The two-faced guilt trap - Page 14

Originally posted by: Krantikari

I'm not sure if the makers intend to whitewash Malini...but you are right that her emotional manipulations are more obvious to the audience. Though I think this is done deliberately to show how ineffective and destructive her manipulations are. That even though others may or may not consciously realise it, they still don't fall for it and frankly don't care for it. Like the whole sindoor debacle...she was asking for pity when she said that the sindoor was not in her kismat but no one indulged her or showed sympathy for her.😆 They all left to eat lunch straight after. Today also, she tried her manipulation/martyr act on Adi in the kitchen by saying that she will go and eat with people who want to eat with her. But he stayed and ate on the kitchen floor anyway...this to me proves that while he may not consciously realise her manipulations, it still has zilch effect on him. And after every episode of martyr act/emotional manipulation, Malini heightens the gap between her & Adi/ the Ts'. It started with the bedaag trust convo, when she was basically trying to manipulate him into not hiding things from her but did it work? He started hiding things from her even more after that point and distanced himself from her to the extent that now he doesn't even feel like acknowledging her existence. The Ts' also distanced themselves from her after she made a public spectacle of her relationship problems with Adi. So although her emotional manipulations/martyr act are grating, I think the purpose is not to whitewash her, but to show how ineffective and destructive it all is. And it is ineffective precisely because it is not obvious to Adi/others like you rightly pointed out. Others never understand what she wants because she never communicates her feelings directly which makes people distance themselves from her lest they offend her again. This has destroyed her relationship with Adi and it will destroy her relationship with the Ts' as well.

And I think that as her insecurities re. Imlie increase, she may put her down more frequently to show her her 'place' and stake claim on Adi like she did today. She might do things to distance Imlie from Adi & the Ts' like when she did not allow Imlie to attend that family dinner after Nishant bought a car. Back then, I did not understand why she did it but now it's clear to me that she didn't want Imlie to attend because it was a family dinner and she always thought of Imlie as a servant (remember Sundar was also not sitting at the table with everyone). We may also get scenes like holi day when she didn't allow Imlie to put colour on her. So I think she will continue hurting Imlie in her subtle ways which will make Imlie distance herself from Adi and the Ts' and that will diminish her in their eyes once they find out.

So overall, the kind of diminishing I'm talking about is not in the sense that others will think of her with less regard, it's more about distance. Her emotional manipulations/martyr acts and self-destructive behaviour will distance her from others to such an extent that any bachi kuchi guilt and sympathy they have for her will fly out the window. She will become a spare part at the Ts' house. Besides, how long can you feel guilt and sympathy for someone who you feel little to no connection to? Love will always override the kind of guilt that stems from obligation.

Re. Adi blaming himself: 😵Noo.. I really hope this won't happen.😆

Malini didi aur subtle 😲 Aap bahut hi hopeful ho 😆

Originally posted by: MuteButton

Will come back in a bit and elaborate/ respond on posts but the LEAST, absolute LEAST Aditya can do right now is protect Imlie from being a universal punching bag; from being Malini’s punching bag. If he cannot do even that much, he should set her free.

+100. The bar is already pretty low for him....lol this is the bare minimum expected of him so if he can't even do this much, then maaf karo bhai sabko.

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

+1

The adi who was willing to fight otherwise was just made a dumb spectator and that is the problem.. he was fighting for imlie till the conversation in the room started but when ma'am started unloading her crap he couldn't even be let it be just stop you leave imlie and you talk to me.. that is the problem... he could insert your mom does it and you can't see it in between the dressing down imlie too but couldn't say a token stop .. she did look helplessly at him in between but he was too busy feeling sad for himself it was only when she said she isn't coming in between jab iske antennas khade huye.. like why can't she just leave then 😒

@bold: LOL and wasn't that just the most disappointing bit? Is sab mein bhi he was busy feeling bad for HIMSELF more than the girl who was actually being denigrated by Malini? Waah Babusahib😆.....and then you expect this poor girl to go along with whatever you say?😆

Originally posted by: Lodestar

The only reason that they didn't show Adi standing up for Imlie in the last scene is to give the main trio a reality check if you will.

Imlie- If she remains Ok with the current status quo then Malini is definitely going to get hurt & her & Adi cannot defend themselves due to their guilt. They themselves will also remain unhappy.

Adi- If he remains Ok with the current status quo then he will continue to hurt both Imlie & Malini. Also Malini will not let him out of their relationship so easily.

Malini- If she remains Ok with the current status quo then she will not only become more distant from Adi but Adi is showing signs of getting closer to Imlie.

This is to give them impetus to move onto the next stage.

This is the only logical reason that has chances of being somewhat correct. Rest all reasonings that we have done are just speculations.

LOL chalo Imlie ka maan liya she needed a reality check.....but Adi literally is shown in every epi thinking to himself that he will keep on hurting both Imlie and Malini like this....so ismein kya naya reality check hua just with this one scene?

Reality check toh tab hota if he realized and acted on what he saw in that scene.....yeh toh bas statue banke khadaa reh gaya as his pyari Malini demeaned his newly discovered true love Imlie😆

He better have some SOLID explanation for his cowardice in this scene or it's going to be hard to reconcile to.....bade bade bhaashans se nahin chalega yeh rishta he claims is now his one big truth in life.....agar us rishte ke liye khade nahin ho sakte even on a token basis toh sabko maaf karo and aage badho.

I still feel this is too much expectation from Imlie even after all that has happened ki WOH Adi ko koi "permission" de and tabhi Adi can take a stand for what he wants.....oh please😆.....when he wants to get his way, bahut kuch kar leta hai yeh.....so this excuse of Imlie rings even more hollow especially when he lets Imlie be demeaned by Malini in the process.

The makers have otherwise managed to balance the sensitivities of the situation quite well for a while....but now at this crucial juncture, they seem to be floundering with Adi in the need to dial up Imlie's humiliation at the hands of "innocent" Malini.

Originally posted by: MuteButton

+1 to the post

@bold - especially this. I just put it in another post. Aditya did what he did initially when he first brought Imlie to his house or when he got married to Malini. But right now is different, a whole lot of different. He cannot give her any rights, fine. He is waiting for her to accept her feelings for him, fine. But he toh already knows his feelings right? The bare minimum she deserves is not to be yelled at by all and sundry. Especially not Malini. Especially not for his faults. Imlie, this time around, returned for him. He knows that. And despite that he lets his guilt over Malini overtake his feelings for Imlie? What absolute bull. And all this has absolutely nothing to do with any vachan. Keeping his vachan to Malini in no way means he lets everyone and specifically her walk over Imlie at the first given opportunity.

That entire schooling Malini put Imlie through was so needless. And what for? Because she was mad at Aditya she decided to take it out on Imlie? The woman has no idea how to deal with confrontation. She has an issue with her husband, deal with the husband. Why bring in the girl she thinks is the ghar ki naukrani. If the makers were planning to get Malini to gain brownie points, that scene just did not achieve it.

Re balloons convo: Exactly. How do they go from what transpired to a convo about each other in that setting? Khud toh twisted hai hi, yeh sab karke Imlie ke dimaag ka chutney bana raha hai.

@bold: Word.....and this is why I'm left staggered at the amount of mental/emotional torment this poor girl is dealing with and uske baad bhi us par yeh pressure daalna hai ki TUM bataao kya karna hai? lol khud toh muh khol nahin paaye Babusahib, ab Imlie se permission chahiye to decide ki kiske saath ghar basaayenge? 😆

Her expression in the precap just makes me so sad for her....Imagine, after what she just had to witness - chaahe Adi uncomfortable tha with Malini hugging him, which isn't really the point......us visual ke hurt and pain ke baad bhi, then the extended denigration session from DIDI ke baad bhi where patidev stayed mute, yeh expectation hai ki IMLIE khud ko sambhaal le and Babusahib ke questions ka answer de.....lol.

How on earth do they expect us to feel bad for anyone other than Imlie in this scenario is beyond me😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

@bold: LOL and wasn't that just the most disappointing bit? Is sab mein bhi he was busy feeling bad for HIMSELF more than the girl who was actually being denigrated by Malini? Waah Babusahib😆.....and then you expect this poor girl to go along with whatever you say?😆

You are right about Adi feeling bad for himself first. What Malini said abt knocking the door is correct, but that could have been done by telling her one time and Adi right there could have asked imli politely to go. Maybe Adi felt that he was caught ‘cheating’ with Malini!🙄

I was always confused about Malini’s character. Whatever happened to Malini was unfair, but all her actions will only be justified when she is aware of the facts. She could not be justified in treating Imli this way as she is not aware as of now. Looks like Malini prefers Adi to hate Imli than to be kind to her 🤔. She would have been all right and in fact defended Imli. This shows that Malini was never really interested in being fair to Imli. If she was, she would have joined Adi and Imli to eat in the kitchen.

Originally posted by: kuttapu

You are right about Adi feeling bad for himself first. What Malini said abt knocking the door is correct, but that could have been done by telling her one time and Adi right there could have asked imli politely to go. Maybe Adi felt that he was caught ‘cheating’ with Malini!🙄

I was always confused about Malini’s character. Whatever happened to Malini was unfair, but all her actions will only be justified when she is aware of the facts. She could not be justified in treating Imli this way as she is not aware as of now. Looks like Malini prefers Adi to hate Imli than to be kind to her 🤔. She would have been all right and in fact defended Imli. This shows that Malini was never really interested in being fair to Imli. If she was, she would have joined Adi and Imli to eat in the kitchen.

Exactly. Malini's recent behavior with Imlie has proven that she never really cared for Imlie beyond doing "ehsaans" on her in order to prop up her own image in front of Adi or the family. She was happy to do things for Imlie when Adi wasn't giving Imlie importance....but the moment Adi started showing care/concern for Imlie, Malini's first reaction is envy and then trying to put down Imlie.....her actions in this epi proved that she ultimately did always consider Imlie a servant that she was doing favors on by helping her study etc.....Imlie was never given that actual respect/status in Malini's eyes....it was all just for show.

As for Adi....yeah you have a point....seemed like he was too embarrassed for himself that Imlie caught him in Malini's arms like that😆.....maybe that's what rendered him so mute that he couldn't even manage the situation enough to ask Imlie to politely leave....and Malini took advantage of the whole situation by going the extra mile to put down Imlie.

I guess we should just brace ourselves for an ajeeb behaving "flipper" Aditya once a week...😆

On a separate note, that whole bet thing was so funny...Aparna did the same thing in a much more mature manner was chaotizing the kids doing something funnier... its was such a mother thing to do that khud karo to its ok, but kids should have correct manners 😆 plus making fun of your relatives so typical family trait... it was such a nice thing to see them doing it...😊

Originally posted by: pamk06

I guess we should just brace ourselves for an ajeeb behaving "flipper" Aditya once a week...😆

On a separate note, that whole bet thing was so funny...Aparna did the same thing in a much more mature manner was chaotizing the kids doing something funnier... its was such a mother thing to do that khud karo to its ok, but kids should have correct manners 😆 plus making fun of your relatives so typical family trait... it was such a nice thing to see them doing it...😊

Lol just as we started to think he won’t do his usual flip-flops anymore, you’re telling us we should go back to the default expectation ki yeh one day Imlie jaap karega and next day laachaar Dev mode mein waapis jaayega? Baap re 😆

Jo thode bahut brownie points kamaaye Babusahib ne all down the drain again? 😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Lol just as we started to think he won’t do his usual flip-flops anymore, you’re telling us we should go back to the default expectation ki yeh one day Imlie jaap karega and next day laachaar Dev mode mein waapis jaayega? Baap re 😆

Jo thode bahut brownie points kamaaye Babusahib ne all down the drain again? 😆

Now when you put it this way, I guess that is not what I should be saying.😆.but kya karein .some tears from Malini devi and everything was "chu mantar" for BBSB.....Moon jaap ki itni aadat hain isse ki he still cannot see beyond calm, quiet and understanding Malini. Pata nahi humein hi kyun nahi dikhti hain yeh wali Malini...