Addressing the elephant in the room... Note on Pg 21 (24 April) - Page 16

Originally posted by: Jrf2021

Let's agree to disagree for this show.but please refrain from giving logics from mahabharat .Bcoz there are so many in people in our society who connect to draupdi much more than any other character in the show.i m one of them.

And since u made a relevance,then let me tell u draupdi never break the trust of her loved ones.she define strength.she never want behind back.she used to do and say everything on the face.she was the most fierce and strong lady I have ever known who could stood up for her self respect and give a damn about anything.

Sorry but comparing or giving draupdi reference for sai situation is no match.

Sai called this for her.she had many choices.but she act impulsively and foolishly.i m not defending virat.But she knew the very consequences.even virat asked her kyun kiya.she still kept quiet for pulkit sake.even after pulkit and devi wedding.sgw can't tell him truth.let him decide whether now he will trust her or not.just not telling him anything and expecting him to know everything and understand her when she herself broke his trust is beyond my understanding.

I wasn't comparing Sai to Draupadi. I apologize for implying that. I was just comparing your logic to the logic employed by people who blame the victims of crimes against women, and Draupadi's case was the first example that came to mind. What you're saying is that Sai made a mistake by hiding the truth from Virat or by doing everything on her own. Fine, I can agree with that. But in no way, shape, or form does that mistake justify or even warrant the kind of behavior that Virat does. You say that "Sai called this for herself." That is another way of saying "she deserved it" or "she was asking for it," which is the definition of victim blaming. That is what I have a problem with.

Originally posted by: Jrf2021

I m not defending virat.but my issue is that how sai mistakes or stupidity are being praised.i replied to post for that only.bcoz sai handled the situation horribly.

And u r absolutely right,she should not take this.she should have left virat from the day it starts.even after this she should not come back.As their relationship is toxic and virat has become a MCP.

But since we all know she will comeback and tolerate this abuse for some eyecandy romance.so I failed to sympathize with her.

I will really applaud her if after leaving virat and giving him divorce.she starts a life for herself and mind her own business till she become independent atleast.

Sai's actions are heroic and saved lives. Her "mistake" in not involving Virat is understandable given his past history of being easily manipulated and not listening to her anyway. So she's probably smart for not involving him if her goal was to get them married. Stupidity would be to tell him what's happening, and he blabs it to his evil family, and they take more drastic measures (worse than kidnapping!) to stop it.

Sai's only flaws are that she talks too much and reveals her hand and doesn't record evidence.

Much like you I entered IF on the wings of a show that normalised abusive love.Even today it’s a guilty pleasure (brain goes red flag red flag red flag, every time I watch such couples) .It’s frankly disheartening that years later nothing much has changed in the ITV platform.

Visual media does influence social narratives - whether it’s mini screen or silver screen. When visual media normalises abusive personalities and their form of delivering love, it strengthens the narrative that passionate love comes with a side of violence.

Star Plus should consider changing their byline in all honesty, with the number of its shows that has abusive main leads in it.

Originally posted by: Jrf2021

Sorry to butt in.

But how come sai is innocent in this.virat clearly told her that he will reinvestigate.was it so difficult to wait till then.devi andpulkit were away from eachother from past 10 years.if for few more days or month.how does it make a difference.

Sai betrayed virat in most horrible way.she took decision for his sister without letting him know.sai always says that she always speaks truth.what was stopping her to tell virat the entire truth and then let him make an informed choice.

But for her pulkit's promise is more important than virat trust.virat asked her bolo kyun kiya.then also she is quiet.

Though I hate what virat did.bht sai opt for this.she herself said she can sacrifice her relationship for devi and pulkit.Is this the worth of her and virat relationship for her.like who on earth can even think to sacrifice the most important relationship of his or her life.

Whatever situation she is in is due to the irrationally, impulsive decision she made.

Virat is wrong no doubt but sai is also not saint.

Exactly. I will never.condone what virat did , as I said he will face the consequences for his mistakes .

It's a basic "cause and effect " principle. For every word that's spoken and for every action . For a cause there will be an effect and for every effect there is a cause. Virats actions will have consequences , sai's actions would also have consequences.

Sai just assumed that she will.be forgiven. How ? Bec she didn't want to tell the truth bc of pulkits promise. She assumes ppl like chavans will believe her ? How will the scene play out? Virat could have calmly asked her why she got devi married . She would have replied I always say the truth and stand by what I did. Decibel level low but pretty much what she said now.

I won't say anything further ...I know , sai's mistake didn't warrant the kind of behavior meted out to her. But this serial is much better than many other shows bec of sai . I have no problem with what they show. I have a problem with HOW they do it and this serial balances out everything..

Originally posted by: Aditi_MM

Aapko sai ko defend karna zarur kariye but it's a req don't insult Draupadi by comparing her to someone who liar & dhokebaaz coz Draupadi was never liar or dhokebaaz.

In cheerharan Draupadi was not at fault at all she just suffered coz of faults of others

In this case I should not open my mouth it will be better.

Dhoka or jhoot ko kissi bhi angle se dekho or justify karo dhoka or jhoot ho rehte hai vo kabhi bhi justify nhi ho sakte.

Originally posted by: GandiAai

Sai's actions are heroic and saved lives. Her "mistake" in not involving Virat is understandable given his past history of being easily manipulated and not listening to her anyway. So she's probably smart for not involving him if her goal was to get them married. Stupidity would be to tell him what's happening, and he blabs it to his evil family, and they take more drastic measures (worse than kidnapping!) to stop it.

Sai's only flaws are that she talks too much and reveals her hand and doesn't record evidence.

Has cat got her tongue now. She is still not revealing anything to virat .why didn't she tell him the truth and let him decide whether he will trust her or not atleast now when he asked her kyun kiya.

Originally posted by: Fruitcustard_9

Aapko sai ko defend karna zarur kariye but it's a req don't insult Draupadi by comparing her to someone who liar & dhokebaaz coz Draupadi was never liar or dhokebaaz.

In cheerharan Draupadi was not at fault at all she just suffered coz of faults of others

In this case I should not open my mouth it will be better.

Dhoka or jhoot ko kissi bhi angle se dekho or justify karo dhoka or jhoot ho rehte hai vo kabhi bhi justify nhi ho sakte.

I apologize for offending you. I was never comparing Draupadi to Sai. I 100% agree that Draupadi was never at fault; she is a noble woman and the epitome of courage. I was simply giving an example how people use faulty logic to blame a victim, and Draupadi's example was the first and most universal that came to mind. I should have chosen a different example but my initial point still stands: Victim blaming is never okay.

Originally posted by: Aditi_MM

I apologize for offending you. I was never comparing Draupadi to Sai. I 100% agree that Draupadi was never at fault; she is a noble woman and the epitome of courage. I was simply giving an example how people use faulty logic to blame a victim, and Draupadi's example was the first and most universal that came to mind. I should have chosen a different example but my initial point still stands: Victim blaming is never okay.

I m sorry to for misunderstanding

Originally posted by: Aditi_MM

If by interfere in family matters, you mean Sai's actions for Devyani, then let me say, it wasn't a "family matter." It was abuse. And you don't keep silent or stand watching while another human is being tortured the way Devyani was. That's plain and simple humanity. If such treatment towards Devyani happened in the real world, then the police would be called and Kaku, Ninad, and Omi would be in jail for abuse and negligence.

And yeah, Sai would have to abide to her new family's rules. But those can include having to wake up earlier because the family eats breakfast earlier. Or having to do some extra chores because the family has divided them up like so. But if those rules entail, staying quiet while the elders taunt and abuse the rest of the family and while a husband spews venom at his wife, or being complicit in the dehumanization and insults of the women of the house, then no. No one is obligated to abide by those rules. In fact, if you have any form of morals and values, then you are obligated to question and stand up against those norms.

Buddy. When did I say that Sai should quietly take all the abuse and not tc of devi tayi? All I said was everyone has to adapt themselves keeping in mind the mentality of people they cohabitat with. In a family such a chavans, n virat (bec he also has a history of believing his family over sai) , was it not sensible to gather proof s against them before taking such a big step ? What will she do now ? Ask virat to find the proof against pulkit. Same cud be done by taking hum into confidence before acting impulsively . Proof against the medicines which were being given to devi. Proof against kidnapping .

I dun wanna go into who is right and who is wrong , or who is more right and more wrong , my only point is that this is one of the rare shows which does NOT glorify abuse but gives the right message on how to stand up against it.

Originally posted by: Jrf2021

I m not defending virat.but my issue is that how sai mistakes or stupidity are being praised.i replied to post for that only.bcoz sai handled the situation horribly.

And u r absolutely right,she should not take this.she should have left virat from the day it starts.even after this she should not come back.As their relationship is toxic and virat has become a MCP.

But since we all know she will comeback and tolerate this abuse for some eyecandy romance.so I failed to sympathize with her.

I will really applaud her if after leaving virat and giving him divorce.she starts a life for herself and mind her own business till she become independent atleast.

Oh im sorry, I guess I misunderstood what you were saying😆

@bold- Word to this.👏👏👏

That's exactly the point I wanted to make.

People may think that this show does not glorify domestic abuse because it has a very strong female lead who raises her voice.

But it does. The glorification takes place in such a way that it isn't easily recognised. The glorification happens when Sai goes back to Virat in the future, the glorification happens when Sai will fall in love and accept the love of such a man. Because it sends the msg that, as an educated women, do raise your voice against social injustices, do raise your voice against domestic abuse - but wait for your man to come around, because at the end of the day he loves you, and you, him. And that's where the characterisation of Sai goes in for a toss.

My papa always say something to me - I didn't grow you up with so much love and care for any man to take you for granted. And that's it.