Chapter 9
(Evening @ COSMOS)
The day had been eventful, and despite how much Jo tried to keep her mind calm, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jalal..The way he confessed, that she is the one he had always been in love with..Jo sighed with a nervous flutter in her heart, “Is he crazy?? Going about confessing such things..in front of other people..The man never gives a single thought about the repercussions that may follow..God knows what that scary woman would do now..Has he got no fear??..what does he want to listen from me? what I’m gonna tell him, when I’m myself trying to recall things out?? And above all, the bid is tomorrow..I’ve to keep myself sane, as to not make a single mistake, that could cost the company..”
The clock struck 8:30 pm, and Jo received a knock at the door, it was Jalal..
Jalal: Are you done for the day??
Jo (stammered): Ah..I don’t think dinner tonight is a good idea..We’ve got our bid tomorrow..Lets do it some other time..Hmm?
Jalal (rolled his eyes): can you be any less predictable??I knew you would make excuses..So instead, I ordered the food here only..You better come to my office in ten minutes..In the meanwhile I’ll set the table up for dinner..
Jo pouted disappointed, and Jalal scrunched his brows in a commanding gaze, “TEN MINUTES, not a second more, OKAY??”
Jo timidly nodded in a “Yes”, and Jalal left, striding the stairs back to his office..There were no excuses to be made, so Jo sighed, mustered up the courage and left her office to goto Jalal’s..She knocked at the door, and Jalal’s voice resounded..”I’m here, at the back…” She headed towards the voice, and pushed open the door that led to the living area of Jalal’s office..From across the window, she gave him a closer look..He was still setting up the table under the open sky, at the terrace outside..He had removed his jacket and necktie..But was still in the same office attire..The sleeves of the white linen he wore, were rolled up..The collar of the shirt was loose open..and the hair still damp..In the dim light reflecting out of his living room, underneath the breezy sky, he looked so boyish that Jo couldn’t avert her gaze from him..Jalal looked at Jo, and seeing her staring at him, looked at himself, “Ahh! Everything okay??”
Jo (flustered at having being caught staring): Ahh yeah! You …Ahh…look so fresh..
Jalal (chuckled): Yeah, I washed up..Do you wanna wash up too..
Jo, taken aback, nervously nodded in a strong “NO”..Jalal laughed again, “I meant if you wanna wash up YOUR HANDS, go ahead and use the restroom”..Jo gave an embarrassed expression and moved towards the washroom..The moment she opened the door, an overwhelming masculine aroma of the recent shower hit her nostrils..Jo patted her heart, “God! Why am I behaving as a teen?? N what’s with this racing heart? Even the scent of him is making me tremble”..Jo washed her hands, splashed her face with water for so many times, as to cool the heat of her cheek down, that all the mild make up that hardly ever graced her face, came running off..Patting her face dry, she took deep breaths to calm herself down, though the attempts were pretty much in vain..
She came out, and Jalal was still at the terrace..The table had been set up, and while awaiting her, he was watching the distant sky, with a glass of wine in his hands..Sensing movements, he turned around to find Jo, sliding the door to enter the terrace..She had taken the scarf around her neck off,and even in the simplest attire of a pleated cotton shirt and the knee length skirt, jalal could swear off that he had never seen a more beautiful sight ever..The washed off make up left her face completely bare to unconcealed expressions, the nervousness and vulnerability were so evident that Jalal couldn’t stop his smile..He gave a quick glance from her face to feet, but stopped at her feet..
Jalal: You’re barefoot..
Jo looked at her feet, “Oh! I took them off, and forgot to…”
Jalal (interrupted): Its okay..Wear my comfies..
And before Jo could resist, Jalal brought a pair of comfies from his room, and placed it in front of Jo, gesturing her to slip them in..Jo nodded and slipped her feet in..
He then, pulled the chair for Jo to sit in..and once she sat..he moved right across her to take his seat..
Jalal looked at Jo..she was deliberately trying to avoid jalal’s line of sight..Sensing her tense state, Jalal asked, “Would you like some wine..it might help you relax”..
Jo (defensive): I don’t drink..
Jalal (chuckled): So, Ms. Shekhawat, you don’t drive, you don’t drink, and the way you’re trembling, seems it is the first time you’re out on an actual date with a man, in like what, a decade?? God! Have you really not changed at all Jo??
Jo (looking offended): You wish!! That sounded so delusional of you..
Jalal smiled, “I don’t think so”..(whispering) “Lets eat for now,,And as far that racing heart of yours is concerned, I’ve got the rest of the whole night to calm it down..Just so you know, its nothing that I haven’t done before”..Jo glared at jalal in a fake anger, who smilingly, gestured at the food, serving the dishes..
The dishes were all that were Jo’s favourite..The typical mix of Indian and Italian cuisines..Jo looked at jalal, who was busy serving the dishes on Jo’s plate, as if he so well knew, what and how much,, Jo liked or needed..”How could he still remember what I like and what not…Even if I didn’t change, How come he has remained clung to my likes and dislikes, for all these years??” The two ate silently for long, stealing glances at each other without uttering a single syllable..With the dinner being finally over, Jalal opened up the box of desert, and slided it before Jo, “help yourself..I’m not sure if you’ll leave even a spoonful of this, for me” ..
Jo looked at the desert, it was her ultimate, only and all time favourite..She looked back at Jalal..
Jalal: You still like it the same..dont you?? Your guilty pleasure, “The forbidden fruit”…
Jo tried hard not to well up and pushed the chair to stand up..The sudden surge of emotions overwhelmed her heart, and breathless she pleaded..”Stop it please…Why would you keep remembering every small thing about me, for all this time?? I left you heartbroken, for so long, and came back unannounced..Anyone can tell that was so selfish of me…How on Earth can you be like this??How can you still be like this Jalal??Why wouldn’t you ask, why I left someone like you, who has nothing but sheer love for me, even to this date?? ”
Jalal tried to reach for Jo, reassuringly, “What does it matter?..Would it bring back the time, we lost?..And above all, if I say I love you, then shouldn’t I believe that you might have had your reasons?..What’s the point of “a love” that is based on explanations?…Shouldn’t a love be “the most unconditional thing” in this world?? And I thank God, that you went selfish and came back to see me..I wish you had gotten selfish sooner..I was angry Jo, I had been angry for so long…but that doesn’t make sense anymore..You’re here..with me..And I don’t want to waste even a single second of our lives together, anymore”..
Jo’s heart wrenched in pain, “Would he believe, if she told him that she has no recollection of their time together..How would he feel, if she told him that she has forgotten all what Jalal is still holding onto.. That she had no rememberance of what he was to her? That she came here to figure that out..But she still hasn’t come to know the entire truth…Above all, that there is something so very wrong with her, medically.. Since she has no idea what future might have in store for her, how can she give him a promise of a love forever??..And even if Jalal doesn’t want to know, it is her obligation to find the truth for the pain she has brought him..How else on Earth her moral conscience would find peace..How else on Earth would she be able to bring herself to be with Jalal, unless she gets rid of the guilt”..
Jo didn’t reply and stayed silent..There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she couldn’t..Jalal was still sitting on his chair, while jo was standing, turning her back to him, staring into the darkness of night..The dark clouds had hid all the twinkling stars..and as if the gloom begin to spread, she felt the mild ache of helplessness..
She had to leave..
But before Jo could move, a touch of cool fingers at the nape of her neck made Jo freeze at her spot.. The sensation spread and as if electrified, she felt the goosebumps and every single fibre of her body stood erect. Jalal was right behind her, while she still had her back afront him.. He moved her tresses from back to right side of her front, sneaked his arm, underneath hers,locking them around her waist at front. He leaned in towards her left ear..and spoke in the gentlest of ways one could, “What is bothering you Jo??Just open up, and leave the rest to me”…Jo still stayed silent, and Jalal whispered again, “Tell me how you feel, because I’ve been dying to listen it”..
The sudden intimate contact, stopped Jo’s breath, her pulse quickened,and breathless she stammered again, “I..I don’t really know, how I feel”..She fidgeted to break open Jalal’s embrace, and Jalal stepped back releasing her..Freed, Jo turned to look at jalal who was still staring at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze..A bead of sweat broke on her forehead, and she whispered again while keeping her eyes downcast, “I should go”..
She brushed past Jalal towards the terrace’s exit with an intent to leave..But before she could, jalal held Jo’s wrist, and spoke calmly again “I’m afraid, I don’t think I can let you go”..
Jo looked at Jalal wide eyed, and he spoke again, “If you don’t know, how you feel, let us figure this out together”..The moment Jalal said those words, they echoed again in Jo’s mind..It was not the first time she had heard that sentence. Jalal had said the same thing long back..
Jalal spoke again, “Its not like you haven’t been in this dilemma before, or I haven’t resolved it earlier”…
The memories from ten years back, errupted again in Jo’s mind, and the flashes of her teen self, standing in front of a young jalal became clear.. She was dressed in her teen dress, attending some family function, while Jalal was in his school-blazer, who had sneaked into the party and had pulled Jo out in the garden..It was then, when he had said the same words, “If you don’t know, how you feel, let us figure this out together..”
The reverie broke, when Jalal gently pulled her towards him..And Jo lost in his sincere touch simply gave in to his directions..He sneaked an arm around her waist, while still holding her wrist from the other..and closed the distance between them..And Jo neither could resist nor could avert her gaze from Jalal’s face, even for once..
Jalal mildly spoke again, holding Jo tight against him, “I know that look in your eyes Jo..The longing that your heart feels, and when that yearning gets reflected in your gaze, every single time you see or even think about the one you love..I know it, because I’ve seen it in mine, for all these past years, everytime I’ve looked at myself in a mirror, thinking about you..I can read your erratic pulse on the tip of my fingers at your wrist, can literally feel your heart thumping against my chest..And here you are standing in my embrace, breathless, yet not willing to let go of my grip”..Jalal released Jo’s wrist, placing them on his chest and moved his hand, slipping his fingers underneath Jo’s ears, while stroking her cheeks with the thumb..”So its okay Jo, even if you cant knit your feelings in words, I knew it ten years back, and I know it even now how much you feel for me, and what hell of an effort it takes to stop yourself from admitting the same..Who else would know your heart better, if not me..”
Jo wished she could stop herself, but the tears refused to obey her,and came out flooding the perimeters of her lashes..She wished she could say something, but erratic hiccups were all that came out her throat..Jalal made a vain attempt to wipe them off, and pressed his lips around her forehead,hugging her tight..And Jo hid her face in his chest, hugging him back fervently..The exact same memory from ten years back was now crystal clear in front of her eyes..
She could see, the young jalal embracing her teen self, in that garden..The only difference was that the two looked extremely happy..Perhaps the happiest Jo had ever seen herself in her memory..Jo could recall clearly, the young Jalal confessing, “I love you and I would always love you..No matter what may come”… A promise that young lad kept, indeed no matter what..
But then suddenly, Jo could recall someone else’s presence in the garden..Someone’s gaze at the two of them, it was Shibani..Jo could see her nervous teen self breaking the embrace at Shibani’s sight..Afraid, she stepped aside when young Jalal tried to reach her.."I have to go..Please don’t follow me now..Just Go! I’ll call you..just wait for me”..And telling that Jo had left him alone, trying to find Shibani..
Pulled back in the present, Jo’s head was hammered again with a throbbing ache..Her body shivered. That was perhaps the last time, she had met Jalal..It probably was then, when she had asked him to not follow her, wait for her, for her call..a call that she never made, but why?? Shibani had seen her with jalal, why didn’t she ever tell her that the two loved each other??Why did she keep her in dark, about her forgotten feelings for Jalal..?? Jo tightened the embrace, and Jalal could feel the change in her demeanor..She had gotten cold..Anxious, jalal broke the embrace and held up her chin, “You okay?? What’swrong?? Why have you gotten cold?? "
Jo looked back at Jalal, as if she was looking him in his true self, for the first time..Gulping the air to be able to speak, she spoke, trying to overcome her hiccups, “You said you loved me, and that you would always love me..That night was the last time I saw you ten years back..Wasn’t it?? Jalal not being able to figure out what Jo was trying to imply, stayed silent..
Jo (stammered again): I..I told you that I would call you, and that you should leave and not follow me..I asked you to wait for me..
Jalal: Calm down Jo..
Jo (shaking her head hard in an ardent NO, errupting in another bout of tears): I didn’t even answer you.. and yet you kept your word…that teen lad stayed true to his confession..and you’ve been waiting that damned answer from me, since then??
Jalal (shook Jo): I said calm down..I would have waited for an eternity, if I had to..Its Okay..
Jo (trying to wipe her tears and overcome her hiccups): You moron, in what world such a painful experience is okay??
Jalal lifted Jo’s chin again, wiped her cheeks and gave a polite smile, “You can answer me now, if thats what you are worried about”..
Jo looked back at Jalal with a persuasion like never before..She sneaked her arm around his neck and pulled him in a soft kiss that resonated with a longing of years, an unquenchable desire and promise of forever..
Jalal couldn’t even respond..His limbs refused to move, and his heart hammered against his ribcage so hard, as if it would explode..The overwhelming sensation left him dizzy.... As if the burden that weighed on his heart for ten long years had lifted..As if he could actually breathe in real now..As if the wound of separation that never went dry was magically healed..And finally his broken soul met the missing part where Jo’s lips touched his…
He found sanity returning, only after Jo parted her lips from his and rubbed his cheeks with her thumb, Unable to react, he looked back at Jo, still breathless..
Jo: If there would ever be anyone in this heart of mine, it would always be you..It has to be “ONLY YOU”..If this is love, then yeah..I did, I do and I would always be in love with you..Promise me you’ll remember this always..even if I couldn’t…
Jalal simply nodded, because words refused to make any coherent sentence in his mind..He pulled Jo back in an eager hard kiss..The intensity weakened Jo’s legs, the nerve wrecking sensation and shortness of breath made her gasp, and Jalal couldn’t stop himself from deepening the kiss.. she clutched his shoulders to avoid losing the balance, and Jalal lifted her up, moving back towards the dining chair to get himself seated, without parting off from Jo..As if the time stopped..neither of the two could gather strength to let go of the other..
Suddenly Jo’s cell rang..
Jo tried, half heartedly to break their kiss, but Jalal refused to let go..Giving in to the urge, she let the cell ring and ring…On the third ring, Jalal pulled off reluctantly..He looked back at Jo, who looked completely dazed..Her lips had swollen, and the pores on her lower lip looked blood red..Jalal tried to calm himself down, but Jo couldn’t even do that..
Jalal (breathless): You better answer that damn call..or I might not stop all night..
Flustered Jo, looked back at Jalal..She was still clutching his shirt, not letting him move back..Realization dawned leaving Jo embarrassed..She nervously looked around taking in the reality of their position, while still sitting on his lap, trying to figure out where that cell was ringing..when Jalal, lifted her, placing her back on the chair..He kneeled to pick her bag up, and looked at the caller, it was Adi..
Jalal cursed, “Aaahhhhh! I’m gonna kill him”…
Jo smiled back at Jalal’s scoff, and picked the call…But before, she could say a word, another person on the call, made a gleeful sound, “Surprise! !!!Oh my darling darling silly, get back home as early as you can..I’m dying to see you sugar..See you at home”…And the call disconnected..It was Shibani, on Adi’s phone..
The color drained off Jo’s face, at the recently recalled memory and Jalal didn’t take a second to give a concerned questioning gaze..
Jo: I’ve to tell you something..a thing or two from the past…and a few from my present…but I need to get sure, myself… and for that I’ve to talk to someone..So, lets talk tomorrow after the bid..Hmm??
Jalal nodded in a Yes, and gently pulled Jo back in a hug..giving a peck at her forehead.."But promise me, you wont stress yourself out..I dont wanna hear anything that would make your heart ache"...Jo smiled and while resting her face in the crook of his neck spoke again, “Hmm! agreed...Now, I should head home”..
Jalal (making a disappointed sound): I shouldn’t have asked you to take that call..
Jo (smiled, rising on her heels to give a small peck to him): Yeah! You shouldn’t have..Now drop me home..
Jalal lifted her chin up again, “Do you really really need to go??”..Jo scrunched her eyebrows and nodded in a yeah..Pulling Jalal to get moving, she picked up her bag, and the two exited the terrace..with the most elated and carefree hearts, and the most smitten and loves-struck expressions on their faces..
Edited by sm1308 - 3 years ago
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