Messed Up Family! - Page 5

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Please ... please Shreya! Here democracy was deceased long back,😕All the political parties are working with a selfish motive, they have their party agenda where there won't be any benefit for the people. The present scenario is like-- by the politicians, for the politicians, of the politicians only for their benefit. No, a strict no to express our opinion on any Govt program. It will be considered as Anti-national. Just these are the lines to show the tip of the turmoil! After reading this , please understand why I am pleading you. ---

This news item gained prominence in all national and regional language newspapers today!!

Mumbai taxi driver takes a poet to the police station for the phone call on protests!!!

https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/mumbai/poets-taxi-ride-ends-at-mumbai-police-station/article30756191.ece

_____

Definitely I will watch these videos you posted here.🤗 There is no freedom for a girl child.

That movie which I referred to showing the female infanticide is 'Lajja" one of the very good movies on women empowerment. You can see it on net.

Bold-- animal instinct is still prevalent in humans after all this so-called development in all aspects of our life. Man is becoming a predator, now they are trying to eliminate the shreds of evidence, in that process implementing cruel ways!😭

Surprisingly sinners are more spiritual now😲visiting temples after the crime as if God will cleanse his crime with a small offering! As someone mentioned in this thread, Arab countries like punishment is necessary to make them ...... to unfit them to do that crime again. It sounds cruel, but there must be a solution. Painful to think about this issue for two days, then just imagine, how horrendous those experiences to those innocent girls? Have to come back to the same solution, the mindset has to be changed.

Of course nowadays voilence is too much

But we cannot say stone age is better.

I was reading in BC condition of women in book, men would marry have 2-3 kids and go to another place. There again they marry another woman than have 2-3 kids go to another city for work etc. Like this so many city they had wives who were left alone to fend for themselves and kids without husband. And you know in BC women cannot get work like 21st century. Imagine wife and kids plight. Now atleast husband takes wife and kids responsibility and cannot abandon and go off easily. Court will not allow easily.

Only thing men are acting very badly with women in india(and asia). Thats because of their superior complex and patriarchal society bringing up.

Do not talk of arab world. You have no idea about Arab world atrocities on women despite strict laws. Read "Princess" series books you will know. Daughter and wife cannot breathe without father or husband permission in most of middle east. If they do law do not mind father and brother or husband killing girl. Laws may be strict for crimes outside home not inside.

Here no ones talking of domestic volience. How Mj treats antara and how he raise hand on Maya etc. If MJ had a daughter what would he do to her poor thing. Lucky he has none.

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Definitely I will watch these videos you posted here.🤗 There is no freedom for a girl child.

That movie which I referred to showing the female infanticide is 'Lajja" one of the very good movies on women empowerment. You can see it on net.

Bold-- animal instinct is still prevalent in humans after all this so-called development in all aspects of our life. Man is becoming a predator, now they are trying to eliminate the shreds of evidence, in that process implementing cruel ways!😭

Surprisingly sinners are more spiritual now😲visiting temples after the crime as if God will cleanse his crime with a small offering! As someone mentioned in this thread, Arab countries like punishment is necessary to make them ...... to unfit them to do that crime again. It sounds cruel, but there must be a solution. Painful to think about this issue for two days, then just imagine, how horrendous those experiences to those innocent girls? Have to come back to the same solution, the mindset has to be changed.

Okay no more talk on politics. Waise bhi I'm a mod, I should not break rules. If anyone else discussed politics I would be RCVing their posts. 😆

Oh Lajja. Another great film on women empowerment. You should watch Matrabhoomi as well. It is gut-wrenching, but a brilliant movie and an eye-opener. It's one of those critically acclaimed social movies.

Painful to think about this issue for two days, then just imagine, how horrendous those experiences to those innocent girls? Have to come back to the same solution, the mindset has to be changed.

I agree with you. And to think that this is all started because of something as simple as an EMA in a show. But sometimes the most intense discussions come out of the most innocent of moments.

The mindset can only change when we begin to change it. And I mean "we" in a general sense. You, me, everyone. Each of us has to do our part to change mindsets. And it doesn't have to be big things. Small things. Change your family's mindset. Like, in my case, my cousin had a daughter a few months ago (they have a 3-year-old son). And I realized that my family was going down the typical route in terms of gifts - pink, dolls, etc. for the girl and were going to get some cars and stuff for the boy. A small change - get her the cars as well. They laughed at me, but I told them that we can't just start discriminating at birth. Let her decide for herself. If she wants to play house and dress-up, it should be her choice after she gets to play with all the possible toys. It's a small change, but who knows. Maybe it'll catch on. Like Salman said in Jai Ho - help 3 people and tell them to pass it on. Maybe the same can happen here.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

I came to this thread after few days only to discover a very important topic is being talked about

First i want to take the issue of Nirbhaya case. Despite all laws still men are not getting scared to target women on roads. Why is that there? Thats because they have no fear of law. They have seen cases going on for 30-40 years, rapists getting bail and marrying. That man who killed Jesica lal got married while on bail and had kids. Can you believe it? But thats true. So how come a man doing such a henious crime is marrying and having kids. Who is that girl who has married such a man in first place? OK she must have no say in that marriage parents must have ordered her to marry. The whole truth is if you are rich and have power parents are ok if its a murderer or rapist they will marry their daughters off. Look at priyadarshini matto case again accused married after murder when he was on bail from jail. I cannot think any parent can marry their daughters to murderer and rapists. But that sadly happens. Everyone is seeing people are enjoying life after raping etc so why they will fear law.

That reminds me of a story i was reading in some book on justice. Emperor Jehangir was once appointed governor of a place that was notorious for rapes and murders etc. That time he was a prince not emperor. One day a 13-14 year old girl was getting water for her house(shes married) and a rich brat son whose notorious in town kidnapped her on way and than raped her. Next day he leaves her she goes to husband house, they refuse to take her in. By than all know shes carried off by that rich mans son(his father is courtier or something in court). She goes to parents house parents shut door on her face. She goes to well to die but is scared shes small 13 years just married few months back. She decides to go to that local durbar and complaint to governor(prince salim). Soldiers do not allow inside so she sits full day and night outside. Next day Prince Salim going out in early morningto swim in nearby river, she runs to him although soldiers do not allow she shouts and luckily he hears. She goes and tells him what happened and to give her justice. Prince Salim gets her to court and soldiers get that courtiers son to court. Prince Salim declares that man should be flayed alive in center of city and all should watch it in public. Courtier protests saying i am mughal, i have been in service of Akbar for long etc but Salim does not listen. That year no one rapes in that city and province because the story spreads like wild fire and all scared to touch women after that. I think this kind of punishment exemplary that scares wits out of future criminals must be provided that too even if the ppl are rich and powerful. That will send a message.

Second reason is the way men are brought up in family. Right from birth there is a difference in how boys are brought up than girls. Boys can be out with friends till late night but girls have to return by 9pm home. Even hostels and PGs have that rule for girls usually. Why is that there?

There are so many issues one ost or thread cannot resolve this issue. Cities are changing, some families are giving importance to daughters education like a sons. Of course that depends on affaordability. If a parent can afford one persons education its usually the sons and not daughters that they spend lakhs and crores on. Thats of course changing in cities but still very low percentage. It may take centuries to change that mindset. It will not happen in 10 years or even 30 years from now. Also south india is more liberal and treats daughters better than a west or north india. There are lots of difference in ways girls are treated in diff parts of india only. Like in north you cannot go out alone after 7pm and wear very short dress and roam around alone or girls will be in trouble. But in many parts of south india girls go out alone wearing short dresses even at 9pm and no one shall misbehave with them.

I read recently in dubai(UAE) , the king had to stay with a young girl alone on road waiting for her dad for her safety. First its great a king is so bothered about his citizen a kid. That will never happen in india, there will be accident and representatives will pass by in their cars. Second dubai has very strict laws but a kid is unsafe on roads alone. All this will need mindset change. It will require centuries to change.

@ Bold: This is so important. If anything, laws have to become stricter and enforced faster. Just adding a new law is not enough. It needs to be enforced. Nirbhaya rapists are supposed to be hanged, but their hanging just keeps getting delayed. What message does that give?

@ Red: This. And only if we start forcing changes, will changes happen. (See my reply to Madhuri for more.)

@ Blue: Yet it's discussions like these that precipitate change. Today, we discussed it. Tomorrow, someone reading this thread might try to change their mindset or change the mindset of others around them. Things only change when you start talking about them. Isn't that how so many technological innovations came to be? Someone started talking about it. If it can apply to technology, then why not mindsets?

@ Green: The thing with the Middle East is that they have a lot of restrictions on women, but they also have very strict laws and the people there are very mindful of the laws. Because the laws are upheld. We could all learn a thing or two from their laws and court system. They have strict laws that are upheld in a timely manner. It puts fear in people.

Originally posted by: Minionite

Okay no more talk on politics. Waise bhi I'm a mod, I should not break rules. If anyone else discussed politics I would be RCVing their posts. 😆

Oh Lajja. Another great film on women empowerment. You should watch Matrabhoomi as well. It is gut-wrenching, but a brilliant movie and an eye-opener. It's one of those critically acclaimed social movies.

Painful to think about this issue for two days, then just imagine, how horrendous those experiences to those innocent girls? Have to come back to the same solution, the mindset has to be changed.

I agree with you. And to think that this is all started because of something as simple as an EMA in a show. But sometimes the most intense discussions come out of the most innocent of moments.

The mindset can only change when we begin to change it. And I mean "we" in a general sense. You, me, everyone. Each of us has to do our part to change mindsets. And it doesn't have to be big things. Small things. Change your family's mindset. Like, in my case, my cousin had a daughter a few months ago (they have a 3-year-old son). And I realized that my family was going down the typical route in terms of gifts - pink, dolls, etc. for the girl and were going to get some cars and stuff for the boy. A small change - get her the cars as well. They laughed at me, but I told them that we can't just start discriminating at birth. Let her decide for herself. If she wants to play house and dress-up, it should be her choice after she gets to play with all the possible toys. It's a small change, but who knows. Maybe it'll catch on. Like Salman said in Jai Ho - help 3 people and tell them to pass it on. Maybe the same can happen here.

Since you brought up family mindset, I have a personal tale to share as well. A few years after I joined the workforce as a software developer, I was looking for another job. One of my uncles is a recruiter in an IT firm so I asked him about the skills that were in demand at the time. He straight up told me that I shouldn't worry about skills and job and just stick to my current company because "in the end, you'll end up married and will only be taking care of your husband." This started a conversation around the table between old aunties about how girls shouldn't think much about careers and just focus on getting ready for household duties. What's frustrating is that the women should have taken a stand for the girls but instead they agreed with the a** hole uncle. These people have been living in US for years but the mentality that they brought with them is still from the stone age. For them, women are nothing more than cooks and maids.

Fortunately, my parents have made sure that both my sister and I have our individual lives and careers to be financially independent so that even when we get married, we can be equal partners to our husbands. And that's what I will pass on to my children some day.

Originally posted by: Mitsu91

Since you brought up family mindset, I have a personal tale to share as well. A few years after I joined the workforce as a software developer, I was looking for another job. One of my uncles is a recruiter in an IT firm so I asked him about the skills that were in demand at the time. He straight up told me that I shouldn't worry about skills and job and just stick to my current company because "in the end, you'll end up married and will only be taking care of your husband." This started a conversation around the table between old aunties about how girls shouldn't think much about careers and just focus on getting ready for household duties. What's frustrating is that the women should have taken a stand for the girls but instead they agreed with the a** hole uncle. These people have been living in US for years but the mentality that they brought with them is still from the stone age. For them, women are nothing more than cooks and maids.

Fortunately, my parents have made sure that both my sister and I have our individual lives and careers to be financially independent so that even when we get married, we can be equal partners to our husbands. And that's what I will pass on to my children some day.

Thank you Mitsu for sharing that tale. It is true of many families, mine included. And I'm grateful to parents like yours and mine who have changed their mindset and are about pushing women ahead, not holding them back.

I'm actually somewhat surprised that you didn't hear something like "what are you doing in software development, that's a man's job".

Originally posted by: Minionite

Thank you Mitsu for sharing that tale. It is true of many families, mine included. And I'm grateful to parents like yours and mine who have changed their mindset and are about pushing women ahead, not holding them back.

I'm actually somewhat surprised that you didn't hear something like "what are you doing in software development, that's a man's job".

Oh I absolutely did! When it was time for me to choose my major in college, I always knew that I was gonna end up in IT as I was a natural at programming. When one of those aunties asked what I was going to choose and I told her, she was like "IT is a men's field. You girls need to do nursing or pharmacy with flexible timing so you can look after your homes." Luckily, I am stubborn to core and only do what I want to do. 😃

Originally posted by: Mitsu91

Oh I absolutely did! When it was time for me to choose my major in college, I always knew that I was gonna end up in IT as I was a natural at programming. When one of those aunties asked what I was going to choose and I told her, she was like "IT is a men's field. You girls need to do nursing or pharmacy with flexible timing so you can look after your homes." Luckily, I am stubborn to core and only do what I want to do.

Lol good. You should be stubborn.

Waise incidentally, I'm the first woman from my entire family to go into finance and no less than commercial real estate financing. It was a haww moment in my family as well. My mamajis still comment on it sometimes when I go back to India. Last time I told my mom, "I'm not going back if they're going to mock me for my choices and my weight".

Originally posted by: Mitsu91

Okay so, some seriously messed up facts about the older Roys came out today!

Regardless of whether MJ was having an affair with Maya/Manvi or he sexually assaulted her, his wife has been OK with his actions all this time and still loves him?

The fact that the entire family knows about Maya means that they all conspired to destroy that poor girl's life. Are they ALL criminals and have no conscience what-so-ever?

What kind of freaks are they?!

@bold 🤢

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Of course nowadays voilence is too much

They are inventing innovative ways to snub the women at the workplace, at home, and in society at large.

But we cannot say stone age is better.

I was reading in BC condition of women in book, men would marry have 2-3 kids and go to another place. There again they marry another woman than have 2-3 kids go to another city for work etc. Like this so many city they had wives who were left alone to fend for themselves and kids without husband. And you know in BC women cannot get work like 21st century. Imagine wife and kids plight. Now atleast husband takes wife and kids responsibility and cannot abandon and go off easily. Court will not allow easily.

Agree. Stone age life wasn't better. But at that time, there weren't any societal restrictions, no narrowmindedness to say, 'I am male, I can do anything, but you have no freedom, you are a slave to me, to my family and to the society' If a man leaves his ' possessions' behind in search of food and comfort, in the same way, a woman too used to adjust with the same routine. Equal participation in all responsibilities, though no binding to rules or bonding with life!

Only thing men are acting very badly with women in india(and asia). Thats because of their superior complex and patriarchal society bringing up.

Gender inequality and gender discrimination are prevalent here, mostly in favour of men in many realms including the family and workplace. Discrimination affects many aspects of the lives of women from education, career development and progress to mental health disorders to the extent of her day to day life. While Indian laws on rape, dowry and adultery have women's safety at heart, these highly discriminatory practices in the society are still taking place at an alarming rate, affecting the lives of many today! Treating a son as prince and daughter as a burden, that is the main cause of the female foeticide and female infanticide.

Do not talk of Arab world. You have no idea about Arab world atrocities on women despite strict laws. Read "Princess" series books you will know. Daughter and wife cannot breathe without father or husband permission in most of middle east. If they do law do not mind father and brother or husband killing girl. Laws may be strict for crimes outside home not inside.

In rural India, the position is the same esp in North India. Equality rules are not correctly implemented there! Southside the scene will be different, but everywhere, irrespective of country, creed, class and caste and education, the position of a woman is the same.

Here no ones talking of domestic volience. How Mj treats antara and how he raise hand on Maya etc. If MJ had a daughter what would he do to her poor thing. Lucky he has none.

This is the right question for which everyone has to seek an answer Myviewprem!

Domestic violence is atrociously rising in every place. This serial is replicating that aspect through MJ character, the aggressive nature from the male of the family. While reading your words, for a minute, I was slipped into my thoughts, imagined him crying uncontrollably while sending her to her husband's house ! Very true, if MJ has a daughter, he will think twice before touching a girl inappropriately! He will feel guilty prior to that heinous crime, killing the fetus by hitting Maya's stomach in such a cruel way! In fact, a daughter is not a burden, a textbook to a father to learn how to behave with other women, in a cultured way, in a proper way !

Feeling happy to interact with you because of this discussion🤗, many thanks to the thread maker and Shreya.🤗🤗

Originally posted by: Minionite

Okay no more talk on politics. Waise bhi I'm a mod, I should not break rules. If anyone else discussed politics I would be RCVing their posts. 😆

Oh Lajja. Another great film on women empowerment. You should watch Matrabhoomi as well. It is gut-wrenching, but a brilliant movie and an eye-opener. It's one of those critically acclaimed social movies.

Painful to think about this issue for two days, then just imagine, how horrendous those experiences to those innocent girls? Have to come back to the same solution, the mindset has to be changed.

I agree with you. And to think that this is all started because of something as simple as an EMA in a show. But sometimes the most intense discussions come out of the most innocent of moments.

The mindset can only change when we begin to change it. And I mean "we" in a general sense. You, me, everyone. Each of us has to do our part to change mindsets. And it doesn't have to be big things. Small things. Change your family's mindset. Like, in my case, my cousin had a daughter a few months ago (they have a 3-year-old son). And I realized that my family was going down the typical route in terms of gifts - pink, dolls, etc. for the girl and were going to get some cars and stuff for the boy. A small change - get her the cars as well. They laughed at me, but I told them that we can't just start discriminating at birth. Let her decide for herself. If she wants to play house and dress-up, it should be her choice after she gets to play with all the possible toys. It's a small change, but who knows. Maybe it'll catch on. Like Salman said in Jai Ho - help 3 people and tell them to pass it on. Maybe the same can happen here.

Coming back to Kalki the bride to father and his five sons and later meted a cruel punishment, raped by the other caste men in that Bihar village! The claim and the consequent quarrel between the different men for the paternity rights over her yet to be born baby, speaks volumes. It shows the odious position of the future society if they curtail the birth and growth of a baby girl now ! A strong message was given in such a way that with a thunderous slap on the face of these gender-biased people, later showing the mirror to these culprits with a teasing smile! Unfortunately, here the culprit is our rigid and retrograde culture! Still haunting me, blood-curdling and dreadful scenes. Thanks, Shreya for this info regarding this mindblowing movie. I wasn't aware of this, not even heard about it till now.

Red@ Very true. A starting point now transformed itself as a meaningful discussion platform with so many solutions.

We have to imbibe good cultural values into our kids' minds. A few years ago my mother actually pointed out that loving a child means wanting what's best for him/her for the long-term, not only for the kid but also for others, show them how to adjust, how to be confident, how to question and how to co-exist with others for the benefit of all. A mother/ woman is the first teacher of this mankind. I really admire your viewpoints and the cute way you implemented those while gifting your cousin's baby.🤗