SHAURYA AND CEN? A Psychological profile analysis - Page 3

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

This is a really insightful post! I love reading about character motivation and traits from a psychological perspective, thank you so much for this!

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

No I agree we always tend to blame the mother but here I blame Shaan more than Astha. Astha had reasons for leaving but neglecting Shaurya totally was all Shaan. He is a horrible parent even if he might a good husband and if he loved his son he should have taken his care.

I am not only talking about Shaan and Aastha, I am talking about Shaurya too. His idea of protecting his child is to get a homemaker who will cater to all the needs of the child while he will do what normally a man does, go out and earn money.

Also, his male entitlement that was on full display yesterday is not because of emotional neglect. Like someone said here, all the the other men in in this show with the exception of Shaan have that attitude of being superior to women and that is a problem of of our society.

@bold: Shaan is not a good husband either. If he loved Aastha, he should at the least have looked after her son when she had to leave.

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

I am planning to write a Profile analysis on Anokhi too. So do stay tuned for that. And I have written I in no am justifying or defending him. In fact I am emphatically mentioned that he needs therapy and psychological help. How does that giving him a free pass for his bad behavior??? Also I hope you understand the difference between Abuser and victim.

Thx..I need not..shaurya is too distasteful for me now to try to understand him. As for other characters what's the problem in understanding their psychology, afterall , each problem is rooted to one's childhood and upbringing ..the environment they have been brought up in and the people they were surrounded with...that's what influence their mind the most.....the powerful exploits the weak and they enjoy it.....That's how the world functions...which is sad... shaurya will go that way ? Of course not but , he will keep switching modes as a typical itv hero.

i hope healthy discussion is welcome. no amount of disclaimers can refute the fact that we keep trying to explain ourselves that our belief isn't wrong ...our logical mind can't see it as wrong till the time a complete picture comes up and that happens only in the real world by experiencing it...hypothetically anything and anyone is ok....he's bad but he's also good..he did wrong but he said sorry..he lashed out but he was hurt as a child...there r a lot of good things in him, he will change , love will change him, his mother wasn't there for him, he's handsome also...caring also..protective also.. so on and so forth.

Probably that's the reason so many women put up with such kind of men In real life......anyways..shaurya isn't an extreme case ..but with his toxic family around , I am sure anokhi will never have a smooth ride with him..Sadly the story is over for me before it really began..

Originally posted by: _charu_

I wonder what childhood issues did anokhis father and bablis husband have , and why do the audience loathe them ? Why only them ? Devi..alok..tej...shauryas sisters...Shaan.. all are humans .... Pin the mistakes on childhood trauma , parents ,relatives and stay guilt free , that's what shaurya probably does.... N I wonder what exactly will shaurya do jo sabko galat lagega , I dun think there is anything so I'll pass..😆 when it's not his mistake whats there to correct? Aise bhi tomorrow he will save anokhis career so he is the droolworthy hero again, for anokhi and the audience.

Good point

Originally posted by: _charu_

Thx..I need not..shaurya is too distasteful for me now to try to understand him. As for other characters what's the problem in understanding their psychology, afterall , each problem is rooted to one's childhood and upbringing ..the environment they have been brought up in and the people they were surrounded with...that's what influence their mind the most.....the powerful exploits the weak and they enjoy it.....That's how the world functions...which is sad... shaurya will go that way ? Of course not but , he will keep switching modes as a typical itv hero.

i hope healthy discussion is welcome. no amount of disclaimers can refute the fact that we keep trying to explain ourselves that our belief isn't wrong ...our logical mind can't see it as wrong till the time a complete picture comes up and that happens only in the real world by experiencing it...hypothetically anything and anyone is ok....he's bad but he's also good..he did wrong but he said sorry..he lashed out but he was hurt as a child...there r a lot of good things in him, he will change , love will change him, his mother wasn't there for him, he's handsome also...caring also..protective also.. so on and so forth.

Probably that's the reason so many women put up with such kind of men In real life......anyways..shaurya isn't an extreme case ..but with his toxic family around , I am sure anokhi will never have a smooth ride with him..Sadly the story is over for me before it really began..

I agree...

The real life scenarios scare me

Originally posted by: Idiotboxer

I am not only talking about Shaan and Aastha, I am talking about Shaurya too. His idea of protecting his child is to get a homemaker who will cater to all the needs of the child while he will do what normally a man does, go out and earn money.

Also, his male entitlement that was on full display yesterday is not because of emotional neglect. Like someone said here, all the the other men in in this show with the exception of Shaan have that attitude of being superior to women and that is a problem of of our society.

@bold: Shaan is not a good husband either. If he loved Aastha, he should at the least have looked after her son when she had to leave.

Originally posted by: _charu_

Thx..I need not..shaurya is too distasteful for me now to try to understand him. As for other characters what's the problem in understanding their psychology, afterall , each problem is rooted to one's childhood and upbringing ..the environment they have been brought up in and the people they were surrounded with...that's what influence their mind the most.....the powerful exploits the weak and they enjoy it.....That's how the world functions...which is sad... shaurya will go that way ? Of course not but , he will keep switching modes as a typical itv hero.

i hope healthy discussion is welcome. no amount of disclaimers can refute the fact that we keep trying to explain ourselves that our belief isn't wrong ...our logical mind can't see it as wrong till the time a complete picture comes up and that happens only in the real world by experiencing it...hypothetically anything and anyone is ok....he's bad but he's also good..he did wrong but he said sorry..he lashed out but he was hurt as a child...there r a lot of good things in him, he will change , love will change him, his mother wasn't there for him, he's handsome also...caring also..protective also.. so on and so forth.

Probably that's the reason so many women put up with such kind of men In real life......anyways..shaurya isn't an extreme case ..but with his toxic family around , I am sure anokhi will never have a smooth ride with him..Sadly the story is over for me before it really began..

Originally posted by: Athiraachu

I agree...

The real life scenarios scare me

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

You've taken time to write this detailed report about Shaurya's issues, the least I can do to support is quote you ❤️ (Plus I like informational reports 😁)

Physical abuse can leave physical scars, while emotional abuse leaves psychic ones, but what about emotional neglect? The absence of emotional support in childhood can be as damaging and long-lasting as other traumas. But, because you can’t point to exactly where and when the wounding happened, it can be hard to identify and overcome it. Emotional neglect is not the same as child abuse because it is often unintentional. While some parents might intentionally ignore their child’s emotions, others may fail to notice or respond to their child’s emotional needs. Your parents could have tried their best and loved you very much, but they may still have neglected your emotional needs, nonetheless.

Within a family most people can't relate to eo because of either misunderstanding emotions or neglecting them, not giving any prominence which is a sad case. Yeah identification is tough specially if you don't pay proper attention. There are parents that I've come across who doesn't care about their children or their mentality due to problems they have most of the time, thus I can understand. What happens mostly is if the parents buy their kid whatever he/she asks for, they think the kid is satisfied with their parenting. But there's a hidden pain in that child's smile, if the parents don't talk to them properly or try to figure out if everything is okay with them.

Some phrases that may be familiar to a victim of childhood emotional neglect include:

“You don’t really feel that way.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“It’s not worth getting upset about.”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

When your parents don’t notice, value, or respond to your emotions, or they question your emotions when you express them, they unintentionally send a message to you that your feelings don’t matter or that there’s something wrong with the way you feel. To cope, you learned to bury your feelings or to transform an “unacceptable” emotion like anger into an “acceptable” one like anxiety. (He is never learnt to let his emotions out in an healthy way so he doesn't know how to deal with them and express it in the easier term he knows. Extreme anger. Anokhi always asks him about why are you so angry or why are you so bitter? It's not her fault. It's probably not his too. He doesn't know any other way to express his emotion. Anger is the easiest one)

Ikr? What parents think is because of their age they're mature & they know everything, be it emotions, necessities or future plans they've prepared for the child. Worst case scenario is when arguments happen due to the clashing povs & the child is left alone. This happens in real & such parents don't deserve to be called parents 👎🏼 This is why people mask their feelings & pretend that nothing is wrong with them. Such situations can end up tragically.

In this case, like you've stated Shaurya doesn't know how to deal with his emotions because he has never felt the need to & mainly because he had no one with him to share his sentiments. He just erupts like a freaking Volcano 😶

You’re afraid of relying on others, and you reject offers of help, support, or care.

You have a hard time identifying your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and life goals.

You are harder on yourself than you would be even on a stranger, and you lack self-compassion and understanding.

You blame yourself almost exclusively, direct your anger inward, or feel guilt or shame about your needs or feelings.

You feel numb, empty, or cut off from your emotions, or you feel unable to manage or express them.

You are easily overwhelmed and give up quickly.(Explains why he gets overwhelmed by his feelings for Anokhi. He is not equipped to deal with those as of now).

You have low self-esteem.(That's why this constant need for validation and attention and even need for being on a pedestal in Anokhi's eyes)

You are extra sensitive to rejection.( that's why that extreme reaction when he felt Anokhi "rejected" him and his behaving like an angry cheated spouse)

You believe you are deeply flawed, and that there’s something about you that is wrong even though you can’t specifically name what it is.

Perfectionism(That explains his Academic records, perfect relationship and even impeccable perfect dressing in suits blazers and jackets)

Realisation & acceptance is what Shaurya can't do because of all the reasons above. I get it, the trauma he had gone through, the repetitive negligence & extreme hatred are what has resulted in the person he has become. He doesn't know how to cope with the mere feelings of jealousy, affection & finally, love that any normal person has to deal with. Like what he said, what's wrong with me. Shaurya is having a hard time.

CEN Adults and their relationship problems:

Fear of Being Dependent on Others

Independence is a good quality to have. But having a deep-seated fear about depending on anyone for anything, never asking for help or support, is not healthy.

(That's why he hates how Anokhi is affecting him and his growing dependence on her)

Totally! He thinks as a woman (his overall trashy perspective), Anokhi was being dependent on him to get through the problems she had to face & he has most certainly though of himself as her 'messiah' being there for her but he's wrong like anything. Shaurya needs to know where he's coming from & why does he think about Anokhi so low.

You Don’t Really Know Yourself

When you meet new people and have to tell them about yourself, do you find it difficult? Do you know your strengths and weaknesses? What you like and don’t like? Victims of CEN tend to not know themselves as well as they should.

(That's why Shaurya comes off as confused soul. Because he genuinely doesn't know what to do and how to make it go away.)

You’re a People Pleaser

You spend a lot of time trying to meet other people’s needs and pay little attention to your own. You’re hard on yourself but soft with others.

(That's why he always tries to please Devi and Tej even if he might not subscribe to their views and thoughts and not give support to Kanchan and Gaytri.)

Haha, definitely. A people pleaser, that too a big one 😆 Shaurya feels obliged to treat Tej & Devi like the saviours with an anchor to his craft. He wants them to be happy & not upset. While trying to make others happy, not knowing how he can feel happy

You Feel Empty

This can feel different to different people. Maybe you feel an empty sensation in your gut, throat or chest. For some it comes and goes, for others, this feeling is there 24/7 – 365.

You Have Trouble Feeling Your Emotions

When your emotions were ignored as a child, you never learned how to feel them and express them in healthy ways. As an adult, do

You feel alone despite being around people who care for you.

When your emotions are walled off, you may not have access to the energy to generate closeness and connection. This can leave your feelings isolated and far away even if you are sitting in a room with others.

(Thats why inspite of having a large extended family Shaurya feels lonely even if people around you love you)

Relationships are one-sided.

Because CEN makes it difficult to be aware of your own emotions, it becomes difficult to share your thoughts and feelings with others. By not allowing yourself to take up space or contribute to a relationship, it can become more about the other person and less about you.

(That's why he couldn't really love Shagun.)

He doesn't even regret about what he did to Shagun which is more weird. There was not even an iota of love in his heart for her, just this picture of marrying a girl from an affluent family, with a status & name & ofc she's an intelligent mind as well, which tricked his mind. This is the real 'choti soch' 🤔

You have fewer and less rewarding relationships.

Due to relationships often being one-sided, they are less likely to be fulfilling. The lack of depth and sharing can cause relationships to be limited or short-lived. You can be a great friend to others, one who is always there, but never truly share what you are going through. Without taking chances to be vulnerable, your relationships may never reach their full potential.

Being social is draining.

By giving too much and not taking enough or sharing parts of yourself, a lot of energy is used up. You may not feel energized or filled-up while socializing because of the one-sided nature of interacting. Without taking time to just be yourself, so much energy is spent trying to be the person you think others want you to be.

(That's why he is a loner with no friends and no social life.)

I agree with all the facts you've pointed out. Shaurya unknowingly had gone through a rough patch, being brought up without a mother & knowingly is ignoring any kind of real relationship because of his trust issues because a) he doesn't understand the basic human need of an emotional connect & b) he doesn't know how to deal with the matters of heart.

How to deal with the issue and get better?

Emotionally Aware: By tuning into your feelings, and observing your behaviors, you are better able to understand yourself. This, in turn, will help you in how you respond to people around you.

Develop Emotion Skills: As you learn to identify your feelings, you can work towards accepting them, tolerating a range of emotions, manage them, and communicate them with others.

Learn Communication Skills: Once you are aware of your feelings and have the ability to deal with your emotions, letting others know how you feel comes next. You will be able to tell someone that you are hurt. You will be able to ask someone for what you want and need. You will be able to express when you’re angry.

Find a therapist: A therapist can’t undo your childhood or erase mistakes your parents made, but they can provide you with the emotional toolkit your parents didn’t. A good therapist can help you identify your emotions, ask for what you need, learn to trust others, build self-esteem, handle rejection, build self-love, and more

The End.

Hope we all can have a civil discussion on this sensitive topic.

Communication in Shaurya's situation is a must & he definitely, as we both have discussed in the recent posts (😆) needs help big time with a therapist or a professional psychiatrist. If he's incapable of dealing with any kind of emotion & often tries fidgeting with whatever comes his way through layers of anger & suppression, its he who will suffer at the end. Not anokhi, not Aastha, only him.

Also seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of! There are so many dimwitted people in this society who actually needs a therapist for themselves for believing that a person visits a therapist because they are mad, lunatic & they've a loose nut 🤬

This was a very explanatory post & I'm glad you shared the knowledge you have about the issue 💜

Great post🤗

Liked all the points u hit about Shaurya...i myself having done a minor in pyschology, i agree with you i would write a long post but dont have time right now...maybe later i will write in detail...otherwise u have hit nice points his behavior is shown this way cause of his childhood if parents or any caretaker should have given him the love n support he needed he might have been a different person...its always about nuture vs. nature some parts come from nuturing others from the environment one grows in...anyway great post loved it...👍🏼