The ending of English Vinglish - Page 3

I don't think it's as simple as painting the husband and kid as villains. It's realistic. I'd like to share personal experiences. My dad sometimes would make these kinds of comments about my mom in their earlier years when I was younger. Hell, my little brother would also chime in when my mom mispronounced an english word and they'd laugh. In hindsight, they both realize that was really effed up and that my mom did get hurt but she'd just put on a smile.

People are not black or white. Good people who are otherwise loving and supportive can say and do hurtful things without meaning to hurt someone. A lot of what Shashi's husband and kid did and said they didn't realize was hurtful. They thought that Shashi would take it as a joke but it was mean.

And in the end, it wasn't the fact that she spoke English, but the fact that in front of everyone she finally explained how she felt when people made fun of her that her husband and kid felt like shit. They didn't apologize coz of her english, they apologized coz they realized that they had been mean.

And for that reason alone, that in the end they realized their mistake and felt terrible, I don't think it's terrible that Shashi forgave them. I mean, it's her husband and child. You don't just break a marriage and leave your child for something like this. Especially when the family apologizes and realize their mistake.

The ending was bad and didn't live up to the premise of the movie, which was a housewife who was being taken for granted by her family reinventing herself to let everyone know she matters. Okay so she picks up a few sentences in English ,makes a toast and that's it. The movie was supposed to empower women but it ended up disempowering all those housewives and mothers who don't speak English. Shashis husband and daughter recognise her struggle because it was presented in broken English. Had she mumbled the same things in Hindi or Tamil they'd have told her she was being silly .

I was hoping for an ending where after going through the struggles of learning English and relating to the stories of others in the class who were pushed to the fringes because of the same thing, Shashi finally says "Oh fck it, I've had enough " and decides to reclaim her position regardless of whether she was able to speak English or not.

Suppose the French guy had learned Hindi instead and had shown up at the wedding to tell her how much he admired her for X YZ things like her kindness , well mannered nature,patience etc..if the daughter and the husband had to face the awkwardness of a total stranger from another part of the world picking up a foreign language and telling the lady they had stopped valuing ,how much she mattered , it would have been interesting. Or something else

I hated the fact that Shashi had to step into their world to be seen and not the other way. I love the movie anyway . It had its moments. And lovely sarees.

I liked the ending. It was realistic. All she wanted was some respect from her own family. Wasn't that what the film was all about? She loved her family and she was hurt but there was no indication that she wanted to start over or move on or move away from her family.

I'm glad they kept it real.

Originally posted by: Fallen-Embers

I have a problem with the way Shashi let her husband and her daughter get away with everything. Even the ending does not seem to imply otherwise. So, yeah, the entire movie was problematic to me in that sense.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the movie.

I really liked the movie because it didn't try to be anything more than what it was. I always see these growth movies like Queen or Zindagi na milegi dobara or even the recent Vidya mom movies and they act like one event changed their whole outlook towards life and now they are completely different people, living a different life. I am sure life might happen like that for some people but most of us just go on living in the same life just equipped with more knowledge. Most changes for us is gradual.

There is nothing wrong with her mundane mom life if she chose it herself. In fact calling a homemaker's life mundane seems a little hurtful. I haven't watched the movie recently but her problem wasn't with being a housewife, was it? It was just she felt looked down upon because she wasn't as "modern" as her family wanted her to be. Toward the end she learns to be her family's version of modern but at the same time the journey teaches her nothing was wrong with her to begin with and the problem is with them for not respecting her. She didn’t have problem with making laddoos, her problem was her husband attaching her worth to laddoos.

Originally posted by: Rhimjhimsawan

I really liked the movie because it didn't try to be anything more than what it was. I always see these growth movies like Queen or Zindagi na milegi dobara or even the recent Vidya mom movies and they act like one event changed their whole outlook towards life and now they are completely different people, living a different life. I am sure life might happen like that for some people but most of us just go on living in the same life just equipped with more knowledge. Most changes for us is gradual.

There is nothing wrong with her mundane mom life if she chose it herself. In fact calling a homemaker's life mundane seems a little hurtful. I haven't watched the movie recently but her problem wasn't with being a housewife, was it? It was just she felt looked down upon because she wasn't as "modern" as her family wanted her to be. Toward the end she learns to be her family's version of modern but at the same time the journey teaches her nothing was wrong with her to begin with and the problem is with them for not respecting her. She didn’t have problem with making laddoos, her problem was her husband attaching her worth to laddoos.

Problem with movie's ending was not that she returned to her old life. Problem is that the hubby and child *saw* her only because she could speak English and could interact with others.

I don't think we should vilify the husband and daughter.

Did they take Shashi for granted? Yes. Did they make fun of her for not knowing English? Yes. Were they mean and unappreciative? Yes. But were they malicious? No. Did they intend to/want to cause pain to Shashi? No. At the end of the day, they did love her. They were misdirected and misguided by a patriarchal society that somehow reveres English over native languages. And Shashi too loved her family no matter how flawed they were.

The movie ends at a point where the husband and daughter realize their mistake and have an opportunity to be repentant and makeup. There is hope for Shashi to have a more respectful and fulfilling family life. It doesn't make sense for her to walk away because until now, she didn't express herself and her family didn't know better. All of them deserve a chance to be happier together.

If even after realizing their mistake if the family goes back to their old ways thinking less of Shashi, mocking, or disrespecting her - then perhaps she would be better off leaving a toxic environment. But with what's covered in the movie - I see it as misguided but not toxic.

That being said it's a personal choice too. Had Shashi been like, I am done being disrespected - this is over - I would have supported that too. Each person draws the line differently.

Originally posted by: Harley_Quinn

@bold, Nice of you to assume things about my personal life without knowing shit about me.

I wasn't specifically talking about the movie when I asked you that question. Your statement implied that you're saying it's always better to not leave your family than to leave it.

I reminded you about the toxic families, to ask you whether it's better or worse to take divorce when the spouse is toxic....and you conveniently backtracked from your statements.

For your information, domestic violence ain't necessary in a family to be called toxic....and neither does your spouse has to be a complete asshole for you to leave the marriage.

This is an old age regressive mentality. Some people just want different things in life and that's why they get separated....and that's any day better than making compromises in your life for the spouse, because only one gender is expected to make compromises and sacrifices in a marriage.

It's actually EASY to NOT walk out of marriage than to walk out, because that's what society expects from you.

@ blue- I apologize, that was not my intention to assume anything about ur personal life but if it looked like that...I am sorry..

@ Bold...what ever I said was in reference to the movie...but yes of course if its a toxic marriage...no sane person would say that stay there.....its better to get divorced....what I meant was that Shashi's marriage was far from being toxic.....and yes if marriages have to work...both spouses have to make some compromises...not just the wife...

Its not easy to walk out of marriages ...not because of society but because there is so much at stake and before one walks out...they should make sure that there is no hope of saving it...especially if kids are involved....if nothing works....walking out is the option.

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Problem with movie's ending was not that she returned to her old life. Problem is that the hubby and child *saw* her only because she could speak English and could interact with others.

Not true. They heard because she voiced it out for the first time ever that too without outing them and in her own subtle style.

It was a perfect end to tge realistic story. Why would she go with the French guy when she's not even looking for a lover in the first place??? She's looking for self worth and some respect from her family , which she got in the end. And, suppose if she did go with the French guy, wats the gurantee that he'll also not change in the future like her hubby, abd treat her badly eventually?? Bcoz, in reality, people change in the relationships and start taking each other for granted. Sashi did the right thing, by putting her foot down in the end, and making her family realize that she'll not take their shot anymore.