Suprabhat Bhagininno!! 🌻🌺🌻💕🌻🌺🌻
Someone on that team is a fan of Guru's songtrack. Today, Tere Bina was the second song from the film after jaage Hain Der tak... but my mind was stuck at the beginning of Dum da ra dum da ra mast mast da ra dum... Kitna apt song hai is show ke liye 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I will never be able to hear it without thinking of 'Dum' and 'Mast Mast' -- two things that ruined their blossoming love story 😅😅😅. Sorry for the PJ. Mat padho aage 🙊🙈
The last two episodes have been about discovering truths for both Sai and Virat. While Virat is discovering the obvious truth, Sai is coming to terms with the biggest truth of her life : she's back to where she was left when Aaba departed. Alone, in grief and with a long life ahead of her with a sudden loss that she had not imagined would befall upon her.. She has finally found some moments of solitude to reflect upon the events of her life that sucked her in like a whirlwind. Did this girl even have the time go process what she has been through since the night Kamal Joshi was shot? Her life changed in a matter of hours.
That night too, she was readying to leave for Nagpur but she had not anticipated that the person who would take her to her city of dreams would be the man she had actually been waiting for, to free her father to be able to go to Nagpur. Today, she's readying to return to Nagpur without the same man, even when he comes by to seek her once more -- ridden with guilt and asking for a chance to repent. Fate really has a twisted sense of humour.
The only difference between the two moments is that she is more confident of finding her feet now than she would have been in back in that day when she lost her father. But is she in lesser pain than that moment -- unlikely.
Needless to say, Sai in this forlorn state is a heart breaking sight. Her empty eyes convey the anguish her heart has been feeling. Losing someone dear is never easy, especially if the loss is not to death but to desertion. Some losses are even more painful than death. When you lose someone to death, the pain that accompanies that loss becomes manageable over a period of time because one begins to realise that death is inevitable and beyond anyone's control. Because the person has left in every form -- there are no chances of reconnecting, rebuilding and of changing what could have gone wrong. But losing someone to a 'sudden detachment' is almost always a hurt that never heals. One might learn to manage that hurt too, but it never heals. And especially if it is inflicted by a spouse. The unanswered questions never end for the one who has been deserted.
Why did he do this to me without a warning, without even a conversation -- did I not deserve even one hearing before being condemned? Or was he waiting for the opportune moment to snap ties with me? Did he really never value me because I was thrust upon him against his wish? I know that he did not marry me for love but am I so unworthy of being loved despite all that we shared? If it was just a sham, how did I feel times that he loved me, was seeking me and wanted to hear me say that to him too? Why did he always want all my attention? Did his heart not quiver when he left me in the cold, in the dead of the night after allowing every standing person around him to pierce sharp knives into me -- the sharpest of all, he held himself and struck straight into my heart...and every word he said turned it deeper. Being condemned without even being heard is worse than being misunderstood.
No matter how detached Sai may claim to be from Virat and their marriage, the fact is that she is the 'wife'. She has always wanted to be the 'wife'. Their's may have been a marriage with a lot of disagreements but it was never filled with hatred or contempt. Instead, it had only begun to reach a point of acknowledgment -- almost love -- when the plug was pulled. It can't be easy.
Sai is visibly feeling the intense physical pain that accompanies a heart break -- the actual feeling of being torn apart: the feeling of the heart dropping into the stomach, feeling crushed, and being pushed off a cliff. The feeling of loneliness has not hit her yet because she's still grieving the actual incident of breaking up -- it wasn't something she had anticipated or wanted. Anger, yes, she knew she would have to face but she had been confident that he would hear her out. But he stunned her and left her with a raw hurt.
And just as she is beginning to grieve deeply to get hold on her emotions for the long term, there he is -- to seek forgiveness... to ask her to return to the place where she never even had the status of a 'wife', where anyone was allowed to walk over her when he was in a fit of rage, even if she resisted the insults -- naturally, she will experience anger, loss of trust, fear, anxiety. But to even process the thought of going back to the man she right now thinks she can never have will need her to accept something she has been denying : that she has fallen in love with him. No other reason will be justified.
Virat, on the other hand, has learnt the part of the truth -- he is far away from actually learning the truth. One cannot tell if he will ever learn the truth because yes, as he has realised his bewakoofi and nasamajhi, he continues to be on the same path. He believed Omkar's admission of being the only one involved when clearly, all thee Dil Ke acche Ghar ke bade are together in all their acts. He did not want to probe any further. Again (hate to call him IPS) he couldn't sense body language, lying eyes shifting while speaking, the anxiety and paleness on their faces and their hurry to burry his discovery by going back to raising doubts about Pulkit and dissing Sai. Kutte ki dum Kabhi seedhi Nahi Hoti.
How easy was it for him to 'forgive' Omkar by just asking them to 'let Devi and Pulkit be happy'. There wasn't even a convincing yes from anyone of them. And he almost doesn't feel the need to also remind them to stay away from Sai before deciding to bring her back? He can see clearly that the family does not want Sai to come back -- not even Sonali, who seems to definitely, pakka, shambhar takke have a split personality too 🤐
It is clear that the unreasonable grudge they have against Sai will never go away. How does he plan to safeguard Sai in the future? He doesn't know she was fooled into a trap in his absence but he definitely knows that they won't let her live in peace, especially the Teeli maarne wali Begum-e-beizzati. Virat missed a golden opportunity to negotiate peace for his love life.h
Shouldn't that be his first condition of letting off Omkar -- that none of those five venomous people will hiss at his wife, whether she's present or absent? especially Mallika-e-Maturity.
Why would it take him this long -- until she actually comes on to him evidently-- to set boundaries for her. Of course she's someone who doesn't recognize boundaries even if her face collides with it but Virat has given her an unending rope.
He's restless without Sai on the other side of the bed -- the previous night, he couldn't care less about what she wanted to say and why she was waiting hungry at the door step. But sudden discovery of Sai being right (I wouldn't still call it the truth because he hasn't learnt that truth) has left him guilty and yearning. He has a cupboard full of things that belong to Sai and give him a sense of her being (don't ask how Sai has some of her belongings when he didn't even allow her to enter the room to take her stuff 😅 aise sawaal poochna mana hai; waise Sai's departure shrunk their cupboard too 😅) but it would be so much better if he, as the most mature one, also recalls some of the grievances Sai has had, especially in the context of her self respect in the house.
Virat knows he's yearning for Sai. He's reached the point where he acknowledges his 'need' to have her around. But Sai, on the other hand, still seems to question why her thoughts turn towards Virat.
Undoing the damage that has been caused to their relationship by both of them is impossible. But it would take a fresh start, letting go of the pain caused to each other and forgiving, determining the new equation of the relationship, being committed to it and working equally towards making better memories together. For all practical purposes, his promise to Kamal Joshi is broken. If he has to seek Sai now, he has to tell her that he is seeking the wife in her and not the zimmedari that gives his ego of righteousness a boost.
Virat is aware he's egoistic and blinded in rage when it comes to Sai but unfortunately he helplessly repeats the cycle of his reactions in the moments of loss of control.
Sai is yet to acknowledge that she is impulsive and lacks poise and prudence at times. However, her trait to put everything and everyone at stake for something she believes is right actually comes from her Aaba himself. Did her father think of what was at stake before giving himself in the ultimate sacrifice?
But in a marriage, the spouse has to come first, no matter what. Once they recognise each other as their 'spouse', the need to guard their space and relationship will follow...
****
I have been having this nagging question on my mind and I would love to hear the views:
It was easy for Virat to be instigated by the family enough to throw her out without giving her a hearing even. I believe he did not plan to throw her out when he came home. He decided to do it when he was reminded that she had defied him, disrespected his love for her and planned the betrayal. The distrust that both Sai and Virat have in each other definitely stems from the distance between them -- the lacking physical intimacy plays a huge role in further distancing spouses when they are in disagreement principally and emotionally. Physical intimacy gives the relationship a sense of security and also makes the trust deeper. Now, I don't believe that love can only be manifested with physical closeness but it plays a role in making the relationship stronger becayse it brings in more attachment and responsibility towards one another -- had the two of them been in a normal, conjugal marriage, would it have been so easy for Virat to shut the door on the face of his wife in the dead of the night without even hearing her out? No matter what the provocation and no matter the reason behind the rage -- would he have a reason to believe that she betrayed him and did not want to be in the marriage?
PS: Chakrams need their dum wali chai. Their beizzati looks incomplete without it. Zillat arena toh shrink ho Gaya but chai ke cups bhi gayab ho Gaye... itni hawa tight hone ke baad bina zehereeli chai ke kaise manage Kar rahe honge ye log. 🙄😑🙄😑 Waise, saste nikal gaye saare, bill toh chaheeta beta Apne Aap par phaadne wala hai with Sai Joshi waiting to explode on Virat Chavan's face😅
Have a great day lovelies!!
Do share your thoughts, haste muskurate.
Sending lots of love, hugs and coffees your way ❤️🤗☕❤️🤗☕❤️🤗☕
Love
❤️J
Members Lounge
Music Corner
