my story YOU DONT SEE ME

You don't see me

I'm looking at you. Is that you? Are my thoughts and desires directed only to you? That worries me. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and think I haven't seen you. I'm looking at you ... Again that feeling that I was wrong somewhere. We've been together for so long, and yet I have this feeling that I'm missing something. I love you, I know that, and I feel that's not it. My confusion is growing as the days, months, years go by. Did I feel like I could love someone else? That. And that feeling of emptiness, when I sit next to you and when I watch you play with our son ... A thousand questions, and no answers.

How much do the two of us know? Do I know you, you as my love, as someone I met a long time ago and who is still there. They say that a man can hide his right from another person for 35 days, and the two of us have been together for ten years. And yet somehow I feel like it’s not my life.

This morning I woke up next to you and thought: you, me and our son, who snuck between us and who is everything in the world to you and me. I look at you, and it's like you're a stranger. What's happening to me? My son, who can get everything when he looks at me with those green eyes, and the feeling of emptiness never passes.

I have to do something. I have to see you to see myself. And I have to accept this reality. I live someone else's life. I'm not me. I miss myself. That is the essence. I don't see myself. When I'm me, I'll probably think of you too.

When you proposed to me, it was strange to you that I fell silent, that I did not answer immediately. Now I know the reason. I was afraid I would lose myself and it happened.

I have lost the part of myself that I miss. The most beautiful part. The one I admired and the one you admired. A little wild, but full of faith in something better and more beautiful. I loved walking barefoot on the hot asphalt while the summer rains were falling. To sing with the company in the wee hours in front of the building, to play between two fires. I watch our son grow. He walks with us, rides a bicycle with us, he doesn't have the real one, our childhood. I was free, like a bird, and now ... Our son is not free. I keep him in a cage. It's my fault, I don't want to worry. And my freedom is now somewhere far away from me. I watch our son with trepidation, so that he doesn't get hit, so that he doesn't get hurt, and I think that's the reason why I lost myself. I don't let him be free. And that's why I lost myself somewhere, and you too. We dedicated ourselves to our career, home and child, and we lost ourselves. I would like us to meet and not spend the rest of our lives looking for ourselves.

I'm looking at you. You wake up slowly and I see you, and you don't see me. You see what I'm projecting, but I'm not there.

Please, let's try to see each other. Although I love you more than anything in the world I am lost and I need you to see me.😉

my story, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE THIS STORY.

intriguing one...😳

start, was amazing..👍🏼

continue soon😃

thanks for the support, I have more stories but this one is special to me. I hope to have the opportunity to tell you more such beautiful stories.

Originally posted by: zajedno

my story, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE THIS STORY.

Beautiful emotion play, Sarah! Very well written. Quite intriguing. And yet, connects with you because it doesn't stay just your story, it starts feeling like my story when my children were kids. You have depicted the women's dilemma extremely well.

Seen you on IF after very long, Sarah. How have you been? Are you and your kith and kin okay after Covid19.

Do you remember our old story? Those beautiful days when we connected almost daily? I miss those IPK3 days. Stay well, Girl and do keep writing.

IPK3 Untold Saga Trials of Fire 72 episodes to watch further.

thank you. praise and criticism mean a lot to me. this story was published in a magazine and was a great success. and I agree with you, every woman can be found in this story without even being aware of it. i wrote this on the bus when i was going on some business trip. it was enough for me to listen to the stories of old and young people around me and then the topic of writing just opened up to me. and, by the way I have a lot of stories and now I am thinking of publishing one novel and I just need to find a sponsor.

I read this too. sorry sometimes I don't have time to comment because I'm always in a hurry. I like the way you write and the way you describe things in a simple way.