Ek Duje Ke Vaaste 2|Chat Club#7 - Page 98

Originally posted by: Meena_J

lol + going to Ivy league college to be a doctor/engineer/lawyer or getting an mba is considered a good thing...there are desi ppl I know who dropped outta college and still are living happily...

LOL my cousin is applying to college soon and he won't shut up about Ivy Leagues....I sent him the article about the Ivy League scandal and said calm down kid they aren't as great as you think. Same...my parents were like beta you can do whatever you want...as long as it's in the science field 😳 but tbh I'm happy with what I'm doing right now so I don't really care....I guess I wanted to be a bollywood actress when I was a kid but that wasn't a viable career option for me 🤣

Originally posted by: alina.b

@bold this is good. This is how we all should be. I also look for people that I "click" with and give good vibes. But, if I see an Indian person, I get all awkward and become aware of the fact that we both are Indian. (I have Indian friends but we aren't close) Idk...I can't really explain why I think like this...I think my experiences shaped it. But I am changing the way I think. I also realize I am starting college again, I am going to a place where no one knows me and I can start out as a clean slate. Just be myself and don't fear being judged...if they like me then good and if they don't then whatever

Originally posted by: alina.b

LOL my cousin is applying to college soon and he won't shut up about Ivy Leagues....I sent him the article about the Ivy League scandal and said calm down kid they aren't as great as you think. Same...my parents were like beta you can do whatever you want...as long as it's in the science field 😳 but tbh I'm happy with what I'm doing right now so I don't really care....I guess I wanted to be a bollywood actress when I was a kid but that wasn't a viable career option for me 🤣

Originally posted by: Meena_J

im going to admit that even i felt slightly awkward when i started meeting other desi kids but your dad said, my parents also said the same thing as to judge em based on their actions rather than their skin...so i found them more relatable...but, tbh, whenever i travel to India, i don't relate much to my Indian cousins/families/friends who have resided in India...maybe its my mindset which they consider it as "white-washed"...i love traveling to India and I know i shouldn't be judgemental but if their actions are like that then i cant do much...sometimes, they consider my actions to be as "naive" or something but i would politely explain that I've been brought up in a different environment as compared to yours so whether they want to remain judgemental or not that's their call...i have nothing against em but idk why they tend to compare us ppl a lot...

Aww thank you Meena for sharing your experience...that makes me feel a little better. Your advice is correct..

That's another thing when I go to India, my family is originally from UP which is not a very progressive state. So, I don't really get along with some of relatives. I assumed that all Indians must think the way they do because again not much exposure thus ignorance. India is a huge place with a lot of cultures so thinking is also very diverse. When I met all our friends from India here on the forum and I realized that we are a lot more similar than I thought! ❤️ But, I love going to India...it's fun - good food, fun clothes, cool places to visit

Originally posted by: Meena_J

yeah, but i would wager the financial costs a lot + whether there is scholarship or not...they told me early on like probably when i entered high school to start focusing on extra curricular activities like cultural activities, researching at a lab at a local hospital/university, volunteering at a library/hospital, etc to see in what field do my interests lie in...i think that was actually quite helpful in determining my career goals before i figured what i wanted to actually do in my life in terms of career...like i told you about my incident with changing careers and stuff

That's really good that your parents were very supportive and guided you well. Honestly, career changes aren't the end of life like how some people make it. It's usually a good decision because your career is something you work for your whole life so you might as well do something you like.

Originally posted by: alina.b

Aww thank you Meena for sharing your experience...that makes me feel a little better. Your advice is correct..

That's another thing when I go to India, my family is originally from UP which is not a very progressive state. So, I don't really get along with some of relatives. I assumed that all Indians must think the way they do because again not much exposure thus ignorance. India is a huge place with a lot of cultures so thinking is also very diverse. When I met all our friends from India here on the forum and I realized that we are a lot more similar than I thought! ❤️ But, I love going to India...it's fun - good food, fun clothes, cool places to visit

Originally posted by: alina.b

That's really good that your parents were very supportive and guided you well. Honestly, career changes aren't the end of life like how some people make it. It's usually a good decision because your career is something you work for your whole life so you might as well do something you like.

Originally posted by: Meena_J

oh wow! My mom's family is originally from Benaras & My dad's side is originally from Jaipur before they shifted their base to Mumbai ....but even in Mumbai, there are some ppl whose thoughts arent like concurrent with today's generation..my brothers and i also don't mingle much with our cousins due to their take on NRIs...some of them even ask whether we even know how to speak "Hindi" or not ...again I don't want to blame the entire country but this is just our experience...obviously there are nice ppl who are respectful & understanding but there are some relatives who will nag us like crazy...nothing offensive but its just my experience has been 50/50...

Most of my experiences in India have been good. Maybe because I speak very fluent Hindi without any accent so people can't catch that I'm not from there. But my cousins have mentioned that my mannerisms give it away 😆 I look very uncomfortable if someone gets too close, always giving out polite smiles, constantly saying thank you/sorry/excuse me 🤣 My cousins and I get along well ❤️ they are good kids. My one relative that I mentioned is the only problematic one and sometimes some extended family members might say something that is kinda weird but I think it's due to generation gap and a little bit of cultural difference. But again, your mom can attest to this....culture in Benaras vs Mumbai is super different! My dad grew up in Maharashtra and was so disappointed when he moved to UP because the culture was so different. Kinda like here....the culture in my state is different from NY...

Originally posted by: Meena_J

yeah...they told us about their experiences when my grandparents had "expectations" to get a decent degree, get a job, get settled, get married at a certain age, have kids...like the typical expectations...

I think those days when life followed a timeline are gone now. We are all focused on our education and careers because it forms our identity. People are getting married later or not at all. Not everyone wants to have kids or wants to wait. It's so weird to think that my grandma got married at 18 and my mom got married at 26. I'm about to be 23 so I can't even imagine getting married any time soon and my parents don't expect me to either

My city is under curfew until morning and all ramps have been shut down...how's the situation in NYC?