Pandya Store|Episode Discussion#79|Shaadi Ka Galat Faisla (GREEN) - Page 68

Originally posted by: Raingoddess

Genuine question: correct me if I’m wrong, I thought his bike skidded because the wheels were worn out and the street was not in good condition? Did it happen on purpose? I thought it was purely accidental?

Also, I thought he wasn’t able to check on Raavi because he was trying to get off from the bike while it was skidding and was trying to keep it from falling onto him. I probably need to rewatch but that’s what I thought. The rest… yeah let’s just say violence turns me off super fast. It was inhumane the way he beat the boys. They were wrong no doubt, but Shiva wasn’t right either. Nor was Raavi.

Not sure what happened with bike maybe shiva was distracted by anger or the tires did wear out as the guys pointed out after the slip. He first tried to get the bike under control but by the time he took off his helmet and looked at raavi she was already surrounded by the two friends and he got more angry. Shiva really lost it though one or two smacks were enough lol but he really did a number on tweedle dee and tweedle dum lol

Originally posted by: Raingoddess

Very well written post. 🤗 Exhausted from work won’t go into the specific details on the confrontation (I feel like I’ll end up writing more than an essay 😆).

But @Bold caught my eye. Recently I have been thinking and I really do feel like the bullying and name calling went both ways, except like you pointed it out Raavi was more subtle. We have always seen Shiva call Raavi MaamiKiBehenKiBeti and treat her badly. But the more I think of it, the more I believe she has done her share of it during their teenage and early adulthood years. Even in their childhood. Unfortunately, ITV and even Bollywood (most of the time) won’t really go into the bullying and subsequence trauma faced by men at the hands of women. I feel like such things have no connection to gender but we tend to overlook instances of women bullying men. Or girls bullying boys.

I truly believe Raavi, as kind hearted as she is… is capable of bullying and saying things that can be hurtful. I knew some girls in high school and middle school who were not malicious (in fact they have grown into much better people later on)…. But they would either go along with the usual group when it comes to teasing someone or will through their own actions, belittle someone. I think her choice of friends give you an idea of what she must have done in the name of “fun”.

A lot of us were wondering why Sneha’s words alone affected Shiva so much. I’m starting to think that this isn’t the first time this exact scene has played out. Except, it’s always been Raavi in place of Sneha and perhaps a more laughing/not so malicious tone was used. But the scene playing out was exactly the same.

The writers didn’t show us any of this but I wonder if Shiva was reminded of all the times Raavi has done the exact same thing as Sneha, further showing him how far apart their worlds are. It wasn’t Sneha who bothered him, rather it was the memories associated with her words and the feeling of deja vu… it came down to Raavi. The diary further solidified those emotions. Both have done a number on each other. It’s the biggest reason why GauRa cannot understand their situation nor should they use themselves as an example. Gautam and Dhara were truly friends before their wedding. They had beautiful memories of growing up together. Shiva and Raavi don’t. Especially when they are intense emotions, bullying, name calling, etc… associated with it. Both are right in their own way… you can’t hold on to the past but you also cannot erase it completely and move forward. It has to be addressed. How I wish the makers would take this opportunity to go back to their childhood. Anyway, I ended up writing an essay and successfully diverted from the topic 😆

Lovely post ❤️ Ya men definitely can get bullied by women, but ITV will not not dwelve upon such topics- TRP audience definitely will not accept it.

I am dreading GauRa's reaction actually 😕 They are going to happily blame Shiva and make it look like he was solely responsible for the marriage breaking- not only them, I have a feeling that the whole family is going to go on a ignore Shiva mode.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely want Shiva to get the danda for mistreating Raavi- irrespective of how the person in front treats you, there is a level you should not cross, and Shiva seriously needs to learn that. Shiva has to learn to be the bigger person, and especially learn to manage his anger. I am all for it.

But I want someone in the Pandya Universe to have his back. Not the "Tu khara sona hai" crap 🤢 I want someone to genuinely listen to him air out his issues. What is the point of family if for all your issues you have to grapple alone on a tree? Dhara and Dev are the least helpful of the lot 😐 I have lost hope in the actual family members at this point.

Since this is ITV we won't get such scenes, but maybe Shiva finds a friend, or maybe Hardik can help. And I want this person to help Shiva without the lens of Raavi- show him that he first needs to remove Raavi and their history from the equation and work on himself.

The family is anyways going to support Raavi- it is clear from the SBS. I just want someone to be there for Shiva 😢

Originally posted by: _charu_

Nopes..real life may be more sickening ..its just that , as a third person's story we find it romantic bec everything turns out to be fine later on but in real life it doesn't...as long as it's not somebody's reality they won't feel the pain.

Itv must enforce the concept of "respect and boundaries" in all relationships.

Oh yeah!! That’s what I mean. I’m real life toh there are so many people stuck in abusive relationships.

Our entertainment shouldn’t make light of it.

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

I'll start out by saying Let's all agree to disagree here. We all have polarizing views on the topic 😆

I personally don't like Raavi- I have read a lot of views in the past few days, and while my dislike has tempered, I still dislike her. So my views are probably colored.

But here is my take:

- I still stand by the fact that Raavi is clueless.

So if she did know he had inferiority complex, why not bring it up when they were in their room and she was harping "compromise". If anything, Shiva has been too consistent- his words reek of his insecurities. Yet she never addressed those directly. She kept saying "ya I said those, why are you stuck on those words? move on, let's just somehow make this work". For all her kindness, she never thought to somhow convey to him that she does think highly of him. Go back to the dialogues she uses- she points out that he tied mangalsutra, he is married to her- not once is there mention of how he is as a person. If she had a clue- they would have had this screaming match alone at home, not in the middle of the road 😕 It looks more to me that her "inferiority complex" comment came up because he beat her "cool" friends, and not as an epiphany of how Shiva actually feels.

- Junglee Gawar Jaahil

While Maami might have sown the seeds of the taunts, Raavi definitely has carried it forward. If you go back to her behavior pre- marriage and post marriage before Mukteshwar, you can subtly see it. That is the problem- her disdain is more in her actions and attitude, so it is easy to miss. Shiva is on the face, so he seems more aggressive.

You might point out that she was hurting because of her marriage- but that is not excuse to take it out on Shiva. To add insult to injury, she always treated Dev well- heck she never even avoided him, and when he asked a measly sorry, she was more than happy to forgive. But for Shiva she gets to call him a Gawar, her biggest punishment in life and what not? Infelt it was double standards.

Also, seeing the recent scenes I am even more convinced that Raavi has been making fun of him since maybe her teenage years. So while his anger with her might have started with Maami, I am mostly convinced the grown up Shiva had an aversion to Raavi because she despised him. All her talk of Shiva accepting and repecting her was for Shiva to put her on a pedestal, like he did for Dhara. It had nothing to do with him as an individual- he only had value as being a part of Pandya family- nothing more, nothing less.

- Shiva does NOT get support from his family

Yup you heard that right- his family love him to death and back, but no, nobody really supports him. Think about his interactions with Gaumbi, Dhara and Dev- the pattern is invariably "You are pure gold, You are not looking from our perspective, you are doing wrong with Raavi, You need to move on with Raavi and make her happy"

No one- not one single person, has sat him down and asked "How are you doing Shiva, why are you so off? Why do you feel you are not upto her?" He starts sharing his feelings, and they shut him down saying he needs to move on. That is NOT support.

Imagine this- you have a problem which overwhelms you, and you are not able to handle it alone. If you come to me and all I say is "oh you are capable, you will figure it out"- will that really help allay all your fears? No, I am just giving you encouragement. What actually would help is if I say "what is the problem? Why are you stuck? Maybe you could try XYZ , or talk to ABC" - That is giving support.

- Shiva wants Acceptance more than love

This is again a personal take- but I feel Shiva might have been ok even if Raavi did not love him, as long as she had conveyed that she was happy with the person he really is. Based on what I have seen, Raavi just wants to maintain a status quo and not go too deep. Yes, she wants to change herself to his needs- but not because she feels he is worth it, but because she somehow needs to make this marriage work. She makes me feel like she has a disability that she had to learn how to live with as opposed to building a life with someone 😕

All said and done, I liked that Raavi stood up for herself, and believe me, I loved her when she gave him that slap- he needed it. He is indeed out of control and needs to find his centre again.

But I still don't think Raavi is good for Shiva. Shiva need not be so far gone in his insecurities- but Raavi does not help make it better either. I would rather both be happy and peaceful with other people.

Shiva needs redemption- definitely. He needs to see where his flaws are and how to improve them. But if they show him grovelling to Raavi and completely changing himself for her- I will officially stop watching the show 😳 Raavi is not completely right here and they need to point out that too. Otherwise ShiVi don't make sense to me at all.

This became too long 🙈 Sorry 🙈🙈 I am trying to grapple with this- I normally don't have love-hate relationships with serial characters 😆 ShiVi have driven me crazy

This is fabulous!! I’m not much of a writer so at times, I find I can’t convey my points across successfully.

This is it!!! Bravo 👏🏼

Originally posted by: _charu_

I don't like raavi either..she lacks substance..but she has a lot of good in her n uske saath bahut kuch bura hua hai , she has suffered a lot but still try to be happy in her environment..she made peace with her fate way too soon ..she is a normal girl who led a cushioned life..

If I heard her complaining about Shiva, I would say she is a shallow immature girl but I have never seen her picking up fights With him..she saw the good in him too but he failed to do so..she just answers back when he is rude to her unnecessarily which she should..otherwise she is generally good to him , smiling at him, serving him ,he doesn't even deserve that With that kind of behavior. Why should raavi try to read shivas mind ? Nobody can..nobody is antaryami...what is her value in shivas life? she is not feeding his insecurities..that's his problem n he should deal with it...dhara is facing taunts from all sides but she didn't lose her sanity over people's opinions on her. He DID act like a jungli today . And she is NOT characterless.

I agree with you on some points but Raavi does have her own share of mistakes. Even if I leave out today's outburst, she has called Shiva gawar even in the haveli and complained about his dressing sense to Dhara . Even if I give the complaint about dress and masala smells a pass in the name of hygiene, such name callings are uncalled for.

And tbh I've always thought Raavi to be a shallow person . She has lived in her delusional world with Dev and wanted to marry him without ever wanting to know about his feelings. Even her friend circle hints towards that. Otherwise no sensible person starts talking about and make fun of their friend's husband in that way , that too in a public place. Raavi along with her friends have always judged people going by their superficial traits.

And yes, she does feed his insecurities. After the diary incident, Raavi did have a clue about where Shiva insecurities are stemming from but she went on to make fun of his clothes with the brothers. Even with their relationship, her leaving him and walking out of the marriage would have been fine. But repeatedly talking about majboori and compromise while wanting to stay in the marriage is bound to trigger a sense of inferiority in the other person.

As for Dhara, she has people to support. She has the strongest support in the form of Gaumbi ( and also 3 devars) who she knows will stand by and listen to her no matter what the situation is. So I'm not going to compare her state with Shiva's.

And lastly, I do agree the way Shiva has behaved with Raavi out of his insecurities by manhandling , yelling and also questioning her character lately is beyond justification. Nobody deserves such treatment. Shiva's character has indeed hit the abyss with this insecurity track.

Originally posted by: SlytherInMe.

well until yesterday's episode, the way they had been showing raavi was that she was completely clueless about what's going on with Shiva and wasn't picking up on just how deeply affected he was by Sneha's words and her constant nagging about compromising

then all the sudden it's as if she had some sort of epiphany and coined it as inferiority complex, which while it is true, isn't really fair to Shiva as she has made subtle comments about him being lesser than her due to education and clothes

I feel it's natural to want to hold onto yourself and expect people to love you the way you are and that's how it should be but no matter how strong you are, some words to cut deep - I have trolled him incessantly about being so butthurt and how I didn't think it fitted his character graph but after repeated insults it's bound to get to you - I thought his outburst yesterday was just a small preview of all the pain he has been going through

we're not invincible, words hurt and sometimes raavi can be insensitive

previously I used to think it was just maami who thought that about him but the diary incident made it clear that raavi used to talk about him in that way as well and in fact has brought up words such as junglee and gawar after marriage as well

they've both done so much to hurt each other, both of them are wrong in my opinion and both need time apart

This is what I think so too..if we look at their pre wedding equation or more accurately until the muktheshwar part, it would be unfair to judge them based on those behaviour..because both of them were too rude to be justified...but now they have changed a lot..shiva changed right after marrg and started giving respect to Raavi even though he still fought with her ..and ravi changed after muktheshwar when she realised shiva was always there for her when she needed..and right now shiva and raavi is not fighting like two enemies..but like a couple who has no understanding among themselves.. these people have more attachments and care along with anger and dispute towards each other..ravi..she believes if they could live under the roof being there for each other,that's marrg for her..and shiva needs raavi as a partner.. he knows what he feels..and he is thinking too much..about the pros and cons of their relationship..he is thinking for raavi.and so he is judging himself very badly ..that too based on the judgements of some people from the past who has no understanding about ravi or shivas current equation...both of them need development..some time out to calm down and understand themselves..shiva needs to knw he is good enough...when raavi was fighting with him today..I liked her choice of words for one line....thu doosro ke bathein sunke apne asthithva apne kabikiyath pe sawaal udhatha hein....this was such an impactful line...if she considered him unworthy and inferior in any sense she wouldn't have told him that..but..she said a lot of wrong things too.. like he doesn't deserve any women to marry him..he is junglee gawar and she regretted marrying him.. I am hoping she will regret once she start understanding shivas feelings.. why he did what he did..he cannot be justified for what he did..but he could be understood..

I am ranting a lot trying to be neutral to both.. since there is a lot of emotions involved and hell lot of abusive language between them, its difficult to justify any..

Originally posted by: Namita-M

I’m no Raavi fan but Dev/Dhara/Gaumbi cheated her. She might be an idiot but she didn’t deserve that.

Shiva was the only one who told Dev to tell the truth. I don’t understand why Raavi forgave them so easily. I was hoping she was going to rip Dev a new one.

Agreed. I really wanted Raavi to take time for warming up to Dhara and also the family for that matter. It was unrealistically rushed.

Originally posted by: Raingoddess

Genuine question: correct me if I’m wrong, I thought his bike skidded because the wheels were worn out and the street was not in good condition? Did it happen on purpose? I thought it was purely accidental?

Also, I thought he wasn’t able to check on Raavi because he was trying to get off from the bike while it was skidding and was trying to keep it from falling onto him. I probably need to rewatch but that’s what I thought. The rest… yeah let’s just say violence turns me off super fast. It was inhumane the way he beat the boys. They were wrong no doubt, but Shiva wasn’t right either. Nor was Raavi.

Yes one of the CFA memebers specifically memtions worn out tires.

And yes he was just getting off the bike- give him a moment to breathe, he would have definitely checked on her 😕 If he had immediately turned the bike would have fallen 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

Yes one of the CFA memebers specifically memtions worn out tires.

And yes he was just getting off the bike- give him a moment to breathe, he would have definitely checked on her 😕 If he had immediately turned the bike would have fallen 🤷‍♀️

Yep if he had turned, the bike could have fallen on his legs and given the way it was skidding, that would have been a disaster. Plus, anyone would be shaken up by something like that. Keeping everything else aside, I have no doubt Shiva would have checked to make sure Raavi is okay.

Originally posted by: Raingoddess

Yep if he had turned, the bike could have fallen on his legs and given the way it was skidding, that would have been a disaster. Plus, anyone would be shaken up by something like that. Keeping everything else aside, I have no doubt Shiva would have checked to make sure Raavi is okay.

It’s important to make sure one is okay be checking on someone else.

Nothing wrong in it.

The bike didn’t randomly fall over nor Shiva made it fall.

Some are saying he did it on purpose. Are we watching the same show?? 😆