JOKES!!!!

• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

• When in life, you wake up and you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

• A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.

• During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

• The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."
"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."