Indian Culture

GOANS

One Goan is Remo Fernandes.

Two Goans is a Feni distillery.

Three Goans is a football club.

Four Goans is an all-night-long beach party.

MALAYALEES

One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.

Two Malayalees is a boat race.

Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.

Four Malayalees is an oil slick.

TAMILIANS

One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.

Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.

Three Tamilians is a classical music school.

Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

ANDHRAITES

One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.

Two Andhraites is a spice shop.

Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.

Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

BENGALIS

One Bengali is a rosagulla shop.

Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.

Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.

Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

RAJASTHANIS

One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller.

Two Rajasthanis is a mason.

Three Rajasthanis is a puppet show.

Four Rajasthanis is a folk dance-drama.

MANGALOREANS

One Mangalorean is a supari seller.

Two Mangaloreans can't stand one another.

Three Mangaloreans is an Udupi restaurant.

Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

BOMBAYITES

One Bombayite is a hawker.

Two Bombayites is a film industry.

Three Bombayites is a slum.

Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.

MAHARASHTRIANS

One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor.

Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi match.

Three Maharashtrians is a Ganpati procession.

Four Maharashtrians is a Shiv Sena Shakha.

GUJARATIS

One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train.

Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train.

Three Gujaratis is a rummy game in a Mumbai train.

Four Gujaratis is a dandiya-raas session all night long.

KUTCHIES

One Kutchi is a kirana shop.

Two Kutchis is a stationery shop.

Three Kutchis is a saree shop.

Four Kutchis is the entire Bombay retail trade.

SARDARJIS

One Sardarji is a truck-driver.

Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba.

Three Sardarjis is a raagi jatha for kirtan.

Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

SINDHIS

One Sindhi is a currency racket.

Two Sindhis is a papad factory.

Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop.

Four Sindhis is big show-off parties (yeech!).

BIHARIS

One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.

Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.

Three Biharis is a caste killing.

Four Biharis is the total literate population of the state.

BHAIYYAS

One Bhaiyya( U.P. Wala) is a milkman.

Two Bhaiyyas is a chanawala (or panipuri wala).

Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad.

Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.

(And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL family).

KASHMIRIS

One Kashmiri is a boatman.

Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory.

Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency.

Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

KANNADIGAS

One Kannadiga is a coffee estate.

Two Kannadigas is a Udupi restaurant.

Three Kannadigas is a pepper powder factory.

Four Kannadigas is an anti-Cauvery squad.

PUNJABIS

One Punjabi is chhole-bathure 5 times a week.

Two Punjabis is one bottle of whisky in one night.

Three Punjabis is a public fist-fight.

Four Punjabis is 200 kg of excess weight.

PARSIS

One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BCs and MCs.

Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer.

Three Parsis is a 75-year-old man and his two unmarried sisters.

Four Parsis is half their remaining population.