How will you handle this?

Aslam Alikum

There has been a lot of discussion about the relationship between the characters Bondita and Anirudh in this play. At this young age, love for a man older than her, which Bondita does not understand at all.

There is a lot of fan fiction but today we talk about it as real life

1: Have you ever loved someone older than you?

2: what do you think Bondita should do?

3: if you were in the place of Anuradha, how would you understand Bondita and control her Thoughts?

Please answer by putting yourself in the place of both Bondita and Anirudh

Thanks for asking this!!

As a working woman now in her early thirties, I correlate why Bondita's situation and her reactions frustrate me so much.

In my late teens and early twenties, I liked someone who was not so much older than me but had studied and was going to work for something completely different than what I did. I made drastic changes in my career path and got posted in a company in his city in a job that did not match my optimum career expectations hoping to end up with him.

We were friends, GREAT friends, even to the point of advising, guiding and mentoring each other while taking life changing decisions. But he loved someone else, for quite some time, and I hoped if I stayed in his city long enough, he would eventually fall for me.

Stuck in my crappy job, I should have then done an MBA. I attempted CAT (at His advice, yeah!) got a 97.6 percentile too, but an IIM would mean having to leave the city, so I skipped that opportunity. I wasted time till I was 27 and he eventually married the girl he loved.

That opened my eyes and I looked around. I was about to hit 30 with a non-creative job and nothing significant in my career to boast about. I come from a family which claims to be broad-minded BUT, where a woman should be doing something exceptionally well if she wants freedom. My parents eventually started calling me back to "settle down". A lot of my younger cousins wanted to get the opportunity I did, but thanks to my wastage of time, their parents didn't want them to take a risk so mediocre.

So I started at 28, worked super hard, and now at 31 am in a better company, have bought my own apartment, in line for a good promotion, dating a great guy and also doing part-time MBA from a reputed Government university (not-IIM). But now that I look back, I think I would have progressed so much more had I not missed those two very "vital" opportunities for luuuvvvvv.

As Indian women, self-dependence still is very expensive for us, so anyone getting those opportunities and having the right potential to use it, should not waste it at any cost. I woke up, but many ladies are still sleeping, still gaslighted into thinking attaining love is the ultimate goal.

PS, regarding Him, he is still happily married, still great friends with me, my boyfriend and he know each other, and we still give each other life-changing advice. Nothing changed in the rest of the world. But I had slept, and now have woken up.

I hope the character of Bondita does too!!

In your case boy was already fall in love with other girl

anirudh loves bondita but dont want to accept it 

what u did for your life is women empowerment.

i dont know how makers r showing women empowerment through anirudh's second marriage

When I was eighteen, I befriended a doctor's brother. Dr. Sahib's clinic was just outside his house as well as his brother's medical store. A daughter of Dr. Sahib who is nine years younger than me and a son who is fifteen years younger than me.

I used to go to see my friend and we used to sit in the same medical store. We used to read novels and play PlayStation. Dr. Sahib's children used to come there from time to time. I never felt anything special she was just like normal children. I also had the same relationship with these children. Sometimes I used to tease their uncle with them. And sometimes we used to watch cricket matches together at Dr. Sahib's house.

No man went to their house except me. After a while I felt that the girl was spending more time with me but I still didn't feel anything special. One day I saw some names and percentages written in a copy and lines were drawn on it. The highest percentage was written next to my name. When I asked, he wrote me his name and my name on a piece of paper, then collected it and when there were only two Digits left, she wrote a percentage in front of it and said that you love me this much. I laughed and it was over.

But then I started thinking about it and I thought this girl considered me her role model or a hero. I was  an ordinary boy at that time, nor was my academic record brilliant, nor was there any great achievement in my daily life. The only thing that happened was that I was born in the house of a Rich landlord. as flash asks batman what his superpower is he said i am rich lols

First I stopped going to her house then I stopped going to my friend's medical store. Then almost left my friend. Just say hello on the phone.

At the age of twelve, this girl brought her mother to our house saying that her computer was not working properly. I didn't think it was special and went to his house to fix it. Then this computer started to break down again and again. So I also understand it.

Then one day I boldly explained to her that you are deliberately breaking down your pc and I am much older than you. You should befriend someone of your age and I am friends with someone else, etc.

But it did not have much effect. So I started to look bad. I befriended some  girls and became a flirt.

I told her to pay attention to his education and then I left the country. After texting me for some time, She got admission in medical.

Now I am married and the father of a beautiful son and She is a doctor today

I went away and got rid of this problem

Maybe sending Bondita to a hostel would be a good option, not second marriage

Originally posted by: ahmedlone

In your case boys was already fall in love with other girl

anirudh loves bondita but dont want to accpent it 

what u did for your life is women empowerment.

i dont know how makers r showing women empowerment through anirudh's second marriage

The fact that he loves her or not is not the question.

Even if Ani is in love with Bon, how does it justify her wasting so many opportunities she got?

She could have been burnt at the stake, arrested, sold into flesh trade, all because she is a woman. But she is getting so many chances other women didn't get in those times. Ani risked his life, his reputation, his family's reputation and his career so many times for this.

The guy in my life, I know he will take a bullet for me, but I was wrong to expect he will marry me and waste my time for it.

I know, teenage is all about new feelings, excitement and romance, but it is also the time one can achieve something. We can watch all TV shows about protagonists starting late in life and succeeding but about 50% of challenges they faced were because they started late.

She is also twisting her priorities because of peer pressure. One woman's success paves way for so many others which she is also destroying.

Originally posted by: ahmedlone

When I was eighteen, I befriended a doctor's brother. Dr. Sahib's clinic was just outside his house as well as his brother's medical store. A daughter of Dr. Sahib who is nine years younger than me and a son who is fifteen years younger than me.

I used to go to see my friend and we used to sit in the same medical store. We used to read novels and play PlayStation. Dr. Sahib's children used to come there from time to time. I never felt anything special she was just like normal children. I also had the same relationship with these children. Sometimes I used to tease their uncle with them. And sometimes we used to watch cricket matches together at Dr. Sahib's house.

No man went to their house except me. After a while I felt that the girl was spending more time with me but I still didn't feel anything special. One day I saw some names and percentages written in a copy and lines were drawn on it. The highest percentage was written next to my name. When I asked, he wrote me his name and my name on a piece of paper, then collected it and when there were only two Digits left, she wrote a percentage in front of it and said that you love me this much. I laughed and it was over.

But then I started thinking about it and I thought this girl considered me her role model or a hero. I was  an ordinary boy at that time, nor was my academic record brilliant, nor was there any great achievement in my daily life. The only thing that happened was that I was born in the house of a Rich landlord. as flash asks batman what his superpower is he said i am rich lols

First I stopped going to her house then I stopped going to my friend's medical store. Then almost left my friend. Just say hello on the phone.

At the age of twelve, this girl brought her mother to our house saying that her computer was not working properly. I didn't think it was special and went to his house to fix it. Then this computer started to break down again and again. So I also understand it.

Then one day I boldly explained to her that you are deliberately breaking down your pc and I am much older than you. You should befriend someone of your age and I am friends with someone else, etc.

But it did not have much effect. So I started to look bad. I befriended some  girls and became a flirt.

I told her to pay attention to his education and then I left the country. After texting me for some time, She got admission in medical.

Now I am married and the father of a beautiful son and She is a doctor today

I went away and got rid of this problem

Maybe sending Bondita to a hostel would be a good option, not second marriage

You are right...you went away from her...bcz there is no relation with her...just a friend...

But here she is his wife..he has relation with her...he must have make her understand about the teenage crush and make her understand how important to be independent by showing other women and ask her to concentrate on her carrier first and then she will get maturity to understand why he was saying this...

And after all this he can send her to hostel saying one change in you will lit the light in other girls lives also... definitely she will do it..

But torturing her like this..by marrying other women and making her feel worthless...is not accepted...

BTW you have made a good decision..👏

Originally posted by: ahmedlone

Aslam Alikum

There has been a lot of discussion about the relationship between the characters Bondita and Anirudh in this play. At this young age, love for a man older than her, which Bondita does not understand at all.

There is a lot of fan fiction but today we talk about it as real life

1: Have you ever loved someone older than you?

2: what do you think Bondita should do?

3: if you were in the place of Anuradha, how would you understand Bondita and control her Thoughts?

Please answer by putting yourself in the place of both Bondita and Anirudh

I appreciate your initiative...

Coming to your questions I will give my POV...

1. No I did not come across any love for older man..me or my surrounded ones..

2.Bonditha is not at fault...she was influenced by kaka, society and added teenage crush..newly developing hormonal changes in her...and most importantly she was desperate from the moment he said he won't accept her as patni...

I think it will subsidise as her age increases of all this marriage thing and his baar baar na bolna..na ho tha tho...but now I don't know..

3.if I was in place of Anirudh...

I also would have been irked of her behaviour..and sad for her for neglecting her studies...then I would have calmly go to her and say: 

Bonditha mujhe patha he tumhare man me kahi saare prashn he..but ajao me tumhe kahi lejatha hu...and take her to women who are tolerating many atyachar in the society..and girls who are wasting  their childhood by household chores...and ask her about their rights...is it their right to bear such tortures...agar e log aatma nirbal hothe..tho esab sehnese mukhthi praapth hogi na..?

Tho samjho insab ka mukthi tumhare iss haatho me..agar tum barrister banjaugi..tho insab ke liye prerna banogi tum aur itna hi nahi tum insab ki haq keliye ladsakthi ho..tumhare iss ek kadam pure Tulsipur ki saari bacche aur aaurthokeliye..ek naya prerna hogi..

Aur esab karanekeliye pehle tum aatma nirbal hona zaroori he..isiliye mera naam tumhare naam se judne se zyaada tumhari Naam sirf barrister Bonditha hi achha hoga..aur insab me mera naam bhi jhudega but pati ke roop me nahi..tumhare shikshak ki roop me...vahi roop me jaanega me aur vahi mujhe bahut khushi milthi he...insab me me tumhare saath dunga agar kisi bhi mod pe tume meri zaroorat padega...tum mujhe tumhare saath paogi...

Ab boliye tum har ladki ki tarah sir pati babu keliye bani ya insabhi aurto keliye..?

Originally posted by: Janu.301017

You are right...you went away from her...bcz there is no relation with her...just a friend...

But here she is his wife..he has relation with her...he must have make her understand about the teenage crush and make her understand how important to be independent by showing other women and ask her to concentrate on her carrier first and then she will get maturity to understand why he was saying this...

And after all this he can send her to hostel saying one change in you will lit the light in other girls lives also... definitely she will do it..

But torturing her like this..by marrying other women and making her feel worthless...is not accepted...

BTW you have made a good decision..👏

it was very difficult.  thing is some thing is still in my heart .   thats why i watched balika vadhu and now i m watching barrister babu.  i  killed that relation with my own hand but watching other kids falling in love each other make me happy.  it is so hurtful to watch bondita struggling for her husband's attentions.   i am 36 year old now. for a long period i stay away from girls afraid of any new love relation.   on the other hand what anirudh is doing it will hurt bondita forever she may never like any man in future. or she may think all men are flirty they use girls like a paper and then throw them

The girl looks like a 10 years old....if I was in her place..I don't think I would have been able to take a life changing decision...10-14 years old children don't think about all this...If a man was or is in love with a child...I would say take that child miles away from him 

Originally posted by: Janu.301017

I appreciate your initiative...

Coming to your questions I will give my POV...

1. No I did not come across any love for older man..me or my surrounded ones..

2.Bonditha is not at fault...she was influenced by kaka, society and added teenage crush..newly developing hormonal changes in her...and most importantly she was desperate from the moment he said he won't accept her as patni...

I think it will subsidise as her age increases of all this marriage thing and his baar baar na bolna..na ho tha tho...but now I don't know..

3.if I was in place of Anirudh...

I also would have been irked of her behaviour..and sad for her for neglecting her studies...then I would have calmly go to her and say: 

Bonditha mujhe patha he tumhare man me kahi saare prashn he..but ajao me tumhe kahi lejatha hu...and take her to women who are tolerating many atyachar in the society..and girls who are wasting  their childhood by household chores...and ask her about their rights...is it their right to bear such tortures...agar e log aatma nirbal hothe..tho esab sehnese mukhthi praapth hogi na..?

Tho samjho insab ka mukthi tumhare iss haatho me..agar tum barrister banjaugi..tho insab ke liye prerna banogi tum aur itna hi nahi tum insab ki haq keliye ladsakthi ho..tumhare iss ek kadam pure Tulsipur ki saari bacche aur aaurthokeliye..ek naya prerna hogi..

Aur esab karanekeliye pehle tum aatma nirbal hona zaroori he..isiliye mera naam tumhare naam se judne se zyaada tumhari Naam sirf barrister Bonditha hi achha hoga..aur insab me mera naam bhi jhudega but pati ke roop me nahi..tumhare shikshak ki roop me...vahi roop me jaanega me aur vahi mujhe bahut khushi milthi he...insab me me tumhare saath dunga agar kisi bhi mod pe tume meri zaroorat padega...tum mujhe tumhare saath paogi...

Ab boliye tum har ladki ki tarah sir pati babu keliye bani ya insabhi aurto keliye..?

i dont understand why makers start this second marriage thing . whatever u write can b a good option why they start this crap. trp is falling day by day even i saw praviish's interview he was apologizing for this track.