Root of Evil-which woman broke this home?

What role has Ba played in the life of this family? She says a woman makes or breaks a family. Has

Ba's role been of making or breaking the family? It's all very well to respect older relatives but I feel

the root of all evils in this family is Ba. It seems that Mother-in-law's Taane/taunts should just be

brushed aside and lived with by bahus. But Ba is not Vanraj's Mother-in-law. Her comments are

judgements and valued opinions( not taunts) in the view of her son and grandchildren. Surely her

remarks ( over several years) about how stupid, poor and unsuitable Anupama is would have some

effect on her son's and her growing grand kids' minds. That's why they always blame Anupama for

everything, expect her to do everything and yet be called useless.

Ba said: I thought Kavya broke this family but no- Anupama broke this family.

If it is a woman who breaks or makes families, this family is certainly broken by Ba. Her years of

criticism, taunts and disrespect to the lady of the house, the mother of her grandchildren & the

partner of her son -this has broken the family by poisoning the root of any family which is mutual

respect. I would love to see an episode where Anupama calmy & kindly points this out to Ba.

Leela is definitely the main reason Vanraj and to some extent Dolly have patriarchal notions, the fact being that she thinks only a slap suffices the years for which Vanraj has cheated Anupamaa (note that she still doesn't think his emotional abuse to her is wrong).

Not completely but to some extent I will blame it on the fact that Anupamaa woke up a bit too late. The movie Thappad denoted a similar scenario where Amrita realizes that all she has been assuming to be okay was actually unjust when she was slapped.

But if Vanraj had never cheated, he would still have been and husband but Anupamaa would have let him run over her as always.

So I would blame the patriarchal mindset of the family which made the foundation of the family rot that it would have broken even with a slight push. The affair exposition was just the straw that broke the donkey's back.

If not the affair, it would have been either Paritosh's elopement and joining the Dave's, or Pakhi falling in bad company and suffering a bad incident, or just Anupamaa collapsing under the mental abuse pressure, awfully enough not to survive it.

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

Leela is definitely the main reason Vanraj and to some extent Dolly have patriarchal notions, the fact being that she thinks only a slap suffices the years for which Vanraj has cheated Anupamaa (note that she still doesn't think his emotional abuse to her is wrong).

Not completely but to some extent I will blame it on the fact that Anupamaa woke up a bit too late. The movie Thappad denoted a similar scenario where Amrita realizes that all she has been assuming to be okay was actually unjust when she was slapped.

But if Vanraj had never cheated, he would still have been and husband but Anupamaa would have let him run over her as always.

So I would blame the patriarchal mindset of the family which made the foundation of the family rot that it would have broken even with a slight push. The affair exposition was just the straw that broke the donkey's back.

If not the affair, it would have been either Paritosh's elopement and joining the Dave's, or Pakhi falling in bad company and suffering a bad incident, or just Anupamaa collapsing under the mental abuse pressure, awfully enough not to survive it.

Baa 👎🏼

With the intention of dominating the house, baa did not let Vanraj heartily connect with his wife. Always Always kept looking for Anupama's mistakes.

The respect which Anupama always deserves, she never got.

Baa - the mahaanta ki murat, who never took a stand for emotional abuse in her house but is always consistent with her accussatory pravachans from that swing 🙊

It is only baa who broke family

1 instead of scolding vanraj when vanraj direspect anupama baa add fuel to fire

2 supporting illogical demand of vanraj

3 too much partiality by baa , favouring vanraj and blind prem for her son and ignoring his big mistake encourage vanraj wrong behavior

4 never scold pakhi and toshu not to talk rudely to anupama but instead encourage it and herself taunt anupama

There is no try from baa side that parivaar mein pyaar rahe but instead hamesha jhagde ko bhadava diya

Choti choti baat pe pe baa ne jhagda kiya jaise kinjal ne maid rakhi poori din ke liye

Jise parivaar nahin todna hota hai woh choti choti baat pe jhagda nahin karte, taane nahin sunate baat baat pe balki adjust karne ki shaanti banaye rakhne ki poori koshish karte hain

But baa ne baat, baat pe jhagda kiya choti choti baat pe taunt, kabhi shaanti nahin rehne di

Aur baa ko to yeh bhi pasand nahin ki kinjal aur anupama aapas mein pyaar se rehti hai hamesha yahi chahta ki dono ke beech jhagda ho jaayega

So baa is fully responble for family disruption

While Bapu Ji dotes on and stands by Anupama, for Ba, her son is her pride. So what he committed adultery? he had apologized, had stayed away from the family which should have been enough for Anupama to forgive her son and bring him back to Sah Niwas with all the pomp and fanfare...

Leela is the dominant one in the conjugal relationship between herself and Bapuji. While Bapuji has never shown chauvinistic or patriarchal mindset, Ba shows them in plenty.

I feel her pride stems from the prevalent value system of taking pride in having a son. Typical "mhara raja beta" symptom that even the modern, educated women suffer from. There are women who see no fault in their good-for-nothing wanton sons, here we are talking about lakhon mein kamane wala, ba ki aankon ka tara, ba ka raja beta Vanraj. Ba had always taunted Anupama for not being upto Vanraj's standards, has rejoiced at and even encouraged the prolonged mental abuse inflicted upon her.

I don't know how Leela's mother-in-law treated her. But Leela also seems to suffer from another typical value system where saas is saas.

While Ba's value system seem deeply entrenched, I fault Bapuji equally for letting her behaviour continue unchecked and uninterrupted for so long. I don't mean to say Bapuji needed to be violent or abusive but he should have been assertive enough to keep Ba in check. Had Bapuji done so, Vanraj perhaps will have realized his mother's plight and not subject Anupama to all those abuse and insults.

Leela (and Vanraj shouldn't escape the blame either... he has seen some of the world since he works and goes out... so he isn't clueless like Baa at times)

Leela needs a big wake up call with her constant one track mind about all it being Anupamaa fault cos she didn't take Vanraj back etc...

And if Anupamaa doesn't want history repeating again... with Kinjal then Baa needs to be taken down some levels cos the constant backing down is where Baa thinks she can say anything and get away with it.

Another one of patriarchal strictures on women - A woman breaks or makes a family is wrong. A family is made or broken by its members not the woman.

This family was broken by Vanraj - who had an EMA. Not by

Ba with her words or

by Anupama who forgot herself or

by Kavya who slept with a married man.

I also feel, the blame should go to Anupama as well as her children.

All these years Anupama let Vanraj and Ba run over her self-respect repeatedly. If she had shown even a fraction of courage she is showing now or been half as vocal, things would have been different.

I blame her children too, especially Paritosh for the current state of their home. He had always supported his father despite knowing about all his misdemeanors and misdeeds. But vicariously, I again put the blame on the elders of Shah household. In his growing up years, he has seen his grandmother badmouth and ridicule his mother and his father suppress and oppress her. This has shaped his personality and conditioned him to be immune to his mother's tears and heart-breaks but put his father on the pedestal, despite everything. Same for Pakhi. She has been conditioned to be Papa's Princess, a spoilt brat, more than her mother's daughter.

Samar is an exception but exception proves the rule.

Moreover, I find the silence of elderly male members of Shah family quite deafening.