Abir - the family guy???

As much as I have loved Shaheer's body of work, it's becoming hard for me to understand what attracted him to this character or rather why he is still a part of this show, as I re-watch certain episodes from the show.

For context, I was watching the episodes from the fight between Abir and Kunal in the Ganesh Chaturthi pandal. (Side note: What phenomenal piece of acting by Shaheer and Ritvik!!! Absolutely amazing!). Now, I've reached the episode where Nanu falls ill and Abir threatens Meenakshi that if she didn't tell him the whereabouts of his dad, he would lodge an FIR.

Coming to the part that bothers me, Abir is so selfish!!!!! When your whole family is telling you and I mean, even Jugnu, you need to stop and listen to them. They've told you so many times that the man is not right for anyone. Chalo leave pehle ki baat. Naanu has said it 3 times in two episodes. He has fallen ill because of his obsession and still, he is saying that this house needs Baba. Oh come on!! Bolne se pehle socho to zara!

After watching this set of episodes, I don't even understand why people say that he is the one pulling the whole family together. He is the reason why the whole family needs to be pulled together. If he was even a bit responsible and a bit trusting of his family, which he so isn't. As he said so himself to Nanu, "Iss family me main aapko chhod kar kisi aur pe trust nahi karta hoon aur aapne bhi mujhse jhoot bola" and then, he decides to leave the family to search for the man who left years ago just because he remembers one memory that doesn't sit right with the story he has been told??

Also, what is with his attitude whenever someone tells him the truth? When he asks Nanu about his dad (in the middle of his Naani's shraad pooja, mind you!), and Nanu tells him the mellowed down version of the truth for his own sake, he says that he wants to know the "truth" and not the story he has been told since he was a kid and what a piece of work his father. Well, the fact of the matter is he only wanted to hear a story where his dad comes out as a Bappa worshipping philanthropic hero.

Naanu was the reason my faith got restored in the episode when he said, "Sach koi bachpan me suni kahaani nahi hai ki pasand nahi aayi to badal di jaaye. Jo sach hai, wo sach hi rahega."

But dude still doesn't care!! Ek kaan se suna aur doosre se nikaal diya! He is like "All of you people might have raised me, taken care of me all these years and even though, everyone is telling me that I should not do this, I will not listen to you but rather trust my 20year old memory in which I just see my dad leaving my hand. I may not remember his name, his face, or any discerning detail about this person but surely, my judgement is better than 4 adults telling me their actual experience of this man." Oh god! He is such a man-child!!! I can't believe I didn't see this when the episode aired!

Update (as if anyone cares but anyway):

After watching Abir come back home just to announce he is going to leave (such a drama queen!), he says the following dialogues:

"Ho sakta ha ki aap sahi aur mai galat hoon. Ho sakta hai ke maa sahi ho aur mere baba galat. (No doy!) Lekin aapne mujhse jhoot kaha. Kya wo sahi tha?"

I mean, seriously? You are gonna palto the guilt on the family when they have been trying to hold it together when you can't accept the truth?! Come on! Take responsibility for something, dude!!!

as far as Shaheer taking up the role is concerned, I think it would have been a good choice if the writing was better

also this is probably the first show where he is getting to dance so much, infact in one of the initial interviews he said that he feels like he is doing a musical, because he is shooting a dance performance every other day

but coming back to the character of abir, I think most of us fell in love with abir because of his hatke ML character sketch, I mean he was a banjara, a shayar, working in ngo ML, so different from the usual angsty, billion dollar businessmen ML in itv universe

infact him being flawed made him more relevant & interesting, but those flaws not getting addressed (or only getting addressed when its MLvsFL scenarios) is what ruins abir for me

Originally posted by: peacenfun

as far as Shaheer taking up the role is concerned, I think it would have been a good choice if the writing was better

also this is probably the first show where he is getting to dance so much, infact in one of the initial interviews he said that he feels like he is doing a musical, because he is shooting a dance performance every other day

but coming back to the character of abir, I think most of us fell in love with abir because of his hatke ML character sketch, I mean he was a banjara, a shayar, working in ngo ML, so different from the usual angsty, billion dollar businessmen ML in itv universe

infact him being flawed made him more relevant & interesting, but those flaws not getting addressed (or only getting addressed when its MLvsFL scenarios) is what ruins abir for me

I get the appeal that his character had in the beginning but what now?

I wouldn't have an issue if they were getting addressed. The problem is that instead of using it as plot to explore his character further, the makers redeem him by shifting guilt and keep reiterating how amazing he is when his inability to accept the truth when it's not what he wants to hear is the main reason for all the fasaad.

There is so much potential still to explore the flaws and his tendency to run away from issues when it becomes overwhelming for him, but I don't see it happening because he is an ITV ML, moreover lead in a SP & DKP show. And we've seen it over the years how DKP handles it's leads story. They can do a thousand wrongs but majaal hai ki wo galti ke liye unhe zimmedaar thehraaya jaaye. Instead, they'll put another character under the bus so that the leads look better. They did it with Nishant on this show and recently, with Vedika on the PS.

I don't understand why they give the flaw to the character and build the story around it if they're just not going to address it??!!

P.S. Sorry Peace! I got too riled up. Bad storytelling does that to me at times.

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Instead, they'll put another character under the bus so that the leads look better. They did with Nishant on this show and recently, with Vedika on the PS.

I don't understand why they give the flaw to the character and build the story around it if they're just not going to address it??!!

#Iagree

the story & the show could have been taken to an altogether different level only if this obsession could have been avoided, I guess thats what makes the show unique & worthy of being watched even 4-5yrs down the line

how do u want to see abir and what makes u think abir is not a family guy?

I 100% agree with you, Pihu.

The characterization of Abir isn't the problem. The problem is how the writing chooses to portray that same characterization. In order to see Abir's flaws, you have to look extremely closely, past all of the common ITV tropes that are meant to distract from the deeper story just to create drama and "excitement".

So many times, we have seen Abir as a less-than-perfect human being, but the writing refuses to address it, and instead conveniently frames it as something completely different so as to keep the "cool" factor of the male lead intact. Take the scene in which Abir is fighting with Meenakshi about Ketki's impending marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_k3tB5DZkC/

So when we watch this scene less attentively, Abir is portrayed as being his little sister's hero, her knight in shining armor, her protector. He is the socially progressive, moral compass of his family of oppressive, close-minded individuals. But if we watch it again, but this time with more attention to the context, it's not that hard to see that this conflict is less about Ketki, and more about Abir and Meenakshi's disagreements. This is where I found Meenakshi to be more justified. I found it odd that Abir was giving Meenu a hard time for forcing this relationship on Ketki when clearly, he doesn't know the whole picture because he wasn't there. Where was he, might you ask? Oh, he was backpacking across Gujarat, because he wanted to escape the throes of his mother's so called suffocating household, instead of facing her head on like an adult. This is a character flaw that could easily be focused on and developed on to build depth in the characterization: his inability to face problems head on. But instead, the writing chooses to conveniently glorify his rebellion as some sort of heroism, and sends the message that "disrespecting your parents is the 'cool' and 'modern' and 'progressive' thing to do". Having productive, civil discussions with your parents should be encouraged. Taunting and talking back hotheadedly them like this should not. It's such a kiddish, immature thing to do.

If the flaws of each character were actually addressed for what they were, I think we'd have a complete story of substance, depth, and meaning. Whitewashing those same flaws in certain characters, and then proceeding to crucify other characters for having similar flaws depending on who the character is creates such double standards that are extremely hard to digest.

Originally posted by: journalgirl321

I 100% agree with you, Pihu.

The characterization of Abir isn't the problem. The problem is how the writing chooses to portray that same characterization. In order to see Abir's flaws, you have to look extremely closely, past all of the common ITV tropes that are meant to distract from the deeper story just to create drama and "excitement".

So many times, we have seen Abir as a less-than-perfect human being, but the writing refuses to address it, and instead conveniently frames it as something completely different so as to keep the "cool" factor of the male lead intact. Take the scene in which Abir is fighting with Meenakshi about Ketki's impending marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_k3tB5DZkC/

So when we watch this scene less attentively, Abir is portrayed as being his little sister's hero, her knight in shining armor, her protector. He is the socially progressive, moral compass of his family of oppressive, close-minded individuals. But if we watch it again, but this time with more attention to the context, it's not that hard to see that this conflict is less about Ketki, and more about Abir and Meenakshi's disagreements. This is where I found Meenakshi to be more justified. I found it odd that Abir was giving Meenu a hard time for forcing this relationship on Ketki when clearly, he doesn't know the whole picture because he wasn't there. Where was he, might you ask? Oh, he was backpacking across Gujarat, because he wanted to escape the throes of his mother's so called suffocating household, instead of facing her head on like an adult. This is a character flaw that could easily be focused on and developed on to build depth in the characterization: his inability to face problems head on. But instead, the writing chooses to conveniently glorify his rebellion as some sort of heroism, and sends the message that "disrespecting your parents is the 'cool' and 'modern' and 'progressive' thing to do". Having productive, civil discussions with your parents should be encouraged. Taunting and talking back hotheadedly them like this should not. It's such a kiddish, immature thing to do.

If the flaws of each character were actually addressed for what they were, I think we'd have a complete story of substance, depth, and meaning. Whitewashing those same flaws in certain characters, and then proceeding to crucify other characters for having similar flaws depending on who the character is creates such double standards that are extremely hard to digest.

the above seen u have kept shows different mentalities but both meenu and abir had valid points... abir not being in home but he always is GOTO person for everyone there... abir is roaming in gujrat not just for escaping meenu but he is doing multi tasking... he is in search of his father, he is learning different things from woman of low poverty and encouraging them to stand on their own... if u see the epi of holika dahan... abir clearly says he learnt doing jalebi's and he is helping those woman to stand on their feet...

even after this meenu and abir tashan... abir held meenu's hand to search for kunal in the temple and he even taken meenu's foot wear from her legs... abir is a sanskari rebel...

im not saying he is correct but in our daily lives we argue with our parents and some times our words also go beyond repair...

Abir is not a Family Guy, he's a banjara ye Hume epi 1 se pata hai

He never goes for what will happen to family and Its reputation, he goes for right thing

Ketki ke liye khada hua because she doesn't want to get married not thinking about family reputation

And the way he answers meenu benause he knows meenu always uses baba's going away thing to her advantage, To why can't he blame her, disrespecting elders is not cool but disrespecting wrong is very cool

Kunal ko shaadi mein laana chaha because kuhu is waiting for kunal a girl who's in love with his nanko not because family ka kya hoga

Mishti ke saath dusre ghar mein rehna chaha , not just because his baba said that, but he also knew mishti will not be happy

Mishti ke saath break up isliye nahi kiya Kyuki family ka kya hoga agar sach bahar aa gaya but Isliye kiya Kyuki his nanko will not be able to handle it

During baba's track

From childhood he was informed that his baba left his mom, no reason nothing, the Man who put such beautiful thoughts in his mind, who preached the idealistic things, who loved him when left without a reason isn't it's meenakshi's responsibility to be honest with him, chalo bachpan mein nahi Kar sakti, why she waited till baba came, usse pehle tak what was the reason, she has her sources Kar deti proof, abir pehle nahi maanta but investigate zarur karta and sach tak pahuch hi jaata. Then why not (don't blame writing let's keep it into the story, story ka ye part samajh nahi aaya iska matlab Ye nahi ki CVs ki galti it means Kuch to hai which is still hidden ), the way baba said ki Dusra adhyay baaki hai Meri kahaani ka matlab aur pages khulne baaki hai that could make meenu parul mehul every character seem different

Abir asking Nanu and telling him that he expected truth, he trusted on shradh, yes he's a man child who just got his baba with with other family members are not happy at all. I agree he behaved little immaturely, he became stubborn so what, he has that right considering his mental state.

Why can't you all just say him truth, just tell him and then trust him with that. They actually thought of giving him news articles as proof, yeah right

Why he trusted baba more than his whole family, he finally found his home in mishti, his mom and nanko against it, insulting his home all the time and then a man comes who says he understands his love for mishti, he understands he wants a family, though Sab dhong tha but he said all this and Abir being MAN CHILD will of course want that. He wanted a moment of piece with his family, he wanted his nanko to be there, his naanu to be there but nothing happened like that.

Atleast vo apne decisions dusro pe thopta to nahi hai, 3-4 baar samjhaya kunal ko why he wanted mishti in his life, he loves him too but he can't chose, he made it clear to meenu that why he loves her sabko bata diya that he'll not stake his relation with mishti because of them, nahi Maane he decided to shift. At least MERE pariwaar ke liye, MAIN Ye hone nahi dunga, MAIN Ye nahi chahta ye Sab to nahi bola, sabko apni soch ke saath rehne deta hai, chahta hai ki vo uske hisaab se bhi soche, Samjhe but uske liye games nahi khelta

And what's with that leads ko mahaan dikhane ke liye character ko ruin Kar rahe, characters acche Kab the, wasn't nannu was addicted obsessed person from his childhood, wasn't it was obvious ki break up mein third entry Hui hai to to wo love triangle ke liye Hui hai, fir bhi jis hisaab ki treatment other characters ko milti hai grand entry grand exit with leads saying sorry to them and Ehsaan maan na unka ki Wo unki life mein aaye or hain, all the deeds brushed under the carpet, itni mahaanta Dikha ke jaate Sab and then too because leads ko mahaan banana hai . Leads are mahaan from starting, nahi hote to baaki character's ki story develop nahi hoti.

Yeah... Sure. Abir may be show's most selfish, immature, untrusting, manipulative, family breaking, uncaring, disillusioned, flawed man-child...

Ummm... can we leave Shaheer and his choice out of this? He doesn't need to be judged like Abir for exercising his right to choose as an adult.