Rhea-Shaheer|MishBir|AT: 82| DT Reminder note Pg 104

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RamAayeHain

@RamAayeHain

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

#221

Originally posted by: SheThought

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Mimzy

@Mimzy

Dazzler

Posted: 5 years ago

#222

Originally posted by: Aishu13
Ok this will be my thoughts on today’s episode. I know I can put it in the episode analysis but I am a bit scared, please if you don’t agree with me let’s debate not bash each other. I have had a great experience so far but I am a bit nervous as this is a loaded post.

First of all, I loved today’s episode. I have a habit of looking at the time I have left, but today I was left wanting more. This is how I felt in the initial episodes. I also understand the way this track is shaping up to be, and how this unprecedented situation tampered the episode so before anything. I want to say a great thank you to everyone involved, including the extras that were shown. I am in the medical research field, so I am very biased towards health care professionals but I understood how hard it must be for them as well.

I know everyone says Abir’s band aid theory and I know people are frustrated by it. But you have to take into account Abir’s backstory. The fact is he went through trauma as well, his parents were unavailable both emotionally and physically, that has shaped him with scars and flaws as well. I relate to him this way, I grew in a very similar situation being the judge between my parents and being a role model to a much younger sibling. In this type of environment, you hide everything. Humor and insanity becomes a tool, and it is very easy to hide behind it. From the outside we are balanced but what eats the most is self deprication. It is very hard to love yourself, and it is very easy to loose yourself helping others. The irony of this situation is that Abir basically lectured Mishti about this while he himself doesn’t follow it. For years, he has been the glue of the Rajvaansh family by basically not caring about his pain or insults. I think that is why he expects Mishti to be the mature one, because that is what he was. This is not fair to Mishti, that is why I loved their fight! Mishti doesn’t want to be treated like that anymore because her entire Maheshwari life she was treated like that explicitly by many characters. She realizes how hard it is because she had Badimaa and Badepapa to talk to, who showed how much they truly love her. Mishti was angry because she is being forced into this situation again, but this time she is in no “ehsaan”. She knows she has the right to live happy because she is the elder bahu of the Rajvaansh household, not like her initial situation where she was basically thrust into a new environment albeit unfairly. The argument was beautiful because it showed both of their insecurities, Abir unknowingly opening up “a purana gaau” when he says that she has a messed up equation, and that this house won’t split. This is Mishti’s fear that one day if she doesn’t hold her right, Abir will think she is too damaged and will break his household. This is also why Kuhu has reached her threshold with Kuhu, Mishti knows that this household is as much her right as Kuhu’s. Initially when she taunted, Mishti would ignore as she partially realizes that this is Kuhu’s blood relations, while not for her, now that is not the case. She is doing what Abir wanted her to: to be stubborn.

I wrote during the Shivaatri track why Mishbir were foiling Shiva and Parvathi (and they actually used it, they are spying on me yaar!). That is still holding true, Abir for the most part does not get angry he keeps his emotions in check, especially anger and sadness. But even the slightest bit of anger, ruins everything, he becomes unhinged and out of control (i.e Ved beating up). But with the time and thoughts when he calms he realizes how wrong he was and works on it to rectify it. If he is insulted or hurt he takes it as he deserved it, and keeps going. Here is where Mishti comes in, she is his confidante he can tell her anything and she will be there to listen and show him the correct path. But unfortunately she also gets his anger as a package deal (not fair nor am I condoning it) and faces the trials as well. The beauty is Mishti because of the positive influences in her life is realizing her worth, and is not afraid to voice her thoughts to Abir. Does she still get insecure? Of course, she is in a new environment but she is still fighting. Her fight is what will make Abir realize his self worth, as the way he is being treated will also cause the way Mishti is being treated. I want Mishti to stand up tall and show him his flaws, and his worth and soon he will also learn to be stubborn with his family including Kuhu soon.

I am really sorry for a loooong post. I still have thoughts, but they are more jumbled than this. Let’s see how the story goes on. Also I tried to be balanced, sorry if I went overboard with some of my thoughts. Please agree and disagree with me, I want to her y’all’s opinions on this too!

You have expressed this beautifully Aishu....... smiley20

You know you are right, Abir doesn't follow his advises especially abt loving yourself. He thinks he isn't worth it. You know I would love to hear more about your thoughts about why he would think like that?

Is it because he thinks his happiness lies in making his family happy?? Is it because if he can make their wishes come true they will be happy and by default he will be happy too?? Is it because instead of finding the happiness in himself he is trying to find it in others??

Being a guide comes naturally to him because he tried to be a role model for his nanko. Tried to make him realise that he is not defined by his parents and should live life on his terms. Same like he did for Mishti. But when it comes to him, he always keeps his wishes on a back burner so that his family could have their happiness first.

Mishti's issues are altogether different but same. She might be burdened by ehsaan from maheshwari family, thinks she isn't worth the love from them. But she also has a fighting spirit which prevents her from totally giving up on her happiness, even for her family.

Its like she fights and he compromises. He can take any insult to his self for his family. Mishti also take all the insults but her nature always makes her fight back.

@ bold - You have explained it well. This is what I want Abir to realise. Even if he can take insults to self for family he can't expect Mishti to do the same. And you have worded it well....her fight will make him realise his worth. He will understand that the way he is treated will also be a reflection of how Mishti will be treated in future.

Mishti realised the same when Kuhu started calling her a freeloader in effect calling Abir a freeloader. She realised by putting up with all of Kuhu's insults she was disrespecting herself. But now her insult will also be Abir's insult which she is not be able to bear, even if he can.

Its funny that Kunal who was the most immature of them all realised this fact, when the other 3 couldn't understand this simple fact. His conversation with Kuhu and Abir was gold, which makes us realise he is not as oblivious or immature as it seems.

The question is ....he can compromise for the sake of family.....but will he be able to tolerate Mishti compromising for him at every turn??

Will he realise he is being unfair to himself and Mishti by making her think he is right and she is wrong?? Or will Mishti make him realise sometimes cracks cannot be closed by a band aid......You need to cut the wound open and treat it??

Will they make each other realise they need to listen and understand each other first. BM gave a golden advise today. Basically, what she said was when both of them are angry one should listen first. And when the other person cools down, she can make him listen. Then they will come to an understanding and fights will not occur.

Edited by Mimzy - 5 years ago