*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. K.Z.K.2 .·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*
Chapter One
Gossip and chatter filled Sharma Niwas as family members and close associates rushed about in preparation for the ceremony. Anurag watched as events unfolded, his mood fluctuating between excitement and outright trepidation for his friend.
Prerna was nowhere to be seen, although he knew she was there, for he could sense her presence. It was one of those things one could not explain or understand, it just was.
“It’s so sad, really, she was so fortunately married only for the man to abandon her,” one of the guests close to Anurag said,causing his ire to rise. Prerna had been strong in the face of everything that had happened, yet these women failed to see that.
“She’d fortunate though, there’s another willing to marry her and take on the child.”
“Yes, she is very lucky, her new husband has very good career and is from a good family.”
Any mention of Prena and Viraj’s impending wedding irritated Anurag. While he had suggested the match, he could not explain the persistent suspicion and refutation that filled him whenever he thought of them together. His heart opposed any such suggestion while his mind told him he had no actual right over Prerna. It angered him that Prerna was going through all this alone,perhaps not truly alone, but still she should not have had to. Yet, as with everything, Prerna held her head high and faced everything head on.
Anurag’s gaze shifted to his father. It had been his father’s insistence that had ensured that they were in attendance. Anurag knew his father loved Prerna like a daughter. Even while he’d been studying in London his father had kept him up to date with things in the Sharma family.That was why it had been so easy to embrace Prerna’s presence in his life on his return. She was a connection to his ever-illusive past no one wanted to tell him anything about. He felt comfortable around her, as she seemed around him. He only wished he could remember everything, then perhaps he would understand why his father had been so insistent on not only attending the ceremony but actually partaking in it – even when faced with Mohini’s obvious disapproval.
He again scanned the room, looking for Shekar or Shivani or anyone not too busy and who could tell him where Prerna and the baby were. He just wanted to assure himself that she was okay and that everything was in order. Intuitively his gaze shifted to the second floor, to the closed door he knew led to Prerna’s room. He had not seen her in days, ever since Sneha’s birth, because no one had allowed him to meet with her. They had spoken over the phone, but she had rejected his video calls, which to him were indicative that something was wrong. He missed her, possibly a lot more than he should given circumstances, but not seeing her after everything she’d gone through before Sneha’s birth, had him constantly worry about her whereabouts and safety.
Even before Sneha’s birth, Anurag was convinced that someone wanted to kill either Prerna or Sneha, possibly even both. And while he had considered the possibility of the person being Prerna’s recalcitrant husband, Prerna remained unwilling to even disclose the man’s identity or whether the man had actually divorced her. Had he a name, Anurag could at least investigate matters and discover why the man would have abandoned his best friend and their child. It would also explain Prerna’s unwavering loyalty towards the man, and why even after abandoning her, she wore the man’s sindoor and mangalsutra. If only he could remember the man, and not just snippets of his and Prerna’s arguments about the man’s suitability as a husband for her.
Oddly, the knowledge that Viraj had also been prohibited from meeting Prerna and her daughter had comforted him, just as Anurag welcomed the man’s absence from the ceremony. He was still trying to make sense of his discord regarding her impending marriage. While he knew he should place Prerna’s interests and happiness first, he simply could not reconcile the fact that she would have another husband.
The longer it took for the ceremony to start, the more restless he became. They had a history of inauspicious things happening during official events, which was probably why he felt so uncomfortable and restless.
His entire body stiffened when Sonalika came to stand next to him. It was an instinctive response he failed to understand. She was after all his wife, but he could not bring himself as far as to fully embrace everything that implied. He knew it strained their relationship. Which could be why she seemed different after Sneha’s birth. He just could not determine whether it was a positive or negative change. Sonalika had after all befriended Prerna, because she knew Prerna was important to him, but it left him feeling… strange.
With the arrival of Sneha, his mother had hinted that he should think of starting his own family. Only he couldn’t bring himself to seriously contemplate it. It did not feel right. Perhaps once Prerna was married and settled again he could seriously think about it.
He again looked everyone over, trying not to hear the conversations. Society had a habit of deriding those who dared to go against its norms and standards; while those who groused the most, their behaviour remained most dubious.
Shivani stood close to Anupam, something Anurag found very strange given his knowledge of Nivedita disapproval of their friendship. However both seemed oblivious of Nivedita’s disgruntled attitude. Anurag envied their friendship and how easily they would share news… especially news regarding Prerna and the baby. Shivani had even sent Anupam pictures of the Sneha after mother and daughter had returned home from the hospital.Pictures Anupam had willingly shown Anurag and his father, but remained unswerving when it came to forwarding them. Anupam and Shviani seemed deep in conversation, thus Anurag made a mental note to speak with his brother-in-law when they returned home.
Anurag again glanced up towards Prerna’s room, as if something drew his attention there. The doors were still closed and he knew there was no valid reason for him to check on her, but he wanted to. His breath caught as the door opened. Anticipation throbbed through him at the thought of seeing Prerna again, only for his heart to grow a little heavier when Veena stepped from the room. Mrs. Sharma said something, which he could not make out, but then Prerna stepped from the room carrying Sneha.
His heart thudded in his chest. A jumbled sense of peace, elation and anticipation filled him as he watched their progress along the passageway. Prerna appeared tired, something he did not like. She protectively held her daughter as they descended the stairs. Sensing their presence, everyone grew quiet and turned to look at mother and daughter.
Prerna moved towards his father and gently lowered Sneha into Moloy’s arms. Obvious adoration lit his father’s face as he looked at the little girl while Prerna took up her position on his father’s left-hand-side, much to his mother’s obvious displeasure.
Anurag felt covetous even though he knew he should not feel that way towards his father. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to be the one who held Sneha during the ceremony. He restlessly settled next to his wife when everyone took up their positions for the pooja and tried to catch a decent glimpse of Sneha, but the multitude of actions and gestures around the little girl rendered it almost impossible.
The priest began the chants, although Anurag found himself incapable of focusing on the ceremony. His eyes constantly shifted between his father, holding Sneha, and Prerna. After Mr. Sharma’s death, his father had taken over the responsibilities of their father during auspicious events. But there seemed to be something deeper there, Anurag just could not determine exactly what. His father seemed both pleased and thrilled to be filling the position of grandfather, a stark reminder that neither Anurag nor Nivedita had provided their family with the well sought after first grandchild.
His mother mumbled something under her breath,something Nivedita must have heard because she replied and then looked towards him.
Anurag turned his attention back to Moloy and Prerna. The rituals were performed in accordance with Prerna’s family’s customs and traditions. He however knew that if Sneha had been his, Nivedita would also have partaken in the rituals along with his father. He could not understand why that thought unsettled him as much.
A familiar sensation crept over his body as his eyes met Prerna’s. The warmth and calmness that filled him no longer scared him. He knew it was pointless to fight the feelings and sensations that filled him. He and Prerna shared a connection, one he had no desire to ever sever.
Prerna’s brows lifted in a gesture he was so familiar with, yet could not really place. It was just another one of those things he’d simply come to accept, in the same manner as how her eyes spoke to him. He could hear her question and knew that they needed to talk, before she married Viraj.
Once the pooja was over and all the requisite ceremonies completed, Sneha was placed in the cradle for the first time and everyone jostled to see her, everyone accept his mother, Nivedita and Sonalika. Anurag could not understand his mother’s behaviour towards Prerna. He knew his mother was obsessed with their status and position in society, but Prerna was his childhood friend, and their fathers had been inseparable, so he failed to understand her behaviour.
Anurag enviously looked on as Anupam held the little girl. From what little Anurag had actually seen, Sneha looked a lot like her mother, only her hair was dark, almost black, like his. He desperately wanted to meet the little girl and talk to her mother. He knew Prerna well enough to know she was upset about something, possibly even hiding something.He also knew she would never impose such thoughts or doubts on him, unless he asked.
Every time he tried to approach either Prerna or Sneha, someone would pull him aside or engage him in conversation for some reason. He was not oblivious of his mother’s efforts to keep a distance between him and Prerna. It quickly angered him.
Prerna retrieved a petulant Sneha from one of her many admirers and returned to their room. Anurag quickly checked to see where everyone was and who was paying attention, then stealthily he made his way up the stairs. He checked frequently to ensure that no one saw which way he went,or so he thought. His eyes locked with Anupam’s, but instead of warning him off Anupam gestured for Anurag to move it, before again drawing the women’s attention. He thanked the Gods for such an understanding brother-in-law.
Anurag quickly slipped into the room, instantly disappointed on finding Prerna absent. Their room smelt just like Prerna, with a mixture of talcum powder and something that he could not quite place. They created a warm sensation in the region of his heart, which was quickly replaced by a strong sense of trepidation.
He’d watched them come upstairs…
Too much had happened in the past for him to be nonchalant about any disappearance. He was about to exit the room when a sound from her bed drew his attention. He stepped closer only to find Sneha lying in the middle of a ring of pillows.
His lips curved upwards of their own accord as he approached the bed. Gently he lifted Sneha, supporting her head as he’d read he should, while hushing softly so that she would not make a sound. She was tiny.
“Come here and let me actually have a look at you.”He said gently placing her on his one arm, instantly wrapping to other one around protectively. He was right, she looked a lot like Prerna, they even had the same eyes, although Sneha’s nose was not as prominent. Gently, he ran his one index finger along her arm and over her little hand. “You’re absolutely perfect.”
Anurag coaxed open Sneha’s little hand, which then curved around his index finger. His heart swelled, causing him to visibly swallow. Anurag hoarsely whispered, “I would give anything and everything foryou to be mine.” There was a tightening sensation in his chest as Sheha’s gaze captured his. He knew she was still too young to understand what he said, but hoped she could feel what it was he felt. Just as the bond he shared with Prerna, he had no desire to fight the depth of emotion he felt. He again swallowed and blinked back threatening tears. With his thumb he gently rubbed the fingers gripping his index finger, smiling as Sneha’s grip again tightened.
Prerna entered her room, for a moment taken aback to find Anurag there. She had tolerated Komolika’s malicious glares, just as she’d been aware of Mohini and Nivedita’s obvious antics to keep them apart. She had no desire to return downstairs and again face curious or malicious onlookers.
She silently watched while Anurag held their daughter for the first time. It was the only time she felt content and there was no instinctive need to reclaim her child. Her heart swelled on noticing how easily their daughter enthralled her father.
His confession however stunned her into maintaining her silence. “I could just as easily lose myself in your eyes as I do in your mother’s. I wish she would tell me who your father is so that I can – no Iwouldn’t want to do that, because that would mean he could come back into your lives and hurt your mother all over again. I wish I could remember him, if only to understand why I can’t shake off this feeling that it is somehow important,that it holds relevance to my own life.”
Sneha made some gurgling sounds as if joining in the conversation while Prerna fought the tightening sensation that settled over her heart. She knew Anurag wanted children, that he would make a wonderful father,and that he would be overjoyed on learning that Sneha was his.
His attachment to Sneha was obvious for anyone tosee, even without knowing that he was her father. “Things are a little confusing right now, so you must forgive me, but I promise I will always be there for you and your mother. I really love your mother a lot. I think I know why no one is willing to tell me anything and I think it has everything to do with your father. ” It was a thought that had kept him awake more nights than what he was willing to admit. “I’ll tell you what I think, although I wish someone was willing to clarify matters.”
Prerna heart raced anew. Part of her wanted to push him, while another part of her feared that his sense of loyalty to his supposed wife would continue to keep them apart even were he to know the truth. She visibly swallowed but remained where she was as he continued.
“I think I only agreed to get married because your mother was already married to someone else. Because I know I don’t love Sonalika,at least not in the same way I love your mother. I like to be close to your mother, she’s the only woman I feel really comfortable with. I get agitated around other, because they always seem to want to force things. But with your mother I can just be. There’s this calmness that surrounds me whenever she’s close to me, and I know she’s safe. You know, you’re a lot like her, your mother I mean.”
Anurag looked at the little girl, his heart seemed to swell as her gaze remained intently fixed on him.
Prerna swallowed at the lump in her throat. She knew she would have to interrupt them, even though she wanted Anurag to spend sometime with their daughter. There was no way of knowing when they would have the opportunity again. Also it was only a matter of time before Komolika and Mrs. Mohini came looking for him.
Downstairs Sonalika was scouting the rooms in search of Anurag. She would push Viraj now for a wedding date. All the rituals after the birth had been completed, and their suga raat could wait in her opinion. If she had to wait for Anurag, Viraj could wait for Prerna…
Once Prerna was out of the picture, Anurag would have no more excuses to ignore her. She would book them in somewhere nice and be certain to drive all thoughts of Prerna from his mind.
Shivani kept a close eye on Komolika’s actions. Anupam had forewarned her that Anurag was with Prerna and Sneha. Shivani dialled Anupam’s number and made as if she was moving away from everyone to speak to whoever was on the line.
“Sonalika is looking for Anurag,” She said the moment Anupam answered, “I’m going to sister to warn them.”
“I’ll see if I can distract her.” Anupam replied before ending the call.
In the room, Prerna stepped forward and said, “She’sa little cranky, I think her body is sore from all the handling.”
Instinctively Anurag pulled Sneha a little closer before turning around to face Prerna. His heart lodged in his throat, for he had no idea just how much she may have heard or how she would react to finding him there. Oddly, the fact that she could have overheard his conversation with Sneha did not distress him even the slightest, or at least not as much as a scolding from her for him being there would.
Prerna placed a number of things on her bedside table before turning to him again and gesturing for him to hand Sneha to her, “I have to feed and change her.”
Anurag’s eyes pled with Prerna to allow him to hold Sneha for just a little longer.
Everyone will start to look for you,” Prerna countered. She stepped closer and made to take Sneha from him and reluctantly he allowed her.
His arms felt empty the moment the little girl was removed from them. His heart called out for him to reclaim her, just as it would whenever Prerna moved away from him. He often had to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing her hand, to pull her back to him.
He was about to say something when Shivani appeared in the doorway, “Everyone is looking for you Anurag, you had better go.”
He turned to look a Prerna, his heart refusing to comply with what his head told him. He had to go, but would much rather stay. Reluctantly he nodded and then took his leave.
Bindi
Udne Ki Aasha
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
