Messed Up Family! - Page 6

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

This is the right question for which everyone has to seek an answer Myviewprem!

Domestic violence is atrociously rising in every place. This serial is replicating that aspect through MJ character, the aggressive nature from the male of the family. While reading your words, for a minute, I was slipped into my thoughts, imagined him crying uncontrollably while sending her to her husband's house ! Very true, if MJ has a daughter, he will think twice before touching a girl inappropriately! He will feel guilty prior to that heinous crime, killing the fetus by hitting Maya's stomach in such a cruel way! In fact, a daughter is not a burden, a textbook to a father to learn how to behave with other women, in a cultured way, in a proper way !

Feeling happy to interact with you because of this discussion🤗, many thanks to the thread maker and Shreya.🤗🤗

MJ is a very possessive and controlling father

If he had a daughter and she fell in love imagine what he would do to that daughter

The daughter would have it as worst as Maya if not more

Its wrong to assume that a man has daughter so he gets empathy towards girls

Its also wrong to assume a man has sister so he will not rape a woman or hit a woman etc

indeed its opposite usually

I have seen men who have daughter or sisters misbehaving terribly with woman both at home and outside

I am taking a famous ex. Look at Salman Khan he has two sisters how he abused all his girl friends hit aishwarya black and blue, hit katrina at party and hotel, shot at somy ali etc. All these women are rich, powerful yet none dared file cases against him. Why? Because they will lose work and second police will laugh if they say file a case Salman hit me. System will take matter very lightly. Look at akshay kumar he has sister how many actress he dated and lied and left like raveena, shilpa, pooja batra, priyanka etc Look at any bollywood actor majority have sisters but have misbehaved or cheated girl friends.

So its very wrong to assume that a man will treat woman nicely because he has daughter and sister at home. Opposite is very true in asia, if you have sister you grow up having more privileges over your sister. Like parents will buy you everything but for sister usually budget is low(although they may be super rich), brother can go play in streets with friends after school, but sister have to learn house work and help mother. Brother can study any subject of his choice daughters have to take safe course or course that has least fees(because anyway she will marry and work for husband family not for parents). why spend money on her? Son will be sent to picnics in school, college not daughters usually. So boys grow up seeing all this, they start implementing this on their daughters later.

IF MJ had a daughter shes doomed, because MJ will have tight leash on her. She will have a tough life. I would say thank God he has only sons, if its daughter she would be brutally crushed by MJ and his egos.

Best part is MJ has a sister, so he should have learned to respect women. But see how he treats antara or maya etc. Only diya is treated ok may be because she helps him to hide his crimes.

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Just now finished watching the film Matrubhumi Shreya.😭Though Kalki's character is analogous to Draupadi, Draupadi was and is revered, adored and worshipped by all not because of her beauty, but because of her inner strength and dignity, which she maintained in all situations, with which she waded through difficult times in her married life--

Coming back to Kalki the bride to father and his five sons and later meted a cruel punishment, raped by the other caste men in that Bihar village! The claim and the consequent quarrel between the different men for the paternity rights over her yet to be born baby, speaks volumes. It shows the odious position of the future society if they curtail the birth and growth of a baby girl now ! A strong message was given in such a way that with a thunderous slap on the face of these gender-biased people, later showing the mirror to these culprits with a teasing smile! Unfortunately, here the culprit is our rigid and retrograde culture! Still haunting me, blood-curdling and dreadful scenes. Thanks, Shreya for this info regarding this mindblowing movie. I wasn't aware of this, not even heard about it till now.

Red@ Very true. A starting point now transformed itself as a meaningful discussion platform with so many solutions.

We have to imbibe good cultural values into our kids' minds. A few years ago my mother actually pointed out that loving a child means wanting what's best for him/her for the long-term, not only for the kid but also for others, show them how to adjust, how to be confident, how to question and how to co-exist with others for the benefit of all. A mother/ woman is the first teacher of this mankind. I really admire your viewpoints and the cute way you implemented those while gifting your cousin's baby.🤗

Yes. Matrabhoomi gave me sleepless nights when I first watched it. There are many such movies I could give you that are thought-provoking, haunting, and the truth of our society.

@ Red: Wow good point by your mother. That is so true!

Originally posted by: Minionite

Yes. Matrabhoomi gave me sleepless nights when I first watched it. There are many such movies I could give you that are thought-provoking, haunting, and the truth of our society.

@ Red: Wow good point by your mother. That is so true!

Thank you for the compliment🤗.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

MJ is a very possessive and controlling father

If he had a daughter and she fell in love imagine what he would do to that daughter

The daughter would have it as worst as Maya if not more

Its wrong to assume that a man has daughter so he gets empathy towards girls

Its also wrong to assume a man has sister so he will not rape a woman or hit a woman etc

indeed its opposite usually

I have seen men who have daughter or sisters misbehaving terribly with woman both at home and outside

I am taking a famous ex. Look at Salman Khan he has two sisters how he abused all his girl friends hit aishwarya black and blue, hit katrina at party and hotel, shot at somy ali etc. All these women are rich, powerful yet none dared file cases against him. Why? Because they will lose work and second police will laugh if they say file a case Salman hit me. System will take matter very lightly. Look at akshay kumar he has sister how many actress he dated and lied and left like raveena, shilpa, pooja batra, priyanka etc Look at any bollywood actor majority have sisters but have misbehaved or cheated girl friends.

So its very wrong to assume that a man will treat woman nicely because he has daughter and sister at home. Opposite is very true in asia, if you have sister you grow up having more privileges over your sister. Like parents will buy you everything but for sister usually budget is low(although they may be super rich), brother can go play in streets with friends after school, but sister have to learn house work and help mother. Brother can study any subject of his choice daughters have to take safe course or course that has least fees(because anyway she will marry and work for husband family not for parents). why spend money on her? Son will be sent to picnics in school, college not daughters usually. So boys grow up seeing all this, they start implementing this on their daughters later.

IF MJ had a daughter shes doomed, because MJ will have tight leash on her. She will have a tough life. I would say thank God he has only sons, if its daughter she would be brutally crushed by MJ and his egos.

Best part is MJ has a sister, so he should have learned to respect women. But see how he treats antara or maya etc. Only diya is treated ok may be because she helps him to hide his crimes.

Now .... now, however, the present-day girls refuse to get abused and decide to fight for their rights. That is the first step for the women empowerment.

I presented the other side of the coin, an ideal scenario with some facts, the presence of a girl in the house made the males a bit more understanding regarding the hardships of a girl, systematize their thought process regarding the gender-based age-old false notions, will be a bit empathetic towards his sister/ daughter. If they treat a girl differently, she is questioning, fighting for her rightful right now, making the decision-maker of the family to realise that point if there is any disparity in any home. Surprisingly and painfully the factual fallacy here is, in most cases, the father/ brother feels like he is the caretaker of her, considers her as his/ the family's honour!! That rigid possessiveness making them criminals in some parts of the country, and in some other nations. Now many families are making it a point that they will treat their children in the same manner, giving due importance irrespective of their gender. Now a girl is not a docile follower of orders in many households, demanding for her rights, she is automatically getting the equal opportunities in education, in selecting her life partner etc in many parts.

Have you seen that photo printed in TOI in which, Mukesh Ambani hugging his daughter as if he missed her since centuries, so endearing picture it was, at that minute he was looked like a doting father, nothing else, the corporate world with admiration looked at him at that moment!

Regarding Salman Khan and his weird ways of abusing his heroines,it is mainly because of the vulgar level of hero-worship and it's stupid influences on one's psyche in India! Now the 'Me Too' movement exposed many abusers in the film industry, and now they are facing the antagonistic from the industry and society.

Does Mj have a sister? I missed this point!

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Eager to know about the other movies, if you have time enough to share, please.😊

Thank you for the compliment🤗.

Absolutely. I'll give you the names without revealing anything about them because some of them, even if I say one sentence, it'll tell you everything you need to know.

Undertrial, A Wednesday, OMG! Oh My God, 3 Deewarein, Udaan, Water, The Lunchbox, No Smoking, Being Cyrus, Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi, Masaan, Khosla Ka Ghosla, Shahid, Margarita with a Straw, Ugly, Astitva, My Brother Nikhil, Mr. and Mrs. Iyer, Black Friday, Shaurya

Some of these movie may be a bit cheesy, but they all have good messages in them and a few gave me sleepless nights because of the message they conveyed.

Originally posted by: Minionite

Absolutely. I'll give you the names without revealing anything about them because some of them, even if I say one sentence, it'll tell you everything you need to know.

Undertrial, A Wednesday, OMG! Oh My God, 3 Deewarein, Udaan, Water, The Lunchbox, No Smoking, Being Cyrus, Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi, Masaan, Khosla Ka Ghosla, Shahid, Margarita with a Straw, Ugly, Astitva, My Brother Nikhil, Mr. and Mrs. Iyer, Black Friday, Shaurya

Some of these movie may be a bit cheesy, but they all have good messages in them and a few gave me sleepless nights because of the message they conveyed.

For eg. this Beyhadh2 storyline, it is not a simple revenge story! It is a woman's thunderously deafening silent wail for the atrocities she faced in a male-dominated office place a long time back! For that, she came back as a measure for measure! Here the slayer is not a sinner, there was so much inner turmoil in her for committing all the crimes there, she is feeling guilty for her sins, but the hurt and pain are more than the wisdom which warns her all the time. Inherently she is godfearing, caretaking good human, but her loss is not allowing her to be humane, a conflict between good and bad, waiting to see which Maya will win over the other! Marrying her ex's son gives a kneejerk reaction from the viewers.

Noted the list and will watch the movies at leisure Shreya. Thanks for this gesture once again.🤗

Have you seen Satyajit Ray's Pather Panchali -- moves at a slow pace but leaves a great impact on the minds of viewers, and Pinjara, V Santharam's movie a conflict between Morals and lust/desire! I have seen these two movies when our regional film association screened these two movies while starting the celebrations of 100 years of Indian cinema in 2013. I was preg with my first child, sat between my father and mother watched these two , stored in my memories' treasure trove.😊

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Agree with your every point Myviewprem.🤗 You presented all the facts and findings of the other side of the coin with a precise perspective. Very true, many of these criminals and women abusers have sisters and daughters at home. And most importantly , considering the daughter as the honour of the family by our culture, to protect, to safeguard that honour, they never think twice before tyrannizing the girls at home, they thought that suppressing, oppressing and subdue the daughter is a part of their culture???!!! Very unfortunate beliefs.

Now .... now, however, the present-day girls refuse to get abused and decide to fight for their rights. That is the first step for the women empowerment.

I presented the other side of the coin, an ideal scenario with some facts, the presence of a girl in the house made the males a bit more understanding regarding the hardships of a girl, systematize their thought process regarding the gender-based age-old false notions, will be a bit empathetic towards his sister/ daughter. If they treat a girl differently, she is questioning, fighting for her rightful right now, making the decision-maker of the family to realise that point if there is any disparity in any home. Surprisingly and painfully the factual fallacy here is, in most cases, the father/ brother feels like he is the caretaker of her, considers her as his/ the family's honour!! That rigid possessiveness making them criminals in some parts of the country, and in some other nations. Now many families are making it a point that they will treat their children in the same manner, giving due importance irrespective of their gender. Now a girl is not a docile follower of orders in many households, demanding for her rights, she is automatically getting the equal opportunities in education, in selecting her life partner etc in many parts.

I agree that after 2000s the world is changing. Many girls are studying equally as brothers. But still in smaller cities and villages that is not case. Only few parents treat girls as equal to son. Now only 22% girls who have education above XII Std are working. Rest 78% are still sitting at home. The number of women going to work is drastically reducing in india as per UNO report. Its less than Pakistan, bangladesh etc neighbouring countries. But in 1990s till 2010 may be 30-40 % women in india who were educated went for a job. Now thats reducing. So that only means society becoming more conservative than 1990s. So girls may be getting more educated by employers not ready to take them in job. Without economical independece its tough to act independent. Have you ever thought why nirbhaya or priyanka reddy was raped? Because somewhere lower class uneducated men are also jealous of women earning more than them or becoming independent too. Also men feel women who are out after certain time say 9pm or 8pm are to be taught a lesson. Thats why women are being targeted again and again despite laws and media fear. That apart as men migrate from village and lower towns to big cities its cultural shock for them to see independent women who travel alone, work and pay for themselves. Its not easy for them to accept that girls can be like that as back in their towns and villages girls have no freedom no independence. Thats why they attack inndependent women in cities. Also i read a report that now more than sons daughter's is taking care of parents(especially punjab etc) economic responsibility. So the responsibility is increasing but economic opportunity is reducing socially.

Have you seen that photo printed in TOI in which, Mukesh Ambani hugging his daughter as if he missed her since centuries, so endearing picture it was, at that minute he was looked like a doting father, nothing else, the corporate world with admiration looked at him at that moment!

Regarding Salman Khan and his weird ways of abusing his heroines,it is mainly because of the vulgar level of hero-worship and it's stupid influences on one's psyche in India! Now the 'Me Too' movement exposed many abusers in the film industry, and now they are facing the antagonistic from the industry and society.

Salman Khan has a olden time mentality, that of a girl friend should follow his orders. Like type of dress she can wear or which film she can do or which actor she should work with. If she does not listen he gets voilent the patriachial mindset. Me too movement no use, law enforcers themselves think women are inferior. So justice will not come. Hero worship is there in all spheres movies, business, politics, cricket. What about cricketers who behave so badly are hero worshipped? Or businessmen who involve in all corrupt practices hailed as great ppl. Look at bollywood all great heros do not want their sisters, daughters in movies be it sanjay dutt, amitabh bachchan, kapoors to did not want(only babita revolted all other kapoor girls not allowed) etc why? because they know how risky or bad me too is in their industry so they want their sisters, daughters not to be exposed. But same men can go around having multiple affairs with heroines.

Does Mj have a sister? I missed this point!

Yes his mother went to his sister in london, younger sister married in london

Originally posted by: Viswasruti

Thank you for the list.🤗 A few I have seen earlier Shreya. A Wednesday, OMG--Oh My God, HKA, Mr&Mrs Iyer, all these got rave critical appraisals from the cine lovers and critics. Some level of expounded sectarian violence in them, which was wrapped in an adventure angle! As you rightly mentioned, some are cheesy but in every movie, there is a message which teases you with a multidimensional display of human strengths and weaknesses in a particular situation, which surprises you, stirred you up from the core.

For eg. this Beyhadh2 storyline, it is not a simple revenge story! It is a woman's thunderously deafening silent wail for the atrocities she faced in a male-dominated office place a long time back! For that, she came back as a measure for measure! Here the slayer is not a sinner, there was so much inner turmoil in her for committing all the crimes there, she is feeling guilty for her sins, but the hurt and pain are more than the wisdom which warns her all the time. Inherently she is godfearing, caretaking good human, but her loss is not allowing her to be humane, a conflict between good and bad, waiting to see which Maya will win over the other! Marrying her ex's son gives a kneejerk reaction from the viewers.

Noted the list and will watch the movies at leisure Shreya. Thanks for this gesture once again.🤗

Have you seen Satyajit Ray's Pather Panchali -- moves at a slow pace but leaves a great impact on the minds of viewers, and Pinjara, V Santharam's movie a conflict between Morals and lust/desire! I have seen these two movies when our regional film association screened these two movies while starting the celebrations of 100 years of Indian cinema in 2013. I was preg with my first child, sat between my father and mother watched these two , stored in my memories' treasure trove.😊

Yes! And that's the whole point of the story. Yes I'm not happy that it turned out to be a typical EMA, but they haven't reduced the story to a typical kitchen politics either. They aren't whitewashing Maya either. She knows she was wrong. And she knows what she is doing is wrong. But she has been abused and used and now she is out to set an example that she isn't just a meek woman who will be silenced by a rich, arrogant, powerful man. If #metoo won't work, she will find her own way to get her revenge.

I haven't watched these two. I'll find them and see if I can find either a Hindi version or one with English subtitles.

There are many brilliant movies out there in so many cultures. I was volunteering at TIFF last year and during that I got a chance to watch this brilliant movie from Saudi Arabia - The Perfect Candidate. It not only shows the conflicts of a woman running for politics, but the cultural and country aspects well. I look forward to TIFF this year and my aim will be to take shifts during women-centric movies so I can get a chance to watch other such films.

Originally posted by: Minionite

Mitsu91 while there are a lot more stricter policies in place in countries like the US, are they really effective? I work in the corporate world in Canada and there are policies here. Probably as strict as the US. But when I first entered the corporate world I was shocked at the type of behaviour that is given a pass.

My first corporate job ever, two of my male colleagues would joke over my head about their conquests for the night. Seriously?!! One of them made many sly remarks about how fat girls are more fun (and I'm overweight so I get the hint). But it would be brushed under the rug because it was just dirty talk. Just dirty talk. And I was a co-op student so I had no qualms reporting it to my co-op office. You know what they told me? You have to get used to it. Men will say that. And we need that company to return. There's a reason I don't speak highly of my undergrad university. Just because it was a MNC, I was supposed to let it be because it brought reputation to the university. My manager was actually way more helpful. She told the two men off and (I think) threatened that she would report it to HR if it continued. She became a good friend after that incident. Nonetheless that company never returned to the university because my manager said that she didn't like the quality of students at that university. My point though is that such matters are brushed under the rug because it doesn't really fall into "sexual harassment" or "use of power" or any of those other buckets.

Of course, not every company is like that and depending on the company you are in sometimes it is just fun dirty talk. Like in my second company, it was more of actual jokes over stupid things like olives and sticks.

Anyways, I digress. My point being that even with stricter laws, how likely is it that such things won't happen? These men control companies still. Women are added to boards and C-suite positions many times to bring "diversity" to the table. And if a woman is outspoken, liberal, aggressive, and has a mind of her own, she is either termed as bitchy or manly and laughed about. If it's a woman just entering the workforce, she can easily be fired. Heck I was because I back answered my boss all the time. And there are no rules or laws in place from stopping that because such managers will find a way to make it appear as a "with cause firing".

Laws are not the only thing that have to change. Mindsets have to change. Companies have to change. People have to change. Cultures have to change.

The #metoo movement was exactly that. It was to bring to light what has often been brushed under the rug as being fine is actually not fine. The problem is that in India it became a joke quickly because no one was really punished. Everyone was just investigated for a year or two and then let off scott-free due to "lack of evidence".

And that brings us back around to this show. It actually couldn't have come at a better time. While the family is messed-up, it brings to light exactly what is often brushed under the rug or how these men will often take advantage of vulnerable girls. It starts the conversation. Heck we're having the conversation.

Beyhadh 2 may be unconventional and have many pain points for people in general, but it does get a very important conversation going. Kudos to the CVs for that.

Thanks for sharing your life experience, Shreya! 🤗