What I want to see tonight if there's an engagement.....too long I know...but this is my first and last attempt at an FF!
******************
She stood stunned by the announcement. Had she heard right? Did Ayesha actually say what she did? For a second, Prachi felt a swift flash of anger lance through her veins making her face flush. She quickly tampened her feelings.
Her eyes flew to Millind who stood there looking as stunned as she felt. He stared at Ayesha as though he was seeing her for the first time and not liking what he saw. Then he turned to her with an unreadable look on his impassive face. Yet , he seemed to be asking her something silently. She looked away…how could she show her dissent by a look or word? She didn't want to be responsible for exacerbating his delicate condition.
So, she turned to Neev with a smile on her face and held out her hand to him. Only he saw what an effort it was for her. He took her hand and pressed it reassuringly.
Milind turned away from the scene before him. He didn't see Prachi watch him go with her heart in her brimming eyes. He simply stared at the floor concentrating on putting one foot before the other. He couldn't understand the volcano of feeling bursting inside him. Why did he feel as though the earth had tilted under him when he heard Ayesha say those words? Why did they sound so damning to him? His heart had juddered to a standstill as though someone had cut off the blood supply to it. He'd felt cold for a second. He shook his head at this fantasy and ran up the stairs as though the hounds of hell were snipping at his ankles.
He closed his bedroom door and leaned back in exhaustion. The strain was too much. He was bleeding like an untended wound…and for some reason he felt as though he was bleeding inside as well. He went into the bathroom and washed away the grime and blood. He stared at himself and remembered what that policeman had called him. His mouth twisted in a smile. 'Lafanga…that was the word…shakal se to ye lafanga legte hai!' How true! Of course, he couldn't help his goonish looks but it hurt to hear someone actually say it to his face….he didn't know what embarrassed him more…actually hearing it said aloud and losing face or having Prachi hear it and saving his!
Another streak of pain seared through his head and he reeled back. What the heck was happening? The headaches were occurring too often for comfort. The worst one had hit him when Prachi had spoken to those strangers about their supposed union. The pictures that had kept flashing inside his brain then had caused a migraine of such proportion that he's actually thought he was dying. When Prachi told him that she'd simply spun a yarn so as not to seem out of place, he should have felt relieved. So why had he felt a deep sense of disappointment? He shook his thoughts away. It was time to shower and get dressed for the unexpected event downstairs.
Prachi stared at the gaghra choli laid out on the bed. It was a stunning combination of pastel blue and pink, her favourite colours. Ayesha had thought of everything, except consulting with the couple themselves. How could she go through with this? She loved no one else but Milind. She wanted no one else but him. How could she even contemplate exchanging rings with another person, even if that person was Neev, who understood her dilemma?
There was a knock on the door and Neev walked in. It never occurred to him to hesitate. Times out of number he'd walked in without a pause in the past. Suddenly, he stopped by the door and said, "Sorry, Prachi, I ought to have waited for your permission." Prachi looked up and smiled weakly, "It's ok Neev. I wanted to talk to you anyway. This engagement….it's not right and we both know it," she continued, missing the look of pain in his eyes. "But we have to go through with it. I nearly put milind's life in danger last night and am not about to let it happen again. No, listen to me, Neev,' she continued just as he was about to argue. She put her hand on his mouth as if to shut him up. His hands held her shoulders tenderly.
To the man standing by the door that stood slightly ajar, it looked as if he was eavesdropping on a private moment between lovers. Milind stood rooted to the spot…he knew he ought to move away but couldn't bring himself to do so.
"You know it has to happen and why. After waiting so long for things to work out and being careful that they don't go wrong, we can't possibly do otherwise. Please, Neev, don't say no. If this could save us from more pain and at the same time bring some happiness to the one I love, it's not wrong! I'll do anything….anything …" Prachi, paused on a choke.
Neev held her close in his arms and smoothed her hair. Outside, Milind turned away, myriad conflicting thoughts hitting him from all sides. What was that about? What did Prachi mean? It sounded as though she was persuading Neev to go through with the engagement. Why would he need persuading? Weren't they in love? The intimacy between them seemed to confirm that. Why should that make him feel uncomfortable? For a moment there, he'd wanted to thrust open the door and pull them apart. He couldn't forget the past few days he'd spent with Prachi….her presence was soothing somehow….she make a bad situation tolerable. This morning when he woke up and looked into those melting hazel eyes, he'd felt that everything was as it should be. Why did he never feel that way in ayesha's presence…she always seemed to agitate him…and irritate him specially of late when she was rude to Prachi. That made him feel protective towards the latter.
The party was in full swing by the time Prachi came down. She scanned the room for Milind and found him staring up at her with a peculiar expression on his face. He seemed to be blindsided and Prachi guessed, with some trepidation, that her appearance must have jolted his memory a bit. She wondered if that was a good thing or not.
Everyone was in a celebratory mood, especially Ayesha, who clung to Milind's arm like a leech, a satisfied smile playing on her face. Neev came up to Prachi and took her away to dance. The song playing was "Kaheno ko jashn manana hai from Jodha Akbar. " A fitting song for her mood," Prachi thought wryly. She danced half-heartedly, all the while watching Milind whose eyes seemed glued to her.
He couldn't take it anymore. The music, Prachi and Neev dancing, the oncoming headache and the accompanying flashes of images of him dancing with ….Prachi in his arms….was it what he wanted to see or what had actually happened before? Why was he so drawn to her and why was she looking at him like that? Why did he feel as though she was attracted to him too? Why did he feel that everything that was happening tonight was wrong? He turned abruptly and walked out.
She couldn't keep up this act for much longer, Prachi told herself desperately. She needed some fresh air or she'd faint. She realized she was tired beyond belief, both mentally and physically. She looked around and saw that nobody was looking at her. This was the right time to make her escape, she thought. She walked swiftly towards the French windows and disappeared into the enveloping coolness of the night air. She walked up the steps of the kiosk and allowed its darkness to close around her like a comfortable blanket. She sighed softly, "When will all this end? I can't take it anymore!" Unbidden tears slid down her cheeks. A small cry escaped her lips and she bent forward as if in pain.
Suddenly, she heard a movement to her side. A tall dark shadow detached itself and Milind stood before her. Her heart leapt in familiar joy and then took a nosedive when she saw the expression on his face. He looked angry, bewildered and pained, all at the same time.
He raised his hands to her shoulders and shook her slightly. "What's the matter, Prachi?" he rasped. "Why are you here and not dancing in bliss with Neev? That's what you always wanted, wasn't it? So, why are you behaving as though that's the last thing you desire?"
"…Milind….please, you're hurting me…let me go…" she whispered.
" Hurting you? What do you know about hurt except for delivering it?" he shouted unable to help himself. "You and your family are past masters at it….first my sister , then my father…now me…." he trailed into silence.
"You…Milind….what do you mean? " she replied, confused.
"Nothing….," he hesitated.
"Milind, please…" Prachi said worriedly.
"Please….that's what your family does always…please yourselves….that's what you're doing now aren't you….what game are you playing at? You come after me in a snow storm putting your life in danger for someone who says he hates you, you look after him as though he means something to you…then you talk about how much you care for Neev to your mother soon after that and then….and then yesterday in Pune….oh God! What am I saying…" Milind held his head as pain filled it.
Prachi tried to hold him but he pushed her away roughly, " No! Don't touch me….you can't and I can't allow you to….God! I'm going crazy…what are you doing to me….I'm engaged to be married to the love of my life and I can't take my mind off you! Your touch, your closeness, that look in your eyes…they haunt me….do you know that? Why do you do it if.... Watching you with him…Neev, kills me …..and it shouldn't!" he groaned.
"Milind..don't..I…." Prachi didn't know what to say or think…all she knew was that her heart had taken flight and was fluttering with both joy and fear.
She slipped her arms around his waist intending only to pacify him but the moment she touched him he came alive and held her to him tightly as if he was scared that she'd disappear.
"Prachi," he whispered in her ear, leaving a line of tiny desperate kisses along her neck. "Stop me please…this is not right but why does it feel so right?"
Prachi closed her eyes in pure delight and allowed herself to be lost in the sensations he was arousing in her. It was so long since she was in his arms like this.
But before she could fully enjoy the feelings he'd set in her, he fell backwards, holding on to the pillar behind him. He held his hands to his head and his whole body shook as if in fever.
Suddenly his right hand stretched before him as if trying to grasp someone and he yelled, "Look out, Prachi! The car……" and fainted into her arms.
Arjun
Cricket
Udne Ki Aasha
