Pandya Store|Episode Discussion#79|Shaadi Ka Galat Faisla (GREEN) - Page 67

Originally posted by: _charu_

She acts clueless about what ? If she was clueless she won't be telling him the truth in black and white today. And how can she help.shiva ? And why does Shiva need support ? Does his family not love him enuf ? Didn't dev try to tell him.his behavior is wrong with raavi? he is so adamant in "main aisa hi hoon jisko pyar karna hai aise hi karle". So when he doesn't expect anyone to love him , from where did the insecurity pop in?

He is lying to himself and he needs to accept. Taking daily bath is not a big feat either. It doesn't even come in the category of "I changed in love" . It's so basic to keep oneself and their clothes clean. What God has given us , this body and mind , we cannot change that , so calling anyone for the way they are is horrible. But what raavi expects from.him isn't that is , if she does. Yes education can be one factor but I have always seen raavi appreciating his hard work and love for family ..

I understand , "deep" down in his heart , he wants to be loved by raavi. Plus , he feels that he ruined her life bec she is not happy in this marriage as he is not her ideal guy. Only a person with a good heart can feel like this. So he thinks she should leave him.

BUT is it raavi or is it mami who thinks he is jungli gawar ? Coz since.childhood he has been punishing raavi in place of mami and THAT is wrong ..that's the reason raavi is more right. I supported him in the compromise scene...but the way he reacts ? I don't know. He is making raavi hate him so that she leaves him? What exactly is it?

well until yesterday's episode, the way they had been showing raavi was that she was completely clueless about what's going on with Shiva and wasn't picking up on just how deeply affected he was by Sneha's words and her constant nagging about compromising

then all the sudden it's as if she had some sort of epiphany and coined it as inferiority complex, which while it is true, isn't really fair to Shiva as she has made subtle comments about him being lesser than her due to education and clothes

I feel it's natural to want to hold onto yourself and expect people to love you the way you are and that's how it should be but no matter how strong you are, some words to cut deep - I have trolled him incessantly about being so butthurt and how I didn't think it fitted his character graph but after repeated insults it's bound to get to you - I thought his outburst yesterday was just a small preview of all the pain he has been going through

we're not invincible, words hurt and sometimes raavi can be insensitive

previously I used to think it was just maami who thought that about him but the diary incident made it clear that raavi used to talk about him in that way as well and in fact has brought up words such as junglee and gawar after marriage as well

they've both done so much to hurt each other, both of them are wrong in my opinion and both need time apart

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

Ya I am supremely confused- I thought they lived close to the temple because they seemed to go there at a drop of a hat.

But it looks like it is actually 25kms away 😐

The temple they walked to is probably the main temple?? And the other like a suburb temple?

Originally posted by: _charu_

She acts clueless about what ? If she was clueless she won't be telling him the truth in black and white today. And how can she help.shiva ? And why does Shiva need support ? Does his family not love him enuf ? Didn't dev try to tell him.his behavior is wrong with raavi? he is so adamant in "main aisa hi hoon jisko pyar karna hai aise hi karle". So when he doesn't expect anyone to love him , from where did the insecurity pop in?

He is lying to himself and he needs to accept. Taking daily bath is not a big feat either. It doesn't even come in the category of "I changed in love" . It's so basic to keep oneself and their clothes clean. What God has given us , this body and mind , we cannot change that , so calling anyone for the way they are is horrible. But what raavi expects from.him isn't that is , if she does. Yes education can be one factor but I have always seen raavi appreciating his hard work and love for family ..

I understand , "deep" down in his heart , he wants to be loved by raavi. Plus , he feels that he ruined her life bec she is not happy in this marriage as he is not her ideal guy. Only a person with a good heart can feel like this. So he thinks she should leave him.

BUT is it raavi or is it mami who thinks he is jungli gawar ? Coz since.childhood he has been punishing raavi in place of mami and THAT is wrong ..that's the reason raavi is more right. I supported him in the compromise scene...but the way he reacts ? I don't know. He is making raavi hate him so that she leaves him? What exactly is it?

I'll start out by saying Let's all agree to disagree here. We all have polarizing views on the topic 😆

I personally don't like Raavi- I have read a lot of views in the past few days, and while my dislike has tempered, I still dislike her. So my views are probably colored.

But here is my take:

- I still stand by the fact that Raavi is clueless.

So if she did know he had inferiority complex, why not bring it up when they were in their room and she was harping "compromise". If anything, Shiva has been too consistent- his words reek of his insecurities. Yet she never addressed those directly. She kept saying "ya I said those, why are you stuck on those words? move on, let's just somehow make this work". For all her kindness, she never thought to somhow convey to him that she does think highly of him. Go back to the dialogues she uses- she points out that he tied mangalsutra, he is married to her- not once is there mention of how he is as a person. If she had a clue- they would have had this screaming match alone at home, not in the middle of the road 😕 It looks more to me that her "inferiority complex" comment came up because he beat her "cool" friends, and not as an epiphany of how Shiva actually feels.

- Junglee Gawar Jaahil

While Maami might have sown the seeds of the taunts, Raavi definitely has carried it forward. If you go back to her behavior pre- marriage and post marriage before Mukteshwar, you can subtly see it. That is the problem- her disdain is more in her actions and attitude, so it is easy to miss. Shiva is on the face, so he seems more aggressive.

You might point out that she was hurting because of her marriage- but that is not excuse to take it out on Shiva. To add insult to injury, she always treated Dev well- heck she never even avoided him, and when he asked a measly sorry, she was more than happy to forgive. But for Shiva she gets to call him a Gawar, her biggest punishment in life and what not? Infelt it was double standards.

Also, seeing the recent scenes I am even more convinced that Raavi has been making fun of him since maybe her teenage years. So while his anger with her might have started with Maami, I am mostly convinced the grown up Shiva had an aversion to Raavi because she despised him. All her talk of Shiva accepting and repecting her was for Shiva to put her on a pedestal, like he did for Dhara. It had nothing to do with him as an individual- he only had value as being a part of Pandya family- nothing more, nothing less.

- Shiva does NOT get support from his family

Yup you heard that right- his family love him to death and back, but no, nobody really supports him. Think about his interactions with Gaumbi, Dhara and Dev- the pattern is invariably "You are pure gold, You are not looking from our perspective, you are doing wrong with Raavi, You need to move on with Raavi and make her happy"

No one- not one single person, has sat him down and asked "How are you doing Shiva, why are you so off? Why do you feel you are not upto her?" He starts sharing his feelings, and they shut him down saying he needs to move on. That is NOT support.

Imagine this- you have a problem which overwhelms you, and you are not able to handle it alone. If you come to me and all I say is "oh you are capable, you will figure it out"- will that really help allay all your fears? No, I am just giving you encouragement. What actually would help is if I say "what is the problem? Why are you stuck? Maybe you could try XYZ , or talk to ABC" - That is giving support.

- Shiva wants Acceptance more than love

This is again a personal take- but I feel Shiva might have been ok even if Raavi did not love him, as long as she had conveyed that she was happy with the person he really is. Based on what I have seen, Raavi just wants to maintain a status quo and not go too deep. Yes, she wants to change herself to his needs- but not because she feels he is worth it, but because she somehow needs to make this marriage work. She makes me feel like she has a disability that she had to learn how to live with as opposed to building a life with someone 😕

All said and done, I liked that Raavi stood up for herself, and believe me, I loved her when she gave him that slap- he needed it. He is indeed out of control and needs to find his centre again.

But I still don't think Raavi is good for Shiva. Shiva need not be so far gone in his insecurities- but Raavi does not help make it better either. I would rather both be happy and peaceful with other people.

Shiva needs redemption- definitely. He needs to see where his flaws are and how to improve them. But if they show him grovelling to Raavi and completely changing himself for her- I will officially stop watching the show 😳 Raavi is not completely right here and they need to point out that too. Otherwise ShiVi don't make sense to me at all.

This became too long 🙈 Sorry 🙈🙈 I am trying to grapple with this- I normally don't have love-hate relationships with serial characters 😆 ShiVi have driven me crazy

Originally posted by: Miss.M

The temple they walked to is probably the main temple?? And the other like a suburb temple?

Ohh ya that makes sense

Not sure how Somnath temple is structured 😆

Ive just realised that all pandya bros are Gunda boys 😂😂

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

Ohh ya that makes sense

Not sure how Somnath temple is structured 😆

I think the temple they supposedly walked to would be the one they showed initially. But they obviously cannot go back to Somnath so they made their own one 😂

Originally posted by: Miss.M

Ive just realised that all pandya bros are Gunda boys 😂😂

Well technically Krish has to prove himself, right 🤣 He has not hit anyone yet, has he 🤔

Originally posted by: _charu_

Wrong jaisa wrong ?. he literally disbalanced his bike in rage , the bike almost fell over raavi but he was more concerned about the commentary from behind. 🤢 he didn't see if raavi was hurt or no...He wanted to get up and thrash her friends. The same thing Mr chavan did last week which led to his wife almost fatal accident on road coz she just walked away in anger , but shivas action was equally worse. Both mls acting out of possessiveness and insecurity coz they are in love but cant confess, then cry buckets and apologize till the fl melts..Shiva probably won't apologize also ..

Let's not talk about that guy he is a sorry excuse of male lead. He and his family both r highly toxic. They are in the list of worst ml and worst ITV family.

I hope Shiva apologize. I really want it to happen.

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

I'll start out by saying Let's all agree to disagree here. We all have polarizing views on the topic 😆

I personally don't like Raavi- I have read a lot of views in the past few days, and while my dislike has tempered, I still dislike her. So my views are probably colored.

But here is my take:

- I still stand by the fact that Raavi is clueless.

So if she did know he had inferiority complex, why not bring it up when they were in their room and she was harping "compromise". If anything, Shiva has been too consistent- his words reek of his insecurities. Yet she never addressed those directly. She kept saying "ya I said those, why are you stuck on those words? move on, let's just somehow make this work". For all her kindness, she never thought to somhow convey to him that she does think highly of him. Go back to the dialogues she uses- she points out that he tied mangalsutra, he is married to her- not once is there mention of how he is as a person. If she had a clue- they would have had this screaming match alone at home, not in the middle of the road 😕 It looks more to me that her "inferiority complex" comment came up because he beat her "cool" friends, and not as an epiphany of how Shiva actually feels.

- Junglee Gawar Jaahil

While Maami might have sown the seeds of the taunts, Raavi definitely has carried it forward. If you go back to her behavior pre- marriage and post marriage before Mukteshwar, you can subtly see it. That is the problem- her disdain is more in her actions and attitude, so it is easy to miss. Shiva is on the face, so he seems more aggressive.

You might point out that she was hurting because of her marriage- but that is not excuse to take it out on Shiva. To add insult to injury, she always treated Dev well- heck she never even avoided him, and when he asked a measly sorry, she was more than happy to forgive. But for Shiva she gets to call him a Gawar, her biggest punishment in life and what not? Infelt it was double standards.

Also, seeing the recent scenes I am even more convinced that Raavi has been making fun of him since maybe her teenage years. So while his anger with her might have started with Maami, I am mostly convinced the grown up Shiva had an aversion to Raavi because she despised him. All her talk of Shiva accepting and repecting her was for Shiva to put her on a pedestal, like he did for Dhara. It had nothing to do with him as an individual- he only had value as being a part of Pandya family- nothing more, nothing less.

- Shiva does NOT get support from his family

Yup you heard that right- his family love him to death and back, but no, nobody really supports him. Think about his interactions with Gaumbi, Dhara and Dev- the pattern is invariably "You are pure gold, You are not looking from our perspective, you are doing wrong with Raavi, You need to move on with Raavi and make her happy"

No one- not one single person, has sat him down and asked "How are you doing Shiva, why are you so off? Why do you feel you are not upto her?" He starts sharing his feelings, and they shut him down saying he needs to move on. That is NOT support.

Imagine this- you have a problem which overwhelms you, and you are not able to handle it alone. If you come to me and all I say is "oh you are capable, you will figure it out"- will that really help allay all your fears? No, I am just giving you encouragement. What actually would help is if I say "what is the problem? Why are you stuck? Maybe you could try XYZ , or talk to ABC" - That is giving support.

- Shiva wants Acceptance more than love

This is again a personal take- but I feel Shiva might have been ok even if Raavi did not love him, as long as she had conveyed that she was happy with the person he really is. Based on what I have seen, Raavi just wants to maintain a status quo and not go too deep. Yes, she wants to change herself to his needs- but not because she feels he is worth it, but because she somehow needs to make this marriage work. She makes me feel like she has a disability that she had to learn how to live with as opposed to building a life with someone 😕

All said and done, I liked that Raavi stood up for herself, and believe me, I loved her when she gave him that slap- he needed it. He is indeed out of control and needs to find his centre again.

But I still don't think Raavi is good for Shiva. Shiva need not be so far gone in his insecurities- but Raavi does not help make it better either. I would rather both be happy and peaceful with other people.

Shiva needs redemption- definitely. He needs to see where his flaws are and how to improve them. But if they show him grovelling to Raavi and completely changing himself for her- I will officially stop watching the show 😳 Raavi is not completely right here and they need to point out that too. Otherwise ShiVi don't make sense to me at all.

This became too long 🙈 Sorry 🙈🙈 I am trying to grapple with this- I normally don't have love-hate relationships with serial characters 😆 ShiVi have driven me crazy

Very well written post. 🤗 Exhausted from work won’t go into the specific details on the confrontation (I feel like I’ll end up writing more than an essay 😆).

But @Bold caught my eye. Recently I have been thinking and I really do feel like the bullying and name calling went both ways, except like you pointed it out Raavi was more subtle. We have always seen Shiva call Raavi MaamiKiBehenKiBeti and treat her badly. But the more I think of it, the more I believe she has done her share of it during their teenage and early adulthood years. Even in their childhood. Unfortunately, ITV and even Bollywood (most of the time) won’t really go into the bullying and subsequence trauma faced by men at the hands of women. I feel like such things have no connection to gender but we tend to overlook instances of women bullying men. Or girls bullying boys.

I truly believe Raavi, as kind hearted as she is… is capable of bullying and saying things that can be hurtful. I knew some girls in high school and middle school who were not malicious (in fact they have grown into much better people later on)…. But they would either go along with the usual group when it comes to teasing someone or will through their own actions, belittle someone. I think her choice of friends give you an idea of what she must have done in the name of “fun”.

A lot of us were wondering why Sneha’s words alone affected Shiva so much. I’m starting to think that this isn’t the first time this exact scene has played out. Except, it’s always been Raavi in place of Sneha and perhaps a more laughing/not so malicious tone was used. But the scene playing out was exactly the same.

The writers didn’t show us any of this but I wonder if Shiva was reminded of all the times Raavi has done the exact same thing as Sneha, further showing him how far apart their worlds are. It wasn’t Sneha who bothered him, rather it was the memories associated with her words and the feeling of deja vu… it came down to Raavi. The diary further solidified those emotions. Both have done a number on each other. It’s the biggest reason why GauRa cannot understand their situation nor should they use themselves as an example. Gautam and Dhara were truly friends before their wedding. They had beautiful memories of growing up together. Shiva and Raavi don’t. Especially when they are intense emotions, bullying, name calling, etc… associated with it. Both are right in their own way… you can’t hold on to the past but you also cannot erase it completely and move forward. It has to be addressed. How I wish the makers would take this opportunity to go back to their childhood. Anyway, I ended up writing an essay and successfully diverted from the topic 😆

Originally posted by: _charu_

Wrong jaisa wrong ?. he literally disbalanced his bike in rage , the bike almost fell over raavi but he was more concerned about the commentary from behind. 🤢 he didn't see if raavi was hurt or no...He wanted to get up and thrash her friends. The same thing Mr chavan did last week which led to his wife almost fatal accident on road coz she just walked away in anger , but shivas action was equally worse. Both mls acting out of possessiveness and insecurity coz they are in love but cant confess, then cry buckets and apologize till the fl melts..Shiva probably won't apologize also ..

Genuine question: correct me if I’m wrong, I thought his bike skidded because the wheels were worn out and the street was not in good condition? Did it happen on purpose? I thought it was purely accidental?

Also, I thought he wasn’t able to check on Raavi because he was trying to get off from the bike while it was skidding and was trying to keep it from falling onto him. I probably need to rewatch but that’s what I thought. The rest… yeah let’s just say violence turns me off super fast. It was inhumane the way he beat the boys. They were wrong no doubt, but Shiva wasn’t right either. Nor was Raavi.