Ques for those who hv done arranged marriage:How is ur compatibility? - Page 2

Originally posted by: Mahisa_22

Bold: How old are you? 🤓

29. I may have exaggerated the 10 feet deep corpse reference. 😆

Arranged or love, get to know the person. The amount of men with mental health issues & autism I’ve been sett up with is crazy.

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

29. I may have exaggerated the 10 feet deep corpse reference. 😆

Yeah, you MIIIIIIGHT have. A bit.

Is there anyone in here who's 30+ and unmarried? And yet to be in a relationship? 😆

Originally posted by: Mahisa_22

Yeah, you MIIIIIIGHT have. A bit.

Just a taaad bit

I got arrange married when I was 19 to someone whom I met 3 times before marriage n talked on phone for 6 months.. It was horrible for 1st 2years I really din't know what I wanted I was completing my college without any idea what I wanted to do after that.. I used to shout at him for every small things.. I was terrible n he was too

He was outgoing namesake Muslim n iam someone who wear hijab n pray 5 times.. I used to standout like a sore thumb in his friends circle bt then one day no wifi n we talked about what we wanted why we were fighting? Why I was always sad? He suggested I could do pg n work with my sister.. I somehow ended up doing all that n working out my marriage too.. I just love my life n I wouldn't change it for anything. Now I have 3.5year old baby n iam happy

Compatability I don't think we have any our taste n likes are too different bt we know not to interfere in others matters like he doesn't ask me not to wear hijab n I don't ask him to pray.. He doesn't force me to go with him to meet his friends n I don't force him for family function.we discuss our work n give suggestions bt don't force.. We do what we like n respect each others wishes but if he was someone who would force me to be social n change I wouldn't be happy.

Marry only if you want don't do it for your family or baby.. I dint know why I married I deffo dint want one but I was too scared n little to say No but it got worked out because I was married to a good one not everyone is that lucky.. So think a lot about what you want.

We were not at all compatible , first 1 year was very difficult for us.

Actually we decided we would get divorce but then pandemic happened and we bonded during this period.

You have to make a lot adjustments, i am a feminist and my husband is a psuedofeminist (rahul bose from ddd). I had to make compromise that his family will always be his priority. I made peace with that.

He had to accept that i am feminist and my first priority is my career and i am not interested in having babies (I actually told him that before marriage but he thought i would change my mind lol never).

Our marriage is not toxic anymore and we are kind of fell in love during this lock down period 😳

Arranged marriage doesn't always mean meet once, say yes, and get married 2 months later. You can be introduced and take your time to get to know each other, which is what you should do. I've seen arranged marriages around me in which people got married 1-2years after meeting each other. Then it's just like dating each other, you were only introduced through your family. That's no different than being set up for a blind date or finding someone online through sites. IMHO, the days of getting married to a complete stranger are gone and not so common anymore.

Whether love, or arranged, what's important is to get to know each other and spend time with each other, assess your compatibility. Communication is key for any relationship to work, if you don't have that, it's never going to work. See if your values line up, your love language lines up, you want similar things from life... if family is really important, then can you deal with the families.

Not every arranged marriage ends up in toxic abuse and not every love marriage is a bed of roses. Marriage is something you're constantly working on. Also our families put too much nonsensical pressure on getting married before 30. The right age is when YOU feel mentally, emotionally, financially, physically ready.

Whether love or arranged, it doesn't really matter. Some marriages will work, some won't. It depends on the maturity of both individuals and how much effort they are willing to put into the relationship. You will have disagreements, arguments, fights...and honestly I feel a relationship without these things is not a normal one. It helps your relationship grow and helps you as an individual come out as a stronger person.

As for me, my husband and myself are polar opposites. Literally. In every way possible (almost). I have always been an introvert whereas he's an extrovert. I was born and brought up in UK and him in Pakistan, so there was a huge cultural difference too. At the beginning, we fought a lot and there were times where we literally wanted to give up on the relationship (another normal thing which is what others told me), but we got through it all and over time we have matured and learnt to understand each other much better.

It has now been 6 years of marriage and we are going stronger than ever 😎

A special mention to my dewar who is more like a 'deewar' between us these days...but we will get through this phase too!

Originally posted by: Unique.Sheep

Whether love or arranged, it doesn't really matter. Some marriages will work, some won't. It depends on the maturity of both individuals and how much effort they are willing to put into the relationship. You will have disagreements, arguments, fights...and honestly I feel a relationship without these things is not a normal one. It helps your relationship grow and helps you as an individual come out as a stronger person.

As for me, my husband and myself are polar opposites. Literally. In every way possible (almost). I have always been an introvert whereas he's an extrovert. I was born and brought up in UK and him in Pakistan, so there was a huge cultural difference too. At the beginning, we fought a lot and there were times where we literally wanted to give up on the relationship (another normal thing which is what others told me), but we got through it all and over time we have matured and learnt to understand each other much better.

It has now been 6 years of marriage and we are going stronger than ever 😎

A special mention to my dewar who is more like a 'deewar' between us these days...but we will get through this phase too!

But you're of Pakistani origin right?