets shattered is always more resulting to more hurt or anger.
Let’s look at Mohit. The way he behaves with Sai is not how he behaves with Karishma. There are a few differences between Mohit’s situation and Virat’s. Mohit’s marriage is not as complicated as Virat Sai’s. Mohit’s problem is his career. The couple do have issues because of it and they have setback too. Only thing is that they want each other in their life and they can also show their liberty on each other. Karishma is not at all like Sai. She takes sides of those people whom she knows that she would be at an advantage. She does raise issues but slso shuts her mouth. She would scold Mohit too but would also move as if nothing happened. The only problem between them is that she is unhappy with his job.
Sai was never accepted by CN people just like Karishma. But Sai is not at a person who would act in ways that will be favourable for her. She will only support people who are right and would never hesitate to call out when something goes wrong. As you know there has been a lot of issues that CN people created and the way Sai reacted to each one of them have been different. Some were right and some of the methods she had adopted to solve a few problems were wrong and had become a big issue. Since Sai is Virat’s wife and also his responsibility, anything that goes wrong would mean it would be directed to Virat. Virat had to answer the people in a way. Hence, many a times a lot of things had become an issue. We never know how Mohit would have reacted if he had to face similar such thing. He has supported Sai but would he have done the same if his own spouse had dealt with a few things like that? Another thing as I have already pointed out is that Mohit doesn’t have any insecurity, his and Karishma’s relationship is a well settled one. Virat always had an insecurity. He always was/is worried that Sai might leave him or might like someone else. He has had issues when she has not paid any attention to him or doesn’t reciprocate any feelings that he had for her. She has always been acting indifferent and had a mask on which never let him see what she thinks about him or what she feels for him. According to him, there was an uncertainty in their relationship because Sai never wanted to marry him in first place and he used to think that she doesn’t like him at all. Of course nothing was certain in Sai’s life too. She also wasn’t/isn’t sure if her position in his life.
Samrat had left the house when there was an issue. He didn’t even stay back and face it. What he is doing looks good today but he had abandoned his mom and family and left the house for a girl whom he had met just a few days before his marriage. He got the space that he needed which has also helped him cool down and handle situations in a different way. I think he has also been able to shed the toxicity when he was at work or may be even before. Virat had failed to do that. I have raised this as an issue because Virat has failed to do it.
Devi is a victim and her position is very different compared to any of these people. Her condition has been a blessing to voice out her opinion without having to thinking much and also a bane since she couldn’t free herself from this toxic house.
It is not like Virat doesn’t know what is right and what is not. It is just that when he loses his cool, when he fails to control his emotions, his hurt turns into extreme anger and the guy starts to behave toxic that he had imbibed without his own knowledge. I have also said that him being elder than Sai, his position in her life has all given him some unsaid power which he had exercised during the PD lunch incident refusing her food, money and also while snatching the roof from her.
Mohit taunts Karishma when she taunts him or gives it back to her in some way. Virat stays quiet many a times when Sai says something harsh. He gets hurt, cries, even asks her but when the guy gets very hurt sometimes, he gets overwhelmed to even open his mouth. This staying quiet many a times is what I am talking about as bottled up emotions. His expectations or hopes that had shattered turns into desperation when he doesn’t know how to resolve the issue/deal with it.
His equation with Sai is the problem. The kind of relationship and the kind of issues they have between each other is the problem. He is very new to someone like Sai and just doesn’t understand how to deal with her many a times. Sai is a challenging person as I have already said.
Only the spouse bears the brunt of things. Everyone loves Virat and they hardly have issues with him except for Sai. Why? I am leaving Pakhi from this because she is not willing to move on even if Virat has clearly told her what is in his mind/heart. Samrat had issues with Virat which had also got resolved when Virat had sincerely apologised to him. That leaves out only Sai. She is also having issues with him because of the kind of marriage they have had and because of his past. Also, because he is acting as her husband, showing liberty on her, develops unreasonable expectations too from her.
Similarly even though everyone loves Sai and don’t have issues with her like Mohit or Samrat or Devi, does Sai behave with them the same as she behaves with Virat? No. She gets angry or upset especially when he talks too high of Pakhi and calls her nasamajh or badtameez. It is not just this but her expectations from Virat is different. She doesn’t have any expectations from Mohit or Samrat but has from Virat abs rightly so too. Even when she gets upset with others, she wouldn’t show her disappointment the way she shows to Virat because he is the only one who can hurt her that way. He is the only one from whom she has a lot of expectations. But this doesn’t change the fact that she act difficult because of all the issues that they have. What I am trying to say is Sai has to bear the brunt of Virat’s actions and Virat also has to bear the brunt of Sai’s actions.
Virat has absorbed some amount of toxicity in him which he has not managed to get rid of when he was in school or college of academy too. The guy had probably spent a lot of time at home compared to Samrat. Also, his own mom has always been the person who was bearing it and he has subconsciously developed an attitude that it is not wrong to be like her, it is better to be like her snd that’s why even he doesn’t fight battles but just ignores it. Mansi being a daughter of the house doesn’t seem to have been harassed or subjected to abuse like Ashwini would have been. All such things makes a difference because at the end of the day a child will look at their own parents and learn things. Similarly Kaku rules the house, so even though Devi had to go through a lot, she hasn’t seen her mom bend for things. Same goes with Sonali and Omi, they are infact a happy couple however horrible and mean they are.
Virat’s mom was a victim which has made him weak in many ways and his Dad was an abuser whose acts have got imbibed in him without his own knowledge.
Things are not as easy as it looks. Virat is a raja babu for his mom but if we look at him as a child who had to witness the atrocities of his Kaku, his Dad against his own mom, we would know what all the child would have gone through. The child grow up with some survival mechanism so that people accept him happily than criticising him like how they criticise his mom. The child would try to please people, try to stay away from conflicts for his own peace of mind, will lack confidence, will be tormented that he would turn into both a victim and an abuser too unintentionally.
Edited by laksh - 4 years ago
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