Originally posted by: asmaanixx
To solely address the question in your title, the answer is yes; there are certain qualities about Shiva that need to change and it is vital that these changes occur. Since the body of your post is centred around beauty, my reply would be the same.
If there is one absolute truth about beauty, then it's the fact that it is entirely subjective. What may seem ideal to one person may not be the same to another. To dictate the type of clothes a person should wear is moot, but the quality of them is not.
Let's take Shiva's clothing for instance. Inherently, there is nothing wrong with them. His outfit, which is comprised of a plaid shirt, vest and jeans, is a look that is quite common. Heck, it's one that I myself sport the most. It starts becoming an issue however, when it's layered with filth and is tattered beyond repair. We haven't seen the latter part happening with his clothes which is a plus, but there have been a fair amount of comments made on the former state.
Yes, Shiva works in a store and does a lot of hard labor, but that doesn't give him the licence to be unclean 24/7. If he chooses not to shower before heading into work, knowing that he will be covered in grime and sweat all day, that's fine. But after he is officially done work for the day, he should take some time out to give himself a proper wash so that he can wipe off all the filth he collected from the day. At this point, it's no longer a matter of appearance, but rather personal hygiene.
Hygiene, contrary to what people may believe, is not about the aesthetics of looking or smelling good. It's about maintaining a practice of cleanliness to help prevent illnesses or disease. This practice can range from taking daily showers to brushing twice a day; clipping one's fingernails or cleaning out one's hairbrush. The point remains that no matter what the practice is, the end goal is to be clean.
If Raavi is constantly harping about Shiva's clothes being unclean or having bad body odor, then it shouldn't be dismissed as her being shallow or superficial in terms of beauty. These are valid concerns about the way a person conducts themselves that need to be addressed.
While we are on the matter of Raavi, why are we holding the expectation for her to accept Shiva as he is? What's wrong with her wanting her partner to be well dressed, clean, and appealing to the eye? Why are we saying that she, as a woman, should learn how to compromise with the man in her life rather than the other way around? If Raavi has an objection to the style of Shiva's clothes (which she hasn't shown any blatant sign of), then again, she shouldn't be vilified for it. It's simply a matter of attraction. A very clear sign of this was shown during the bonfire when Shiva dressed well for the night. A crisp, solid black shirt, and hair nicely done, he looked quite good for a man who never put that much attention to his appearance. Even without his clothes, Raavi is shown to be attracted to him as we have seen her check Shiva out while he was chopping wood, or was bare chested before her. By this, we know that at least for Raavi there is a very base attraction towards him which gets heightened when Shiva takes the time out to present himself well. Is it wrong of her to feel this way? No, it's not. We all have our own preferences in terms of style, and it applies to the kind of people we get attracted to.
Now, people can claim that looks don't matter but I disagree. Looks do matter. Not so much in the matter of how others perceive you, but rather, how you perceive yourself. If you wear stained clothes, don't brush your teeth properly, or keep your hair all unkempt and tangled, then it shows a lack of care on a very basic level. Self-grooming doesn't have to be viewed as a narcissistic act. Rather, it should be viewed as a person taking the time out of the day to take care of themselves because they love themselves and the body they dwell in. This love runs both aesthetically, biologically, and romantically.
No woman should ever have to teach her romantic partner the basics of self hygiene. She's not his mother, and in the case of Shiva, (when he apparently has two mothers to claim), Raavi should NOT be the one teaching him how to be clean. These are matters that he should have learnt a long time ago as he was growing up. If he doesn't, then it should be on him to learn these things for himself. There is absolutely nothing sexier than a man who knows how to take care of himself and knows how to dress well for an occasion. If he needs to be told everything related to cleanliness such as go take a shower because you stink, then I'm sorry, but you're not a grown man, you're just a man-baby. And no woman wants to be stuck with a man-baby for the rest of her life.
This has gotten extremely long, but the gist of it is that when it comes to personal hygiene, Shiva needs to change the way he conducts himself, and Raavi shouldn't be vilified for the kind of man that she wants as a romantic partner. To expect her to "settle" and compromise on her standards simply because she's stuck with Shiva now is sexist and saddening.