Sai and Virat: The first step to 'belonging' - Page 2

Beautiful write up by you, Janki! 👏👏

SORRY WRONG THREAD.

Originally posted by: I-Am-SherLOCKED

As always, amazing post! So thought-provoking.

I just made a post along similar lines about why Sai is so territorial. And I 100% agree with you. She already feels a bit of a sense of belonging with Virat because Aaba was her everything and when you lose everything, you hold on to the first thing you find and that is Virat. Sai and Aaba's word revolved around each other but that's not the case with Virat. He has half a dozen circus ringmasters he is very fond of. As you said, Sai will not fully be vulnerable in front of him because the thought that Pakhi will also linger between them will be a scary one. Virat will replace Aaba for Sai but Virat never lost anyone to begin with to replace them with Sai and this sense of not being wanted will hold her back for sure.

Sharon! First 🤗❤️

Now coming to blue: Do we have to "lose" someone to feel the need for belonging, to begin with? Humans need different kinds of love. Virat has the love of the family - a big fat, chakram one at that. But let's face the fact - he is the cynosure of their eyes (the baggage of expectations is part of the package). The fact that he could stand at the doorstep with his new bride, Sai, and even after all the verbal assault from the family say : Kaku, Sai aur Usha Maushi, isi ghar me rahenge... hamare saath. Inhe main lekar aaya hun... Main Sai ko aapki aur is ghar ki bahu bana kar laya hoon.." Not even for a moment was there any doubt in his mind that he would "leave" the house with his wife if they are not accepted in nor the doubt about the "authority" he has as the Chavan khandaan ka beta to make such a decision. Whatever be their reaction, he KNEW he was going to have his way. So in that sense, he is not 'lonely' . He never was. But there is one other part of this "sense of belonging" concept that we feel only and ONLY with our partner. We all seek that belonging too as we grow and reach that point where we can say, "saari khudaayi ek taraf, aur 'ye' ek taraf" It is to this 'ye' that we want to belong.

In Sai's case, she has lost everything so Virat is the only one in all ways for her only "sense of belonging". But for Virat, there is hidden loneliness that we haven't yet seen, except for the brief moment where he broke down during the Samrat wedding-Haldi episodes and a dialogue to the effect, "Chali gayi wo..." meant for PP when he had decided that he would not stand up for it.

So, it is not that his heart will not seek that sense of belonging. It is right now clouded with the "vaada", which is almost making an exit now since there has been no flashback for a sufficient amount of time 😆 Once the fog clears, he will feel that tug with Sai (we have already seen the pics and he did say, "Apne kamre me chalo" 😳)

Janki,

This is such a great post and such a in-depth analysis of these two characters we love. I had set aside my lunch time to read it (ahaaha, completely gone beyond that now) and even though I don't have much to add to your beautiful capture, some thoughts below

Aww thats so sweet of you! Sorry to eat into your lunch 😛

If I squint, maybe the title is actually about finding that anchor or sense of belonging for each of the three leads in the series.

Yes, you are right. Sense of belonging is necessary for all three characters. But I am yet to feel so fervently for PP to think about her misplaced sense of belonging right now 😆

Coming to Sai, she's really gone through so much, flung from one extreme situation to other, having to fear for her life, loss etc. without being given the time to digest and come to terms with what's transpired. She still wakes up each day, with yet an ordeal to deal with and fight the intense dislike her new family has for her. That fortress she's built is a sum total of her experiences.

She absolutely wears her emotions on her sleeve when around Virat but his outburst and long list of other vaadas, she's soon going to rack up those bricks and force him out as well.

It's not easy going about like that. In fact, I really hope that their 'zaroori baat' conversation addresses this at least to an extent. I think it will. And hopefully, she will find comfort in knowing that she is not alone. Subconsciously, she does know but it's going to be a LONG time before she allows herself to acknowledge it aloud.

Virat, I think we both discussed this on one of your other threads as well. He's also gone through quite a bit of trauma and this sequence of events has manifested in the words that his normal calm demeanour wouldn't allow to seep through. I also think that the Chavan nivas, toxic as it is doesn't allow for any vulnerability to be displayed and is thought of a character flaw than strength. I'm sure Bhavani and her stooges would have frowned at any signs of something that would make a "man" seem vulnerable, and Ninad for all his chat about my son is my friend or whatever perpetuates the fallacy of this model.

The more he opens up to Sai and exposes his vulnerabilities to her...the stronger the connection they'll forge and the easier it will be to dismantle her walls. He has his work cut out for him, but i hope they'll use the opportunity to have lots of heart to hearts and be ghum in each other!.

Agree totally and you've said it just right! The pressure of being this "man" that everyone around wants him to be. That is why I also said in my other post about how Sai is actually the only one who is going to be around him in that space, which he also has not opened up to anyone. The space where there is room for being real and not being judged (nok jhonk set aside). He is going to discover a lot about himself when he begins to dismantle her walls. ☺️ i hope they work on this instead of just the monotonous fight and make-up sequences from the other version.

As always, such an amazing post it is!👏

Well, I want to say a lot, but due to time constraints, I'm restricting myself for everything else except one- showing vulnerability to your partner!

I'm the only one unmarried in my friends circle. All of them have issues with their partners and they share it with me. What I see is, with the fear of losing the other one, they tend to cover up their anger, dissatisfaction etc in front of them. But in that case, are you even letting the other person know your feelings? Will u ever get to know about each other completely, if you just try to put up an image in front of them?

There you said it! That is exactly the point. 🤗That is what we do unless we reach that point in our relationships where we can say a lot of rubbish and get away with it. To me, the entire rant that Virat had right from "tum sunna chahti ho ki main pehle se tumhe chahta tha" to the "yahi tumhari jagah hai" was entirely THIS - a rant with no meaning. That is why, I personally, did not take him that seriously. Yes, it was hurtful but that is exactly what happens in real fights. We say a lot of things that we do not mean, just because we are so enraged with that one person that we want to hurt them somehow. We are subconsciously regretting even as we speak and of course even more later... there were moments when he was just watching her during the rant for her reaction as well.

That's where we see a major difference between Sai and Pakhi. With Sai, Virat is himself. With Pakhi, it's like he's tied up. Bottled up by vaada, guilt and whatever it is! But with Sai, he is himself. I really wanted him to discuss it first with her but hey, will the bestie give them a chance to even argue, let alone talk? I'm glad that he got angry because he should let it out. Otherwise, all the small and unnecessary points can become so huge during one argument they have and that makes things worse. So I guess, the sooner the better. These kind of arguments makes way for a lot of discussions, which are very much needed for a healthy relationship.

Bestie is not the one he can have such a rant with. Remember, she's going to walk out of the house, pushing the blame on Sai, when the reality is that she's doing it because he's asked her to go to her room. Bruised egos don't help in vulnerability. It is when we keep egos aside and fight that we are allowing vulnerability to strengthen our relationship.

Also, I do belive that you get angry at people whom u love. But that doesn't mean that one can do anything in anger. It means that u don't need to hold back your feelings, as there is someone, always by your side, to guide you, to correct you when you are wrong while the wole world is judging u. That's what Sai will become for Virat. But what about for Sai? With all the words he used (in just 2 days), will he ever be able to break the wall that she has constructed around herself?

It is going to be an uphill climb for him. But I also feel that Sai was hurt, yes, but even in that moment she understood what happened. PP may have asked her for inciting virat, "Tumhe abhi bhi nahi samajh me aaya ki virat kitni badi museebat me hai?" But the fact is that the ONLY sane person in that room was Sai. She understood immediately and she also knew the solution. Which is why instead of wasting her energy on "Why did he say this to me?", she channelled her energy on "What should I do to solve this?" She has also let it pass in her mind, but on the exterior, because of the walls she has, she will not let him know so soon that she is going to let his outburst pass.

I know I have deviated from the topic but your post made me express my thoughts here. Thank you for such an amazing post! It's so needed to understand the depth of the characters!

You added the noor to my thoughts 🤗

To sum up, I always believe that if a couple has had no fights, then I pity them. Coz they don't even know each other. According to me, arguments, fights, being vulnerable, getting mad at each other etc are so important for a healthy relationship!

I'm already missing my future partner, no idea where he is🤣

🤣Jahan bhi hoga, is baat se anjaan hoga ki koi Kohinoor uska bhi intezaar kar raha hai, haye!

Edited to add: Ofcourse she will find a sense of belonging. With Aswini around and Virat slowly falling for her, I can't wait to see how he breaks those walls that she has built around herself!

Originally posted by: -Emmery-

So beautifully written. I hope she doesn’t forgive Virat easily. He was the only one she could be herself with etc and he so easily said I can’t keep this promise I think... you’re not gonna stay at the house for long etc. I’m so mad. I hope when he asks for forgiveness etc she says “what for? I did my job and saved you like you’ve saved me countless of times. We don’t owe each other anything. After I complete my education I’ll be gone so it’s better to keep a distance between ourselves”

Anger makes fools out of the best people. And I have a feeling that Sai, subconsciously, knows that he was just angry. Yes, the "Deal" is on the top of her mind. She will give him an earful and not let him get away so easily but I do not think she's seeing him in bad light. Her thoughts about him during the DIG conversation is a clear indication that she understands even his outburst but yes, it is not warranted and he better make up for it in the best way.

Originally posted by: sammy17

Unfortunately it seems very very soon that virat is gonna be mad again at sai just because of what she said to pakhi in the precap about pakhi not thinking about her husband and instead eyeing up someone else's husband, because as some members have said that in the original, pakhi makes a massive fuss out of sai saying this to her and leaves home and sai is blasted by everyone and forced to bring pakhi back home 🤢 God this pakhi gets away with disgustingly barging into a married couples bedroom and private conversations whenever she wants and nobody is allowed to say anything to her yet sai has to apologise for saying the truth.

I am not sure what the Hindi version will show it as because they are making subtle changes in terms of the characterisations. But I don't think its as much of blaming Sai than wanting her to be tactful.

Amazing post👏 loved it❤️