Poor Kinjal

Regular dramas of this house aside, the saddest thing is having to see Kinjal's fall from grace since she entered the show. When she started out she had this fantastic personal style, she stood by her parents' decision initially and held firm with Toshu who was willing to toss his own family in the trash for her- A red flag I wish she had noticed then of the ingratitude and lack of loyalty he has. She stood up to Toshu and called out his terrible attitude and treatment of his mother. Ever since she got married she's started dressing more conservatively, only wearing westerns for office. She runs herself ragged serving these people meals even though she works a more time-consuming job than ALL of them, including her husband. This family's treatment of ex bahu and trying to understand how much control they can exert is one thing, but time and again they allude to the fact that Anupamaa is NO LONGER Vanraj's wife, so he can't. But even if you're someone's wife they shouldn't and don't have the right to dictate your life and decisions. That's what I wish someone would stand up and say. In not doing so, Kinjal is suffering the most. Because the expectation is that because she is a wife and bahu, she has to conform to their regressive beliefs with regards to housework and clothing and such. Real progressiveness is not sending women outside to work. It's making the men share the weight of the household work too. Otherwise it's not progressiveness, it's slave labour. Back to Kinjal, when she had that spell where she was upset with Anupamaa she was actually very much in the right, though the anger was directed at the wrong person. I hate that they "made her realize her mistake". But when will they realize theirs? She wasn't wrong in saying she doesn't want to end up like Anupamaa and the latter shouldn't have been so upset at what she said. Look at your trauma Anupamaa, why would you want the same for her? And actually Baa was very much the wrong one then and is the wrong one now. A lot of women after marriage want to dress more mature and perhaps wear more Indian clothes and stuff to "look like a wife" I guess. Which if it's their choice and preference without any outside influence, is totally fine and respectable. Everyone has their ideas of what marriage looks like to them. But families should encourage their daughters and daughters in law not to lose their individuality and personalities in pursuit of some fairytale idea. That they can continue being who they are even after marriage and they'll be supported by their families for doing the same. It's nice to see her wear fun sarees and well cut blouses from time to time but if they show her in her old style like dresses once in a while, maybe we could believe something wasn't wrong. The fact that she gave up her old style is totally depressing. Even her office formals are very simple and boring. All said and done about Kavya, she has not once compromised with her personal self and style. Not saying any bahu should be as rude and mannerless as her but this family deserves Kavya only, to teach them a lesson. I would expect at least Bapuji to ensure that what he allowed to happen to Anupamaa for 25 years, he wouldn't let happen to Kinjal. One could hope Kinjal's FIL would atleast change for her sake, but he's too busy trying to oppress his ex wife to care that his son is a worse version of him, and whose marriage will definitely crumble soon. Like father like son I guess. Honestly, I totally understand Rakhi Dave's hatred for this family. Look at what they've done to her daughter. Hands on mother or not, her daughter was given every luxury and grew up to be sensitive and caring and loving also. And only a woman like Rakhi can recognize how her innocent kid is getting taken advantage of. If I were her mother, I would want to ruin this family too. Kinjal needs to stop chasing the "Big, happy, loving family" dream she has so badly that she loses her dignity and sense of self in the process. I'm waiting for her to stop standing up for Anupamaa who is capable of standing up for herself. She needs to speak up for herself too, or at least let her mother come and knock some sense into everyone.