Dear Raghav ,
The visuals are still fresh in my mind~the day you made it clear, in an uncivilised manner, that there’s no point in lecturing you regarding morals and honour because you’re a firm believer of the phrase that says “Everything is for sale, if you have enough money to buy it”.
Everything was going smoothly in our lives. Our days were peaceful, if monotonous. Yesterday passed without event and today became tomorrow with no distinction of any kind. Until you...you waltzed in, uninvited, more like bulldozed your way in our lives. You made me feel incapacitated in a way I never had felt before.
I couldn’t do anything except brood over the scene unfolding in front of my eyes as you wormed your way in my family’s heart. It wasn’t from the lack of effort to save my family from the capricious harm of a silver tongued devil, but because of your dogged determination that despite winning, I feel like I’ve lost big time.
I know I played dirty but I could ill afford to loose what was on stakes. I’m at peace with my intentions, I needed to do what I did. But, still, it bothers me, sometimes...Often. The unwavering smile on Pallavi’s face, her unceasing efforts to look happy aren’t enough to relieve the guilt. The realisation that I’ve done something really awful comes with a vengeance when I lie awake in my bed whole night rehearsing the justification of my deeds. I feel like an imposter sometimes, a shadow of the man I used to be, like I’ve no right on the love and care I see in Pallavi’s eyes.
So as a man who has lost the content of his heart and sleep of his nights to you, I’m entitled to be honest, brutally so. You, Raghav Rao are a despicable man and nothing would ever endear you to me. You replaced me as my girl’s hero the day you let me act like a whiny kid. You became the bigger person when you walked out of Pallavi’s life without making her ask that of you. The heart attack was staged to manipulate Pallavi into snapping the bond that was growing stronger with each passing day, you knew it, yet you decided to acquiesce quietly, much to my ephemeral elation.
I thought, with you gone our monotonous life will return, upto some extent it did. But Pallavi didn’t come back.... like she got stuck somewhere in the time she spent with you. Whole day she’d parade around in the house like a machine on autopilot programmed to act cheerful all day. She’s pretty convincing. Still, a fighter, never staying down if she fell or knocked over. Still, going out of her way to be kind to everyone around her.
But sometimes she struggles to keep tracks of present conversations. Like she couldn’t wait for the day to end and be alone. I sense loneliness in her silent sighs and the content in eyes as she scan the articles about you in newspapers.
When Farhad or Keerti visits she literally glows, a glimpse of happiness she could’ve had, with you by her side, if only I hadn’t done what I did. Everything they tell her about you is the fodder to her make believe world, in which, you’re still here, by her side. And she devours every word like it a salve to her bruised soul.
Vanity is a sin, I’m guilty of. My pride won’t allow me to apologise for what I did, for my actions weren’t driven by pure malice but out of a need to protect what I held dear in my heart. I don’t like you and probably never will, but I’ll try my best to not let the love of a father hold her back from seeking the happiness she deserve, the happiness that lies with you.
So be careful when you hold my girl....
Vijay Deshmukh
Author’s note :
Not sure whether it qualifies as an OS or not.... But the song “I loved her first...” inspired me to write this.
I can write Raghav’s reply if you want me to...
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