NEW DRABBLE : THE SOULFUL TRUST (Rudhita) - Page 3

Originally posted by: Alexia_Wilson

I just realized now that you wrote it as Drabble but its always of 100 words lady!

Coming to my point of but...

A story should be fast paced with the right amount of details

I felt your story got too detailed which felt unnecessary

Second the adjectives were too much Shaheen. I understand to give the notions about a character or scene you need adjectives but there is never too much of a good thing

Like I could see an adjective in each sentence

And if you are habitual to using adjectives so much then there is a way to do it

And sometimes an adjective is hard to comprehend at first go so giving out so many just breaks the flow of reading.

So that was a huge turn off

Try playing with words. Don't use much complex ones. It takes away the feel of a soryo

Play with simple words to create magic

Don't be offended it's just my opinion

Why would I get offended in fact I am obliged to get this from you... Thanks a lot once again..!!

Originally posted by: Home786

Got it boss. Thank you so much for this.. I always encourage critics for improvement and this will definitely make me improve as a good writer in future.. Thanks yaar Alexia for correcting me each and every time... Lots of love for this❤️🤗.

Why would I get offended in fact I am obliged to get this from you... Thanks a lot once again..!!

I am not any good writer though so not a critic

But as a reader I am able to understand where I am turned off

Anytime for you Shaheen

Originally posted by: Alexia_Wilson

I am not any good writer though so not a critic

But as a reader I am able to understand where I am turned off

Anytime for you Shaheen

Storywise did I satisfied you???

Originally posted by: Home786

Tum aaj unresd kardo hum kal pakka kar denge. 🤣

Unresd😳

Originally posted by: Prit_007

Thank you so much behen for this 🤗❤️

This is truly a bliss to read in this time. How I wish if Anirudh could do this but he didn't 😭

It gave me so much sukoon 😳

And no need to thanks ham hamesa piche pade rahenge tere to write more 😆

Show mein toh Anirudh ko kya se kya bana diya hai re...😲

Haan time mila toh zarur likhungi.. Aur mein bhi tumhare peeche padi rahungi for vms on old songs.

This is brilliant shaheen👍🏼

Love your writing❤️

How I wish the ki episode me bhi aise scenes dikhate cvs😳 do write more shaheen🤗

ohhooo ye end toh tumne BB makers ke tarah kiyaaa🤣🤣....I was like abhi andhi kutaegii!!!!

Firstly,sorry for commenting late😆.Btw loved how you showed Ani being angry still cared for her and fought for her. And meri patni from him is🤪....

Loved it Shaheen❤️

Shaheen🤗❤️😙

Love you too much dear.....this drabble made my day..... 😳...I'm so touched you write this on prit and my insistence. ....I'm happy that you write this finally after some time in this forum...and you know what you created it so beautifully🤗❤️

Your vocabulary and screenplay is so so beautiful dear

I loved how you used rishta tera mera as bgm too❤️

Having finished reading this I'm so heartbroken realising some true emotions that we missed in the actual scene in the show🥺💔:

A concerned as well as strong elder sister who has guys to speak up for her sister💔

A supportive friend who could have helped ani in catching briju and a caring brother in law who could have wished for Bon's well being .....both these in saurabh💔

Pati babu who could have been worried for bon for her injuries at first place above interrogating her ignoring his anger💔

Pati babu who fumed in anger on hearing allegations against his wife💔

Damn 🥺

But, here the wolf ran off with lioness only to fall prey for Lion's wrathful vengeance.omg.... what a line yaar

Brijwasi is unknown of the perspicacity of little divinity Bondita...even ani is unaware of this yaar

"Chalo Bondita, sambhal ke tum aage aage chalo aur mein tumhare peeche peeche chalunga. Agar zara bhi pareshani ho toh mujhe batana ah Bondita",i badly want this in the show....can we rewrite the episode😭?

How I wish your ani was present in the original episode too...😭💔

Curious to know how bon came to know of her pati didi being busy didi😉

Shaheen I love how you used simile here

Ani as lion

Bonditha as lioness

Briju as the wolf

Ani ready of his scavenging 👏👏👏

In love with your vocabulory so much dear🤗❤️

So sad we missed such a dignified way of ani to handle this issue🥺

Thank you so much for this drabble dear.

Write more often now. ...I'm always eaget to read your creations

Shaheen 🤗

You penned it just the way we wanted to be shown in show

It's just amazing ❤️

Why did you ended it on cliffhanger? 😭 say that you going to continue ⭐️

If yes, then update it soon 😆

This beautiful piece of writing is like "Thandak to the kalijas" of ours The 2nd best part was you gave the good for nothing couple a task to do and they did it 😃 the best part was obviously our RudhIta ❤️ You have merged Ani's concern and his disappointment really well like he was hurt about Bon not trusting him enough but his concern overpowered that 👏 Overall superb 👍🏼