1st Oct Discussion - Ajao Saray - Page 17

Originally posted by: _Reka_

My mom told my grandmom on her wedding day that she would now be like a daughter to her. My grandmom then told her that there was no need, cause she already had a daughter. Imagine the next 30 years or so...

OMG. Well, at least she was honest from day 1.

Originally posted by: tk2015

Then they wonder why people are opting for nuclear families instead of staying with in-laws. Then also we would feel that they're aged and need someone around. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

You said it.l

And its really tough. Gawwwd I can't even share what I've seen in the name of this shit. And I always have this fear of me meeting the same bloody fate.

Originally posted by: inlieu

No, actually what she was trying to say was that Babita should not expect so much from them or judge them by different standards to her own parents. They should not be held accountable for not treating her like their real daughter because that's not how they think. We were talking about this mindset in society, ke log chaahe kitna bhi bolein, par bahu ko beti ya daamaad ko beta bohot kam log maante hein, which is fine. That's their prerogative. We only get hurt when we expect them to do treat us as apne, because it's not common for such people to be able to do so - they always put blood ties above others.

Minnie wanted Babita to put things into perspective and assess what exactly she was angry about when it came to Dadu Beeji. Her intention was right but her choice of words was not, especially considering she ranted at Babita the whole time and mixed her own frustrations were in. She crossed the line in some bits, especially with Lovely bua-related comments. I also wonder if just as Babita had blamed her for spending 17 years suffering in silence, Minnie is also going to blame Babita one day for spending all those years looking after her. Jeez.

I am not in favor of Minnie getting involved in all this or even wasting her energy on grown up stuff. She has to study and just be a kid for a change. Par chalo, her savior mode is on too.

@bold - I liked her Karate analogy. Writers should have focused on that aspect more

And not make her say stuff that whitewashes her grandparents and aunt’s deeds. Khuranas May not be evil but they are selfish and they did make Babita do lot of stuff for them. Pooja rakhvao. Logo ke liye Khana banvao. Lovely ki kitty parties arrange karo. It’s like treating her a s maid. I am sorry but I do not agree that just coz she is bahu, you don’t even treat like human. Lovely’s taunts are horrible. It shouldn’t be justified.

Mini should’ve also focused on conveying her frustrations to Babita more than defending her family. That would have made more sense.

All being said, I do agree with her that Babita needs to stand up for herself. She was somewhat at fault there for not voicing it out. No matter the outcome, we have to fight our battles.

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

Sandhya ji is a brilliant actress. She was so amazing in her conversation with irfan.

The realization as to why Irfan was here, broke her.

NB 🤗

She is damn good. I wrote in a post in this morning about her telling Irfan off and was looking forward to seeing how it would be enacted, and it turned out to be brilliant.

I am so in awe of her talent and caliber.

Yes, it broke the ever-strong NB, you could feel it in everything in her body language. I am so sad seeing her like this.

I sympathize with Babita. She had no one to support her, not even her parents. Sometimes I feel that's true. You're on your own in this world. No one will take you under wings when trouble strikes, especially marriage related stuff. Cause going back is never an option unless its unbearable.

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold well said.

I wish to see a balance in all this at some point.

At this point, it’s bit too much to expect.

Originally posted by: tk2015

I agree. But I also don't want to live in a world where basic compassion has to be asked for or acquired. If we keep painting the picture that in-laws almost never treat DIL as daughter, will anything ever change? Shouldn't we fight now for our haq to be accepted equally into our new "home" as the son or their daughter is? Maybe then in our future generations we'll see improvement? I don't know, maybe I'm a bit naive in this manner. I know how my mother has lived, but can't we change that?

Then there's also the fact that we're the ones who are leaving the comforts of our family and home. Then, when we move into the new one, we have to deal with the fact that this new place will never be completely ours. There will always be that element where we have to be on our best behavior or we will be taunted about our lack of upbringing and whatnot.

Even now, my mom would sometimes teach me things by adding on that when you get married I don't want to hear that your mother didn't teach you anything. It's like our whole life we're groomed and prepared on how to deal with these in-laws. Tum khudh mar jao, par bas woh khush rahe.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Considerate in what way?

He doesn't give Ruksana freedom of thought and speech, maybe? She was talking about how she had to compromise on her ambitions and teach school children instead of higher education I guess, while Irfan is busy being a lecturer at a prestigious university.

The wild swings in Babita's characterization almost make her seem like a bipolar person. One moment she is confronting Minnie for taking her grandparents to the hospital by saying "Don't you know what people have been saying about me and how badly this will reflect on me?'. And the very next hour she is preparing to go and bring the Khuranas back to her home with folded hands. and teary face.

The first reaction from someone who has always been shown as kind, empathetic and thoughtful of others is totally out of line and the next reaction seems so misplaced given how much hurt and anger she has harbored inside her against her in-laws

why this kolaveri di, CVs?

Originally posted by: inlieu

Seriously, how did NB's son turn out like this?

The whole dil ka rishta vs. (overrated0 khoon ka rishta is a recurring theme on this show but this is the worst I've felt in a long time on the show.

I'm not saying the Khuranas deserve to be thrown out of their house because of Ashok, but someone like NB doesn't deserve any of this at all. I can't believe Irfan threatened her! He didn't even care that she had all her memories associate with the house. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I just realized how protective I have become of her. The way she sat with her head in her hands, as if she had lost everything. All the sacrifices she must have made to give her son a better life, living away from him in the knowledge that he was prospering, no matter how hard it was for her, missing her grandson... all for what? Ye din dekhne ke liye?

@bold I completely agree, in some ways he's a spitting image of her. It was blatantly obvious, especially in the pre-cap. He is doing what NB would have expected him to.

I know I am asking for too much, but I would love at least one scene where HS and NB relive his growing years and interaction with NB, especially after his mother passed away. I hope he wraps her in a bear hug and tells her he's there for her, she's not alone, she's his mother. The writers are so smart - they put in those little moments recently, like him asking her not to eat so much sweet stuff, or complaining about having to go to the tailor's for her or pulling her cheeks. I also think that because I love HS so much, I love her NB even more. In many ways, she made him what he is today.

That's because Irfan never stayed with his mother. Agar saath rehta toh thodi si akal aa jaati.

What I really want to see is HS with his head in Naeem Bi's lap and the two just talking. HS about how much Naeem Bi means to him in the absence of his own mother, and perhaps reminisce on the olden days. I just want her to be cloaked in unconditional love right now. <3