Pandya Store|Episode Discussion #86|Shiva Ki Mona Lisa Smile - Page 18

Originally posted by: Palak2812

The day

When Shivi r really doing PDA

Whenever it comes after months or yrs

Whole Somnath be like

Not only whole Somnath, will be all of ShiVi fandom😆

Originally posted by: Pixiepadhi

There is nothing wrong in it.

I think suman is used to dhara taking care of her over all these years. So she may not be comfortable with her sons doing stuff like changing or cleaning her up.

And she is embarassed by the accident also.

Yep, I think you are correct. Also, parents sometimes are more comfortable with certain children compared to others. My grandmother during her final days was only comfortable around my parents. She would never ask my uncle if she needed help cleaning up. She was too embarrassed. No one knows why but I guess it’s a matter of comfort. My dad used to do everything and she was okay with that. But not so much with her other children. She used to be very embarrassed around them.

Suman did ask for Gaumbi so I’m guessing she’s okay with him and he has done it before marrying Dhara. Dev and her share a certain gap (age, comfort, etc…) which probably makes her uncomfortable. Also, like you said she was probably very embarrassed. It’s a very unfortunate and sad situation. My heart went out to her.

Originally posted by: loveableangel

I don't mean to sound rude. But what is wrong if your son takes care of you? I understand it's an embarrassing situation but what's the difference if your dil cleans you up or your son? I would prefer my son as it's time to pay his dues.

There is nothing wrong with caring for our mom when she needs it the most..its not about who is more liable to do this or who is not.. its about dignity..dhara has been helping her since years and she has become comfortable with her..infact she even asked for gombi..the hurt here is she couldn't control herself..and after that her son had to bath her and clean up ..still its not wrong at all. Dev dhara gombi shiva anyone has the right and it's their duty to help her..but from sumans point of view,I can't help but understand the helplessness there..I had experienced this myself when my mom was bedridden and the nurse asked me to assist her to change the bed pan..I was in college..and my mom was so hurt...I am her own daughter and still she was hurt and embarassed...she later told me she never expected I would have to do that for her atleast not that early..she was crying and I was angry with her to make this a big deal..I didn't think from her side then..but now I do...I think suman would have been OK if someone helped her to reach the bathroom.. but not able to control herself and that happening would have made her feel humiliated as anything..

PS.. I am also pissed off with suman since some episodes now..but this situation does make me feel empathetic..

Originally posted by: loveableangel

I get that. Shes embarrassed. But she has 4 sons what use are they if shes happier being looked after by her daughter in law?

I'll be honest I do not like sumans character. Shes a bully. Sexist and a hypocrite. Though I can feel sympathy for the situation at hand. But it seems like shes more upset that Dev found her than the actual situation at hand.

In this scene, writers have great opportunity to highlight plight of handicap person, and how poorly our infrastructure/ system is paying attention to it.

Her shock was from the accident, anxiety & feeling of helplessness.

Why hasn’t this family - GauRa especially & Dev as well (with his YouTube Engineering master) paid attention to make sure atleast bathroom is handicap accessible? A simple latch, grab bars update. This should have been done long ago.

Suman’s character has very realistic traits from agegroup & social context they are shown in.

Somnath is 3rd tier town (not even a City) and Suman’s agegroup has predominantly been homemakers or working along husbands in family stores.

Yes, she sounds sexist & more than anyone else her Sons need to make sure to explain this to her instead of hiding & going in kitchen from window & all.

As far as her reprimanding Rishita for cooking part: cooking is life skill. All men & women must know basics. Rishita couldn't even make a decent chai.

Nothing wrong in looking for work, wanting to work & she should work- but is she ready to manage her time wisely so all her & her husband's daily needs don’t fall on rest of the family members as unpaid job!? Has she talked to Dev about how they can pitch in daily chores along with work- since they are a middle class family?

Also her timing for looking for work didnot seem practical.

Till yesterday she was happy doing nothing, soon as she hears Dhara’s pregnancy she wants to go work, even after knowing Dhara needs to take it easy. She could have waited to sort out home schedule , maid hiring, chores & task allotments with Dhara, Dev, Gautam & all & then started job search!!!

Being ‘modern’ ‘feminist’ doesn’t mean this or that!

It means being able to manage time wisely along with shared tasks at both fronts!

And as far as Suman is concerned in work aspect: her MeraDev needs to speak up & make mom understand. Simple.

y does not mera dev looks for a job as well he is doing nothing why he is so pampered for what get education and just rest and romance ,i realy thought yesterday when Rashita mentioned to get a job that he will say yes i have to do the same but what he came out with yes you have to why not both of you ? he just want to be dependent on his bhai and bhabi all his life or shiva will work and he will be critics him for his own mistakes ?

Originally posted by: spdp

In this scene, writers have great opportunity to highlight plight of handicap person, and how poorly our infrastructure/ system is paying attention to it.

Her shock was from the accident, anxiety & feeling of helplessness.

Why hasn’t this family - GauRa especially & Dev as well (with his YouTube Engineering master) paid attention to make sure atleast bathroom is handicap accessible? A simple latch, grab bars update. This should have been done long ago.

Suman’s character has very realistic traits from agegroup & social context they are shown in.

Somnath is 3rd tier town (not even a City) and Suman’s agegroup has predominantly been homemakers or working along husbands in family stores.

Yes, she sounds sexist & more than anyone else her Sons need to make sure to explain this to her instead of hiding & going in kitchen from window & all.

As far as her reprimanding Rishita for cooking part: cooking is life skill. All men & women must know basics. Rishita couldn't even make a decent chai.

Nothing wrong in looking for work, wanting to work & she should work- but is she ready to manage her time wisely so all her & her husband's daily needs don’t fall on rest of the family members as unpaid job!? Has she talked to Dev about how they can pitch in daily chores along with work- since they are a middle class family?

Also her timing for looking for work didnot seem practical.

Till yesterday she was happy doing nothing, soon as she hears Dhara’s pregnancy she wants to go work, even after knowing Dhara needs to take it easy. She could have waited to sort out home schedule , maid hiring, chores & task allotments with Dhara, Dev, Gautam & all & then started job search!!!

Being ‘modern’ ‘feminist’ doesn’t mean this or that!

It means being able to manage time wisely along with shared tasks at both fronts!

And as far as Suman is concerned in work aspect: her MeraDev needs to speak up & make mom understand. Simple.

💯

@bold. 100%. I raised the same ques..

They just use the terms like self respect , job, work, finance, financial independence , without given proper context.to it ..and a proper track build up over it never happens.

Irrespective of the gender , everyone must know the basic life skills..I agree..but Suman making it sound like , her boys won't enter the kitchen gives it a diff dimension...makes me wonder is this the issue or everyone adapting to the situations as they come ?

as for girls like rishita , I have seen girls who don't know how to boil water ..its OK if ppl r that way , but how long does it take to learn ? They can build a room with online assistance but not making chai and basic food ? Everything is on yt and internet..its just so illogical..they r forcefully creating a situation for raavis coming bk.

rishita probably thought of taking up the job bec of pagalpanti drama going on in the house..lots of girls r looking for escape through their jobs..n it's understandable to me..problem is , with so many ppl, it's difficult to reach a consensus. Everything will be discussed , argued upon, ma ko manao, ye nai wo nai..if she seeks permission she won't get it , if dev tries to, he won't get it either. Har cheez ke liya drama hoga pehle. Kaam wali bai ka drama..job ka drama..ghar ke kaam ka drama..

if they can build a room by them self why they have not realised the facilities of the disabled person ? which type of family and especially these sons are ?

Originally posted by: _charu_

💯

@bold. 100%. I raised the same ques..

They just use the terms like self respect , job, work, finance, financial independence , without given proper context.to it ..and a proper track build up over it never happens.

Irrespective of the gender , everyone must know the basic life skills..I agree..but Suman making it sound like , her boys won't enter the kitchen gives it a diff dimension...makes me wonder is this the issue or everyone adapting to the situations as they come ?

as for girls like rishita , I have seen girls who don't know how to boil water ..its OK if ppl r that way , but how long does it take to learn ? They can build a room with online assistance but not making chai and basic food ? Everything is on yt and internet..its just so illogical..they r forcefully creating a situation for raavis coming bk.

rishita probably thought of taking up the job bec of pagalpanti drama going on in the house..lots of girls r looking for escape through their jobs..n it's understandable to me..problem is , with so many ppl, it's difficult to reach a consensus. Everything will be discussed , argued upon, ma ko manao, ye nai wo nai..if she seeks permission she won't get it , if dev tries to, he won't get it either. Har cheez ke liya drama hoga pehle. Kaam wali bai ka drama..job ka drama..ghar ke kaam ka drama..

@ bold: I knew very little cooking before marriage. Just the basics. With studies & then work + grew up in a family where maharaj/ cook was always there. My Mom & Daadi both were working women- so for family consistent household help+ dad/dada pitching in as needed was quite normal.

Married staunch Patel boy & in his family cooking is the life! Rasodu is the place from morning till night.

In short time in India, was at times frustrating & was laughed at, taunted for my just the basic knowledge of it. So I totally get it. But in real life: from the time of our engagement to wedding I made an effort to learn basics well. post coming to US, it was all on me! And Tarla dalal & Sudhansuu (anupama's vanraj- love him for his cooking chops for doba-est learners) + sanjiv kapoor were my saviors. Learned it all, experimented & improved. all with new country, full time work & all chores. Both of us do everything. Cook good enough so my kids can now brag about ‘Maa ke haath Ka khana😇.

Problem with Rishita is she doesn’t even want to learn. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ bold 2: that’s exactly what I don’t want to see: bringing Raavi back so she manages home. Leaves her studies. Dhara can take much needed rest & Rishita can chill/ work!!!

Want Raavi to come back for Love, for Shiva.

@bold 3 : Infact, except Suman’s apprehension Gaumbi, Dev, everyone in the house was quite supportive of Rishita’s wish to work. Maa will sulk & they all know & they all will go on with it.

The effort I miss is from Rishita, she has given no thought as to how she will manage work & forget home- her & her meradev’s daily chores.

What if maid doesn’t show up? Who will instruct maid? Does maid know how many people in the house? And 2000 is a steal. What if maid is just for bartan pochha for Dev Rishita only? Who will make their food? Bhabhi? Raavi? Why should they cook for Rishita? When she doesn’t help at all?

A lot is missing for me. Therefore, just like Dev, I am not able to sympathize with Rishita.

Especially because she always has these ultra righteous reactions, complaints, advice & comments for everyone else - but is not ready to look at her & Dev's follies. Be it her father's harassment or their minimal contribution to the family's daily chores + work.

I too have the same question that what work will be done in 2k.

I live in Delhi in our 3 bhk where she does cleaning of only 2 rooms and washes utensils and my mumma pays her minimum 2100 per month with 4 days paid leaves to our house help.

So definetley Somnath is cheaper but house is big with soo many people living in that.

U know in some areas house help even takes money according to how many people live in the house.

Worst was my cousin telling my mum ki maid aakar bolti hain kitne ser {(head) = 1person} hain aapke ghar uss hisab se lungi paise. It was weird to hear someone asking u ki kitne ser rehte hain aapke ghar mein.

Originally posted by: Palak2812

I too have the same question that what work will be done in 2k.

I live in Delhi in our 3 bhk where she does cleaning of only 2 rooms and washes utensils and my mumma pays her minimum 2100 per month with 4 days paid leaves to our house help.

So definetley Somnath is cheaper but house is big with soo many people living in that.

U know in some areas house help even takes money according to how many people live in the house.

Worst was my cousin telling my mum ki maid aakar bolti hain kitne ser {(head) = 1person} hain aapke ghar uss hisab se lungi paise. It was weird to hear someone asking u ki kitne ser rehte hain aapke ghar mein.

That's it 🤣 Who wouldn't want a bai for 2k🤣 my floor is half the size of pandya house and I am paying 4 k.

Yes..they charge per head nowdays ..smart maids 😆 my mil is the best.. whenever someone asks her "aap kitne family member ho?", she asks her instead ..tum kitne family member ho?🤣 don't you do work for ALL of them back home ? Tumhare jitne hain, mere usse kam hai.