Not father but we Love eachother - Page 4

Originally posted by: AreYaar

@bold: LOL yes....Babita happened.....her bipolar behavior definitely doesn't help when two confused and hurt hearts are trying to sort out their emotions.....it's ironic actually.....a lot of HS-Mini ki initial bonding was about them trying to tackle Babita, motivate her, give her strength.....but now that Babita only has become the Achilles heel for them....especially HS.

As for HS....all he's trying to say is that yes, he always felt a sense of awareness towards Babita from the early days....he isn't saying he bonded with Mini simply to impress her but yes, maybe some things he did in terms of Mini were more to assure Babita than Mini.

That still doesn't take away from the immense love he has for Mini on its own level. But yes, Babita and Mini are intricately linked....so anything he does for one, has some link towards him trying to bond with the other....and vice versa.

If only the writing had allowed HS-Mini to continue developing on their own level also....it was happening through little things like the Karate competition and other chats they had.....but with the wedding track, everything got skewed into only managing Babita again.....these two hardly get the opportunity to bond on their own level without only fussing over Babita.

WORD... you've summed it up perfectly. Achilles heel is the perfect term for this.

The way Minnie said the other day that she was tired, I fully expect HS to feel that way too one day.

Mother-daughter are a package deal, there's no getting away from it.

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

I’m so confused as that PH are actually trying to show 😂

They are probably more confused than we are.

Originally posted by: inlieu

It's not Minnie's fault, but as I keep saying, HS can love her as her father if he wants to, without expecting her to reciprocate or expecting him as one. These bonds need effort, especially because they don't share blood ties. I still think as the adult and as her mentor it's up to him to lead the way and be there for her unconditionally. She will follow suit in time if she wants, and even if he thinks she doesn't want him, he needs to win her over. Many step parents go through this process with their step children as they get to know one another. I have seen this in my family, it's not easy at all.

This. Thank You. He does need to win her over. I'll say it a 100 times over....HE has to step up. l truly don't get why people blame Mini the kid in all this....he's the adult, he has to step up when the child is confused. Otherwise what is there in a parent child relationship? Should the child only be allowed to continue with their wrong and confused presumptions if they don't know any better?

HS ka confidence may have taken a hit, he may be enjoying "marital bliss" a little too much but there has to come a time when he has to step for Mini....he has to reach that realization on his own....that she needs him. He has to coax her out of her hurt and confusions. And that requires communication.

i want to know why HS still thinks mini dosent want him as father. Mini ka i can understand she is hurt because he needed proof to trust her. but what about HS. ok during the Cd fiasco he thought mini planted it, hence this thinking. but even after that doubt was cleared and he saw the actual CD he still thinks she dosent want him as father. What has mini done to make him feel so

is it just because she still hasnt addressed him as father, or after the CD fiasco he thinks he is not still upto that level where he can become minis father because he dint trust her when it mattered 😕

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

Mini Hanuman relationship was seen as father daughter one because that's how we wanted to interpret it.. everything they have shared so far can easily be regarded as a relationship between a loving uncle and a girl.. I mean not everyone we obey and look up to has to be in the same line as a father

I don't think Mini wants the authority figure of father in her life and neither does Hanuman seem too keen about having that kind of authority untill literally forced to by Babita.. he was happy as Hanuman uncle who imparted wisdom, showered with love, scolded but not significantly..

@bold from what she said to Ashok, I'm pretty sure she does consider the authority aspect important in what she seeks from a father.

HS doesn't have to want authority, it's second nature to him as a cop and disciplinarian! Jokes apart, he always pointed out to Babita that Minnie lacked discipline in her upbringing and he was always worried that she would get out of hand if not handled properly.

Originally posted by: naq5

i want to know why HS still thinks mini dosent want him as father. Mini ka i can understand she is hurt because he needed proof to trust her. but what about HS. ok during the Cd fiasco he thought mini planted it, hence this thinking. but even after that doubt was cleared and he saw the actual CD he still thinks she dosent want him as father. What has mini done to make him feel so

is it just because she still hasnt addressed him as father, or after the CD fiasco he thinks he is not still upto that level where he can become minis father because he dint trust her when it mattered 😕

All of the above plus the fact that while she was concerned about Babita being hurt, he thought she didn't care about his feelings or hurt. We'd all been saying that even though it was his wedding too, there wasn't much attention paid to what he wanted.

And after the truth of the CD came out, it hurt him even further to think that he wasn't good enough to be her father yet but he accepted it. I think that's what he meant when he told Babita, 'baap na ban paya', or when he told Lala 'baap jaisa nahin'.

Originally posted by: inlieu

WORD... you've summed it up perfectly. Achilles heel is the perfect term for this.

The way Minnie said the other day that she was tired, I fully expect HS to feel that way too one day.

Mother-daughter are a package deal, there's no getting away from it.

I will so identify with that weariness if he ever expresses it one day😆.....I'm personally already beyond tired of joru ka ghulam HS......a tired HS would be more realistic😆

Mother-daughter are absolutely a package deal and always will be....but HS still hasn't fully figured out how to manage his varying emotions for the two of them.....one is the woman he is IN LOVE with....the other is a child that he LOVES....anything he does for one in a certain way can impact the other in a different way.....this is what family looks like when you don't get the "normalcy" of starting from scratch....so you have to step up to the sensitivities.

Come on, Hanuman Singh ji...we would still like to root for you to manage this😆

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold from what she said to Ashok, I'm pretty sure she does consider the authority aspect important in what she seeks from a father.

HS doesn't have to want authority, it's second nature to him a cop and disciplinarian!

She might consider it important but she does not seem to want it.. Mini simply does not like when things do go her planned way or when she is told to not do something.. Babita ko she easily gives a shutup call.. can she give it to Hanuman?

Being a disciplinarian has nothing to do with being a father.. Hanuman has done what a disciplinarian would do.. he is the combination of a loving uncle and disciplinarian not a father

Originally posted by: AreYaar

This. Thank You. He does need to win her over. I'll say it a 100 times over....HE has to step up. l truly don't get why people blame Mini the kid in all this....he's the adult, he has to step up when the child is confused. Otherwise what is there in a parent child relationship? Should the child only be allowed to continue with their wrong and confused presumptions if they don't know any better?

HS ka confidence may have taken a hit, he may be enjoying "marital bliss" a little too much but there has to come a time when he has to step for Mini....he has to reach that realization on his own....that she needs him. He has to coax her out of her hurt and confusions. And that requires communication.

HS Babita se untangle ho paaye tab usko fursat milegi na? Has there been one day since the wedding where he hasn't become occupied by something or the other related to her? LOL.

I am not sure what he needs to regain his confidence because that is hurting him now. Even his body language has changed. I hope he talks to NB about this, he needs her advice more than ever now. Minnie handing him that photo of the trio should be taken as a positive sign that she does see them as a family of sorts. I know the damage has been done to both HS and Minnie but I don't think it's so bad that they can't find their way back to each other if they want to.

If nothing else but just to hang out with each other like they used to, listen to her chatter, drop her off to college, etc. It's the little things that built their bond, and it's these things that would be a stepping stone to giving one another importance instead of having this gap.

Originally posted by: inlieu

All of the above plus the fact that while she was concerned about Babita being hurt, he thought she didn't care about his feelings or hurt. We'd all been saying that even though it was his wedding too, there wasn't much attention paid to what he wanted.

And after the truth of the CD came out, it hurt him even further to think that he was good enough to be her father yet. I think that's what he meant when he told Babita, 'baap na ban paya', or when he told Lala 'baap jaisa nahin'.

It all boils down to one thing that happened during the CD fiasco....HS made the presumption in his hurt/confusion/whatever and stated one thing to Mini...."You never accepted me as your father".....and Mini didn't say a word in response....she just went numb and kept staring at him tearfully.

That single statement never got clarified.....she calmed down his anger in that scene.....he apologized to her later for not trusting her about the CD.

But she never responded to his statement from that day.....and he never asked her again....because now he's too scared.

I think it comes down to a fear of not wanting to be hurt or let down further.....Mini may have stated that "I will survive" philosophy that day but both her and HS are applying it to each other right now...."I will survive even if she can't accept me as her father"....and "I will survive even if he can't accept me as his daughter"....they are both treating at as a matter of surviving based on presumptions that haven't been corrected and they are both scared of even trying to clarify these presumptions cuz they are scared of what the answer could be and whether they will be able to survive that.

I always get the sense with these two that there is SO much love and emotion between them that it makes them more over-sensitive....gives them a greater capacity to hurt each other.....and they are both wary of that feeling.