Beauty Norms, Genetic Benevolence & Marriage-Shivi - Page 2

Wonderful post Piu di, that is your name right?

It's so true that Raavi believes in societal norms and expectations. But I wouldn't blame her for it, or for her lack of ambition. It was simply the way she was brought up....

As for Shiva, his pain is so real.... Kanwar's eyes act out half the scene for us more often than not.. He is truly gifted in that way. I'd actually say that Shiva's pain is because of his expectations, to a level...

To Raavi, Shiva truly is the junglee baaloo he claims to be. You might throw a fish to a bear from a distance away, but you don't go and feed it do you? I think that Shiva's behavior towards Raavi over the years has caused Raavi to maintain a certain distance, to be emotionally detached from him. It's as if she were throwing fish to a bear, as I said, she loves it in her own way, she'd love the idea of the bear accepting her, but if it were to turn around and growl at her, she wouldn't be surprised beyond the initial moment of fear...

If Raavi is wrong in not understanding Shiva's insecurities (this is despite him being the emotionally dominant person in their relationship more often than not, but that's a discussion for a later time), then Shiva is wrong in not understanding why Raavi feels that his acceptance of their relationship is enough (despite her wanting passion in a relationship of this sort otherwise).

Well, point being, they're both making mistakes because they refuse to see the others point of view.

Lunch time awaits me di, so hola amigos. ❤

Originally posted by: Pottermeow

Wonderful post Piu di, that is your name right?

It's so true that Raavi believes in societal norms and expectations. But I wouldn't blame her for it, or for her lack of ambition. It was simply the way she was brought up....

As for Shiva, his pain is so real.... Kanwar's eyes act out half the scene for us more often than not.. He is truly gifted in that way. I'd actually say that Shiva's pain is because of his expectations, to a level...

To Raavi, Shiva truly is the junglee baaloo he claims to be. You might throw a fish to a bear from a distance away, but you don't go and feed it do you? I think that Shiva's behavior towards Raavi over the years has caused Raavi to maintain a certain distance, to be emotionally detached from him. It's as if she were throwing fish to a bear, as I said, she loves it in her own way, she'd love the idea of the bear accepting her, but if it were to turn around and growl at her, she wouldn't be surprised beyond the initial moment of fear...

If Raavi is wrong in not understanding Shiva's insecurities (this is despite him being the emotionally dominant person in their relationship more often than not, but that's a discussion for a later time), then Shiva is wrong in not understanding why Raavi feels that his acceptance of their relationship is enough (despite her wanting passion in a relationship of this sort otherwise).

Well, point being, they're both making mistakes because they refuse to see the others point of view.

Lunch time awaits me di, so hola amigos. ❤

Yes i truly beileve both are right and both are wrong in there own ways.

As discussed by Piu previously both has fears, For shiva it is fear of acceptance of how he is and for raavi it is fear of love.

But they both dont know what the other person wants. They are not refusing to accept others but they both are unaware of it.

If we see the previous few episodes, all shiva has said to raavi is of tel masala taunt and i think raavi does not take it as insecurity but shiva being angry for what raavi has written and her friend said. Thats why raavi is not concern for shiva's anger as she thinks that these is of daily occurence where shiva is angry but the truth is faraway from that. For shiva right now he is drawn in his insecurity that he is not best for raavi.

I personally think both have not accepted the marriage as shiva thinks what raavi was before marriage through her dairy and sneha and for raavi, she does not know shiva has started to like her, she also thinks that he hates her right now as he was before marriage. Both of them are stuck of other person point of view which was of before marriage.

They both really need to communicate to understand where they stand, what other person wants, else they will always run in MU.

Brilliant Post Piu and thanks for tagging.

Beauty has always been a benchmark for society however much we try to appreciate character and thinking. Especially for ladies. I have myself seen that while talking to a girl the first statement is rarely about her academic prowess or her kindness or her talents like dancing or singing or writing. Somehow the first statement is usually related to her appearance- if she is looking beautiful or what she should do so that she appears more beautiful. Same has been shown for Raavi- beauty of the skin not her kindness or forgiveness or ability to move on but beauty of her smile and her eyes. (Well I must say that I am disappointed that they brought in seniors who just said about her looks- In college we do have seniors we are close with who guide us and have fun with us at the same time. If only the CVs could have used them to bring forth a side of Raavi unknown to Pandyas, maybe she was good at organising events or the life of party or they could have said the kind of job Raavi would do well in in addition to adding fuel to Shiva's insecurity)

Now Raavi is a girl who has seen beauty and marriage to be the standard to society- Anita, maami, sneha and society at large too. She herself brings in her identity as Somnath's sabse sundar ladki. We have to face it- we try to fit in to the society's definition more often than not. Very few have the courage to go against the norms. Now with Raavi identifying herself with her beauty alone, the rejection should have been a blow to her. It breaks her very identity- she is not the desirable girl she claims to be I would love it if they show that Raavi is afraid of falling in love again, afraid that she can't handle another rejection and hence her desperation to maintain status quo with Shiva as she can't bring herself to hope that he would love her. Raavi slowly convinces Shiva that he is the best for her despite not being the Prince Charming but she does not say she loves him. Gradually Shiva notices that Raavi is holding herself back and realizes that she is afraid to hope, to love. Its his turn to provide her with security. ( I believe that humiliation of being left at tha mandap should have had some lasting effect on Raavi not of anger but at least a feeling of not being enough for somebody)

For Shiva what can I say? I can feel his pain and his heart break. For the first time in his life, he wants to fit in, to be what Raavi wants her husband to be. It has been discussed in detail already. And all I can say is that it is really difficult for both of them. The feeling of not being enough is not something anybody should go through. He is burning in his own private hell- breaking himself. Wanting more for her yet he cannot leave her( the same society would break her down and he has seen her attempt suicide after the humiliation). He cannot let her go for his sake or her sake yet he cannot move forward with her either.

That being said I don't really expect the makers to do justice to Raavi's lasting fear of falling in love again or if they would even go that route. We have as a forum delved deeper into the characters than CVs at the moment- the continuity and connection is missing from the story( don't blame them either- they need the trps). But I do believe her POV is better explained if we go this way- she is not stupid, she is just afraid. Afraid of falling in love again. Afraid of being rejected again. She is the same happy girl but now she has a fear at the back of her mind. She desperately wants to keep the relation with Shiva intact and she does try hard( whether bring him gifts or try to talk to him or see to it that he has biscuits in addition to chai) . Yet I don't think the idea will ever occur to her that Shiva is falling for her and believing himself unworthy of her. Raavi has seen Shiva's anger- she has seen Shiva not wanting her to be a part of the family. She has seen him rough with her. As a audience we saw him fall for her, but what did Raavi see? A compliment about Chipkaliyon ki beauty queen. Shiva flirting with her( his attempt was showing his inexperience). I don't think that would be enough for a girl to believe that a guy who has apparently hated her all his life has started falling for her. Especially since he has rebuffed all her attempts after the diary event.

Too long again🤣Sorry 😆

OG had also shown a scene where kathir was insecure about him smelling of tel masala And he hesitates to sit near mullai....but there mullai talks to him and him being not angry helped alot....he understood her pt of view

I hope for a moment atleast, Shiva comes out of his angry mode and Raavi out of her dobi mode ..and then talk...that might help

Lovely post as always! Thanks for the tag, Piu!❤️

Now this made me think, Raavi has always been referred to someone as very beautiful person.. Right from her introduction to now, she is Somnath's most beautiful girl.. She is a phool jaisi bacchi.. we have had enough mentions of that from everyone now.. As you mentioned, her friends mostly remember her for her looks and nothing beyond that, at this point of time, I doubt even if Raavi would not know the kind of character she is. If she's asked, she probably might just say she's a beautiful girl and very fashionable one.. She's more than that, to me how much of an airhead she is, she's as strong as Dhara and Rishita, she necessarily doesn't need to voice out but she definitely is strong. She is someone who wants to be loved but not by force, she gave up on Dev the minute she knew he was in love with someone else, she forgave him when he apologised wholeheartedly, it is always the hardest step to forgive someone who just turned your life upside down, she forgets and forgives and gives only love, which I feel she's been deprived of since childhood.. but I adore the fact that she loves herself and acknowledges that she's beautiful, that never felt arrogant to me.. For her to realise that Shiva is behaving different to her because of him thinking that he's not enough for her, doesn't consider him handsome enough would be the last thing as she never felt ugly..

Coming to Shiva, I could actually connect to him very easily, someone who was comfortable in his skin since long and insecurities creeping as Raavi became a permanent part of his life. As a child I gave a damn to what I wore, never actually cared what people think or perceived about me but as I grew it slowly changed.. Shiva being the husband as someone who is known to be the most beautiful girl, feeling low and helpless with thoughts of him not being fit for her is a horrible feeling. I read a post about this very insecurity which stems from the body shaming he's been subjected to as he started working for PS. Being compared to your closest relatives in itself is a worst feeling.

My mom is a very beautiful woman both inside out, she's very fair compared to me and I've always been asked if I'm really her daughter due to color difference. I as a child was on the darker side and my mom has always been fair, I've had my friends adoring my mother which I was proud of but being asked if I was really her daughter never sat well with me, I remember asking my mom, why I was not fair like her.. She always held me and said colours really never mattered... as I grew up, I really felt low about myself, if I'm even being fashionable, do I dress good or look good compared to the peers around me and why am I not able to make friends and stay with them on a longer term, tho I'm kinda getting out of this slowly, trying to be strong and shoo away these thoughts, I could easily feel what Shiva is going through...

This insecurity track has very good potential for two reasons, one for Raavi to realise that she has always been known only for her beauty and she's much more as a person and for Shiva to know that he could be accepted the way he is, for the person he is..

Okay, sorry for the long rant 😅

Originally posted by: Scarysea

Brilliant Post Piu and thanks for tagging.

Beauty has always been a benchmark for society however much we try to appreciate character and thinking. Especially for ladies. I have myself seen that while talking to a girl the first statement is rarely about her academic prowess or her kindness or her talents like dancing or singing or writing. Somehow the first statement is usually related to her appearance- if she is looking beautiful or what she should do so that she appears more beautiful. Same has been shown for Raavi- beauty of the skin not her kindness or forgiveness or ability to move on but beauty of her smile and her eyes. (Well I must say that I am disappointed that they brought in seniors who just said about her looks- In college we do have seniors we are close with who guide us and have fun with us at the same time. If only the CVs could have used them to bring forth a side of Raavi unknown to Pandyas, maybe she was good at organising events or the life of party or they could have said the kind of job Raavi would do well in in addition to adding fuel to Shiva's insecurity)

Now Raavi is a girl who has seen beauty and marriage to be the standard to society- Anita, maami, sneha and society at large too. She herself brings in her identity as Somnath's sabse sundar ladki. We have to face it- we try to fit in to the society's definition more often than not. Very few have the courage to go against the norms. Now with Raavi identifying herself with her beauty alone, the rejection should have been a blow to her. It breaks her very identity- she is not the desirable girl she claims to be I would love it if they show that Raavi is afraid of falling in love again, afraid that she can't handle another rejection and hence her desperation to maintain status quo with Shiva as she can't bring herself to hope that he would love her. Raavi slowly convinces Shiva that he is the best for her despite not being the Prince Charming but she does not say she loves him. Gradually Shiva notices that Raavi is holding herself back and realizes that she is afraid to hope, to love. Its his turn to provide her with security. ( I believe that humiliation of being left at tha mandap should have had some lasting effect on Raavi not of anger but at least a feeling of not being enough for somebody)

For Shiva what can I say? I can feel his pain and his heart break. For the first time in his life, he wants to fit in, to be what Raavi wants her husband to be. It has been discussed in detail already. And all I can say is that it is really difficult for both of them. The feeling of not being enough is not something anybody should go through. He is burning in his own private hell- breaking himself. Wanting more for her yet he cannot leave her( the same society would break her down and he has seen her attempt suicide after the humiliation). He cannot let her go for his sake or her sake yet he cannot move forward with her either.

That being said I don't really expect the makers to do justice to Raavi's lasting fear of falling in love again or if they would even go that route. We have as a forum delved deeper into the characters than CVs at the moment- the continuity and connection is missing from the story( don't blame them either- they need the trps). But I do believe her POV is better explained if we go this way- she is not stupid, she is just afraid. Afraid of falling in love again. Afraid of being rejected again. She is the same happy girl but now she has a fear at the back of her mind. She desperately wants to keep the relation with Shiva intact and she does try hard( whether bring him gifts or try to talk to him or see to it that he has biscuits in addition to chai) . Yet I don't think the idea will ever occur to her that Shiva is falling for her and believing himself unworthy of her. Raavi has seen Shiva's anger- she has seen Shiva not wanting her to be a part of the family. She has seen him rough with her. As a audience we saw him fall for her, but what did Raavi see? A compliment about Chipkaliyon ki beauty queen. Shiva flirting with her( his attempt was showing his inexperience). I don't think that would be enough for a girl to believe that a guy who has apparently hated her all his life has started falling for her. Especially since he has rebuffed all her attempts after the diary event.

Too long again🤣Sorry 😆

Woow beautiful post Chikki! 💜💜💜

UNRES my response on pg 1. Thanks for the tag!

This is such a beautiful analysis from so many prospectives. Loved it!!!

I , however disagree on some points. Please don't take me wrong, I just want to put my opinion, not dishing your points in anyway or manner. I just have a different prospective.

The way I have always seen Raavi, is that she is incredibly innocent, forgiving, giving and loving person. She is a very pure soul. She is bit of an airhead, in the sense that she is always a bit lost in her world. She is generally a harmless person, until you threatened someone she cares for, then she becomes our Sherni, otherwise, she is just a person who goes around spreading joy and happiness. In her presence, I have seen Dhara smile the most carefree smiles, Krish being the most playful, Gombi being the most indulgent big bro , Suman being the most gentle and Prafulla being the most protective, caring and loving.

Raavi is never malicious or vengeful, far from it. When she is hurt, she expresses it. When she is angry she vents it generally on Shiva, cause he brings that side of her and when she is in pain she acknowledges. She is not a shy person, she is so open about each and every one of her feelings.

When she was having a one sided love for Dev, she said it to everyone, everyone knew that she loved Dev. Whether it was crush which eventually developed into an infatuation and later into love. Or a good friendship with a well meaning, indulgent boy that turned into an infatuation that Raavi thought as love. This is unexplored as of yet and I don't know if they are going to explore this aspect of Raavi and Dev's relationship. Whatever the root of this feeling Raavi acknowledged it and went ahead and built her fantasy world. It was evident from the get go to anyone who heard her dreams and fantasy that the most she craves for are getting a Family of her own and most importantly a love of her own, the one true love who will love her to bits and will never leave her.

This Girl, I tell you, has my heart 💓 sometimes as to how simple her dreams are and yet she was denied it, in the most cruel way, it was like killing a butterfly 🦋. She broke and got the most bitter awakening to reality. I think that's why she couldn't face herself because she dreamt of one thing and just wanted a world of loving but was betrayed by the people who she accepted as her own. That what pushed her to take a drastic step. I don't condone her step but empathize with her.

Still, this girl bravely did what her loved ones wanted from her. I don't know if Raavi wasn't the girl she is, anyone in the position would had the guts to marry a guy who she knows hates her and on the top of that before her eyes marries the Guy, around whom she built her world, her beautiful loving world. Broken, she was completely! The only person to give stability to her in this situation is her freenemy, who had to see her most vernarable. Now, I don't about you, but you don't want to seem weak in front of the person who has hated you, mocked you and always tried to shrug you off like a day old bread. That was too much for this soul.

Raavi has always been praised for her beauty and like all her feelings she acknowledges this as well but never to the extend of pride. No, she just loves dressing and being beautiful. But that never made her other feel inferior to herself. She loves that people love her because she is beautiful.

This Girl, when she will fall in love for real, which she is already half way there, she will be crazy about her love to the point of losing herself completely. Even now, she only sees Shiva, his hurt, his distance and his anger. Even when she was rejected physically by her Husband, all she thought of was His Anger.

For her, He is like that playmate, who is grumpy, but you want to play with him, adore him, get his attention and generally try to be with him. Shiva is as closed about his feelings as Raavi is open. Both are feel very deeply and extremely but have the opposite way of showing it.

These two pair remind of the Korean movie 'a Moment to Remember'. The FL of that movie is so much like Raavi and the ML, so much in characteristics like Shiva.

To end this unbelievably long discourse on Raavi, I would like to say that

She was given to him to protect her from this cruel world but She claimed him to love, adore and to always make him realise that he is her world.

This thread is my go-to place for such lovely viewpoints.

Thank you, everyone for sharing your insights with us! It’s indeed a pleasure to read everyone’s thought process and take on it.

This thread is my go/to place for such lovely viewpoints.

Thank you everyone for sharing your insights with us! It’s indeed a pleasure to read everyone’s thought process, and take on it.

Thank you once again 🤗