A Disconnect - Please discuss - Page 2

This is asking for too much from the writers. I won't blame it on trp race at all. Skilled writers can include all these - albeit in short scenes. But as you might have realised by now, Ghum writers are the laziest ones around. The few scenes that are good are the only ones they would have probably even used a little bit of energy on. Otherwise they are not invested in the ML - his characterization is their least concern; he is either given ridiculous dialogues or given none. Rest of the plot is anyway copied from original. Forget such valid, important scenes that you described - even the day-to-day zillat drama is repetitive. One can easily predict what everyone says - badtameezi, beizzati, jungli mulgi, our paisa, you parasite....wash, rinse, repeat. Other shows atleast show variation in such scenes but ghum writers love their leisure time too much.

At the end of the day, they are getting trps.

Originally posted by: natkhat_angel

I understand trying to be optimistic. That's why we've all stuck around for 200 episodes. But it bothers me that despite these being characters that the showrunners have written, they never bother creating a consistency in terms of their moral and social reactions. Especially the zillat arena. Virat says something in the bedroom and stays silent in the arena.

An example of disconnect - The writers let Pakhi mouth off everyone including Ashwini, but there are no repercussions to it. In fact, considering how much they love Pakhi, they could show us why she talks to Ash like that or her dilemma that she is Virat's mother but doesn't see her love or something like that. I mean what happens to all the 10 characters once they go back from the living room? Even in shows like Kyunki Saas, they used to show all the characters' lives (there were almost 50 😆). Still the audience could picture Daksha or Mohini's room. Here even the leads have a room with ever-changing doors and statues. The CVs are so busy in showing the huge dramas and big romantic gestures, that they forget the minute things that are a difference between a run-of-the-mill show and a great one.

True. But they dont even visit the reflections of the leads in enough depth toh side characters come much later! Ideally for pp we should see her dilemma but the actor is so bad she cant pull off any such things so its best to keep her a straight simple villain. Even just that actor struggles to potray. But i do agree that instead of only zillat arena drama we should get some background on motivations/reactions of people. Why is bk so powerful, what "good" has she done that everyone has so much regard for her. What do mohit, Karishma, sonali think. Sonali/karishma are good actors but they are reduced to caricatures sadly.

Sai in that kidnapping track acted illogically by not going to police or calling virat or collecting any proof. And similarly virat was shown not using his head during letter saga and fake documents of pulkit. And after seeing the truth of pp's lust/love and elders crimes he is still giving them too much leeway. This all is poor illogical writing. Kya karein! 🙄🙈😂

Originally posted by: laksh

I agree, I am so confused at the moment. I have liked Virat from the beginning and I had lost trust in the character after the ousting. Like you have said, they have been rushing and not even showing his redemption properly.

Firstly, I was expecting that Virat doesn't oust her from the house. I thought that there might be a fight and Sai will decide to leave. It took a while for me to be able to let go of that. And he doesn't seem to be even thinking about what he had done. Again, the makers haven't thought that it is important to show him regretting his actions. We did see him feeling sorry, but I couldn't see that after Sai had forgiven him in the hospital. He even asked Sai once as "tum bhool paogi" or something when she spoke about the ousting unintentionally during their conversation. Though the question didn't make sense, it atleast made us feel that he realises how much it would have affected her. She had even shared that she never expected it from him and how much it had hurt her. Him worrying if she would accompany him home also showed us that he realises that Sai won't be able to forget whatever happened and that is why she doesn't want to return to his house. They showed it at the doorstep of CN too when he noticed that Sai was reminded of that night.

But after they entered their room and when Sai was asking if he had not thrown her things saying that she expected him to since he was very angry on her, they decided to give a dialogue to him asking her not to talk about it? How can they? Was that not a time for him to realise that it would be hard for her to even forget that incident and to try to understand how much it would have affected her. Instead they decided to put an end to that topic by giving him the dialogue asking her not to bring it up. And I haven't seen her thinking about it till now or him reflecting on his actions again.

Why this rush? Why couldn't they have shown both of them opening up when the topic came up? He could have apologised to her again this time saying that he shouldn't have done it at all. Could have shared about what he felt that night that msde him lose control?

They want to rush to the Devi Pulkit lunch and it didn't make sense at all. Firstly, who even discharges the next day after a person gets shot? There is no logic at all in the show. They could have said a few days later if they needed but no, it was like

DAY 1 Holi, Devkit wedding, Sai ousted

DAY 2 Pulkit proved innocent

DAY 3 Virat visits GC to apologise to Sai

DAY 4 Virat leaves for a mission and gets shot. Sai tries to visit him at the hospital.

DAY 5 Virat gains consciousness, Sai meet him and then gets discharged on the same day? Sai snd Virat return to CN.

DAY 6 Devi Pulkit is invited for lunch

DAY 7 Virat goes to hospital for check up

DAY 7 Harini's birthday celebrated

Does any of these make sense? They have only been rushing things. As you say, I don't want a hug or kiss, a proper emotional scene where they speak about the incident. How does it makes sense to ignore such a big thing and move on as if nothing happened? The girl obviously must be in a trauma and why not focus on that first before any Devi or Pulkit or even a birthday?

I've been ranting that whether they show romantic scene or not, they should definitely show an emotional conversation. But SaiRat are busy jumping from one project to the next. Now I've lost all hope that it will ever happen. 😕

Why are they not showing Sai studying at all? Isn't it her dream to become a doctor, as long as she took care of Virat, it made sense. She then started to plan for lunch and invited newly weds? She then shops for birthday party? Didn't she ask Ashwini to take care of Virat when she starts attending college? Didn't they invite Pulkit for lunch on Sunday? Let's say she took a day off to take Virat to hospital on Monday, she plans a bday party because Virat wanted the next day without attending college? Didn't Virat himself say that her studies was affected due to a lot of things, then why didn't he think of it before asking her to help him arrange the party? Is Sai's character not someone who is very focussed? Why didn't she say that she can't skip her college or why can't they show that this is all happening after she returned from the college? Or they could have showed all of these happening for a few days, while showing her attending college in the day time.

Yes in KD, the child of Rono's bua was not given away to an orphanage and here they have done that and yet they will all act as one happy family to celebrate the same child's birthday? Pulkit is also okay with everything even

- after he was separated from his wife,

- after his child was given away to an orphanage (there were always chances that he might not have even got the child back if he had no information)

- after he had come to know that Devi was given some wrong drugs

- after they had tried to separate them again using some false evidence and kidnapping, thereby giving pressure and trauma to Devi in the condition she was in?

What are they trying to show us?

Virat will reconcile with this family who had put his sister through so much of misery, who had separated her from not just her husband but also from her child who now refuses to accept Swvu as her mother. Didn't he say before he tried to convince Sai for the party that he thought that his sister got all happiness and that even Kaku accepted her but never knew that she is again facing problems like this wrt Harini? And he will be okay with them now?

I'm so unhappy with Virat's behaviour towards his family. They are destroyimb his moral compass as well as his intelligence if they are going to show him reconciling with his family. Even Sai is disappointing. Where is her semse of justice? Why does she have no qualms in trying to unite a child to her abuser?Perhaps they will whitewash Bhavani and make her accept Harini. So saath khoon maaf and then hum saath saath hain.

As you have said, they could have shown him as Rono forever, I wouldn't have got this attached to a character named Virat and would have found it difficult to digest this kind of a behavior from him. He acts like Virat when he is mad at Pakhi or his family members and becomes Rono when he is mad at Sai. Whom am I looking at? This is all too messed up. They could have easily skipped a few tracks or if they were keen on following all the tracks from the original version, shouldn't have shown so much variation in the characters.

Theres no itv will show any of these people pay for their deeds. They will brush it away and show everyone as hum saath saath hai only. Sad but itv mein aise hi hota hai. :(

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I'm so unhappy with Virat's behaviour towards his family. They are destroyimb his moral compass as well as his intelligence if they are going to show him reconciling with his family. Even Sai is disappointing. Where is her semse of justice? Why does she have no qualms in trying to unite a child to her abuser?Perhaps they will whitewash Bhavani and make her accept Harini. So saath khoon maaf and then hum saath saath hain.

Sai is only thinking that she is getting Devi united with her family. She is an orphan herself and knows how important family is. Didn't she also tell the same to Pakhi. She wants Devi to have someone just in case. Anything can happen to people and what if something happens to Pulkit? Devi's is also not mentally fit and in such a scenario, it only makes sense for Devi to have someone. Sai has also been noticing how happy Virat was when he saw how happy his sister was. When she called Devi home, she wanted to ensure that the doors to CN is open for Devi. She tried talking to Kaku since she is the head of the family and she is the mother of Devi. If Kaku had not agreed too, atleast Devi would have Virat, Ashwini and Mohit who can welcome her at CN. Though it all looks wrong, why did Pulkit ask to let go of the kidnappers?

Because they had helped him once and also because if the truth comes out Virat will be shattered.

She has witnessed something similar to this. She had once asked Virat as why he had let that college guy go without arresting, he was surprised that she asked him that question. She knows that he likes to give chance to people to correct themselves, so wouldn't he want to give his own family a chance to correct themselves? She is learning to give chance to people and adopting her learnings in a way.

Also, Sai was against this idea but Virat wanted Harini to meet his family, and he kept requesting her. She would have thought that he wants his family to be one and so agreed to him. Now that he comes to know the truth, the ball should be in his court if he still thinks that they should all be one. If she finds him upset or dejected, she might try to make it a big hum saath saath hain pushing aside her sense of justice.

Love can make a person do anything stupid. It makes Virat act in one extreme and it is making Sai act in another extreme which is not even her character.

Originally posted by: laksh

I agree, I am so confused at the moment. I have liked Virat from the beginning and I had lost trust in the character after the ousting. Like you have said, they have been rushing and not even showing his redemption properly.

Firstly, I was expecting that Virat doesn't oust her from the house. I thought that there might be a fight and Sai will decide to leave. It took a while for me to be able to let go of that. And he doesn't seem to be even thinking about what he had done. Again, the makers haven't thought that it is important to show him regretting his actions. We did see him feeling sorry, but I couldn't see that after Sai had forgiven him in the hospital. He even asked Sai once as "tum bhool paogi" or something when she spoke about the ousting unintentionally during their conversation. Though the question didn't make sense, it atleast made us feel that he realises how much it would have affected her. She had even shared that she never expected it from him and how much it had hurt her. Him worrying if she would accompany him home also showed us that he realises that Sai won't be able to forget whatever happened and that is why she doesn't want to return to his house. They showed it at the doorstep of CN too when he noticed that Sai was reminded of that night.

But after they entered their room and when Sai was asking if he had not thrown her things saying that she expected him to since he was very angry on her, they decided to give a dialogue to him asking her not to talk about it? How can they? Was that not a time for him to realise that it would be hard for her to even forget that incident and to try to understand how much it would have affected her. Instead they decided to put an end to that topic by giving him the dialogue asking her not to bring it up. And I haven't seen her thinking about it till now or him reflecting on his actions again.

Why this rush? Why couldn't they have shown both of them opening up when the topic came up? He could have apologised to her again this time saying that he shouldn't have done it at all. Could have shared about what he felt that night that made him lose control? They want to rush to the Devi Pulkit lunch and it didn't make sense at all. Firstly, who even discharges the next day after a person gets shot? There is no logic at all in the show. They could have said a few days later if they needed but no, it was like

DAY 1 Holi, Devkit wedding, Sai ousted

DAY 2 Pulkit proved innocent

DAY 3 Virat visits GC to apologise to Sai

DAY 4 Virat leaves for a mission and gets shot. Sai tries to visit him at the hospital.

DAY 5 Virat gains consciousness, Sai meet him and then gets discharged on the same day? Sai snd Virat return to CN.

DAY 6 Devi Pulkit is invited for lunch

DAY 7 Virat goes to hospital for check up

DAY 7 Harini's birthday celebrated

Does any of these make sense? They have only been rushing things. As you say, I don't want a hug or kiss, a proper emotional scene where they speak about the incident. How does it makes sense to ignore such a big thing and move on as if nothing happened? The girl obviously must be in trauma and why not focus on that first before any Devi or Pulkit or even a birthday?

Why are they not showing Sai studying at all? Isn't it her dream to become a doctor, as long as she took care of Virat, it made sense. She then started to plan for lunch and invited newly weds? She then shops for birthday party? Didn't she ask Ashwini to take care of Virat when she starts attending college? Didn't they invite Pulkit for lunch on Sunday? Let's say she took a day off to take Virat to hospital on Monday, she plans a birthday party because Virat wanted the next day without attending college? Didn't Virat himself say that her studies was affected due to a lot of things, then why didn't he think of it before asking her to help him arrange the party? Is Sai's character not someone who is very focussed? Why didn't she say that she can't skip her college or why can't they show that this is all happening after she returned from the college? Or they could have showed all of these happening over a few days, while showing her attending college in the day time.

Yes in KD, the child of Rono's bua was not given away to an orphanage and here they have done that and yet they will all act as one happy family to celebrate the same child's birthday? Pulkit is also okay with everything even

- after he was separated from his wife,

- after his child was given away to an orphanage (there were always chances that he might not have even got the child back if he had no information)

- after he had come to know that Devi was given some wrong drugs

- after they had tried to separate them again using some false evidence and kidnapping, thereby giving pressure and trauma to Devi in the condition she was in?

What are they trying to show us?

Virat will reconcile with this family who had put his sister through so much of misery, who had separated her from not just her husband but also from her child who now refuses to accept Devi as her mother. Didn't he say before he tried to convince Sai for the party that he thought that his sister got all happiness and that even Kaku accepted her but never knew that she is again facing problems like this wrt Harini? And he will be okay with them now?

As you have said, they could have shown him as Rono forever, I wouldn't have got this attached to a character named Virat and would have found it difficult to digest this kind of a behavior from him. He acts like Virat when he is mad at Pakhi or his family members and becomes Rono when he is mad at Sai. Whom am I looking at? This is all too messed up. They could have easily skipped a few tracks or if they were keen on following all the tracks from the original version, shouldn't have shown so much variation in the characters.

I love reading your analysis of the characters. After Janki, you're the only person who tries to analyze the characters.

Look at today's episode. It makes no sense for any of the characters to behave the way they did. Why is Virat not aggressive with his family even at this point? They have destroyed his sister's life and her mental balance. What if Harini had ended up in some flesh trade or been physically assaulted at the orphanage? He's an IPS officer - surely he knows the kinds of dangers a girl child might have faced if she was not found by Pulkit?

I'm really not even going to talk about anything else from today's episode because it was triggering to me.

I talked about the reaction time yesterday and I'll reiterate it today. Neil's dialogue delivery leaves something to be desired. Especially in confrontational scenes. It's not just today, but in his bid to show Virat as mild-mannered, he ends up showing the character as weak. The onus is on the writers, but having seen him in shows before, I don't feel even he feels connected to the character.

To be honest, other than Kaku, almost all the actors have on and off days, be it Ayesha, Neil or Aishwariya.

I would have been happy if he had shown an iota of anger towards his family. If such crimes are left unpunished, what essentially is a crime in Ghum-land? We are supposed to believe that Virat is the be-all and end-all of law and order? He listens to the crime - if it's done by his wife or mother, they are castigated, and if it's anyone else in his family, it's a second chance. Bas. No need of any other policemen, no need of a case and especially no need for redemption.

And I really don't understand the justification that Sai is his wife so he's more open with her and that is why he is rough with her, while Pakhi is his sister-in-law and so he respects her. Like WTF?

I've been married- love marriage into a mixed race family actually. I've been taunted about my skin color, my height, my roots. But you know what? No one had the balls to do it in front of my husband and I never bring it to him. Because that's what a partner is supposed to do - set boundaries for his wife and family especially when they have a conscientious relationship. The first year we dated, he told me - I'll never pick sides between my family and you. If it's your fight, it's your fight. The only time I was insulted in front of him, he walked out of the room and never looked back at said relative. Maybe that's the difference between saying I love you, and actually doing something about it.

And you know when they say that he's honest with Sai and so emotional about her and thus threw her out of the house? When you love your partner, you become a kid in front of them. My husband's a six feet three inches of little child in front of me, I'm the only one he throws tantrums to, for the rest he's a mature doctor. My betrayal stings him the most, I'm the only one he cries to. That's how you show love. Throwing someone out of your house is not a sign of being closer to the person. It's a sign of someone's ego being hurt.

Virat literally has no excuses to not shout at Pakhi. Literally none. So what if she's your elder sister-in-law? So what if she's alone? SHE IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE. That should be enough and the only reason you should put her at her place. So what if she won't understand? SAY IS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN until she does. If she calls your wife mentally unstable, khudgarz, a gold digger and jungli in front of you and you do nothing, you have right to claim Sai as your wife. No excuses.

Originally posted by: natkhat_angel

I love reading your analysis of the characters. After Janki, you're the only person who tries to analyze the characters.

Look at today's episode. It makes no sense for any of the characters to behave the way they did. Why is Virat not aggressive with his family even at this point? They have destroyed his sister's life and her mental balance. What if Harini had ended up in some flesh trade or been physically assaulted at the orphanage? He's an IPS officer - surely he knows the kinds of dangers a girl child might have faced if she was not found by Pulkit?

I'm really not even going to talk about anything else from today's episode because it was triggering to me.

I talked about the reaction time yesterday and I'll reiterate it today. Neil's dialogue delivery leaves something to be desired. Especially in confrontational scenes. It's not just today, but in his bid to show Virat as mild-mannered, he ends up showing the character as weak. The onus is on the writers, but having seen him in shows before, I don't feel even he feels connected to the character.

To be honest, other than Kaku, almost all the actors have on and off days, be it Ayesha, Neil or Aishwariya.

I would have been happy if he had shown an iota of anger towards his family. If such crimes are left unpunished, what essentially is a crime in Ghum-land? We are supposed to believe that Virat is the be-all and end-all of law and order? He listens to the crime - if it's done by his wife or mother, they are castigated, and if it's anyone else in his family, it's a second chance. Bas. No need of any other policemen, no need of a case and especially no need for redemption.

And I really don't understand the justification that Sai is his wife so he's more open with her and that is why he is rough with her, while Pakhi is his sister-in-law and so he respects her. Like WTF?

I've been married- love marriage into a mixed race family actually. I've been taunted about my skin color, my height, my roots. But you know what? No one had the balls to do it in front of my husband and I never bring it to him. Because that's what a partner is supposed to do - set boundaries for his wife and family especially when they have a conscientious relationship. The first year we dated, he told me - I'll never pick sides between my family and you. If it's your fight, it's your fight. The only time I was insulted in front of him, he walked out of the room and never looked back at said relative. Maybe that's the difference between saying I love you, and actually doing something about it.

And you know when they say that he's honest with Sai and so emotional about her and thus threw her out of the house? When you love your partner, you become a kid in front of them. My husband's a six feet three inches of little child in front of me, I'm the only one he throws tantrums to, for the rest he's a mature doctor. My betrayal stings him the most, I'm the only one he cries to. That's how you show love. Throwing someone out of your house is not a sign of being closer to the person. It's a sign of someone's ego being hurt.

Virat literally has no excuses to not shout at Pakhi. Literally none. So what if she's your elder sister-in-law? So what if she's alone? SHE IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE. That should be enough and the only reason you should put her at her place. So what if she won't understand? SAY IS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN until she does. If she calls your wife mentally unstable, khudgarz, a gold digger and jungli in front of you and you do nothing, you have right to claim Sai as your wife. No excuses.

Thanks for the compliments, glad you like my analysis 😳.

I completely agree, will reply today or tomorrow. Just wrote a very very lengthy post about the same thing 😆.

Originally posted by: natkhat_angel

I love reading your analysis of the characters. After Janki, you're the only person who tries to analyze the characters.

Look at today's episode. It makes no sense for any of the characters to behave the way they did. Why is Virat not aggressive with his family even at this point? They have destroyed his sister's life and her mental balance. What if Harini had ended up in some flesh trade or been physically assaulted at the orphanage? He's an IPS officer - surely he knows the kinds of dangers a girl child might have faced if she was not found by Pulkit?

I'm really not even going to talk about anything else from today's episode because it was triggering to me.

I talked about the reaction time yesterday and I'll reiterate it today. Neil's dialogue delivery leaves something to be desired. Especially in confrontational scenes. It's not just today, but in his bid to show Virat as mild-mannered, he ends up showing the character as weak. The onus is on the writers, but having seen him in shows before, I don't feel even he feels connected to the character.

To be honest, other than Kaku, almost all the actors have on and off days, be it Ayesha, Neil or Aishwariya.

I would have been happy if he had shown an iota of anger towards his family. If such crimes are left unpunished, what essentially is a crime in Ghum-land? We are supposed to believe that Virat is the be-all and end-all of law and order? He listens to the crime - if it's done by his wife or mother, they are castigated, and if it's anyone else in his family, it's a second chance. Bas. No need of any other policemen, no need of a case and especially no need for redemption.

And I really don't understand the justification that Sai is his wife so he's more open with her and that is why he is rough with her, while Pakhi is his sister-in-law and so he respects her. Like WTF?

I've been married- love marriage into a mixed race family actually. I've been taunted about my skin color, my height, my roots. But you know what? No one had the balls to do it in front of my husband and I never bring it to him. Because that's what a partner is supposed to do - set boundaries for his wife and family especially when they have a conscientious relationship. The first year we dated, he told me - I'll never pick sides between my family and you. If it's your fight, it's your fight. The only time I was insulted in front of him, he walked out of the room and never looked back at said relative. Maybe that's the difference between saying I love you, and actually doing something about it.

And you know when they say that he's honest with Sai and so emotional about her and thus threw her out of the house? When you love your partner, you become a kid in front of them. My husband's a six feet three inches of little child in front of me, I'm the only one he throws tantrums to, for the rest he's a mature doctor. My betrayal stings him the most, I'm the only one he cries to. That's how you show love. Throwing someone out of your house is not a sign of being closer to the person. It's a sign of someone's ego being hurt.

Virat literally has no excuses to not shout at Pakhi. Literally none. So what if she's your elder sister-in-law? So what if she's alone? SHE IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO THE WOMAN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE. That should be enough and the only reason you should put her at her place. So what if she won't understand? SAY IS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN until she does. If she calls your wife mentally unstable, khudgarz, a gold digger and jungli in front of you and you do nothing, you have right to claim Sai as your wife. No excuses.

@green- ditto. He is good in some of the emotional scenes but the range is clearly limited. The hand on chin, hand on forehead gestures are repeated and do not work every time. It's looks forced. Also, when's he is not into it, it's totally obvious, because he comes across as unconvincing. The rest of the actors all have their limitations. The Kaku character is obviously very experienced and is therefore much more convincing. The one talented and under-utilized actor is the guy playing Mohit.

@red: Virat's character is just weakly written. When his wife makes a "mistake", he kicks her out in the middle of the night. When his family gives a baby away, nothing. He didn't even raise the issue of it being a crime. But he went running in a police uniform to stop Devi Tai's wedding. His police brain is partitioned into Sai and non-Sai. And non-Sai seems to get off very easy. He even spared Omi kaka when he had evidence of his crime with a stay away from Pulkit and Tai. So, he just delivers his own brand of justice. It's unconvincing and disappointing.

His conduct with Pakhi definitely needs more clarity. It's totally different in public and in private. And he wonders why his wife doesn't respond to his romantic advances..why would she. He hasn't had one open conversation with her about their past. But I get it. This is their major plot point so they will milk it for all its worth.

What a sad sack series of episodes and letdown of the major characters the past week or so have been.

Originally posted by: natkhat_angel

I would have been happy if he had shown an iota of anger towards his family. If such crimes are left unpunished, what essentially is a crime in Ghum-land? We are supposed to believe that Virat is the be-all and end-all of law and order? He listens to the crime - if it's done by his wife or mother, they are castigated, and if it's anyone else in his family, it's a second chance. Bas. No need of any other policemen, no need of a case and especially no need for redemption.

And I really don't understand the justification that Sai is his wife so he's more open with her and that is why he is rough with her, while Pakhi is his sister-in-law and so he respects her. Like WTF?

And you know when they say that he's honest with Sai and so emotional about her and thus threw her out of the house? When you love your partner, you become a kid in front of them. My husband's a six feet three inches of little child in front of me, I'm the only one he throws tantrums to, for the rest he's a mature doctor. My betrayal stings him the most, I'm the only one he cries to. That's how you show love. Throwing someone out of your house is not a sign of being closer to the person. It's a sign of someone's ego being hurt.

You make a very important point.

Virat's domestic abuse cannot be/should not be justified.

And I think everyone must be clear on this in order to avoid giving a wrong message to gullible/young people.

Right from his marriage to Sai, one thing was clear. Sai, Ashwini was always expected to hold a higher behavioral code in the zillat arena compared to his family members. There were a mix of factors behind his unfair expectation - male entitlement over 'his' women and his inability to handle the confrontation in the zillat arena (his mantra : silence the weak to stop the conflict).

Whenever Sai's position in the house was questioned, or she was verbally abused, he did not really stand up for her. One understands that it is overwhelming for anyone to be in battle to defend someone all the time, but even to a casual observer it is evident that Virat never set a boundary with his family as far as Sai was concerned. There was never a stern stand that she is his wife and he expected her to be given respect. If he had done so, the family would not have dared to subject Sai to the humiliation she had to endure. Ofcourse, he did not do so deliberately, but his conflict phobia meant he compromised on his wife's honour. For a wife this would obviously mean - "If the choice is between me or the family, he would always chose his family". Sai has been more than forgiving despite the insecurity this gives her.

Coming to his difference in behaviour towards his family and his wife -his anger, disappointment is only reserved for Sai; with his family he is extra soft. It may seem weird but I have seen quite a few men IRL who behave exactly the same way. Such men are a product of narcissistic parenting - their relationship with the parent is based solely on emotional manipulation but masquerades as love & care. So there is only an attempt to please and to earn the conditional love - these men are either blind to/in denial about the faults of the parent. But with a good-hearted wife, these men show their real self - their anger, their flaws. They even take liberties with them which is not correct. Perhaps there is an element of male entitlement in this as well. It is not something we can instinctively relate to. But it is a piece of reality I have seen and I choose to apply the same analogy in Virat to explain his behaviour (not to justify it). Except in cases where the men realise their mistake and alter their behaviour pattern, the wife gets the raw deal. The relationship becomes strained or even leads to separation due a the combination of familial interference and the failure of the men to address it appropriately.

Bothes of Virat's domestic abuse (during PD lunch and DevKit wedding) were a result of hurt male ego combined with his own confused emotions. It also gives a glimpse of the toxicity he grew up in - where punishment & humiliation was an accepted form of punishment. While in his head he considers any violence against women to be wrong, it is ironic that he has sub-consciously imbibed the same toxic masculinity that he may have loathed. I wanted Ashwini to smack him hard across his face during the PD lunch episode. But unfortunately, Ashwini is a product of the same patriarchal setup and doesnt believe in being too hard on her Raja beta. Neither do I believe that Virat's redemption for ousting Sai is complete. As I keep ranting, Virat's repentance was on account of Sai being proved right. There was also no introspection towards his own reactions (irrespective of Sai being right or wrong) when enraged - his aggressive behaviour amounting to domestic abuse. Although I agree he did realise he was egoistic and nasamajh. But how much importance was given to showcase Sai's trauma? I agree that you cannot claim to love your wife if you cannot treat her with respect or to set boundaries with people who humiliate her.

In short, Virat's major flaws can be analysed objectively, in a matter-of-fact way but cannot be justified. It can be used to explain the intent, never to justify the actions. In fact the show does not show the repercussions of most of Virat's flaws. All this analysis is only for establishing that Virat's behaviour does not come from malice but from his serious flaws. SaiRat romance is still watchable only as fiction, it is not a recipe for healthy love by any stretch of imagination. This should be reiterated via disclaimers, SM posts, and video campaigns.

Having said that, his recent reaction to his family's misdeeds is appalling. Even for a man with Virat's weakness, it is a serious crime. With Virat's moral compass it is not too much to expect the character to be outraged, hurt and cut ties with them, if not to arrest them. His lukewarm response throws all the character analysis to whack and shows him in poor light - as a shallow, insecure man.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

You make a very important point.

Virat's domestic abuse cannot be/should not be justified.

And I think everyone must be clear on this in order to avoid giving a wrong message to gullible/young people.

Right from his marriage to Sai, one thing was clear. Sai, Ashwini was always expected to hold a higher behavioral code in the zillat arena compared to his family members. There were a mix of factors behind his unfair expectation - male entitlement over 'his' women and his inability to handle the confrontation in the zillat arena (his mantra : silence the weak to stop the conflict).

Whenever Sai's position in the house was questioned, or she was verbally abused, he did not really stand up for her. One understands that it is overwhelming for anyone to be in battle to defend someone all the time, but even to a casual observer it is evident that Virat never set a boundary with his family as far as Sai was concerned. There was never a stern stand that she is his wife and he expected her to be given respect. If he had done so, the family would not have dared to subject Sai to the humiliation she had to endure. Ofcourse, he did not do so deliberately, but his conflict phobia meant he compromised on his wife's honour. For a wife this would obviously mean - "If the choice is between me or the family, he would always chose his family". Sai has been more than forgiving despite the insecurity this gives her.

Coming to his difference in behaviour towards his family and his wife -his anger, disappointment is only reserved for Sai; with his family he is extra soft. It may seem weird but I have seen quite a few men IRL who behave exactly the same way. Such men are a product of narcissistic parenting - their relationship with the parent is based solely on emotional manipulation but masquerades as love & care. So there is only an attempt to please and to earn the conditional love - these men are either blind to/in denial about the faults of the parent. But with a good-hearted wife, these men show their real self - their anger, their flaws. They even take liberties with them which is not correct. Perhaps there is an element of male entitlement in this as well. It is not something we can instinctively relate to. But it is a piece of reality I have seen and I choose to apply the same analogy in Virat to explain his behaviour (not to justify it). Except in cases where the men realise their mistake and alter their behaviour pattern, the wife gets the raw deal. The relationship becomes strained or even leads to separation due a the combination of familial interference and the failure of the men to address it appropriately.

Bothes of Virat's domestic abuse (during PD lunch and DevKit wedding) were a result of hurt male ego combined with his own confused emotions. It also gives a glimpse of the toxicity he grew up in - where punishment & humiliation was an accepted form of punishment. While in his head he considers any violence against women to be wrong, it is ironic that he has sub-consciously imbibed the same toxic masculinity that he may have loathed. I wanted Ashwini to smack him hard across his face during the PD lunch episode. But unfortunately, Ashwini is a product of the same patriarchal setup and doesnt believe in being too hard on her Raja beta. Neither do I believe that Virat's redemption for ousting Sai is complete. As I keep ranting, Virat's repentance was on account of Sai being proved right. There was also no introspection towards his own reactions (irrespective of Sai being right or wrong) when enraged - his aggressive behaviour amounting to domestic abuse. Although I agree he did realise he was egoistic and nasamajh. But how much importance was given to showcase Sai's trauma? I agree that you cannot claim to love your wife if you cannot treat her with respect or to set boundaries with people who humiliate her.

In short, Virat's major flaws can be analysed objectively, in a matter-of-fact way but cannot be justified. It can be used to explain the intent, never to justify the actions. In fact the show does not show the repercussions of most of Virat's flaws. All this analysis is only for establishing that Virat's behaviour does not come from malice but from his serious flaws. SaiRat romance is still watchable only as fiction, it is not a recipe for healthy love by any stretch of imagination. This should be reiterated via disclaimers, SM posts, and video campaigns.

Having said that, his recent reaction to his family's misdeeds is appalling. Even for a man with Virat's weakness, it is a serious crime. With Virat's moral compass it is not too much to expect the character to be outraged, hurt and cut ties with them, if not to arrest them. His lukewarm response throws all the character analysis to whack and shows him in poor light - as a shallow, insecure man.

You know honestly I was never convinced with the theory that probably he is more attached, open and himself with Sai that's why the extreme reactions.. And even if its true, it looks even more dangerous for their relationship, since if you look at this way, when this family can get away with heinous crimes as these, with just a dusra chance , he would never move an eyelash for the insults that Sai goes through on a daily basis, that would probably be a norm. And top of that Sai when would make a mistake, would be punished severely.. And also an important point to note here is, he does not forgive Sai, he gets back to her when he is told/he gets to know he is wrong. So in case Sai actually commits a mistake , her punishment would be severe. While his ghar-wale get away with anything and everything. How problematic it would be if they get back within days to their old treating way of Sai and Ashwini.. I don't want to wait for the last episode to see them behave human.

I always attribute his behaviour towards Sai and his AAi, to him having a certain degree of authoritarian and patriarch belief system because of the environment he has grown in. He has seen to only be aggressive towards the women who are weaker w.r.t "him", have a weak background in his house. Both Aai and Sai fall in that category. I cannot let him get away with "oh he is closest to them" or "he takes them for granted because he loves them the most" excuse all the time. He has shown to be not even 1% close to the man he has been to Sai (when she commits mistake) towards his family. He believes that she is his woman and she would behave in a way he would want her to in some situations and he wants to hold that attitude infront of the family. And that is why the trigger from the family works for him. Take for instance the hand holding incident, he was looking at Sai as though she deserves that punishment for behaving in that manner and was in a way agreeing to Ninad. Even during Devkit wedding, he was angry surely angry with Sai , but he was not planning to oust her, it was only when he was triggered by his family in that direction he decided to do so.. It does not work like that where he has zero iota of responsibility as a police officer when the family commits a mistake and highest degree of that punishing attitude when its his wife, who he calls his family.. DOesnt work.. This is not the ML I signed up for.

Also for the ones who are going gaga over him stopping Ninad.. Well it was high time anyway and that is what every son/daughter should do for their mothers. He again has more responsibility and authority because he is an IPS officer. I believe the aggression there was not again not up to the mark for me. I have seen sons going mad on their father, for raising their hands on their mother.. I know sons who don't even acknowledge their father's presence for days ,because of how their mother are treated...And this man lets the four ghar ke bade treat his mother like a house help.. Even a house help gets more respect in general. It took him a lot of time to realise what his father and other do to his mother, even after it has been indirectly conveyed to him a lot many times by his mother...

I just cannot buy , "Oh he is soft by nature" when he treats PP and his family members with that attitude eveytime when they commit mistake and "Oh he is close to them more" when goes mad in aggression , loses basic mannerisms when its his mother and wife

To think that these three will get back to their usual highhandedness, looking down upon others and name call weaker women of the house, after committing such heinous crimes, is even more infuriating..😡