A Pattern in the show - Page 3

Originally posted by: JoonaMohalla

Underline: So true

I understand Virat apologizing there. But Sai is the female lead, hence always right. I have lost hopes 🤔and it pains me because I didn't start watching the show because of Neil even though, I love him as an actor. I started watching the show because of Sai. She was like a breath of fresh air for me. But there's no growth. Hence the disappointment is bigger, I think😒

I have no plans to return to the show now. I'm not sure if they can bring back the charm of the show😭

I'm watching the show but I get so irritated whenever Sai comes up with the deal marraige. I too don't any hopes specially with Sai's progress. She's still stuck in the deal mode and I'm always right.😡

Can’t agree more to your last post Lakshmi. Very well put 👍! Sai is raised with freedom and virat in a caged world. They react differently. I don’t have problem with virat’s mistakes if they are addressed properly . His latest demeanor did affect my image of virat. But if the story addresses it as an issue then I am ok. I am sure virat will apologize as he should.

Again, Sai’s ‘mistakes’ always yielded good so ultimately they are not mistakes. She is flawed in her ways of handling things. But she is an upright person. Her not apologizing to virat doesn’t mean she loves or respects him any lesser. Just that she is confident about her sense of judgement !

Just how I look at them. Could be wrong

I agree completely laksh. While it is true that in a lot of ITV shows, MLs are often butchered for the sake of making the FL suffer....I don't believe this to be the case in ghum. Virat's actions do have a legitimate background....him growing up in a toxic environment and his own dad being abusive. So his actions are not coming out of the blue...without any context....just to cover the FL's mistakes. This is how he is supposed to be.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I agree completely laksh. While it is true that in a lot of ITV shows, MLs are often butchered for the sake of making the FL suffer....I don't believe this to be the case in ghum. Virat's actions do have a legitimate background....him growing up in a toxic environment and his own dad being abusive. So his actions are not coming out of the blue...without any context....just to cover the FL's mistakes. This is how he is supposed to be.

I agree with Laksh as well.. we have had long distance on how Virat is butchered and now coming to all of this we see , he is not...He has anger issues.. you know his need to teach Sai a lesson and hence she is kept locked in her room, took me back to a real life incident, a loving husband, young wife and his love and punishments coming as per the wife behaves.. Family's supoort throughout...We have all seen such men in real life..Remember we discussed.. difference between "romanticised MLs" and Virat is , the former are a part of fantasy world... the latter everywhere around.. More than him locking, I was appalled at the way he was fine with it..

Also if we get into that detail...For his insulting words even Virat has never apologised he has only apologised for his barbaric actions...Something I keep bringing up when apology is talked about... He also realises his mistake when people tell him about it, or when something grave happens...

I have maintained since the ousting incident(I actually thought during man handling that he is genuinely apologising and wont repeat it) that an apology is as equal to no apology when barbaric mistakes are repeated...

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I agree with Laksh as well.. we have had long distance on how Virat is butchered and now coming to all of this we see , he is not...He has anger issues.. you know his need to teach Sai a lesson and hence she is kept locked in her room, took me back to a real life incident, a loving husband, young wife and his love and punishments coming as per the wife behaves.. Family's supoort throughout...We have all seen such men in real life..Remember we discussed.. difference between "romanticised MLs" and Virat is , the former are a part of fantasy world... the latter everywhere around.. More than him locking, I was appalled at the way he was fine with it..

Also if we get into that detail...For his insulting words even Virat has never apologised he has only apologised for his barbaric actions...Something I keep bringing up when apology is talked about... He also realises his mistake when people tell him about it, or when something grave happens...

I have maintained since the ousting incident(I actually thought during man handling that he is genuinely apologising and wont repeat it) that an apology is as equal to no apology when barbaric mistakes are repeated...

I would even go on to say that showing him as an ideal man ...and then showing him as abusive is NOT butchering. All that glitters is not gold. The Virat whom we saw in GC was in an idealistic phase..he belived himself to be incapable of hurting women. But at that time he was unchallenged.... emotionally and psychologically. He was a bachelor, the chaheeta beta of his family whom everyone praised. All of us are well-behaved and righteous when things are hunky-dory. Real test comes when we are put in a difficult situation.

The real challenge came after he got married to Sai. All his flaws that were hidden ..came to the fore. I remember watching a show where a young couple were seeking counselling for their relationship problems. Both the partners were holding the other responsible for bringing the worst in each other....because they were pretty fine people otherwise. The counsellor shocked them by saying that the relationship did not bring out the worst ...it showed who they really were.

And yes I agree, both of them have not apologized for their hurtful words...

Originally posted by: JoonaMohalla

Yes, I have stopped watching the show (almost🤣)

Don't blame me. Blame my insta😆

This is not Virat v/s Sai. I'm not supporting Virat. He has made hineous mistakes. But I rarely have expectations from male leads-the reason why I seldom watch

Ok so here is what I want to say:

Sai wants to go to Pulkit's house. Nobody knows why. She doesn't tell them anything. She acts stubborn.(Mistake)

I am so Sorry!! I didn't knew Virat told Sai and every family member where he going to go and than only he goes!!

Or for that matter Patralekha for them its suffice to say they have some work ; and they go anywhere nobody asks any ques; but here Sai tells them that she is going to a prof. House for lunch and its not enough!!

How is it a mistake??

Virat grabs her wrist and holds it tightly. He denies her food. (Bigger Mistake)

Sai goes behind Virat's back and lies to him, gets Devyani married. (Mistake)

Again, Sai brings Pulkit to house, reveals the truth of Devyani's marriage tells him about their daughter and what does Virat do?

He based on a letter with no return address goes to college and find documents from there instead of going for DNA test or official records statement.

Even after Sai shows him the right document instead of finding the truth first; he throws Sai out first.

Virat throws her out of the house.(Bigger Mistake)

Sai hurts Virat, acts insensitive, blames him for two timing, gets his transfer cancelled. (Mistake)

Sure, Sai should be able to read minds coz Virat toh never said that he is in commitment with Patralekha and can never give any other woman her place; he never acted cozy with his bff; he never lied about his relationship with patralekha to family making sai look like a fool, he not only supported his bff in insulting Sai but kept mum during the nurse comment; golddigger comment and virat definetely did not stopped Sai from retorting to Patralekha..

& after all this when

SAI ASKS FOR CLARITY=== SAI HAS HURT VIRAT; SAI HAS ACTED INSENSITIVE!!

YES, I AGREE HER GETTING VIRAT'S TRANSFER WAS WRONG; BUT DO NOT BLAME SAI FOR WHAT SHE HAS NOT DONE!!

Virat acts insensitive, hurts her with words, and ultimately locks her up in the room. (I'm not sure which mistake was bigger in this case)

In Ajinkya case, Sai did nothing there, as far as I can remember. Virat was to blame.

*Edited by DT*

I have highlighted my points..but based on the scenarios it looks like we both watch different ghum..

Also, I agree that FL needs not to be perfect and her every mistake should not be whitewashed; but you forget makers FL is Pattarlekha not Sai also, the ML says Sorry and within a week does something doubly heinous; why bother him with apologizing if he has to keep repeating the same mistakes.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I would even go on to say that showing him as an ideal man ...and then showing him as abusive is NOT butchering. All that glitters is not gold. The Virat whom we saw in GC was in an idealistic phase..he belived himself to be incapable of hurting women. But at that time he was unchallenged.... emotionally and psychologically. He was a bachelor, the chaheeta beta of his family whom everyone praised. All of us are well-behaved and righteous when things are hunky-dory. Real test comes when we are put in a difficult situation.

The real challenge came after he got married to Sai. All his flaws that were hidden ..came to the fore. I remember watching a show where a young couple were seeking counselling for their relationship problems. Both the partners were holding the other responsible for bringing the worst in each other....because they were pretty fine people otherwise. The counsellor shocked them by saying that the relationship did not bring out the worst ...it showed who they really were.

And yes I agree, both of them have not apologized for their hurtful words...

Yes this is what happened. you put it well. Virat might have idealistic mindset/values but when confronted with reality, he fails. He knows he failed, hence apologizes. Virat trying to control Sai comes from his inability to address his emotions for her. It is so natural, that you try to possess something you love. He is not a saint! He is dealing with separating from her, her MUing him and his fear that she will leave him. He is resorting to the henious actions to control her and show his rights. He will falter till his consience stops him or his love overpowers his selfishness. Blaming it on butchering doesnt make sense to me. He is who he is!

Originally posted by: sadiltl

Yes this is what happened. you put it well. Virat might have idealistic mindset/values but when confronted with reality, he fails. He knows he failed, hence apologizes. Virat trying to control Sai comes from his inability to address his emotions for her. It is so natural, that you try to possess something you love. He is not a saint! He is dealing with separating from her, her MUing him and his fear that she will leave him. He is resorting to the henious actions to control her and show his rights. He will falter till his consience stops him or his love overpowers his selfishness. Blaming it on butchering doesnt make sense to me. He is who he is!

Exactly he is who he is.. the real test begins when things are not hunky dory !

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

During Devkit kaand she had to apologise and they got the ousting drama... After it all was fine she owed an apology to Virat for the way she handled things...

Coming to two timer well that was harsh..I was more upset on how she said he is not happy as Samrat is back knowing how he has pined for him ...do naav pr paer I guess we had a long conversation on emotional fidelity...seems like it was mentioned today in the episode.. there has been a kind of emotional infidelity for sure.. the relationship he shares with Pakhi cannot be called normal even now..going by recent episodes...They should have made him more stringent and stoic towards her...atleast now...why butcher him...

I am Not fine with them getting back together...not after what has been done...no point crying and apologising when the abuse has to repeat...Makers should have worked on the characters they created but they are getting TRPs ..so kya bole ab..

I am somewhat in the same zone a out emo fidelity.

I feel most imp they are wired in most basic way diff .they have no common emo and spiritual goals

Sai is a free bird and Marchs to her heart or minds beat but vir is mostly izzat and society rules type.

He is mostly a product of misogyny thinking and behaviour of how each gender should behave in a certain way

Sai values truth and sometimes says things without thinking If it's the right time or place. ( Telling that cab guy or talking about his transfer or most imp getting a mentally challenged mem remarried to her husband _ what if her medical condition went worse)

But never cheats her mind voice . She feels this is drama so she will not participate since it's a kind of cheating in pooja.

Vir avoids confrontation and pushes things under the carpet. He sometimes tells half truths ( imp he did not tell what pp told him in the cafe ) , he does not draw boundary emo and physical with his ex and yet expects sai to understand when he can't tolerate her normal basic friendship

Many times lot of abuse,consent is normalized...

Again above is my perspective and peeps can agree to disagree.

Also, just wanted to say it yesterday too but restrained myself. May be I am worried about the words I use may not convey the depth or actual meaning but I will try.

What Virat feels or expects from Sai, no one else feels. Samrat and others dont share what Virat shares with Sai. Husband and wife dynamics are completely different from other relationships. So seeing their relationship from the lens of Samrat, pulkit and Mohit is futile. Virat can be a good son, good brother, a good police officer and a good citizen too, but he is also a husband where he is faltering. So lets not judge him too harshly for failing as a husband. He has failed few times as a 'husband' doesn't mean he is a monster. If we keep that in mind, I think a lot of hatred for the character can be reduced.

Just my 2 cents.