Suvan FF: A Thousand Years - Completed - Page 25

Chapter 17

--- Shravan’s POV ---

I had gone back to Mumbai for a week for some work. During this time, I missed Sumo and Sagar so much that even a couple days without them were unbearable. I smiled to myself as I drove to her house. Things between us were slowly changing and we were becoming our usual self again. Initially, Sumo kept trying to stay away but lately she seemed to be more comfortable with me. She still loves me and if anything, her love for me has intensified but she won’t admit it.

I knocked on the door but no one answered. I became worried as Sagar always opens the door within seconds of my knocking. I knocked harder yet still no answer. I started to panic and got my phone out to call Sumo and that’s when she opened the door. She smiled and went to greet me but I cut her off and started yelling. “Why weren’t you opening the door? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

She covered my mouth and giggled, “You are so impatient. I was on the back porch reading a book so it took me a while to open the door. Don’t panic so easily”. I got lost in her beauty as she continued laughing. How can anyone be so perfect? She called out to me, “Are you just going to stand there or will you come in? Hurry up, it’s going to rain soon”. I noticed that the house was unusually quiet. It’s never this quiet because Sagar is always playing around but I didn’t see him anywhere. I asked Sumo about Sagar's whereabouts and she nonchalantly replied that he wasn’t here. I panicked again. Not here? What does that mean? Did Anish try to come get him? Sumo laughed seeing me fret and replied, “He’s visiting Kancha. She’s moving to Indore so she stopped by and took him since he hasn’t seen his cousins in a long time. When did you start worrying so much, Shravan? I miss my cool and careless friend”.

I held her hand and said, “You don’t understand. The thought of you or Sagar being in danger terrifies me. I can’t live without-”. She looked at me and maybe I was dreaming, but her cheeks turned pink.

She smiled and grazed her fingers on my forehead. “These creases on your forehead don’t suit you at all”. I sighed and told her that I should go back as Sagar wasn’t here. I turned to leave and she grabbed my hand. She frowned, “Do you only come to see Sagar? Can’t you come to see your best friend once in a while?” I smiled realizing that Sumo wanted me to stay. I missed her and our friendship so much. She held my hand as we walked out to the back porch. I sat down on the patio sofa and noticed Sumo smiling at me. I felt like she was smiling at me more than usual today. I nudged her arm and she snapped out of her daze. She fumbled, “I...umm...you rest, I’ll make you my special ginger tea”. I offered to help her but she refused and ran to go make tea. Her behavior really confused me sometimes.

I got up and leaned against the pillar as it started to rain. I closed my eyes as the tiny droplets kissed my face. I took a deep breath taking in the smell of the earth. The rain pattered loudly and the sound calmed my heart. I felt someone lean against me and rest their head on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes to see Sumo leaning on my arm with her eyes closed. “The sound of the rain...it’s so different from the-”

I smiled and finished her sentence, “From the firing of the bullets that we are used to hearing on the battlefield”. She opened her eyes and moved away. She nodded and asked me if I still had nightmares. I shook my head and told her that they had decreased but once in a while I would have a nightmare of being trapped inside that tunnel. She called me over to drink my tea but the rain had me in a trance. I leaned against the railing and threw my head back letting the rain claim me. I felt like the young and playful Shravan in me had awakened.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my collar as I was pulled away from the rain. Sumo angrily said, “What are you doing? Now, your hair is all wet and you will get sick. I’ll bring you a towel”. She turned to leave but I caught her arm and pulled her towards me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly so she couldn’t escape and shook my wet hair in her face. Her giggles echoed in my ear telling me to stop but she didn’t resist. She pulled my cheek and said, “You will never change”. She started talking about how I did this to her after the wedding when we were at the hotel before my flight for Kashmir. As she was talking, her voice started to fade as I became focused on the droplet that slowly trailed down her cheekbone. I inched closer and kissed the droplet. She gasped and froze. I started kissing away all the droplets on her face and she closed her eyes. I trembled as I stared at the last droplet that rested on her bottom lip. I brought up my hand to her hair and drew her near me until our foreheads were touching. She clutched my collar tightly and her breathing became erratic as our lips brushed. I leaned in to suck the tiny droplet off her lip but suddenly her eyes shot open and she pushed me away.

She looked at me with fearful eyes as they teared up. She turned to leave and I caught her arm again. My voice cracked as I pleaded, “Please don’t leave. Don’t run away from me again”. She pulled her hand away and ran into the house. I turned around and covered my face in frustration. How could I cross the line with her like that? What must she be thinking about me? Suddenly, I felt something soft on my shoulder. It was a towel.

I turned to see Sumo standing in front of me and staring at the ground. She whispered, “Dry your hair. You’ll catch a cold”. I lazily dried my hair as more important things were on my mind. She told me to sit down and drink my tea. She noticed that the tea had gotten cold and said she was going to reheat it but I stopped her.

I looked away and stuttered, “Sumo, I...I’m sorry. Can we talk?” She ignored my request and took the towel from my hand. She dried my hair with the towel as she mumbled that my hair was dripping wet and I was like a little kid who didn’t even properly know how to dry his hair. I held her hand and firmly said, “Sumo, I want to talk”. She quietly sat down next to me and I watched her hands as she clutched her dress. I whispered, “I’m sorry, I-”

She spoke up, “Stop apologizing. I didn’t stop you either…So, you have nothing to be guilty about”. I gently squeezed her hand and asked why she didn’t stop me. I knew the answer but I wanted to hear it from her. I want to hear her admit that she still loves me and trusts me with herself and that’s why she didn’t stop me. But, then why did she pull away? I just can’t seem to understand her. She pulled her hand away and whispered, “I don’t want to talk about this. I’m going to go make dinner”.

She got up to leave but I was adamant to get my answers today. I pulled her arm and she fell onto my chest. My voice broke as I asked her, “Why do you keep running away from me? What is it that you’re scared of?” She sat in my arms silently for a while she got lost in her thoughts. I carefully studied her face trying to understand her but then her lip started quivering. She surprised me by burying her face into my neck as she broke down crying. I caressed her hair trying to calm her down. I decided that I wouldn’t ask her any more questions until she was ready to talk. I don’t want to be the reason for her tears. After she calmed down, I looked at her and softly said, “I think I should leave now”.

I was taken aback when she tightly wrapped her arms around my neck and said between her hiccups, “That’s what I’m scared of, Shravan”. I grew confused by what she meant. I pulled back and wiped her tears. She held my hand and sniffled, “It seems like we are destined to meet only to be separated. I’ve lost count of how many times we have had to leave each other because life gets in the way”. I watched her carefully as her eyes started tearing up. Her voice cracked as she said, “ You would think that after being separated so many times, I would get used to the feeling. But, the pain gets worse every time. I’m trying to stay away from you because my heart just can’t take the pain anymore, Shravan. I can’t keep losing you and wounding my heart to the point that it can’t even heal anymore”. As I listened to her, everything started to make more sense. Yes, separating from her hurt me too but I never realized the depth of Sumo's anguish. She scoffed, “But, my stupid heart melts every time it sees you. It tells me that you are worth every heartache even if it kills me”.

I was overwhelmed hearing Sumo spill out her emotions in front of me. I know how difficult it is for her to share her feelings but she trusts me so much that she surrendered her heart to me just so I could have my answers. I pulled her close and she relaxed in my arms. I kissed her temple and said, “Not this time, Sumo. I have a feeling we’re going to be together forever now”.

She looked up and asked in a pained voice, “How do you know for sure? I’m scared of being happy because I know that life has always taken that happiness away from me”.

I kissed her forehead and said, “Well, I don’t know for sure. But, I promise you that I won’t let you go this time. We have control over our fate. Trust me, I won’t let anything separate us again. But, you have to promise me too that you won’t let go of me no matter what happens”.

She moved away and gulped, “Shravan, are you sure you want to be with me forever? Think about it well and don’t rush into anything. If it’s about being with Sagar forever, I promise you that I will never take him away from you”.

I gave her a confused look. Does she even know that being with her had always been a dream for me that seemed unattainable? But, now when this dream can become a reality, why would I have second thoughts? I tucked her hair behind her ear and gently said, “If I could, I would make you mine right now. I don’t need to think about it. As for Sagar, I didn’t use him to get close to you. My connection with him is different and I know nothing in the world can tear him apart from me. He is a lot more stubborn than you and I. He fights destiny until he gets what he wants. But, Sumo I want to be with you only because it’s you….it was always you...even when I was seventeen”.

She started crying again. “But, everything has changed since then Shravan. I’m not the same girl you loved”. I brought her close to my heart as I stroked her hair and told her that nothing had changed. I was still the same, she was the same, and so was our love. She looked up and moved her hair over one shoulder. She took a deep breath and said, “Look at me closely, Shravan. Look at these ugly scars. I’m not the same girl you once called more beautiful than the moon. How can you love me with this blemished face?”

I clenched my jaw trying to prevent the tears in my eyes from falling. I couldn’t believe she felt this way about herself and that her scars would influence my feelings for her. I asked in a broken voice, “Did you think my love for you was that fickle? Do you not trust me? I want to ask you, can you love me knowing that I have an amputated leg?” Sumo stared at me as she was speechless. Because the truth was that her love for me was unconditional and she realized that my love would not falter just because of some scars. But, it bothered me that the woman I consider to be the most beautiful on this earth didn’t feel the same way about herself. I gently traced her scars with my fingertips and whispered, “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Sumo”.

She closed her eyes and scoffed, “Well, you know what they say...beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

I smiled and replied, “Then see yourself from my eyes...then you’ll realize how beautiful you truly are and maybe you’ll start to love yourself again”. She gasped and opened her eyes as I kissed her scars.

She looked away and asked, “You always call me beautiful but I never understood what you meant. A lot of men have called me beautiful but those compliments stopped when I got these scars. What is it that still makes me beautiful in your eyes, Shravan?”

I smiled and kissed her forehead. “You’re beautiful in the way you always think about others before yourself”. I placed soft kisses on her eyes and whispered, “You’re beautiful in the way you see the good in everyone”. I bent down and pecked her lips. “You’re beautiful in the way you speak so truthfully yet never with the intention to hurt anyone”. I kissed over her heart and said, “You’re beautiful in the way your heart is so pure that you are willing to accept pain for the sake of others”. I held her face that was streaming with tears. “When I look at you, I still get the same feeling I got as a teenager. Then and now, when I look at your beautiful face, I thank god for creating such an amazing human being. Every inch of you inside and out is so beautiful and I find myself asking how can anyone be so perfect? Does that answer your question?”

She slowly nodded and pulled me close to her. She lightly brushed her lips against mine and I felt my skin tingle. I leaned in and kissed her. I had yearned to hold her close to me. I lightly chuckled at the way she ran her fingers through my hair. I knew she liked my old hairstyle and maybe that’s why I grew out my hair again. Our kiss was slow and gentle but then we deepened the kiss and soon it became really passionate. I pulled her close so there was no space between our bodies. We were lost in each other’s touch when suddenly, the loud thunder boomed and it started raining harder. We moved back and looked into each other’s eyes. The lightning flashed and reflected in her eyes, dark and intense with passion.

My heart was racing as I rested my forehead against hers and asked if she wanted the same thing as me. She slowly nodded and kissed my neck. She rested her head against my chest as I scooped her up into my arms and started walking up the stairs to her bedroom. I gently placed her onto the bed and stood there staring at her. All of this felt like a dream. She reached out to me as she was waiting for me to join her. I felt really nervous but she looked so comfortable. It was probably because she had the memory of the night in Ladakh whereas for me this would be our first time being intimate with each other. I kissed her forehead and slipped her out of her dress. She instinctively turned away trying to hide the scars on her body and my heart broke. It will take a lot of work for her to love herself again. I turned her towards me and whispered, “Don’t hide yourself from me. I love all of you. I just wish I could make you realize how beautiful you truly are, Sumo”.

She gulped and removed her arm revealing the scars that decorated her body. I pulled her close, feeling her smooth skin that was a lot softer than it looked. She unbuttoned my shirt and my skin set on fire when our bare skin came into contact. She nuzzled my neck and smirked, “You won’t forget this time, right?”

I chuckled, “Not a chance” and closed the distance between us as the loud thunder drowned out our moans and whispers to love one each other for eternity. That night, I promised to myself that no matter what, I would never leave her hand again and that I would erase all her insecurities with my love.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Sorry about any grammar/spelling mistakes as is late at night. This update is a bit cheesy and dramatic so I'm a bit embarrassed about posting it 😆 Please comment/like and let me know what you think. Three more chapters left!