Not father but we Love eachother - Page 7

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Haha thank you, Jean :)

@bold: Exactly....you know, it's kinda funny....sometimes we say things in hurt where we are subconsciously testing a hypothesis....our worst fears.....that is what HS did in that moment when he told her she hasn't accepted him as her father....he WANTED her to deny it...he wanted her to forcefully correct him and with HAQ question him ki how could he ever even think that she didn't accept him as her father? Did he not understand what she feels for him?

The very fact that she didn't say anything....not the "No" he wanted to hear nor anything otherwise to correct that statement or assure him....it really cut him deep. He isn't admitting just how deep.

That scene actually hits home just how fragile this bond actually was....there is immense love but also immense vulnerability between them.....that moment tested that vulnerability and exposed the fragility of their bond.....it's a very delicate thread that needs more nurturing to strengthen.

I feel so bad for both of them....I can understand why he wanted that assurance from Mini in that moment...but at the same time, she's just a kid and she was reeling from a big shock herself in that moment....so to hold that against her is not fair.....they both actually want to give each other that assurance....but now they just don't know how. Sigh.

Yes, the vulnerability was there. He was reminding her how she'd hugged him and given him confidence, told him he was the best, etc. and she tried to assure everyone that he was saying all that in anger.

It really did cut him deep, it broke something in him. I saw that look in his eyes when he talked to Lala, as if he was resigned to be unwanted in her life. So sad.

He wanted her to deny it indeed. The way he kept, bol de chhori, bol de. He didn't even look at her again during the entire wedding, it was all there to see. She on the other hand felt adrift, not knowing what to do, kept brushing it aside as though it were just his outburst in anger. True, no one could expect her to say anything in that frame of mind, especially since she also felt guilty for in some way ruining her mother's wedding. What HS also wanted to see was, would she stand up for him too the way she always stood up for Babita, acknowledge how hurt he would by seeing that CD?

And being called sautela baap did not help at all. It just made everything he did seem worthless and put all those doubts in his head that he was lost. Just like during the amrit manthan dialogue with Lala, where he said a part of him had died, I believe a part of him also died during the CD fiasco and its aftermath. When Babita was about to leave the haveli, the way HS felt about losing Minnie was just so obvious, yet he never felt he could apply that haq on her to stop her or ask her for something. He thought the wedding would finally give him that but the CD incident made him feel that even an official wedding was nothing. He knows quite well that you can't force relationships on people. I just wish he wouldn't take that as a defeat and try to put the pieces together again, bring Minnie back into the fold once again.

All in all, I think too many issues happened at the same time not just during the wedding period but also the accumulated stress of all that these three have dealt with in just a few months, it was too much for them to bear. I hope they can help each other heal, they both deserve a second chance.

Originally posted by: naq5

that is because mini had to take decisions for herself and for her mother too always. So suddenly one cannot show authoritarian behavior with such a child. Such children with a own mind of themselves need to be handled differently with reasoning than just told what to do.

Not authoritarian, but authority. She respected HS' authority from day one, and still does, because he has credibility with her. Babita doesn't, so disciplining Minnie in Babita's way is not gonna work.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Babita is a handful. Just like Minnie spent a lot of her young life putting Babita's emotional needs first, I can see HS doing exactly the same. LOL!

@bold this is exactly what NB was saying

He's already doing it 😆.....I'd thought at one time that HS-Mini would bond over the shared experience of tackling Babita since Mini has all these years of knowledge to pass on to him.....lol but it has instead turned into a territorial thing....he wants to handle Babita's emotional needs in his own way and Mini's backing off thinking he probably doesn't want to listen to her advice on Babita matters now anyways😆

NB bas say hi karti rahengi ya kabhi solution bhi dengi about tackling Babita? 🤔😆

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes, they are making a chewing gum. She has every right to feel upset if she wants to but I think the lack of focus on others is making this hard on us.

They need to talk to each other properly about this CD incident, then move on from it. Kab tak chalega yo sab?

Wait, I don't get how Mini's feelings from the Kammo incident and CD incident are being totally discounted😕

Are we really going to say now that a child being told she's just a reminder of the past her mother wants to forget means nothing? 😕.....is this really how we approach a child's feelings?

I don't get why HS and Babita's hurt can only be "justified" at the cost of invalidating that of Mini's😕.....yeh koi competition chal raha hai yahaan pe? And that too I'm amazed that people don't get that you can't apply the same parameters to a child's hurt and that of an adult's....a child's hurt will ALWAYS take precedence.....children are always the most vulnerable.....to actually do tol mol with their hurt is really sad.

One would think that the with the benefit of life experiences, the adults in the situation would realize that the child has a lot to learn and protect the child from hurt and trauma before getting bogged down in their own trauma....isn't that a basic expectation from being an "adult"? Otherwise what's the difference between an adult and a child? Are people literally going to measure them both with the same yardstick now? 🤔

The writers are the ones dragging the story out.....and as far as I can see, sabka hurt dikhaate hain....they show plenty of Babita's hurt as she sits and stews in self-pity as well.....HS ka hurt bhi dikhaate hain....what they don't show is HS introspecting about his actions these days. Mini's hurt lies in the center cuz she will always lie in the center as the child in this family.

One can't simply "move on" from the CD incident without the ADULTS stepping up to resolve it.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes, the vulnerability was there. He was reminding her how she'd hugged him and given him confidence, told him he was the best, etc. and she tried to assure everyone that he was saying all that in anger.

It really did cut him deep, it broke something in him. I saw that look in his eyes when he talked to Lala, as if he was resigned to be unwanted in her life. So sad.

He wanted her to deny it indeed. The way he kept, bol de chhori, bol de. He didn't even look at her again during the entire wedding, it was all there to see. She on the other hand felt adrift, not knowing what to do, kept brushing it aside as though it were just his outburst in anger. True, no one could expect her to say anything in that frame of mind, especially since she also felt guilty for in some way ruining her mother's wedding. What HS also wanted to see was, would she stand up for him too the way she always stood up for Babita, acknowledge how hurt he would by seeing that CD?

And being called sautela baap did not help at all. It just made everything he did seem worthless and put all those doubts in his head that he was lost. Just like during the amrit manthan dialogue with Lala, where he said a part of him had died, I believe a part of him also died during the CD fiasco and its aftermath. When Babita was about to leave the haveli, the way HS felt about losing Minnie was just so obvious, yet he never felt he could apply that haq on her to stop her or ask her for something. He thought the wedding would finally give him that but the CD incident made him feel that even an official wedding was nothing. He knows quite well that you can't force relationships on people. I just wish he wouldn't take that as a defeat and try to put the pieces together again, bring Minnie back into the fold once again.

All in all, I think too many issues happened at the same time not just during the wedding period but also the accumulated stress of all that these three have dealt with in just a few months, it was too much for them to bear. I hope they can help each other heal, they both deserve a second chance.

Some part of his has definitely either died or gone into a shell with the CD incident....he doesn't show it overtly and there is "marital bliss" with Babita to distract him on the side but something definitely changed inside him that day......He tries to be all smiling and optimistic on the surface about everything but inside, something shifted that day.

It did for Mini too....and she also does the smiling/all is well act in her own way.

And unless they both resolve it, things will only get worse....without proper confronting and resolution of those feelings, this family can't really form.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

He's already doing it 😆.....I'd thought at one time that HS-Mini would bond over the shared experience of tackling Babita since Mini has all these years of knowledge to pass on to him.....lol but it has instead turned into a territorial thing....he wants to handle Babita's emotional needs in his own way and Mini's backing off thinking he probably doesn't want to listen to her advice on Babita matters now anyways😆

NB bas say hi karti rahengi ya kabhi solution bhi dengi about tackling Babita? 🤔😆

I don't know if Babita will get it or if NB wants to give a solution. Some things need to be figured out on her own.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Wait, I don't get how Mini's feelings from the Kammo incident and CD incident are being totally discounted😕

Are we really going to say now that a child being told she's just a reminder of the past her mother wants to forget means nothing? 😕.....is this really how we approach a child's feelings?

I don't get why HS and Babita's hurt can only be "justified" at the cost of invalidating that of Mini's😕.....yeh koi competition chal raha hai yahaan pe? And that too I'm amazed that people don't get that you can't apply the same parameters to a child's hurt and that of an adult's....a child's hurt will ALWAYS take precedence.....children are always the most vulnerable.....to actually do tol mol with their hurt is really sad.

One would think that the with the benefit of life experiences, the adults in the situation would realize that the child has a lot to learn and protect the child from hurt and trauma before getting bogged down in their own trauma....isn't that a basic expectation from being an "adult"? Otherwise what's the difference between an adult and a child? Are people literally going to measure them both with the same yardstick now? 🤔

The writers are the ones dragging the story out.....and as far as I can see, sabka hurt dikhaate hain....they show plenty of Babita's hurt as she sits and stews in self-pity as well.....HS ka hurt bhi dikhaate hain....what they don't show is HS introspecting about his actions these days. Mini's hurt lies in the center cuz she will always lie in the center as the child in this family.

One can't simply "move on" from the CD incident without the ADULTS stepping up to resolve it.

Who says her feelings are being discounted? Not me.

When I said chewing gum I mean the way they are dragging this track out while focusing on her emotions. By lack of focus on others, I meant the fact they we don't see their point of view on this issue, i.e. have they really ignored it and are pretending it wasn't a big deal or do they have their thoughts about, etc.

Whatever it is, I still think HS has to step up at some point, not just about the CD but about everything that has been festering and not been addressed. He of all people should know about childhood trauma and has seen Minnie struggling because of her parents, knows about her depression and her worries about Babita.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Some part of his has definitely either died or gone into a shell with the CD incident....he doesn't show it overtly and there is "marital bliss" with Babita to distract him on the side but something definitely changed inside him that day......He tries to be all smiling and optimistic on the surface about everything but inside, something shifted that day.

It did for Mini too....and she also does the smiling/all is well act in her own way.

And unless they both resolve it, things will only get worse....without proper confronting and resolution of those feelings, this family can't really form.

It doesn't look like this is going to happen, I see the rift increasing. I don't count on Babita to fix it.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I don't know if Babita will get it or if NB wants to give a solution. Some things need to be figured out on her own.

Not when the person is question is Babita, I guess.....she is incapable of figuring anything out on her own.....this much has now been proven by the writers.

Originally posted by: inlieu

It doesn't look like this is going to happen, I see the rift increasing. I don't count on Babita to fix it.

I don't count on Babita to fix anything😆.....which is why I'd find it laughable even if they tried to show her attempting to "heal the rift".....it would feel very unconvincing given how most of the scenes have proven she is incapable of that level of reflection about this equation.

And yes, the rift will likely increase at this pace....until HS figures out how to balance b/w Babita and Mini, this issue will continue to get worse...either under the surface or overtly.