Ques for those who hv done arranged marriage:How is ur compatibility?

I have a question for those who went for arranged marriage. Are you compatible with your partner? Do you enjoy your relationship or is it full of compromises ? Has anybody found a good life partner through arranged marriage system?

I have not been able to find a good match for me by myself.... arranged marriage is the only option for me. I have talked to many guys but I am just not able to connect with them. I am shit scared of getting married! If you feel comfortable, please give your honest opinions about your how is your relationship going on with your spouse and how did you make adjustments. I need some guidance about it as I am going through a stressful period because of this marriage issue. I need suggestions about how to know if a proposal is a good match .

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Do you want to get married??? Because sounds like you don't!

I'm a working person and as long as I don't find the one, I won't rush into a marriage just for the sake of it or peer pressure or society pressure

I was in an arranged marriage with a guy for seven years. He was 12 years older than me. I married him because he was a rich businessman and from a well-to-do family. Didn't turn out well at all. I thought I would live life king size, but materialistic things are not enough for a happy married life.

My spouse had a really regressive mentality. Our thought process didn't match because of being from different generations. He was a misogynist and had terrible opinions about women. I didn't want a kid but his family pressured us into having one.

After seven years I had it enough and I finally decided to leave his house and take divorce. Everyone including my parents told me to not take divorce, to think about my kid, but I didn't listen.

Our divorce case is still in court while I'm living with my parents along with my kid.

This is a fake story but if you do an arranged marriage, you would most likely be telling a similar story like this after 10 years in some other forum. Arranged marriage is the biggest stupidity someone can do in life, and the second biggest stupidity is thinking that it works because it has less divorce rates.

Like taking divorce is so easy in a country like India. Arranged marriage only works because most of the time people don't have any option other than living with their spouse in a toxic marriage. Because they would face a whole lot of new troubles, like court battles, parents pressure, child custody and the biggest one being "chaar log kya kahenge".

You can't choose your life partner in one sitting in a restaurant between a cup of coffee. Date, get in relationships, see if you're fully compatible with the guy you want to get married with.

Then only think about taking the big decision of getting married. It's your whole life. Don't take chances.

I am not married, and I am at that age too where everyone around my age is getting married. There is pressure building up and I do get FOMO feels, but it feels stupid to get married to someone just because I can tick that box off my list.

I am well educated, doing great financially (have an awesome job in terms of $$$). I know I look good too, and will continue to look good for the forseeable future (I take care of my looks, go to the gym etc). I am too good to just settle down with a random person whom I know nothing about.

I would rather wait for someone nice to come along, and enjoy my single life while at it, than get married in a hurry only to compromise and regret it lifelong.

Of course it's not all hunky dory, you do become the object of gossip for your relatives and some nasty 'friends' and colleagues. But such is life. I wouldn't change the course of my life who don't really love me. It's only my parents I am accountable to and I have convinced them somehow.

I got married very early on,to my childhood sweetheart. While I don’t regret marrying him, I do regret getting married so early. While my friends were still into higher education, job searching etc, I was into homemaking, child rearing etc keeping my personal aspirations on the back burner as I also had to support my husband who was just getting started in his career. Long story short, I think one should take their sweet time before they get into a permanent relationship - arranged or love marriage doesn’t matter!

Originally posted by: cutejodikangal

I got married very early on,to my childhood sweetheart. While I don’t regret marrying him, I do regret getting married so early. While my friends were still into higher education, job searching etc, I was into homemaking, child rearing etc keeping my personal aspirations on the back burner as I also had to support my husband who was just getting started in his career. Long story short, I think one should take their sweet time before they get into a permanent relationship - arranged or love marriage doesn’t matter!

How old were you when you got married?

Originally posted by: cutejodikangal

19

Whoa. That's way too young. But I think you already know that!!

I am almost a decade older and thinking I am still young for marriage. 😂😂😂

Originally posted by: Lord_Voldemort

Whoa. That's way too young. But I think you already know that!!

I am almost a decade older and thinking I am still young for marriage. 😂😂😂

Yeah. the circumstances at that time were such which lead to an early marriage.My hubby was also only 21. But now we both regret getting married so early. While there are definitely some perks to it, the disadvantages outweigh them. We are okay now but we both are very passionate about telling our story to anyone and everyone who would listen because for those who see it from outside it would appear like we did the right thing, but only we know the true story and the kind of sacrifices we had to make.

29 or 39, the right age is when you have explored yourself and the world to your satisfaction. 👍🏼

I wouldn’t be able to give you the right advice as I’m not married yet to an actual human being (barring my unreciprocated relationships with fictional people). But I can tell you that there is absolutely no rush in tying the knot. Unless you really desire getting married, don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for. Society has always placed pressure and time limits on when you should get married. Apparently 25 is the expiry date to get married, which by that standard, I’m already rotting 10 feet down the grave. That’s a load of bullshit BTW. Once you get married, two minutes later society will stress you out with questions like “so when are you having kids?” THEY ARE NEVER SATISFIED. Therefore screw the world and do what you think will make you happy.

In saying that. Personally, I could never do an arranged marriage. I can’t take the risk of committing my entire life to someone I don’t know. However, I do know many people who have an arranged marriage that are happy. So if you’re struggling to meet anyone then sure, let the family find you a potential. But then take your time getting to know them. Let him court you, woo you etc.

I’ll tell you something I like to do when meeting people. It’s a great ice breaker. Give the person a dark scenario or moral dilemma and see how they would react in the given situations. I usually get a good insight on how people tick based on their responses.

That’s just my 2 cents. I don’t know though 🤗

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

I wouldn’t be able to give you the right advice as I’m not married yet to an actual human being (barring my unreciprocated relationships with fictional people). But I can tell you that there is absolutely no rush in tying the knot. Unless you really desire getting married, don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for. Society has always placed pressure and time limits on when you should get married. Apparently 25 is the expiry date to get married, which by that standard, I’m already rotting 10 feet down the grave. That’s a load of bullshit BTW. Once you get married, two minutes later society will stress you out with questions like “so when are you having kids?” THEY ARE NEVER SATISFIED. Therefore screw the world and do what you think will make you happy.

In saying that. Personally, I could never do an arranged marriage. I can’t take the risk of committing my entire life to someone I don’t know. However, I do know many people who have an arranged marriage that are happy. So if you’re struggling to meet anyone then sure, let the family find you a potential. But then take your time getting to know them. Let him court you, woo you etc.

I’ll tell you something I like to do when meeting people. It’s a great ice breaker. Give the person a dark scenario or moral dilemma and see how they would react in the given situations. I usually get a good insight on how people tick based on their responses.

That’s just my 2 cents. I don’t know though 🤗

Bold: How old are you? 🤓