Not father but we Love eachother - Page 5

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

She might consider it important but she does not seem to want it.. Mini simply does not like when things do go her planned way or when she is told to not do something.. Babita ko she easily gives a shutup call.. can she give it to Hanuman?

Being a disciplinarian has nothing to do with being a father.. Hanuman has done what a disciplinarian would do.. he is the combination of a loving uncle and disciplinarian not a father

Anyone who has been raised the way Minnie has, without authority, with khulli chhoot, would resent authority, and that is precisely why she needs to learn discipline.

I agree, being disciplinarian has nothing to do with being a father but the converse may be true in this case where Minnie is concerned.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I will so identify with that weariness if he ever expresses it one day😆.....I'm personally already beyond tired of joru ka ghulam HS......a tired HS would be more realistic😆

Mother-daughter are absolutely a package deal and always will be....but HS still hasn't fully figured out how to manage his varying emotions for the two of them.....one is the woman he is IN LOVE with....the other is a child that he LOVES....anything he does for one in a certain way can impact the other in a different way.....this is what family looks like when you don't get the "normalcy" of starting from scratch....so you have to step up to the sensitivities.

Come on, Hanuman Singh ji...we would still like to root for you to manage this😆

Yes we are still rooting for him and will continue to do it even when he gets tired.

I wish he would have more faith in himself as a husband and as a potential father or whatever it is he wants to be for Minnie.

He's always expressed his emotions openly but now he is feeling stifled. He doesn't want to upset the apple cart but he can defo see that all is not ok. He has always been able to get through to both of them but I think repressing his own emotions to this extent and working only on the superficial level, is hurting him above all else.

Originally posted by: inlieu

HS Babita se untangle ho paaye tab usko fursat milegi na? Has there been one day since the wedding where he hasn't become occupied by something or the other related to her? LOL.

I am not sure what he needs to regain his confidence because that is hurting him now. Even his body language has changed. I hope he talks to NB about this, he needs her advice more than ever now. Minnie handing him that photo of the trio should be taken as a positive sign that she does see them as a family of sorts. I know the damage has been done to both HS and Minnie but I don't think it's so bad that they can't find their way back to each other if they want to.

If nothing else but just to hang out with each other like they used to, listen to her chatter, drop her off to college, etc. It's the little things that built their bond, and it's these things that would be a stepping stone to giving one another importance instead of having this gap.

LOL Nopee😆....not a single day.....Babita is a full time job....he's now doing two full time jobs😆....toh kahaan milegi Mini ke liye fursat?

Yes, his body language around Mini has changed markedly....he's closed off now and only sticks to surface level topics.

Damage has been done by the writing....they can find their way back with one good long meaningful scene....Aniruddh-Ashnoor have the chemistry to make up for the gaps in the script....but unko koi chance de, tab na.....lol I'm not expecting much from the photo scene....that also looks more like he's following Babita ki instructions only.....lol

NB is also busy giving advice to Babita rather than realizing that HS and Mini need a talk as well.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

It all boils down to one thing that happened during the CD fiasco....HS made the presumption in his hurt/confusion/whatever and stated one thing to Mini...."You never accepted me as your father".....and Mini didn't say a word in response....she just went numb and kept staring at him tearfully.

That single statement never got clarified.....she calmed down his anger in that scene.....he apologized to her later for not trusting her about the CD.

But she never responded to his statement from that day.....and he never asked her again....because now he's too scared.

I think it comes down to a fear of not wanting to be hurt or let down further.....Mini may have stated that "I will survive" philosophy that day but both her and HS are applying it to each other right now...."I will survive even if she can't accept me as her father"....and "I will survive even if he can't accept me as his daughter"....they are both treating at as a matter of surviving based on presumptions that haven't been corrected and they are both scared of even trying to clarify these presumptions cuz they are scared of what the answer could be and whether they will be able to survive that.

I always get the sense with these two that there is SO much love and emotion between them that it makes them more over-sensitive....gives them a greater capacity to hurt each other.....and they are both wary of that feeling.

This time I thank YOU for summing it up so beautifully, especially the part in bold. This is exactly the problem. They are both afraid to ask those questions or even bring up that topic for fear of hearing what they think the other person actually feels (which is not true, but they don't know that).

The I will survive stance is just so painful to see them both go with. The fact that Minnie never responded with 'no you are wrong Hanuman Uncle, you are my father' or 'no it's not true' hurt him a lot. But by the time she realized she does want to be his daughter, things have become so weird between the two that she won't even be the one to tell him this first, because her hurt about the lack of trust is primary.

Sigh... this kind of emotion is indeed beautiful but also difficult for both of them. Minnie has had a difficult situation with both her parents, as has he, which makes it all the more endearing to see that they both have what it takes but their fear of their emotions for each other is actually holding them back.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

LOL Nopee😆....not a single day.....Babita is a full time job....he's now doing two full time jobs😆....toh kahaan milegi Mini ke liye fursat?

Yes, his body language around Mini has changed markedly....he's closed off now and only sticks to surface level topics.

Damage has been done by the writing....they can find their way back with one good long meaningful scene....Aniruddh-Ashnoor have the chemistry to make up for the gaps in the script....but unko koi chance de, tab na.....lol I'm not expecting much from the photo scene....that also looks more like he's following Babita ki instructions only.....lol

NB is also busy giving advice to Babita rather than realizing that HS and Mini need a talk as well.

Yes, Aniruddh and Ashnoor can definitely achieve this.

NB probably thinks her son can handle things on his own but I hope she spots this soon enough because he really needs her. I hope they have a good chat in the taabeez scene.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Ewww, no. He called her his daughter on the day of the pooja to assure her, and he said the same thing to everyone upstairs as well, in front of Minnie, that his confession to Babita should have been understood in the form of him claiming to be Minnie's father. But over time, the lines got blurred because HS was already doing things as a father without realizing it. The consent form scene was one of the biggest indicators of this.

There's a lot of other stuff going on but definitely not this. They are supposed to be exploring the challenges that step children and parents face when slowly trying to adjust to each other and accept one another. Sometimes the relationship ends up being that of a parent-child, sometimes it is more of friendship than parent-child, and in other cases it's just a formal/official relationship, nothing more. It's especially difficult when the children are older as opposed to being infants/toddlers where stepparents get to raise the child and watch them grow.

Here HS and Minnie did not think about or expect that there was going to be any issues after the wedding but they were blindsided. HS knew it would take time to really become a father, but Minnie and Babita expected it to happen sooner, hence their disappointment.

One more thing: HS never had his parents' love while growing up so when he sees what happened to Minnie he understands her pain and wants to give her what he never got as a child. Everyone focused on Babita's second chance but no one thought about Minnie missing out on so much in her life. If nothing else, Lala's and NB's words should have made it clear that he loves her as his daughter but shares much more than a traditional parent-child bond because his childhood trauma connects him to Minnie and vice-versa.

Love you Jean for writing this..... 🤗

Exactly this is what they want to show and little but they have bit somewhere bcoz of drama something is missing....

Originally posted by: porankisrilata

Love you Jean for writing this..... 🤗

Exactly this is what they want to show and little but they have bit somewhere bcoz of drama something is missing....

Thank you dear. Love you back!

Originally posted by: inlieu

This time I thank YOU for summing it up so beautifully, especially the part in bold. This is exactly the problem. They are both afraid to ask those questions or even bring up that topic for fear of hearing what they think the other person actually feels (which is not true, but they don't know that).

The I will survive stance is just so painful to see them both go with. The fact that Minnie never responded with 'no you are wrong Hanuman Uncle, you are my father' or 'no it's not true' hurt him a lot. But by the time she realized she does want to be his daughter, things have become so weird between the two that she won't even be the one to tell him this first, because her hurt about the lack of trust is primary.

Sigh... this kind of emotion is indeed beautiful but also difficult for both of them. Minnie has had a difficult situation with both her parents, as has he, which makes it all the more endearing to see that they both have what it takes but their fear of their emotions for each other is actually holding them back.

Haha thank you, Jean :)

@bold: Exactly....you know, it's kinda funny....sometimes we say things in hurt where we are subconsciously testing a hypothesis....our worst fears.....that is what HS did in that moment when he told her she hasn't accepted him as her father....he WANTED her to deny it...he wanted her to forcefully correct him and with HAQ question him ki how could he ever even think that she didn't accept him as her father? Did he not understand what she feels for him?

The very fact that she didn't say anything....not the "No" he wanted to hear nor anything otherwise to correct that statement or assure him....it really cut him deep. He isn't admitting just how deep.

That scene actually hits home just how fragile this bond actually was....there is immense love but also immense vulnerability between them.....that moment tested that vulnerability and exposed the fragility of their bond.....it's a very delicate thread that needs more nurturing to strengthen.

I feel so bad for both of them....I can understand why he wanted that assurance from Mini in that moment...but at the same time, she's just a kid and she was reeling from a big shock herself in that moment....so to hold that against her is not fair.....they both actually want to give each other that assurance....but now they just don't know how. Sigh.

i saw one segment today , where ps telling that her character is busy in believing family family , one unit but its far from that .

Originally posted by: inlieu

Anyone who has been raised the way Minnie has, without authority, with khulli chhoot, would resent authority, and that is precisely why she needs to learn discipline.

I agree, being disciplinarian has nothing to do with being a father but the converse may be true in this case where Minnie is concerned.

that is because mini had to take decisions for herself and for her mother too always. So suddenly one cannot show authoritarian behavior with such a child. Such children with a own mind of themselves need to be handled differently with reasoning than just told what to do.